Lorn
Page 42
“You don’t know that for sure.”
He pulled her closer, enjoying the way she felt in his arms. “I’m certain. I would have mated you. I might have tried to deny it to myself and everyone else, but deep down, I’ve always known you were mine.”
Her eyes widened.
“You’re my true mate, Kira. We formed a bond when we were kids and it just grew stronger every year. By the time I hit puberty…let’s just say it involved you every time I thought about sex.”
“I wouldn’t say every time.” She looked away.
Regret became a bitter pill to swallow. He knew how she felt. He still wanted to track down the human who’d taken her virginity and make him die a slow, painful death. Jealousy and rage burned bright. “Every time,” he confessed. “Don’t make me expand on that.”
Her curiosity was easy to read. “How—”
“Don’t ask. It makes me come out looking like an asshole…but I did it to protect you. It never meant anything when I went into heat, other than my body needed sex. I couldn’t have you even though you were all I wanted. I kept you safe from everyone, but I was the biggest threat.”
“You’d never hurt me.”
“Being with me would have gotten you killed. It was never fair or right but that would’ve been the price if I’d ever given in to what I wanted most. I did everything I could to keep that from happening. We could never have been just lovers.”
“But—”
“I made a deal with my father when Decker decided to have you killed. Davis had something on him at one point, but whatever it was, it didn’t last for long.”
“What?”
“Decker can be accused of being a lot of things, but compassionate is not one of them. He’s killed children born to this clan who ended up with dominant Vampire traits. Didn’t you ever wonder why he allowed you to live when your father returned with a mostly human infant? Your father had leverage of some sort over him to keep you alive.
“Years later, something changed, and Decker wanted to kill you. He had poisoned everyone in this clan against anything human or mostly Vampire. He only tolerates the GarLycans because he has use for them. I overheard my father and Decker discussing how they’d probably have to kill Davis to remove you from the clan. Your father would never just hand you over without a fight to the death. As soon as Decker left, I went to my dad. I begged him to change his mind but he thought it would be a great way to rid you from my life. I was infuriated. I threatened to attack anyone who came near you, and said he’d have to kill me too. He looked so surprised…”
Bitterness and anger waged inside Lorn. He gazed into Kira’s eyes. Her mouth opened but he spoke before she could.
“Then he got that look that I hate.”
“What look?”
“Calculating and cold. I’d told him I’d fight to the death to protect you. I don’t think the stupid bastard saw that coming. He should have. He realized he could use you against me at that point. He said he’d find a way to keep you alive as long as I kept my hands off you. He swore that if he ever suspected I was seeing you behind his back, that he’d let Decker take you out. I never promised I wouldn’t stop looking out for you. We fought over it plenty of times. He used you against me whenever he could. He still does.”
“I didn’t know.”
“I didn’t want you to. You probably would have tried to talk me into standing up to him, not realizing how fatal that would be for you. You’ve always been gutsy, Kira. I probably shouldn’t even be telling you this now but you deserve to know the truth. All of it. He didn’t want to lose his precious first son. Lavos is an excellent fighter but I’m better. I’m also meaner. My father respects that. He needs me.”
Kira nodded. “You’re his son. I’m sure he loves you.”
“I’m sure he does in his own twisted way, but he’s not like your father. I see the way Davis is with you. I never had that, Kira. Ever. Your father shows his love openly and he’d never use you as a pawn in some political game. My father has groomed me since birth to take over the clan.”
“Seriously?”
“Do you think he really respects Decker? I don’t. I suspect he wanted to take control of the clan when it formed, but he knew he’d die in a challenge. He’s been biding his time, waiting for the right moment to use me ever since I hit my teens. He admitted Decker even saw me as a threat. I’m stronger than both of them. I think he plans to take over the clan one day, and wants to use me to do it. My guess is he’s plotting to manipulate me into challenging anyone he can’t take in a fight—then killing me so he can rule.”
“Lorn!” She appeared horrified.
“It’s okay. I’ve always known how shrewd he is.” He hugged her tighter. “He’s not the only one who can make plans and be sneaky. I learned from the best. I was willing to pretend ignorance as long as it kept you safe. Hell, I always hoped once he decided to use me, that I could flip it on him somehow. Use his greed against him to get what I wanted.”
“What is that?”
“You.”
She reached up and caressed his arm. “Really?”
“I planned to confront him head on. I thought I’d use you against him for once. Not in a bad way. That sounds terrible but it isn’t.”
“How?”
“I’d agree to willingly put him in power if I could mate whoever I wanted. He’d have the clan and I’d finally be able to see if I could get you to forgive me. I thought you must hate me after I walked away from you when we were teens. I knew I hurt you. I never meant to.”
“I understand that now.”
“Then Lavos said he met his true mate.” He couldn’t let all that anger go over Lavos’s lie but managed to mute the growl. “It screwed up everything. Dad informed me he’d sent for the woman I would mate. That’s what I’d planned to talk to you about when I realized you felt something for me. My father might have been able to force me to accept her into my home, but I wouldn’t have claimed her. I wanted you to know the truth but there were too many people around that night to make sure no one overheard our conversation. I didn’t want to lose you for good. I was going to ask you to consider waiting for me, until I could make our mating possible. I had no intention of ever taking her to my bed. I knew it was a long shot after all the years I stayed away, but—”
He pulled her closer, enjoying the way she felt in his arms. “I’m certain. I would have mated you. I might have tried to deny it to myself and everyone else, but deep down, I’ve always known you were mine.”
Her eyes widened.
“You’re my true mate, Kira. We formed a bond when we were kids and it just grew stronger every year. By the time I hit puberty…let’s just say it involved you every time I thought about sex.”
“I wouldn’t say every time.” She looked away.
Regret became a bitter pill to swallow. He knew how she felt. He still wanted to track down the human who’d taken her virginity and make him die a slow, painful death. Jealousy and rage burned bright. “Every time,” he confessed. “Don’t make me expand on that.”
Her curiosity was easy to read. “How—”
“Don’t ask. It makes me come out looking like an asshole…but I did it to protect you. It never meant anything when I went into heat, other than my body needed sex. I couldn’t have you even though you were all I wanted. I kept you safe from everyone, but I was the biggest threat.”
“You’d never hurt me.”
“Being with me would have gotten you killed. It was never fair or right but that would’ve been the price if I’d ever given in to what I wanted most. I did everything I could to keep that from happening. We could never have been just lovers.”
“But—”
“I made a deal with my father when Decker decided to have you killed. Davis had something on him at one point, but whatever it was, it didn’t last for long.”
“What?”
“Decker can be accused of being a lot of things, but compassionate is not one of them. He’s killed children born to this clan who ended up with dominant Vampire traits. Didn’t you ever wonder why he allowed you to live when your father returned with a mostly human infant? Your father had leverage of some sort over him to keep you alive.
“Years later, something changed, and Decker wanted to kill you. He had poisoned everyone in this clan against anything human or mostly Vampire. He only tolerates the GarLycans because he has use for them. I overheard my father and Decker discussing how they’d probably have to kill Davis to remove you from the clan. Your father would never just hand you over without a fight to the death. As soon as Decker left, I went to my dad. I begged him to change his mind but he thought it would be a great way to rid you from my life. I was infuriated. I threatened to attack anyone who came near you, and said he’d have to kill me too. He looked so surprised…”
Bitterness and anger waged inside Lorn. He gazed into Kira’s eyes. Her mouth opened but he spoke before she could.
“Then he got that look that I hate.”
“What look?”
“Calculating and cold. I’d told him I’d fight to the death to protect you. I don’t think the stupid bastard saw that coming. He should have. He realized he could use you against me at that point. He said he’d find a way to keep you alive as long as I kept my hands off you. He swore that if he ever suspected I was seeing you behind his back, that he’d let Decker take you out. I never promised I wouldn’t stop looking out for you. We fought over it plenty of times. He used you against me whenever he could. He still does.”
“I didn’t know.”
“I didn’t want you to. You probably would have tried to talk me into standing up to him, not realizing how fatal that would be for you. You’ve always been gutsy, Kira. I probably shouldn’t even be telling you this now but you deserve to know the truth. All of it. He didn’t want to lose his precious first son. Lavos is an excellent fighter but I’m better. I’m also meaner. My father respects that. He needs me.”
Kira nodded. “You’re his son. I’m sure he loves you.”
“I’m sure he does in his own twisted way, but he’s not like your father. I see the way Davis is with you. I never had that, Kira. Ever. Your father shows his love openly and he’d never use you as a pawn in some political game. My father has groomed me since birth to take over the clan.”
“Seriously?”
“Do you think he really respects Decker? I don’t. I suspect he wanted to take control of the clan when it formed, but he knew he’d die in a challenge. He’s been biding his time, waiting for the right moment to use me ever since I hit my teens. He admitted Decker even saw me as a threat. I’m stronger than both of them. I think he plans to take over the clan one day, and wants to use me to do it. My guess is he’s plotting to manipulate me into challenging anyone he can’t take in a fight—then killing me so he can rule.”
“Lorn!” She appeared horrified.
“It’s okay. I’ve always known how shrewd he is.” He hugged her tighter. “He’s not the only one who can make plans and be sneaky. I learned from the best. I was willing to pretend ignorance as long as it kept you safe. Hell, I always hoped once he decided to use me, that I could flip it on him somehow. Use his greed against him to get what I wanted.”
“What is that?”
“You.”
She reached up and caressed his arm. “Really?”
“I planned to confront him head on. I thought I’d use you against him for once. Not in a bad way. That sounds terrible but it isn’t.”
“How?”
“I’d agree to willingly put him in power if I could mate whoever I wanted. He’d have the clan and I’d finally be able to see if I could get you to forgive me. I thought you must hate me after I walked away from you when we were teens. I knew I hurt you. I never meant to.”
“I understand that now.”
“Then Lavos said he met his true mate.” He couldn’t let all that anger go over Lavos’s lie but managed to mute the growl. “It screwed up everything. Dad informed me he’d sent for the woman I would mate. That’s what I’d planned to talk to you about when I realized you felt something for me. My father might have been able to force me to accept her into my home, but I wouldn’t have claimed her. I wanted you to know the truth but there were too many people around that night to make sure no one overheard our conversation. I didn’t want to lose you for good. I was going to ask you to consider waiting for me, until I could make our mating possible. I had no intention of ever taking her to my bed. I knew it was a long shot after all the years I stayed away, but—”
