Logan Kade
Page 81
Mason bit out a laugh. “You fell in love, Logan.”
I slumped down and cringed. Fucking hell. Love. “Love’s for pussies.”
He coughed.
I shot him a sideways look. “Yeah, you’re a pussy.”
His hand moved faster than I could react, and he slapped me on the back of the head again.
I groaned. I didn’t even argue.
“Look, I’ve not approved of your choices. Tate was a royal bitch.”
“She was a whore,” I added.
His head moved up and down. “Yeah, she was that, too, and Kris…” He shook his head. “She was too young. She had too many issues, and you—”
I looked out over the city as I said, “—didn’t love her.”
“Yeah. There’s that.”
He sighed.
I sighed.
This was a fucking sigh-worthy event.
“I don’t want to be in love,” I announced.
“Well. You are so deal with it, or lose her. Those are your two options.” He turned to look out of the car with me. Only I wasn’t seeing the city laid out beneath us. I wasn’t seeing anything except Taylor, how she looked on that sidewalk. She’d been running, and I wanted to hurt her, like the dipshit I was. I wanted to hurt her, and she saw right through me.
“You’re sweet. You’re kind. You want to be loved.” I could hear her voice. She was so strong, so sure—like she had a secret no one else knew, one the entire universe wanted to know. “You want a girl who’ll hold your hand on top of a broken roller coaster. You want a partner in crime…”
And that girl I fucked—I didn’t remember her name. She was forgotten as soon as I woke up, and if I passed her on the street, I wouldn’t recognize her. But she came forward to stake her claim, and Taylor stopped her.
There hadn’t even been a chance for a battle. “That’s not you,” Taylor had said. “That’s not the real you.”
“Fuck,” I muttered.
She’d touched me, and my hand moved there now, resting on my stomach. “I see you,” she’d said.
I groaned, closing my eyes. “What do I do?”
I felt my brother look at me, and he said, so simply, “You go get her.”
I HAD HIM
TAYLOR
King Cain Bowl had been partially renovated in the last few years, but as I entered the front lobby, I smelled the same musk that I remembered from childhood: thick, red shaggy carpet; the smell of old, worn shoes; the aroma of burnt popcorn; and teenage sweat. All of that hit me as I walked inside, and I was instantly comforted. Some things never changed.
The front desk sat a half-level below the lanes. The wall was open so I could see shoes going back and forth when I went to pay. Sounds of bowling balls hitting the floor and slamming into the pins mixed with loud music, talking, and laughter. It was busier than I remembered. Then again, I got off early from my shift, so it was close to seven thirty. It was prime time for some bowling magic.
“Size seven.” The clerk put my shoes on the counter.
I wasn’t sure how many games we’d be playing, so I looked around for Jeremy, but before I could spot him, I turned to see Claire coming in the front doors behind me. And my stomach dropped. Eric was behind her.
I locked up. Everything. All my insides. “What are you doing here?” I asked just as I heard “Hey!” from my left.
Jeremy was coming down the stairs from the lanes. His hand was lifted in a wave, but not for me. He grinned at Claire. As he paused and followed her eyes to me, his smile changed, but it didn’t disappear.
Claire paused, coming no closer, but she glanced sideways at Eric. She frowned, her hands folded in front of her.
I looked at Eric. “What are you doing here?” It’d been almost eleven months since that day, and as I stared at him now, I no longer knew him.
“Okay. Here goes.” His shoulders lifted with a deep breath. “I came to apologize, because…” He glanced around to Jeremy and Claire before focusing on me again. “I’m sorry, Taylor. I’m sorry that I didn’t protect you. I don’t know what happened to me that day, but I’m sorry I let you down. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you. I’m sorry I didn’t stay.”
“What?”
He nodded. Disappointment. Shame. Guilt. Regret—all of those emotions filled his face. “I couldn’t live with what I did. I know Jason told you I went back to school, but I didn’t.”
“What?” This wasn’t making sense.
Eric lifted a shoulder. “I’ve been hiding this last year. Jason called me. He told me that you might need me.”
“Jason knew you were here?”
He nodded. “I thought he’d hate me, too, but I never told him what I did. I should’ve, though. I should’ve just for you, but it was obvious you hadn’t told him too and,” he glanced away, his Adam’s Apple bobbing up and down before he looked back. “I was a coward. I’ve been a coward this whole time, but I can’t anymore, though. That’s why I came tonight. I’m going back to school. I’m going up there to see if I can get back in, and I’m going to stay put, find an apartment. I’m going to stop hiding.”
This guy had been my first love—my first everything—my best friend, my lover. And I...was speechless. I stared at him now, and all the hate that I thought I would’ve felt was gone. I felt nothing.
I slumped down and cringed. Fucking hell. Love. “Love’s for pussies.”
He coughed.
I shot him a sideways look. “Yeah, you’re a pussy.”
His hand moved faster than I could react, and he slapped me on the back of the head again.
I groaned. I didn’t even argue.
“Look, I’ve not approved of your choices. Tate was a royal bitch.”
“She was a whore,” I added.
His head moved up and down. “Yeah, she was that, too, and Kris…” He shook his head. “She was too young. She had too many issues, and you—”
I looked out over the city as I said, “—didn’t love her.”
“Yeah. There’s that.”
He sighed.
I sighed.
This was a fucking sigh-worthy event.
“I don’t want to be in love,” I announced.
“Well. You are so deal with it, or lose her. Those are your two options.” He turned to look out of the car with me. Only I wasn’t seeing the city laid out beneath us. I wasn’t seeing anything except Taylor, how she looked on that sidewalk. She’d been running, and I wanted to hurt her, like the dipshit I was. I wanted to hurt her, and she saw right through me.
“You’re sweet. You’re kind. You want to be loved.” I could hear her voice. She was so strong, so sure—like she had a secret no one else knew, one the entire universe wanted to know. “You want a girl who’ll hold your hand on top of a broken roller coaster. You want a partner in crime…”
And that girl I fucked—I didn’t remember her name. She was forgotten as soon as I woke up, and if I passed her on the street, I wouldn’t recognize her. But she came forward to stake her claim, and Taylor stopped her.
There hadn’t even been a chance for a battle. “That’s not you,” Taylor had said. “That’s not the real you.”
“Fuck,” I muttered.
She’d touched me, and my hand moved there now, resting on my stomach. “I see you,” she’d said.
I groaned, closing my eyes. “What do I do?”
I felt my brother look at me, and he said, so simply, “You go get her.”
I HAD HIM
TAYLOR
King Cain Bowl had been partially renovated in the last few years, but as I entered the front lobby, I smelled the same musk that I remembered from childhood: thick, red shaggy carpet; the smell of old, worn shoes; the aroma of burnt popcorn; and teenage sweat. All of that hit me as I walked inside, and I was instantly comforted. Some things never changed.
The front desk sat a half-level below the lanes. The wall was open so I could see shoes going back and forth when I went to pay. Sounds of bowling balls hitting the floor and slamming into the pins mixed with loud music, talking, and laughter. It was busier than I remembered. Then again, I got off early from my shift, so it was close to seven thirty. It was prime time for some bowling magic.
“Size seven.” The clerk put my shoes on the counter.
I wasn’t sure how many games we’d be playing, so I looked around for Jeremy, but before I could spot him, I turned to see Claire coming in the front doors behind me. And my stomach dropped. Eric was behind her.
I locked up. Everything. All my insides. “What are you doing here?” I asked just as I heard “Hey!” from my left.
Jeremy was coming down the stairs from the lanes. His hand was lifted in a wave, but not for me. He grinned at Claire. As he paused and followed her eyes to me, his smile changed, but it didn’t disappear.
Claire paused, coming no closer, but she glanced sideways at Eric. She frowned, her hands folded in front of her.
I looked at Eric. “What are you doing here?” It’d been almost eleven months since that day, and as I stared at him now, I no longer knew him.
“Okay. Here goes.” His shoulders lifted with a deep breath. “I came to apologize, because…” He glanced around to Jeremy and Claire before focusing on me again. “I’m sorry, Taylor. I’m sorry that I didn’t protect you. I don’t know what happened to me that day, but I’m sorry I let you down. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you. I’m sorry I didn’t stay.”
“What?”
He nodded. Disappointment. Shame. Guilt. Regret—all of those emotions filled his face. “I couldn’t live with what I did. I know Jason told you I went back to school, but I didn’t.”
“What?” This wasn’t making sense.
Eric lifted a shoulder. “I’ve been hiding this last year. Jason called me. He told me that you might need me.”
“Jason knew you were here?”
He nodded. “I thought he’d hate me, too, but I never told him what I did. I should’ve, though. I should’ve just for you, but it was obvious you hadn’t told him too and,” he glanced away, his Adam’s Apple bobbing up and down before he looked back. “I was a coward. I’ve been a coward this whole time, but I can’t anymore, though. That’s why I came tonight. I’m going back to school. I’m going up there to see if I can get back in, and I’m going to stay put, find an apartment. I’m going to stop hiding.”
This guy had been my first love—my first everything—my best friend, my lover. And I...was speechless. I stared at him now, and all the hate that I thought I would’ve felt was gone. I felt nothing.
