Logan Kade
Page 47
I was growing tired of the questioning. “You better be real careful about where you go with this.”
“Loga—”
“Real. Careful.” My hand jerked, forming a fist on my leg.
Nate glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. He looked back to the road and sighed. His shoulders relaxed a bit. “I’m not trying to be a nosy pain in the ass, but this girl is hurting. And if I can see it, I know you can, too.”
“You think I’m going to hurt her more?”
“No. I’m wondering if you’re falling for her because she’s hurting.”
Huh? I cocked my head to the side. “Say again?”
“Oh, boy.” Nate adjusted his hold on the wheel and rolled his shoulders back. He looked in the rearview mirror at Mason for a moment. He spoke as his gaze returned forward. “You fall for girls that are hurting. Tate—”
I interrupted, “—wasn’t hurting.”
“Yeah, she was. She had that thing going on with her parents. She was hurting back then, and so was Kris.”
“Kris.” I frowned. She hadn’t acted like it, but he was right. She’d been messed up because of her parents, too. “Okay, I’ll give you Kris.”
“And…” Nate softened his voice. “Sam.”
Oh, fuck. He went there. I shook my head. “There was a brief moment of attraction with Sam, but that was snuffed a long time ago.”
“You’re an asshole for bringing that up,” I said.
Mason was the giant elephant in the van at that moment. The whole question of Sam and me had been dealt with. It wasn’t a problem, yet Nate went there.
“I know.” Nate’s hands jerked on the wheel. “I’m sorry, but there’s a pattern. That’s my whole point. I’m worried that you’re going to fall for her because she fits some pattern for you, but your feelings won’t hold long-term. They didn’t with any of the others.”
The fuck? “I dated Tate for two years, and I was with Kris for one.”
“But you didn’t love them. And this girl, I can see you thinking you’re in love. That’s the problem.”
“That I’m going to fall for her and date her? God forbid.”
Mason started laughing, and hearing it, I relaxed a little. The question of Sam and me had been dealt with two years ago. I didn’t want Nate to spark that back up, judging from Mason’s laugh, he seemed fine.
“No, I’m talking how you think you fall for them, start dating them, and realize later you don’t love them. You hurt Kris a lot.”
I rolled my eyes. “And Tate hurt me. It’s part of dating, Nate. I’m still figuring out why you’re being a nosy punk-ass bitch right now. Do you want to date her? Is that the real issue here?”
“No.” His voice was firm, and he reached up to press his eye before returning his hand to the steering wheel. “I’m just worried about you.”
“Then tell me what you’re really worried about. Stop dancing around the issue.”
“Okay. This is what I think is going to happen: You like this girl. I can tell, and yes, you’re whatever right now. You care for her. It’s obvious the sex is good, and I can see it going somewhere deeper. But I’m worried you’ll do what you’ve been doing. You’ll date her, thinking you love her, and then you won’t. You’ll get sick of her. I’m worried you’ll shatter this girl, and I’m worried that’ll make you even more jaded.” His tone softened. “I’m worried about you. It’s not really the girl.”
“What. The. Fuck?” I stared right at him. “You on crack? Should you be driving right now?”
“You’re jaded.” Nate threw me a hard look. “I’m the one who goes out with you all the time. I see how you talk about girls, how you act around them. You’re hard inside when it comes to relationships. Tate damaged you.”
“Shut up, Nate.”
“Liking Sam, and then realizing she was Mason’s soulmate? That bothered you, too.”
“I mean it, Nate. Shut up.”
“Then Kris. You dated her, and you almost broke her. That girl straight up loved you. I’m talking real love.”
“Nate!” My hands formed fists in my lap, but I pressed them against my leg.
He didn’t stop. “I know it bothers you that you hurt her. You’ve not dated another girl since. You screw ’em, and you discard ’em. I’m wondering how that’s hurting you, too. I think this girl, if you do date her—it’s going to happen again. You’re going to think you love her, but not actually let yourself love her because you’ve got some fucking hard walls up to girls right now. I’m worried about the long-term effects.”
We were nearing the house. If we hadn’t been, I would’ve made him pull over. Nate didn’t know anything. I focused on keeping my hands on my lap because if they came up, I’d hit him. I felt it in me—the need to fight, to lash out. It was like a demon. That motherfucker wanted out of me. He wanted to act up, do some damage.
“Logan—” Nate wasn’t paying attention to me. I could hear it in his voice. He was going to keep going, keep dishing his shit.
“Stop,” Mason cut him off. His voice was soft. I could feel my brother’s eyes on me. He added, “Drop it, Nate.”
“What?” Nate’s voice grew clearer. He must’ve looked over at me. “Oh.”
“Loga—”
“Real. Careful.” My hand jerked, forming a fist on my leg.
Nate glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. He looked back to the road and sighed. His shoulders relaxed a bit. “I’m not trying to be a nosy pain in the ass, but this girl is hurting. And if I can see it, I know you can, too.”
“You think I’m going to hurt her more?”
“No. I’m wondering if you’re falling for her because she’s hurting.”
Huh? I cocked my head to the side. “Say again?”
“Oh, boy.” Nate adjusted his hold on the wheel and rolled his shoulders back. He looked in the rearview mirror at Mason for a moment. He spoke as his gaze returned forward. “You fall for girls that are hurting. Tate—”
I interrupted, “—wasn’t hurting.”
“Yeah, she was. She had that thing going on with her parents. She was hurting back then, and so was Kris.”
“Kris.” I frowned. She hadn’t acted like it, but he was right. She’d been messed up because of her parents, too. “Okay, I’ll give you Kris.”
“And…” Nate softened his voice. “Sam.”
Oh, fuck. He went there. I shook my head. “There was a brief moment of attraction with Sam, but that was snuffed a long time ago.”
“You’re an asshole for bringing that up,” I said.
Mason was the giant elephant in the van at that moment. The whole question of Sam and me had been dealt with. It wasn’t a problem, yet Nate went there.
“I know.” Nate’s hands jerked on the wheel. “I’m sorry, but there’s a pattern. That’s my whole point. I’m worried that you’re going to fall for her because she fits some pattern for you, but your feelings won’t hold long-term. They didn’t with any of the others.”
The fuck? “I dated Tate for two years, and I was with Kris for one.”
“But you didn’t love them. And this girl, I can see you thinking you’re in love. That’s the problem.”
“That I’m going to fall for her and date her? God forbid.”
Mason started laughing, and hearing it, I relaxed a little. The question of Sam and me had been dealt with two years ago. I didn’t want Nate to spark that back up, judging from Mason’s laugh, he seemed fine.
“No, I’m talking how you think you fall for them, start dating them, and realize later you don’t love them. You hurt Kris a lot.”
I rolled my eyes. “And Tate hurt me. It’s part of dating, Nate. I’m still figuring out why you’re being a nosy punk-ass bitch right now. Do you want to date her? Is that the real issue here?”
“No.” His voice was firm, and he reached up to press his eye before returning his hand to the steering wheel. “I’m just worried about you.”
“Then tell me what you’re really worried about. Stop dancing around the issue.”
“Okay. This is what I think is going to happen: You like this girl. I can tell, and yes, you’re whatever right now. You care for her. It’s obvious the sex is good, and I can see it going somewhere deeper. But I’m worried you’ll do what you’ve been doing. You’ll date her, thinking you love her, and then you won’t. You’ll get sick of her. I’m worried you’ll shatter this girl, and I’m worried that’ll make you even more jaded.” His tone softened. “I’m worried about you. It’s not really the girl.”
“What. The. Fuck?” I stared right at him. “You on crack? Should you be driving right now?”
“You’re jaded.” Nate threw me a hard look. “I’m the one who goes out with you all the time. I see how you talk about girls, how you act around them. You’re hard inside when it comes to relationships. Tate damaged you.”
“Shut up, Nate.”
“Liking Sam, and then realizing she was Mason’s soulmate? That bothered you, too.”
“I mean it, Nate. Shut up.”
“Then Kris. You dated her, and you almost broke her. That girl straight up loved you. I’m talking real love.”
“Nate!” My hands formed fists in my lap, but I pressed them against my leg.
He didn’t stop. “I know it bothers you that you hurt her. You’ve not dated another girl since. You screw ’em, and you discard ’em. I’m wondering how that’s hurting you, too. I think this girl, if you do date her—it’s going to happen again. You’re going to think you love her, but not actually let yourself love her because you’ve got some fucking hard walls up to girls right now. I’m worried about the long-term effects.”
We were nearing the house. If we hadn’t been, I would’ve made him pull over. Nate didn’t know anything. I focused on keeping my hands on my lap because if they came up, I’d hit him. I felt it in me—the need to fight, to lash out. It was like a demon. That motherfucker wanted out of me. He wanted to act up, do some damage.
“Logan—” Nate wasn’t paying attention to me. I could hear it in his voice. He was going to keep going, keep dishing his shit.
“Stop,” Mason cut him off. His voice was soft. I could feel my brother’s eyes on me. He added, “Drop it, Nate.”
“What?” Nate’s voice grew clearer. He must’ve looked over at me. “Oh.”
