Lost & Found
Page 32
Could guilt literally eat you up and kill you?
Darcy slipped the key card into the door and let herself into the room. She quickly changed out of her dress and pulled her hair back.
She turned on the TV and sat there mindlessly listening to the show that came on.
The thought crossed her mind. Ed Keller was in love with her.
She let out a breath. How crazy was that? This man—this powerful man—was in love with her. And if she was being honest with herself, which she decided she finally would be, she loved him.
She had to come clean. She had to tell him what she’d come to Tennessee for. If he decided she was deceitful and full of lies, he could send her packing. She could go back to Nashville and pack up her things. She could be back in Kentucky by the end of the week, and it would be as though nothing had transpired.
If she felt the way she thought she did about Ed Keller, she owed him that. The charade was over.
Ed had just turned off the light when the pounding started on his door. He jumped out of bed, in only his boxers, and flung himself at the door.
There stood Darcy, in her pajamas with her hair pulled back. Her face was pale, and her teeth chattered as if she were freezing.
“Are you okay?” He pulled her in. “What on earth is wrong?”
“I have to come clean. I have to tell you what I’ve done.”
Ed led her to the couch and sat her down. He went to the mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of water and twisted off the top before handing it to her.
“Calm down.”
She took a sip as he sat down next to her.
Darcy sucked in a ragged breath and turned to look at him. “I didn’t mean to run into you at Starbucks and spill my drink. I didn’t know who you were. I swear.”
Ed nodded. “I know that.”
“Working in the firm wasn’t in my plan for months. I’m not kidding. I thought I’d get there, but not like this.”
“Things happen. It’s okay.” He had no idea what she was going on about, but she was shaking. “Darcy, what is this all about? I gave you the job because you were qualified.”
She shook her head and took another sip of the water.
“I hired a private investigator to help me find my birth parents.”
“And they found them?”
She bit down on her lip. “I couldn’t afford much. But he was able to tell me that it would lead me to Benson, Benson, and Hart.”
Ed narrowed his brows. “Who would be there?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. But,” she dropped her shoulders and let out a breath, “I met someone who dug through some of the old files for me.”
He stood and paced, not even caring that he was in his underwear. “Someone in my company helped you search for your birth parents?”
Darcy nodded.
He ran his fingers through his hair. “Who?”
“I’m not going to tell you that. It wasn’t their fault. I convinced them to look. Please don’t get mad.”
“So all of this—us—this is just a sham to you to find your birth parents?”
“No.” Darcy stood. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I didn’t mean to involve you at all.”
“But it wouldn’t have mattered if I hadn’t fallen in love with you?”
She opened her mouth and then closed it again.
Ed rubbed the tension from his neck. “Did you find what you were looking for?”
“No,” she said softly and looked at the ground. “I thought I knew, but I was wrong. I didn’t find anything.”
He nodded and then rested his hands on his hips, unsure what to do with them since he wasn’t dressed. “Why are you telling me this? Why now?”
“Because I couldn’t deceive you anymore. It was what drove me to Tennessee. And even when you left to come here, I thought I could get Curtis to help me find out about my birth mother from the hospital. But now it all seems wrong.”
“Oh, you think?”
“Ed,” she moved to him, but stopped short of reaching him. “That’s why I’m here. I can’t be in love with you and have lied to you.”
“Now you’re saying you’re in love with me.”
“I knew that I was in love with you. It’s not that I didn’t trust you.” She looked down at the ground. “I didn’t trust me.”
He took the bottle of water from her and took a sip. His throat had suddenly gone very dry.
“Why would someone tell you that the path to your birth parents ended with BBH?”
“I don’t know. That’s all he told me. For all I know, he might have taken my money and found the company in some directory somewhere. But I can’t go any further in this relationship without you knowing the truth. Until the moment you told me who you were, I honestly didn’t know. I didn’t seek you out to deceive you. I was only trying to find out who I was.”
Ed set the bottle down on the coffee table and turned to her. He took her hands in his and looked her in the eye.
“You don’t have to find those people to validate who you are. Maybe your mother and father had a reason for not telling you who gave you to them. Did you ever think they were protecting you from something?”
Her lip began to tremble. “No.”
“Well, maybe you should trust them. It doesn’t look like they made any mistakes with you, so why go searching? Why bother?”
Tears were forming in her eyes and threatening to fall. She tried to bat them away, but there were too many and they began to fall.
“Please tell me you don’t hate me. Please tell me you forgive me.” She sniffed back her tears. “I’ll leave. I’ll go forever if that’s what you want. But I needed you to know the truth, and now you do.”
Ed kept his grip on her hands. He was furious that she’d go behind his back and search the company files. Even if he understood it, he didn’t accept that. But everyone made mistakes.
What would he think if he were in her shoes? If he found out Madeline and Carlos Keller were not his parents, how would he feel?
He knew exactly how he’d feel—betrayed, just as Darcy felt.
“I’m very upset about this,” he said. “I wish you’d just been honest with me. I would have helped you.”
“I’m sorry.”
Darcy slipped the key card into the door and let herself into the room. She quickly changed out of her dress and pulled her hair back.
She turned on the TV and sat there mindlessly listening to the show that came on.
The thought crossed her mind. Ed Keller was in love with her.
She let out a breath. How crazy was that? This man—this powerful man—was in love with her. And if she was being honest with herself, which she decided she finally would be, she loved him.
She had to come clean. She had to tell him what she’d come to Tennessee for. If he decided she was deceitful and full of lies, he could send her packing. She could go back to Nashville and pack up her things. She could be back in Kentucky by the end of the week, and it would be as though nothing had transpired.
If she felt the way she thought she did about Ed Keller, she owed him that. The charade was over.
Ed had just turned off the light when the pounding started on his door. He jumped out of bed, in only his boxers, and flung himself at the door.
There stood Darcy, in her pajamas with her hair pulled back. Her face was pale, and her teeth chattered as if she were freezing.
“Are you okay?” He pulled her in. “What on earth is wrong?”
“I have to come clean. I have to tell you what I’ve done.”
Ed led her to the couch and sat her down. He went to the mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of water and twisted off the top before handing it to her.
“Calm down.”
She took a sip as he sat down next to her.
Darcy sucked in a ragged breath and turned to look at him. “I didn’t mean to run into you at Starbucks and spill my drink. I didn’t know who you were. I swear.”
Ed nodded. “I know that.”
“Working in the firm wasn’t in my plan for months. I’m not kidding. I thought I’d get there, but not like this.”
“Things happen. It’s okay.” He had no idea what she was going on about, but she was shaking. “Darcy, what is this all about? I gave you the job because you were qualified.”
She shook her head and took another sip of the water.
“I hired a private investigator to help me find my birth parents.”
“And they found them?”
She bit down on her lip. “I couldn’t afford much. But he was able to tell me that it would lead me to Benson, Benson, and Hart.”
Ed narrowed his brows. “Who would be there?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. But,” she dropped her shoulders and let out a breath, “I met someone who dug through some of the old files for me.”
He stood and paced, not even caring that he was in his underwear. “Someone in my company helped you search for your birth parents?”
Darcy nodded.
He ran his fingers through his hair. “Who?”
“I’m not going to tell you that. It wasn’t their fault. I convinced them to look. Please don’t get mad.”
“So all of this—us—this is just a sham to you to find your birth parents?”
“No.” Darcy stood. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I didn’t mean to involve you at all.”
“But it wouldn’t have mattered if I hadn’t fallen in love with you?”
She opened her mouth and then closed it again.
Ed rubbed the tension from his neck. “Did you find what you were looking for?”
“No,” she said softly and looked at the ground. “I thought I knew, but I was wrong. I didn’t find anything.”
He nodded and then rested his hands on his hips, unsure what to do with them since he wasn’t dressed. “Why are you telling me this? Why now?”
“Because I couldn’t deceive you anymore. It was what drove me to Tennessee. And even when you left to come here, I thought I could get Curtis to help me find out about my birth mother from the hospital. But now it all seems wrong.”
“Oh, you think?”
“Ed,” she moved to him, but stopped short of reaching him. “That’s why I’m here. I can’t be in love with you and have lied to you.”
“Now you’re saying you’re in love with me.”
“I knew that I was in love with you. It’s not that I didn’t trust you.” She looked down at the ground. “I didn’t trust me.”
He took the bottle of water from her and took a sip. His throat had suddenly gone very dry.
“Why would someone tell you that the path to your birth parents ended with BBH?”
“I don’t know. That’s all he told me. For all I know, he might have taken my money and found the company in some directory somewhere. But I can’t go any further in this relationship without you knowing the truth. Until the moment you told me who you were, I honestly didn’t know. I didn’t seek you out to deceive you. I was only trying to find out who I was.”
Ed set the bottle down on the coffee table and turned to her. He took her hands in his and looked her in the eye.
“You don’t have to find those people to validate who you are. Maybe your mother and father had a reason for not telling you who gave you to them. Did you ever think they were protecting you from something?”
Her lip began to tremble. “No.”
“Well, maybe you should trust them. It doesn’t look like they made any mistakes with you, so why go searching? Why bother?”
Tears were forming in her eyes and threatening to fall. She tried to bat them away, but there were too many and they began to fall.
“Please tell me you don’t hate me. Please tell me you forgive me.” She sniffed back her tears. “I’ll leave. I’ll go forever if that’s what you want. But I needed you to know the truth, and now you do.”
Ed kept his grip on her hands. He was furious that she’d go behind his back and search the company files. Even if he understood it, he didn’t accept that. But everyone made mistakes.
What would he think if he were in her shoes? If he found out Madeline and Carlos Keller were not his parents, how would he feel?
He knew exactly how he’d feel—betrayed, just as Darcy felt.
“I’m very upset about this,” he said. “I wish you’d just been honest with me. I would have helped you.”
“I’m sorry.”
