Logan's Choice

Page 11

“I need to talk to him then,” Marco said, leaning forward. “You know our attempts to work out an agreement for release for Logan were ignored. Yesterday one of our friends in town passed a note to one ofElias’ guards in a cafe. He gave it to Elias. Elias wrote out an answer and tacked it to the bulletin board for everyone to see.”
“You aren’t still thinking of letting him go? I won’t let him go, Marco.I can’t,” Ian said firmly.
“I know, but our friend didn’t know we’d given up on that or what’s happened with Logan.” He held a slip of paper out to Ian.
“Bastard,” Ian growled after reading both the offer and the answer. “How can any father do that to his own son?” He growled again. “Logan hasn’t said much about him, but it was easy to tell he hates him and has had a damned lonely life.”
“Will you tell Logan?”
“Eventually. Maybe not right away.”
“This time, I’ll talk to him alone—no use getting Casey and the others involved at this point. Tensions are running too high.”
“If Caseytouches Logan again, I’ll…”
Marco shook his head, a worried look on his face. “That’s not going to happen. I know how upsetting it was for you, for all of us. After the talk I had with Casey, I don’t think anything like that will ever happen again. He knows how wrong he was. Still, it’s best if we speak to Logan alone. Less traumatizing for him that way.”
Ian nodded. “Let him rest until this afternoon. Maybe around one o’clock?”
“Fine.” Marco finished his coffee and stood up. “Is anyone with him?”
“No, but I fed him so he’d sleep most of the day and posted a guard outside my quarters, in case he should wake up and try to wander around.”
“Good. Until he has time to settle in more, it’s a good idea to keep an eye on him, just in case. See you this afternoon.”
Marco walked off, and Ian finished his breakfast, thinking of Logan. He was so strong willed it was difficult for him to be in love with Ian. It went against everything he’d been taught since he was a small child, morally.He’d been told all his life loving a man was wrong, and he’d been taught wolves were monstrous creatures for probably just as long. Now that he knew the last to be untrue, it had made him question a lot ofthe other things he’d been taught as well. He was having a difficult time.
The mating bite and the subsequent feedings created a bond of caring, dependency, and obedience. Ian knew that. He was hoping in time, Logan would come to love him for himself as well. He’d known when he saw Logan in his cell that, as deeply embedded as Logan’s Hunter beliefs were, simply turning him to Werekin without the stronger bonds of mating wouldn’t have been enough to overcome the brainwashing, which he believed Elias’ training was. They couldn’t have controlled him.
The lack of inhibitions while in heat would have subsided, and the stronger training of a lifetime would have come back to the surface. Ian knew that the moment he saw Logan standing in that cell challenging him. He knewhe didn’t have a prayer of escaping and expected death any minute, yet he was defiant.
It would have been even harder for the pack to kill him as Werekin, but it would have had to be done if Logan turned on them instead of joining them. A stronger bond, the bond of mating, had to be done for it to work at all. Besides, at his first sight of him, as Ian told Logan, he wanted Logan for his own.
Maybe he should have left him alone after he came out of heat until he sorted out his feelings, but once Logan accepted mating and Ian gave him the mating bite and his knot, Ian had little choice. The mate wasn’t the only one affected by the ritual and the bond went both ways. The problem was it would be hard for Logan to sort out the real natural feelings buried deep by the prejudices drummed into his head all his life from the feelings caused by the mating. He might never know for sure which was which. Neither would Ian. The only thing Ian knew was he had fallen in love with Logan, deeply and irrevocably.
He had loved Maria and always would. He still missed her every day, but Logan excited him in a way he’d never experienced before. He wanted to be with him constantly. This morning he had to get up to go to work.The wolves from Casey’s old pack needed living space, and Ian was the construction site foreman. He resented the time he’d have to spend away from him. It may not be a blood match, but it certainly was a love match. At least it was for Ian. Maybe he could make it a little easier for Logan. He smiled grimly. Compromise, Logan had saidwhen he’d given him the shirt. Maybe, after he was sure of Logan, he could let up a little.
Wearily, he stood up to head out to the construction site, experiencing unreasonable resentment over any of the time he would spend away from Logan. He’d almost forgotten what it was like to be so much in love. So exciting, and so miserable at the same time.
Logan stretched as he came awake and reached out for Ian. Finding nothing but the empty covers, he felt alone and abandoned for a few moments. How had he allowed himself to feel this way about a wolf? The very idea appalled him. At the same time, he imagined Ian’s big, muscular body wrapping around him. He rolled over and buried his face in Ian’s pillow, breathing in the scent of him, themost delicious smell he’d ever come across. Probably a trick of his mind since the mating bite. Still he wrapped his arms around the pillow and breathed deeply.
He thought about the wild lovemaking of the night and day before. Ian was insatiable, seeming to want to have his cock stuck in some part of Logan at all times. When he’d finally worn Logan out, he cuddled with him the rest of the night, spooning him and caressing his balls and his cock until he went to sleep. He’d made love to him so often it no longer seemed strange, at least not while they were doing it. Other times were when he questioned his own sexuality and masculinity. During the night, Logan woke up to Ian lying on his back, away from him. Missing his warmth, Logan snuggled up beside him, rubbing his face against his chest. Ian woke up and took him in his arms, kissing him over and over until it almost took his breath away. Did enjoying the attention make him less a man? Craving it? Needing it?
The door to the bedroom opened, and Ian came in chasing doubts away. In the flesh, Logan’s instant reaction stirred his cock. Ian walked over to the bed, bent down, took Logan in his arms, and kissed him thoroughly, sweeping his tongue inside his mouth and swirling it over his lips, stirring Logan’s cock even more.
“Good morning, sweetheart . Get up and take a quick shower. The alpha is here, waiting to speak to you.”
Logan groaned, but Ian pulled him out of bed, put him on his feet, and gave him a pat on the ass. “Go ahead. We’ll be waiting for you outside. There’s coffee.”
Blushing, Logan went obediently into the bathroom to take a shower. He didn’t quite understand how he felt compelled to do whatever he was told to do by Ian, and it embarrassed him at how easily controlled he was. Like a child. Ian kind of treated him like a child— except for the near constant demand for sex.
The worst thing was he had come to need the sex with Ian like he needed to breathe. He loved everything about the big wolf, and his whole world revolved around him. If only he could relax and enjoy the relationship, without feeling like he was pathetic and emasculated. He could only imagine what his father would say if he knew.
He took a quick shower, dried off, and dressed in the usual leather pants and black Tshirt. One thing about his new life, it took a lot of the decision-making away. He didn’t seem to have to make any choices anymore. Every decision was made for him. Very different from what he’d come to think of as his old life. Or was it?
For as long as he could remember his father had made all of the important decisions in his life—once he acknowledged he had a son and that son was old enough to take his interest. Where to go to school, even who his friends would be. As Elias Winter’s only son, he was constantly reminded he had certain standards to live up to. Hell, even in choosing his career for him, his father had dictated how Logan would dress. Joining the group his father led called The Hunters just as soon as he finished high school was expected. He’d wanted to go to college but no college education was needed to be a soldier. He wasn’t made one of the leaders either, but joined as one of the rank and file. His father demanded he learn things the hard way, from the ground up.
His training had been intense, worse than any boot camp. Six months of physical training, combat and infantry skills, survival skills, and rifle training. For the next year, he’d gone out on reconnaissance with various groups, searching for rogue wolves and wolf clans. It was dangerous duty, and some teams never came back. Through all this training, his father never once contacted him, nor was he allowed to get in touch with his father. No way the general being his father was going to make things easier for him. The old man was tough, and he believed everything he did made Logan that much stronger and tougher too. In point of fact, it just made him feel alone and alienated, both things Ian had told him he’d sensed after the first bite. Ian said the bite sometimes released a human’s deepest secret feelings and their inhibitions.
His conflicting feelings about his father were nothing new to Logan. The possibility of being gay was. He wasn’t a homosexual, or at least he’d never thought of himself as gay even if he never really got the whole gay bashing thinghe’d witnessed in others. He didn’t see what two guys having sex did to hurt anyone else. He didn’t think that made him gay, even if he’d never had a girlfriend and had never been interested in girls, really. Not that interested in sex, actually. The schedule his father kept him on never left much time for it, even the hookers his father approved of. He liked being with guys and had sometimes admired their bodies in the shower after workouts, though he had always looked away. He didn’t know if it was because hefelt guilty in admiring them and worried he’d want more if he kept looking, or if it meant nothing at all. All he knew was he wanted as muchof Ian’s body as he could get and felt guilty and dirty because of it.