Lord of the Fading Lands
Page 97
Ellie could feel his anger building with every word. "Rain ..
He caught himself and drew a deep breath. As he exhaled, she could almost sense him forcibly expelling his rage. "Sieks'ta," he apologized. "Let's not talk of the Eld. I can never speak of them without hatred welling up within me." He turned away and walked closer to the edge of the steep hill. The ocean breeze blew his hair back from his face as he stood there, looking out over the dark, shining waters of the bay. "No matter who sponsored the attack, it will be a long time before I forgive myself for underestimating my enemies. I was too arrogant, too confident in my own abilities to protect you. I failed you.”
Her heart contracted. She went to him, reaching out to grasp his arm. "You didn't fail me, Rain. You saved my life.”
He glanced down at the pale hand gripping his arm and gently removed it. "Nei, shei'tani. Your heart is kind, but do not try to weave peace on me. I deserve my guilt. I may have saved your life this time, but only because I got lucky." Her fingers curled around his, holding him when he would have pulled away. "Luck springs from the hands of the gods," she reminded him. "Even if that was what saved me, it only proves the gods don't want you to fail. You should be thanking them for their blessing, not railing against it.”
Silence fell between them. A wolf pack howled in the distance, and down below, a flock of seabirds squawked and took to startled flight at the sound.
"I do thank them, Ellysetta," Rain said quietly. "More than I thought would ever be possible for me again. But I cannot rely on their grace. I know better than most how unkind the gods can be to those who do not prove worthy of their gifts.”
"Oh, Rain." Through the clasp of her hand around his, she could feel the echo of raw grief, the memory of a loss so devastating it had driven him to scorch the world. "Do you think Sariel would want you to carry the blame for her death? Everyone in the world knows how much you both loved each other, and you yourself told me how kind and gentle she was. Surely she wouldn't want you to torment yourself over things you cannot change.”
"Nei," he agreed, "but she was always too quick to forgive." He drew in a short breath and squared his shoulders, already tucking the old, painful emotions back under careful guard, hiding them from her. "And I did not bring you here to discuss my ancient grief or guilt." He turned to her and took both of her hands in his, lifting her fingers to his lips. "I meant to give us a few quiet bells together away from the pressures of the city. Somewhere quiet and peaceful where we could simply … be … together. Somewhere I could hold you without an audience." The corner of his mouth curved up. "Perhaps share another kiss or two, if you were willing.”
She wanted to protest the change of subject. His grief, his guilt, was a festering wound inside him, and it needed to be purged. Respect for his pride kept her silent. Battered and bruised, but still fighting for dominance, his was not the selfish, petty pride that made bullies of lesser men, but rather the quiet, determined dignity that turned men into heroes and made heroes crawl back to their feet from the bitter dust of defeat and stand tall once more. She dare not take that from him. She remembered what lay beneath his carefully constructed discipline: the screaming torment, the endless barrage of accusing voices.
She stepped closer and lifted her hands to frame his face. "Then hold me, Rain, and kiss me, for I want the same things.”
Emotions chased across her senses: humility, sorrow, gratitude, devotion. His fingers brushed back spiraling tendrils of hair from her face. "You are more than I deserve, shei'tani.”
He bent his head and took her lips in a tender kiss. Sweet, gentle, barely more than a brush of his lips against hers, tiny nibbles along her lower lip, a caress of fingertips across her skin, light as mist. His lips started to move away, but she turned her head, following, wanting. Her hands caught his face more firmly, holding him still. She rose up on her toes, her mouth seeking his, asking for the passion he'd shown her before.
He rewarded her boldness. His fingers delved deep into the heavy mass of her hair. His head dove down and his lips claimed hers with fierce and sudden hunger. Need rolled over her senses in hot, heavy waves. His arms slid round her waist and tightened, pulling her hard against him. She felt the crush of his knives, the hard, lean strength of his body.
Then he pulled back, leaving her hands grasping empty air and her brows tightening in a bereft frown. She opened her eyes and saw the long fall of his dark hair streaming down the equally dark expanse of black leather covering his back. He was walking away. "Rain?”
He cast a glance over his shoulder. His eyes were glowing, his skin luminous, and his expression potently male. "Patience, Ellysetta. There's no need to rush.”
Tiny explosions of heat fired all across her body, leaving her knees weak and her breathing shallow He waved a hand. Magic flowed from his fingers in a sparkling stream. A thick blanket unfurled in the center of the clearing and a myriad of tiny lights floated out to flicker in the grass and surrounding trees, lending the meadow a verdant, magical quality, as if Ellysetta and Rain were standing not on a hilltop in the mortal land of Celieria but in an enchanted glade, deep in the misty wonders of Elvia or the Fading Lands. She stared around them, mouth open, passion momentarily forgotten as the power and beauty of his magic enthralled her senses. She could not tell what was real and what was illusion.
"Come, shei'tani, sit here beside me" He drew her down onto the blanket and joined her, his long legs folding gracefully beneath him as he sat.
He caught himself and drew a deep breath. As he exhaled, she could almost sense him forcibly expelling his rage. "Sieks'ta," he apologized. "Let's not talk of the Eld. I can never speak of them without hatred welling up within me." He turned away and walked closer to the edge of the steep hill. The ocean breeze blew his hair back from his face as he stood there, looking out over the dark, shining waters of the bay. "No matter who sponsored the attack, it will be a long time before I forgive myself for underestimating my enemies. I was too arrogant, too confident in my own abilities to protect you. I failed you.”
Her heart contracted. She went to him, reaching out to grasp his arm. "You didn't fail me, Rain. You saved my life.”
He glanced down at the pale hand gripping his arm and gently removed it. "Nei, shei'tani. Your heart is kind, but do not try to weave peace on me. I deserve my guilt. I may have saved your life this time, but only because I got lucky." Her fingers curled around his, holding him when he would have pulled away. "Luck springs from the hands of the gods," she reminded him. "Even if that was what saved me, it only proves the gods don't want you to fail. You should be thanking them for their blessing, not railing against it.”
Silence fell between them. A wolf pack howled in the distance, and down below, a flock of seabirds squawked and took to startled flight at the sound.
"I do thank them, Ellysetta," Rain said quietly. "More than I thought would ever be possible for me again. But I cannot rely on their grace. I know better than most how unkind the gods can be to those who do not prove worthy of their gifts.”
"Oh, Rain." Through the clasp of her hand around his, she could feel the echo of raw grief, the memory of a loss so devastating it had driven him to scorch the world. "Do you think Sariel would want you to carry the blame for her death? Everyone in the world knows how much you both loved each other, and you yourself told me how kind and gentle she was. Surely she wouldn't want you to torment yourself over things you cannot change.”
"Nei," he agreed, "but she was always too quick to forgive." He drew in a short breath and squared his shoulders, already tucking the old, painful emotions back under careful guard, hiding them from her. "And I did not bring you here to discuss my ancient grief or guilt." He turned to her and took both of her hands in his, lifting her fingers to his lips. "I meant to give us a few quiet bells together away from the pressures of the city. Somewhere quiet and peaceful where we could simply … be … together. Somewhere I could hold you without an audience." The corner of his mouth curved up. "Perhaps share another kiss or two, if you were willing.”
She wanted to protest the change of subject. His grief, his guilt, was a festering wound inside him, and it needed to be purged. Respect for his pride kept her silent. Battered and bruised, but still fighting for dominance, his was not the selfish, petty pride that made bullies of lesser men, but rather the quiet, determined dignity that turned men into heroes and made heroes crawl back to their feet from the bitter dust of defeat and stand tall once more. She dare not take that from him. She remembered what lay beneath his carefully constructed discipline: the screaming torment, the endless barrage of accusing voices.
She stepped closer and lifted her hands to frame his face. "Then hold me, Rain, and kiss me, for I want the same things.”
Emotions chased across her senses: humility, sorrow, gratitude, devotion. His fingers brushed back spiraling tendrils of hair from her face. "You are more than I deserve, shei'tani.”
He bent his head and took her lips in a tender kiss. Sweet, gentle, barely more than a brush of his lips against hers, tiny nibbles along her lower lip, a caress of fingertips across her skin, light as mist. His lips started to move away, but she turned her head, following, wanting. Her hands caught his face more firmly, holding him still. She rose up on her toes, her mouth seeking his, asking for the passion he'd shown her before.
He rewarded her boldness. His fingers delved deep into the heavy mass of her hair. His head dove down and his lips claimed hers with fierce and sudden hunger. Need rolled over her senses in hot, heavy waves. His arms slid round her waist and tightened, pulling her hard against him. She felt the crush of his knives, the hard, lean strength of his body.
Then he pulled back, leaving her hands grasping empty air and her brows tightening in a bereft frown. She opened her eyes and saw the long fall of his dark hair streaming down the equally dark expanse of black leather covering his back. He was walking away. "Rain?”
He cast a glance over his shoulder. His eyes were glowing, his skin luminous, and his expression potently male. "Patience, Ellysetta. There's no need to rush.”
Tiny explosions of heat fired all across her body, leaving her knees weak and her breathing shallow He waved a hand. Magic flowed from his fingers in a sparkling stream. A thick blanket unfurled in the center of the clearing and a myriad of tiny lights floated out to flicker in the grass and surrounding trees, lending the meadow a verdant, magical quality, as if Ellysetta and Rain were standing not on a hilltop in the mortal land of Celieria but in an enchanted glade, deep in the misty wonders of Elvia or the Fading Lands. She stared around them, mouth open, passion momentarily forgotten as the power and beauty of his magic enthralled her senses. She could not tell what was real and what was illusion.
"Come, shei'tani, sit here beside me" He drew her down onto the blanket and joined her, his long legs folding gracefully beneath him as he sat.
