Lord of Shadows
Page 99
“I remember when I met him,” Alec said. He’d found two boxes and was dumping bandages into one, jars of powder into another. “He walked out of a Portal from Idris. He was skinny and he had bruises and he had these big eyes. He was arrogant, too. He and Isabelle used to fight . . . .” He smiled at the memory. “But to me everything about him said, ‘Love me, because nobody ever has.’ It was all over him, like fingerprints.
“He was worried about meeting you,” Alec added. “He’s not used to having living blood relatives. He cared what you thought. He wanted you to like him.” He glanced over at Kit. “Here, take a box.”
Kit’s head was swimming. He thought of Jace, swaggering and amused and proud. But Alec spoke of Jace as if he saw him as a vulnerable child, someone who needed love because he’d never gotten it. “I’m no one, though,” he said, taking the box full of bandages. “Why would he care what I think? I don’t matter. I’m nothing.”
“You matter to Shadowhunters,” said Alec. “You’re a Herondale. That’ll never be nothing.”
* * *
Holding Rafe in her arms, Cristina sang softly. He was small for five years old, and his rest was fitful. He squirmed and sighed in his sleep, his small brown fingers twisted into a lock of his dark hair. He reminded her a little of her own small cousins, always wanting another hug, another sweet, another song before sleep.
Max, on the other hand, slept like a rock—a dark blue rock, with adorable big navy eyes and a gap-toothed grin. When Cristina, Mark, and Kieran had run down to find Alec, Magnus, and their two children in the Institute parlor, Evelyn had been there, fussing about warlocks in her house and the undesirability of being blue. Cristina hoped most adult Shadowhunters didn’t react to Max like that—it would be awfully traumatic for the poor little mite.
It seemed that Alec and Magnus had returned from a trip to find Diana’s messages asking them for help. They had Portaled to the London Institute immediately. On hearing about the binding spell from Mark and Cristina, Magnus had headed for the local Shadow Market to scout out a spell book he hoped might break the enchantment.
Rafe and Max, upon being left in a strange house with only one parent, had wailed. “Sleep,” Alec had said glumly to Rafe, carrying him into a spare room. “Adorno.”
Cristina giggled. “That means ‘ornament,’” she said. “Not ‘sleep.’”
Alec sighed. “I’m still learning Spanish. Magnus is the one who speaks it.”
Cristina smiled at Rafael, who was sniffling. She’d always sung her little cousins to sleep, just as her mother had with her; maybe Rafe would like that. “Oh, Rafaelito,” she said to him, oh, little Rafael baby. “Ya es hora de ir a dormir. ¿Te gustaría que te cante una canción?”
He nodded vigorously. “¡Sí!”
Cristina spent some time teaching Alec all the lullabies she knew while he held Max and she sat with Rafe. Not long after that, Magnus had Portaled back, and there had been a great deal of thumping and bumping from the library, and Alec had raced off, but Cristina had decided to stay where she was unless called on, because the ways of warlocks were mysterious and their charming boyfriends, too.
Besides, it was good to have something as harmless as a child to distract her from her anxiety. She was sure—relatively sure—that the binding spell could be undone. But it bothered her just the same: What if it couldn’t? She and Mark would be miserable forever, tied by a bond they didn’t want. And where would they go? What if he wanted to return to Faerie? She couldn’t possibly go with him.
Thoughts of Diego nagged at her too: she’d thought she would come back from Faerie to a message from him, but there had been nothing. Could someone disappear out of your life like that twice?
She sighed and leaned down to stroke Rafe’s hair, singing softly.
“Arrorró mi niño,
arrorró mi sol,
arrorró pedazo
de mi corazón.
Hush-a-bye my baby
Hush-a-bye my sun
Hush-a-bye, oh piece
of my heart.”
Alec had come in while she was singing, and was sitting on the bed beside Max, leaning against the wall.
“I’ve heard that song before.” It was Magnus, standing in the doorway. He looked tired, his cat’s eyes heavily lidded. “I can’t remember who was singing it.”
He came over and bent down to take Rafe from her. He lifted the boy in his arms, and for a moment Rafe’s head lolled against his neck. Cristina wondered if this had ever happened before: a Shadowhunter with a warlock for a parent.
“Sol solecito, caliéntame un poquito,
Por hoy, por mañana, por toda la semana,”
Magnus sang. Cristina looked at him in surprise. He had a nice singing voice, though she didn’t know the melody. Sun, little sun, warm me a little, for the noon, for the dawning, for all the week long.
“Are you all right, Magnus?” Alec asked.
“Fine, and Livvy’s fine. Healing. Should be back to normal tomorrow.” Magnus rolled his shoulders back, stretching his muscles.
“Livvy?” Cristina sat up in alarm. “What happened to Livvy?”
Alec and Magnus exchanged a look. “You didn’t tell her?” Magnus said in a low voice.
“I didn’t want to upset the kids,” said Alec, “and I thought you could reassure her better—”
Cristina scrambled to her feet. “Is Livvy hurt? Does Mark know?”
She was reassured by both Magnus and Alec that Livvy was fine and that yes, Mark did know, but she was already halfway out the door.
She bolted down the hallway toward Mark’s room. Her wrist was throbbing and aching—she’d been ignoring it, but it flared up now as she worried. Was it pain Mark was feeling, transmitted through the connection between them, the way parabatai sometimes felt each other’s agony? Or was the binding spell getting worse, more intense?
His door was half-open, light spilling out from beneath it. She found him awake inside, lying on his bed. She could see the deep indentation of the binding rune like a bracelet around his left wrist.
“Cristina?” He sat up. “Are you all right?”
“I am not the one who was hurt,” she said. “Alec and Magnus told me about Livvy.”
He drew his legs up, making room for her to sit on the blanket beside him. The sudden reduction of pain in her wrist made her feel a little dizzy.
He told her what they had done, Kit, Livvy, and Ty: about the crystal they’d found at Blackthorn Hall, their visit to the Shadow Market and how Livvy had been injured. “I cannot help but think,” he finished, “that if Julian had been here, if he hadn’t left me in charge, none of it would have happened.”
“Julian’s the one who said they could go to Blackthorn Hall. And most of us are running missions at fifteen. It’s not your fault they disobeyed.”
“I didn’t tell them not to go to the Shadow Market,” he said, shivering a little. He pulled the patchwork blanket up around his shoulders, giving him the look of a sad Harlequin.
“You didn’t tell them not to stab each other with knives, either, because they know that,” she said tartly. “The Market is off-limits. Forbidden. Although—don’t be too hard on Kit. The Shadow Market is the world he knows.”
“He was worried about meeting you,” Alec added. “He’s not used to having living blood relatives. He cared what you thought. He wanted you to like him.” He glanced over at Kit. “Here, take a box.”
Kit’s head was swimming. He thought of Jace, swaggering and amused and proud. But Alec spoke of Jace as if he saw him as a vulnerable child, someone who needed love because he’d never gotten it. “I’m no one, though,” he said, taking the box full of bandages. “Why would he care what I think? I don’t matter. I’m nothing.”
“You matter to Shadowhunters,” said Alec. “You’re a Herondale. That’ll never be nothing.”
* * *
Holding Rafe in her arms, Cristina sang softly. He was small for five years old, and his rest was fitful. He squirmed and sighed in his sleep, his small brown fingers twisted into a lock of his dark hair. He reminded her a little of her own small cousins, always wanting another hug, another sweet, another song before sleep.
Max, on the other hand, slept like a rock—a dark blue rock, with adorable big navy eyes and a gap-toothed grin. When Cristina, Mark, and Kieran had run down to find Alec, Magnus, and their two children in the Institute parlor, Evelyn had been there, fussing about warlocks in her house and the undesirability of being blue. Cristina hoped most adult Shadowhunters didn’t react to Max like that—it would be awfully traumatic for the poor little mite.
It seemed that Alec and Magnus had returned from a trip to find Diana’s messages asking them for help. They had Portaled to the London Institute immediately. On hearing about the binding spell from Mark and Cristina, Magnus had headed for the local Shadow Market to scout out a spell book he hoped might break the enchantment.
Rafe and Max, upon being left in a strange house with only one parent, had wailed. “Sleep,” Alec had said glumly to Rafe, carrying him into a spare room. “Adorno.”
Cristina giggled. “That means ‘ornament,’” she said. “Not ‘sleep.’”
Alec sighed. “I’m still learning Spanish. Magnus is the one who speaks it.”
Cristina smiled at Rafael, who was sniffling. She’d always sung her little cousins to sleep, just as her mother had with her; maybe Rafe would like that. “Oh, Rafaelito,” she said to him, oh, little Rafael baby. “Ya es hora de ir a dormir. ¿Te gustaría que te cante una canción?”
He nodded vigorously. “¡Sí!”
Cristina spent some time teaching Alec all the lullabies she knew while he held Max and she sat with Rafe. Not long after that, Magnus had Portaled back, and there had been a great deal of thumping and bumping from the library, and Alec had raced off, but Cristina had decided to stay where she was unless called on, because the ways of warlocks were mysterious and their charming boyfriends, too.
Besides, it was good to have something as harmless as a child to distract her from her anxiety. She was sure—relatively sure—that the binding spell could be undone. But it bothered her just the same: What if it couldn’t? She and Mark would be miserable forever, tied by a bond they didn’t want. And where would they go? What if he wanted to return to Faerie? She couldn’t possibly go with him.
Thoughts of Diego nagged at her too: she’d thought she would come back from Faerie to a message from him, but there had been nothing. Could someone disappear out of your life like that twice?
She sighed and leaned down to stroke Rafe’s hair, singing softly.
“Arrorró mi niño,
arrorró mi sol,
arrorró pedazo
de mi corazón.
Hush-a-bye my baby
Hush-a-bye my sun
Hush-a-bye, oh piece
of my heart.”
Alec had come in while she was singing, and was sitting on the bed beside Max, leaning against the wall.
“I’ve heard that song before.” It was Magnus, standing in the doorway. He looked tired, his cat’s eyes heavily lidded. “I can’t remember who was singing it.”
He came over and bent down to take Rafe from her. He lifted the boy in his arms, and for a moment Rafe’s head lolled against his neck. Cristina wondered if this had ever happened before: a Shadowhunter with a warlock for a parent.
“Sol solecito, caliéntame un poquito,
Por hoy, por mañana, por toda la semana,”
Magnus sang. Cristina looked at him in surprise. He had a nice singing voice, though she didn’t know the melody. Sun, little sun, warm me a little, for the noon, for the dawning, for all the week long.
“Are you all right, Magnus?” Alec asked.
“Fine, and Livvy’s fine. Healing. Should be back to normal tomorrow.” Magnus rolled his shoulders back, stretching his muscles.
“Livvy?” Cristina sat up in alarm. “What happened to Livvy?”
Alec and Magnus exchanged a look. “You didn’t tell her?” Magnus said in a low voice.
“I didn’t want to upset the kids,” said Alec, “and I thought you could reassure her better—”
Cristina scrambled to her feet. “Is Livvy hurt? Does Mark know?”
She was reassured by both Magnus and Alec that Livvy was fine and that yes, Mark did know, but she was already halfway out the door.
She bolted down the hallway toward Mark’s room. Her wrist was throbbing and aching—she’d been ignoring it, but it flared up now as she worried. Was it pain Mark was feeling, transmitted through the connection between them, the way parabatai sometimes felt each other’s agony? Or was the binding spell getting worse, more intense?
His door was half-open, light spilling out from beneath it. She found him awake inside, lying on his bed. She could see the deep indentation of the binding rune like a bracelet around his left wrist.
“Cristina?” He sat up. “Are you all right?”
“I am not the one who was hurt,” she said. “Alec and Magnus told me about Livvy.”
He drew his legs up, making room for her to sit on the blanket beside him. The sudden reduction of pain in her wrist made her feel a little dizzy.
He told her what they had done, Kit, Livvy, and Ty: about the crystal they’d found at Blackthorn Hall, their visit to the Shadow Market and how Livvy had been injured. “I cannot help but think,” he finished, “that if Julian had been here, if he hadn’t left me in charge, none of it would have happened.”
“Julian’s the one who said they could go to Blackthorn Hall. And most of us are running missions at fifteen. It’s not your fault they disobeyed.”
“I didn’t tell them not to go to the Shadow Market,” he said, shivering a little. He pulled the patchwork blanket up around his shoulders, giving him the look of a sad Harlequin.
“You didn’t tell them not to stab each other with knives, either, because they know that,” she said tartly. “The Market is off-limits. Forbidden. Although—don’t be too hard on Kit. The Shadow Market is the world he knows.”
