Long Way Home
Page 58
“You should have told us you were leaving last night and you especially should have told us you were leaving with Violet,” he finally says.
“We wanted to be alone.”
“We give you privacy at the cabin.”
“We needed to be alone on our own terms. At some point, the club’s going to have to give up on watching us and let us live our lives.”
Cyrus strokes his beard. “You sound like Violet.”
“She’s got some good points and she’s worth listening to.”
“You’ve been home two weeks. Are you going to be mad at us for making sure the girl you love is safe?”
Kick straight to the nuts.
“Won’t lie,” he continues. “I can’t imagine what it’s like for the two of you. Can’t imagine the demons that come along with a night like you had. Me and the club, we might not always be right, but we try. Don’t fault us for that.” Silence as he circles his finger around the rim of his coffee cup. “We care about you and Violet. When I heard you two were taken...”
Cyrus shakes his head and my chest hurts. He looks up at me then, straight in the eye. “I didn’t want to lose you. Still don’t. I’ve lost friends, lost your father, lost a woman who was like a daughter to me and then my granddaughter. I lost my wife. I’ve done too much losing for any man and my soul can’t take much more. You’re more than a grandson to me. You’re a part of me and I can’t take losing you.”
A hard man. A stoic man. Taught me to tie my shoes, a tie and a slipknot for the boat at the pond. Taught me to pet a dog, make eye contact when shaking a hand and how to throw a punch. Taught me how to be a man of integrity in a world that says integrity is a relic.
I drop into the chair across from him. “The football mess—I know you want to help, but you barging in and yelling at the board won’t help. It will only give them the proof they need.”
“Are you ashamed of this club?”
“No.”
“But you only want our help on your terms? Sorry to tell you, that’s not how we work.”
All or nothing. How many times has Violet said this to me? “Why can’t football belong to me?”
“It can, but you’ve been listening to Violet too much. All we want to do is help and all I hear is you pushing me away.”
“Sometimes navigating between this world and the world outside the clubhouse walls isn’t easy. Some battles I need to fight on my own.”
“You’re not the first man to say that. In fact, your father said that to me more than a few times.”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”
No response from Cyrus.
“Why did James go to Louisville?” I ask.
Cyrus readjusts in his chair and I will him to answer, not shut me down like he has for eighteen years. “The work he was looking for wasn’t available in Snowflake.”
“I thought he was a welder.” James went to college, worked part-time as a welder to pay his way through school, got his bachelors, but after he graduated, he kept welding.
“He was.” The answer simple.
A pit forms in my stomach. Plenty of welding jobs in the area. “Why not Bowling Green, then?”
“James wanted Louisville.”
“Why?”
“The men who kidnapped you and Violet were brought in to Louisville last night. Eli and I will be pulling the two of you out of school early and will drive you there for the lineup.”
My mind stretches in two opposite directions and it comes close to ripping my brain in half. Cyrus can talk about my father for hours when it comes to anything before his graduation from high school, but the after...he goes dead silent. The need to understand my father is overpowering, but the need to protect Violet is stronger. “Violet needs to be told.”
“You can do it if you want. Eli’s driving her back here so you can take her to school. We thought you would prefer that.”
We would. “Thanks.”
Cyrus leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. “I know you and Violet are tight again. How tight I don’t know, but I want to warn you—”
“I’m being careful,” I cut him off. “I’m not interested in hurting her.”
“That’s not what I mean. I’ve been watching Violet and something’s got her spooked. If anyone comes up on her too fast or if she’s alone, she jumps. Not a lot, but enough. And she’s watching everyone and everything. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”
I have. It’s not big enough that I would have guessed anyone else would have noticed, but Cyrus understands how to read people, too. “Maybe you missed we were kidnapped.”
“It’s more than that. She’s scared. Doesn’t trust where she’s at.”
How do I explain she doesn’t trust the club? “She’ll feel better once she sleeps in her own bed. Violet needs to feel normal again, even if normal is still far away.”
He knocks his hand twice against the table. “She’s hiding something. I know you don’t want to hear it. Know you’re too vested in things working out between the two of you, but I’ve been thinking about this kidnapping over and over again. If they wanted you, why would they be near Violet’s house? If they wanted you, why would they have stopped at her car? I saw where you were taken. Your bike was hidden behind her car from their viewpoint.”
“We wanted to be alone.”
“We give you privacy at the cabin.”
“We needed to be alone on our own terms. At some point, the club’s going to have to give up on watching us and let us live our lives.”
Cyrus strokes his beard. “You sound like Violet.”
“She’s got some good points and she’s worth listening to.”
“You’ve been home two weeks. Are you going to be mad at us for making sure the girl you love is safe?”
Kick straight to the nuts.
“Won’t lie,” he continues. “I can’t imagine what it’s like for the two of you. Can’t imagine the demons that come along with a night like you had. Me and the club, we might not always be right, but we try. Don’t fault us for that.” Silence as he circles his finger around the rim of his coffee cup. “We care about you and Violet. When I heard you two were taken...”
Cyrus shakes his head and my chest hurts. He looks up at me then, straight in the eye. “I didn’t want to lose you. Still don’t. I’ve lost friends, lost your father, lost a woman who was like a daughter to me and then my granddaughter. I lost my wife. I’ve done too much losing for any man and my soul can’t take much more. You’re more than a grandson to me. You’re a part of me and I can’t take losing you.”
A hard man. A stoic man. Taught me to tie my shoes, a tie and a slipknot for the boat at the pond. Taught me to pet a dog, make eye contact when shaking a hand and how to throw a punch. Taught me how to be a man of integrity in a world that says integrity is a relic.
I drop into the chair across from him. “The football mess—I know you want to help, but you barging in and yelling at the board won’t help. It will only give them the proof they need.”
“Are you ashamed of this club?”
“No.”
“But you only want our help on your terms? Sorry to tell you, that’s not how we work.”
All or nothing. How many times has Violet said this to me? “Why can’t football belong to me?”
“It can, but you’ve been listening to Violet too much. All we want to do is help and all I hear is you pushing me away.”
“Sometimes navigating between this world and the world outside the clubhouse walls isn’t easy. Some battles I need to fight on my own.”
“You’re not the first man to say that. In fact, your father said that to me more than a few times.”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”
No response from Cyrus.
“Why did James go to Louisville?” I ask.
Cyrus readjusts in his chair and I will him to answer, not shut me down like he has for eighteen years. “The work he was looking for wasn’t available in Snowflake.”
“I thought he was a welder.” James went to college, worked part-time as a welder to pay his way through school, got his bachelors, but after he graduated, he kept welding.
“He was.” The answer simple.
A pit forms in my stomach. Plenty of welding jobs in the area. “Why not Bowling Green, then?”
“James wanted Louisville.”
“Why?”
“The men who kidnapped you and Violet were brought in to Louisville last night. Eli and I will be pulling the two of you out of school early and will drive you there for the lineup.”
My mind stretches in two opposite directions and it comes close to ripping my brain in half. Cyrus can talk about my father for hours when it comes to anything before his graduation from high school, but the after...he goes dead silent. The need to understand my father is overpowering, but the need to protect Violet is stronger. “Violet needs to be told.”
“You can do it if you want. Eli’s driving her back here so you can take her to school. We thought you would prefer that.”
We would. “Thanks.”
Cyrus leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. “I know you and Violet are tight again. How tight I don’t know, but I want to warn you—”
“I’m being careful,” I cut him off. “I’m not interested in hurting her.”
“That’s not what I mean. I’ve been watching Violet and something’s got her spooked. If anyone comes up on her too fast or if she’s alone, she jumps. Not a lot, but enough. And she’s watching everyone and everything. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”
I have. It’s not big enough that I would have guessed anyone else would have noticed, but Cyrus understands how to read people, too. “Maybe you missed we were kidnapped.”
“It’s more than that. She’s scared. Doesn’t trust where she’s at.”
How do I explain she doesn’t trust the club? “She’ll feel better once she sleeps in her own bed. Violet needs to feel normal again, even if normal is still far away.”
He knocks his hand twice against the table. “She’s hiding something. I know you don’t want to hear it. Know you’re too vested in things working out between the two of you, but I’ve been thinking about this kidnapping over and over again. If they wanted you, why would they be near Violet’s house? If they wanted you, why would they have stopped at her car? I saw where you were taken. Your bike was hidden behind her car from their viewpoint.”
