Long Way Home
Page 97
“Justin let me pick it out. There were over a thousand fish and this one spoke to me.”
“That’s a Siamese fighting fish,” Razor says. “Those are highly aggressive. The males will kill one another. Females sometimes will, too. I had a buddy once tell me that if you put a mirror up to the tank that the fish will kill itself trying to fight its reflection.”
From the slight tilt of her lips, she already knows all of this and I kiss her temple. Violet picked the fish that best describes herself.
“It’s a reminder,” she whispers to me, but she’s aware Oz and Razor hear.
“Of what?” I ask.
“That there are some fights worth fighting and some fights that need to be let go. And that sometimes I need to really take a good look in the mirror before I react.”
“I need one of those fish,” Razor mumbles.
She giggles, then sighs. “Our English paper is due tomorrow.”
School. Somehow that feels a thousand miles away. So do football games and pep rallies, dances and homework. “Have you written yours?”
“Nope.”
“You two mean you can’t figure out which path to take?” Razor says teasingly.
I know what path to take, and the way Violet kisses my neck, she knows, too. It’s not the one most travelled. It’s not the one least taken. We don’t need a path when we’re confident enough to set our own course in the thick woods.
“Remember you promised me boring,” she says. “And I think we should start with blueberry pie. I like blueberry pie. I want to eat it until blueberries are running through my blood.”
“I, Chevy, do promise you, Violet, a life that is as boring as we can possibly create.”
She smiles and I’d do anything right now to have her alone, roll her under me and kiss her in very not boring ways.
Rumbles of motorcycle engines and we don’t move. Due to the arrests, guys from other chapters have been driving in all night and evening. Oz watches the yard, then he stands. “It’s them. It’s Eli and Cyrus.”
Violet hugs me and I hug her back. She’s aware, like me, that they’re going to want answers.
Violet
AFTER ELI STALKED into the cabin and saw the four of us there, he raged out of the cabin and ordered every single person to leave. It didn’t matter how long they had driven to get there. He didn’t care who had what position on the board. He didn’t care about anything. Eli came across like a man whose mental wires had crossed, causing a nuclear reactor meltdown.
Then after two hours of him stalking around the place to confirm there was nobody around, he yelled at us to go to Church and we did. All four of us scuffling over like puppies with ears back and tails between our legs.
It isn’t lost on me that this is the first time I’ve been officially invited to Church. It isn’t lost on me that I might be the very first woman to have that invitation extended. But I don’t revel in the win, at least not now. Eli’s a little too hotheaded and heading to crazy for me to do anything more than stare at the wooden table in front of me.
Eli yelled. A lot. The yelling I expected and could take. The extremely silent and intimidating stare from Cyrus unnerved me.
“Do you have any idea how much danger you were in?” This time I’m pretty sure he’s shouting just at me and not at the overall group. “I thought you were smart. I thought you had enough common sense to keep yourself alive.”
I’m not fighting back. None of us are. We went behind their backs, behind the club’s back, but not one of us regrets it.
“Why, Violet? Why would you do all this? I understand now that you didn’t feel safe. I understand that we’ve got a security problem, but why the hell didn’t you find a way to tell me? Just me?”
Eli stops yelling and I glance up from my possibly hours-long stare at the table to meet his eyes. His questions until now have been rhetorical, but from the way he’s standing with his hands on his hips and glare firmly planted on me, he wants an answer.
“Because you never would have allowed me to wear the recorder. You would have tried to find a way to fix this on your own and the only way this could work is if I did it. I want the Riot out of our lives, so I did what I had to do.”
Eli grabs hold of the chair in front of him and his knuckles turn white under his grip. “You’re damn straight I would have stopped you. I promised your father I would take care of you if anything should ever happen to him. Even if I didn’t make that promise, I still would have and will do anything to protect you. I don’t ever want you pulling bullshit like this again.”
Hopefully, I won’t have to pull bullshit like this again. “But I will...that is, if it means keeping the people I love safe. Eli...yesterday at the diner, you asked me if our relationship was worth something and I want you to know that it is. It was worth my wearing that recorder.”
Eli’s eyes snap shut, and for the first time since we entered Church, he drops into a chair. “The Riot have already started with the account numbers. The police could probably go in and arrest them now, but they want to keep handing them rope to hang themselves with. Cyrus and I have given them permission to keep doing what they’re doing. I can’t decide if I want to hug the four of you or strangle you and I’m too fucking beat to decide. All of you are staying here until I can figure out what the hell I’m going to do with my security problems.”
Eli glares at me as if he’s waiting for me to challenge him and that glare is rightfully warranted. A week ago, I would have been in his face, but I’m all angered out. “Okay.”
“That’s a Siamese fighting fish,” Razor says. “Those are highly aggressive. The males will kill one another. Females sometimes will, too. I had a buddy once tell me that if you put a mirror up to the tank that the fish will kill itself trying to fight its reflection.”
From the slight tilt of her lips, she already knows all of this and I kiss her temple. Violet picked the fish that best describes herself.
“It’s a reminder,” she whispers to me, but she’s aware Oz and Razor hear.
“Of what?” I ask.
“That there are some fights worth fighting and some fights that need to be let go. And that sometimes I need to really take a good look in the mirror before I react.”
“I need one of those fish,” Razor mumbles.
She giggles, then sighs. “Our English paper is due tomorrow.”
School. Somehow that feels a thousand miles away. So do football games and pep rallies, dances and homework. “Have you written yours?”
“Nope.”
“You two mean you can’t figure out which path to take?” Razor says teasingly.
I know what path to take, and the way Violet kisses my neck, she knows, too. It’s not the one most travelled. It’s not the one least taken. We don’t need a path when we’re confident enough to set our own course in the thick woods.
“Remember you promised me boring,” she says. “And I think we should start with blueberry pie. I like blueberry pie. I want to eat it until blueberries are running through my blood.”
“I, Chevy, do promise you, Violet, a life that is as boring as we can possibly create.”
She smiles and I’d do anything right now to have her alone, roll her under me and kiss her in very not boring ways.
Rumbles of motorcycle engines and we don’t move. Due to the arrests, guys from other chapters have been driving in all night and evening. Oz watches the yard, then he stands. “It’s them. It’s Eli and Cyrus.”
Violet hugs me and I hug her back. She’s aware, like me, that they’re going to want answers.
Violet
AFTER ELI STALKED into the cabin and saw the four of us there, he raged out of the cabin and ordered every single person to leave. It didn’t matter how long they had driven to get there. He didn’t care who had what position on the board. He didn’t care about anything. Eli came across like a man whose mental wires had crossed, causing a nuclear reactor meltdown.
Then after two hours of him stalking around the place to confirm there was nobody around, he yelled at us to go to Church and we did. All four of us scuffling over like puppies with ears back and tails between our legs.
It isn’t lost on me that this is the first time I’ve been officially invited to Church. It isn’t lost on me that I might be the very first woman to have that invitation extended. But I don’t revel in the win, at least not now. Eli’s a little too hotheaded and heading to crazy for me to do anything more than stare at the wooden table in front of me.
Eli yelled. A lot. The yelling I expected and could take. The extremely silent and intimidating stare from Cyrus unnerved me.
“Do you have any idea how much danger you were in?” This time I’m pretty sure he’s shouting just at me and not at the overall group. “I thought you were smart. I thought you had enough common sense to keep yourself alive.”
I’m not fighting back. None of us are. We went behind their backs, behind the club’s back, but not one of us regrets it.
“Why, Violet? Why would you do all this? I understand now that you didn’t feel safe. I understand that we’ve got a security problem, but why the hell didn’t you find a way to tell me? Just me?”
Eli stops yelling and I glance up from my possibly hours-long stare at the table to meet his eyes. His questions until now have been rhetorical, but from the way he’s standing with his hands on his hips and glare firmly planted on me, he wants an answer.
“Because you never would have allowed me to wear the recorder. You would have tried to find a way to fix this on your own and the only way this could work is if I did it. I want the Riot out of our lives, so I did what I had to do.”
Eli grabs hold of the chair in front of him and his knuckles turn white under his grip. “You’re damn straight I would have stopped you. I promised your father I would take care of you if anything should ever happen to him. Even if I didn’t make that promise, I still would have and will do anything to protect you. I don’t ever want you pulling bullshit like this again.”
Hopefully, I won’t have to pull bullshit like this again. “But I will...that is, if it means keeping the people I love safe. Eli...yesterday at the diner, you asked me if our relationship was worth something and I want you to know that it is. It was worth my wearing that recorder.”
Eli’s eyes snap shut, and for the first time since we entered Church, he drops into a chair. “The Riot have already started with the account numbers. The police could probably go in and arrest them now, but they want to keep handing them rope to hang themselves with. Cyrus and I have given them permission to keep doing what they’re doing. I can’t decide if I want to hug the four of you or strangle you and I’m too fucking beat to decide. All of you are staying here until I can figure out what the hell I’m going to do with my security problems.”
Eli glares at me as if he’s waiting for me to challenge him and that glare is rightfully warranted. A week ago, I would have been in his face, but I’m all angered out. “Okay.”
