Lost in You
Page 43
“You’re not going to work. You have people to help you. Accept that help and get some rest. Jacob told me the garage was fully staffed for the rest of the weekend without you. I’ll take Buck for the day. Just get some sleep and come get him when you’re ready.”
He sighed, wanting her so bad his skin itched. Buck didn’t do his usual dance at the sight of her, he was too linked with Joe’s emotional mood to do that. But he did come over, tail wagging.
“We’re broken up. I can handle my f**king dog.”
She narrowed her eyes at him for a moment. “I’m sure you can. Don’t use the F word around him. He’s sensitive. Call me when you’re ready. I’ve got a bowl and stuff at my place.” She looked to Buck. “Come on then, Mr. Buck. We’re having a play date.”
And then she stole his dog!
He watched her go, watched her get Buck into her car and go around to the driver’s side. She turned back to him. “I’m not going anywhere far.” She meant with the dog, but he knew she meant in general too. And though he couldn’t afford to be comforted by it. He was anyway. “Get some sleep. You know where to find me when you’re ready.”
He went back inside and stood, back against the door for so long he just slid down and sat, staring into nothingness.
Christ. He should be angry with her for dealing with his staff. But he couldn’t be. All he could do was remember the way her face fell when he’d broken up with her. And yet, she’d been there, offering to take Buck so he could sleep without noise and distractions.
He looked at his hands. Abrasions on his knuckles. Middle finger splinted. He’d taken his mother home after sitting at her side all night long. His father had been heavily sedated so at least his yelling had stopped.
His mother seemed totally deflated. She was cried out. Had wrung her hands and blamed herself a thousand times. She’d been watching him that night. His dad was supposed to have been watching the game. She’d left the room and when she returned with snacks, he was gone.
She’d gone glassy eyed. Leaning on Joe to make the decisions and choices. She’d lost hope and he didn’t blame her. The hope they’d felt as his father had assented to the treatment had been so wonderful after all the worry and upset. The bitterness that it not only hadn’t worked, but the spectacular, public failure lay on his tongue, in his heart.
His mother was a simple woman. Not stupid. Certainly not naïve. But simple. She came from a world where if you were sick you took a pill and got better. Right then he didn’t know what was next. He didn’t even have the strength to imagine it just yet.
With a heavy sigh, he made himself stand. He needed a shower and at least four hours’ sleep. First though, he needed to check in with his staff. He believed Beth and he trusted Jacob, but it was his business after all.
Chapter Thirteen
Joe ended up sleeping seven hours. Like a stone. What had eventually woken him up was a call from his sister, checking in and mightily apologetic for waking him up.
He filled her in with what he knew. Which wasn’t a lot. Dissuaded her from coming down. There was nothing she could do, and it didn’t seem to him like it would help to disrupt the kids’ school and activity schedule. Not then in any case.
He called the hospital to check in. He wouldn’t be allowed in to see his dad, even if he’d wanted visitors. His mother was staying with her sister in Riverton, which filled Joe with a sense of guilty relief. One less thing to be responsible for.
He shuffled into his kitchen, realizing his pantry was empty. He’d order a pizza or something. But first he needed to collect Buck.
He tried not to look closely at his phone, with Beth’s picture smiling up at him. He needed to delete that, but he didn’t want to right then.
She answered, laughing, Buck yipping in the background. “Why aren’t you resting?”
“I slept seven hours. I’m good. I can come get Buck. I’ve got to get groceries anyway.”
“I’ll bring him over in twenty minutes.” She hung up.
He didn’t want her in his apartment. He wanted a big moat around his life to keep her out. It was too hard otherwise.
But she was stubborn. He smiled, even though it wasn’t wise. He was too tired not to.
He opened to her knock and Buck barked up at him once as he came inside.
“Thank you. For taking him today.”
She breezed past where he’d been attempting to block her from coming inside. She headed into the kitchen where she put the bags she’d been holding up on the counter.
“Beth…”
“Be quiet. I’m making you some food.”
“You need to leave. Damn it. We’re not together anymore. I don’t need you to make me food. I can cook.”
She sighed, moved to him, led him to a chair at the table and pushed him into it. “You. Sit. I’m going to make you a meal and you’re going to appreciate it. You will not tell me you broke up with me. I was there.”
He frowned, but she simply ignored him and went back to work.
“My father is an alcoholic.” She said this matter of fact as she began to get out pots and pans. “I never really realized other people’s dads weren’t like mine until I got to third grade or so. Sometimes someone’s daddy would come on a field trip or to some lunchtime performance. It became really clear to me then. Like, oh, so it’s just him. Or maybe it’s me.”
She chopped and set something that smelled really good on the stove and began to cook. “The trailer we grew up in had two bedrooms. Eight kids and two bedrooms. You can imagine what that was like I’m sure. Or maybe not. I hope not, actually. Anyway, it was pretty much impossible to hide from him when he got angry. Unless you just left. Which I did as much as I could. Lily’s parents had me stay over a lot. That’s where I learned that normal kids didn’t sleep under their beds to hide from dad when he got so drunk he needed to hurt someone just to ease himself.”
He sighed, wanting her so bad his skin itched. Buck didn’t do his usual dance at the sight of her, he was too linked with Joe’s emotional mood to do that. But he did come over, tail wagging.
“We’re broken up. I can handle my f**king dog.”
She narrowed her eyes at him for a moment. “I’m sure you can. Don’t use the F word around him. He’s sensitive. Call me when you’re ready. I’ve got a bowl and stuff at my place.” She looked to Buck. “Come on then, Mr. Buck. We’re having a play date.”
And then she stole his dog!
He watched her go, watched her get Buck into her car and go around to the driver’s side. She turned back to him. “I’m not going anywhere far.” She meant with the dog, but he knew she meant in general too. And though he couldn’t afford to be comforted by it. He was anyway. “Get some sleep. You know where to find me when you’re ready.”
He went back inside and stood, back against the door for so long he just slid down and sat, staring into nothingness.
Christ. He should be angry with her for dealing with his staff. But he couldn’t be. All he could do was remember the way her face fell when he’d broken up with her. And yet, she’d been there, offering to take Buck so he could sleep without noise and distractions.
He looked at his hands. Abrasions on his knuckles. Middle finger splinted. He’d taken his mother home after sitting at her side all night long. His father had been heavily sedated so at least his yelling had stopped.
His mother seemed totally deflated. She was cried out. Had wrung her hands and blamed herself a thousand times. She’d been watching him that night. His dad was supposed to have been watching the game. She’d left the room and when she returned with snacks, he was gone.
She’d gone glassy eyed. Leaning on Joe to make the decisions and choices. She’d lost hope and he didn’t blame her. The hope they’d felt as his father had assented to the treatment had been so wonderful after all the worry and upset. The bitterness that it not only hadn’t worked, but the spectacular, public failure lay on his tongue, in his heart.
His mother was a simple woman. Not stupid. Certainly not naïve. But simple. She came from a world where if you were sick you took a pill and got better. Right then he didn’t know what was next. He didn’t even have the strength to imagine it just yet.
With a heavy sigh, he made himself stand. He needed a shower and at least four hours’ sleep. First though, he needed to check in with his staff. He believed Beth and he trusted Jacob, but it was his business after all.
Chapter Thirteen
Joe ended up sleeping seven hours. Like a stone. What had eventually woken him up was a call from his sister, checking in and mightily apologetic for waking him up.
He filled her in with what he knew. Which wasn’t a lot. Dissuaded her from coming down. There was nothing she could do, and it didn’t seem to him like it would help to disrupt the kids’ school and activity schedule. Not then in any case.
He called the hospital to check in. He wouldn’t be allowed in to see his dad, even if he’d wanted visitors. His mother was staying with her sister in Riverton, which filled Joe with a sense of guilty relief. One less thing to be responsible for.
He shuffled into his kitchen, realizing his pantry was empty. He’d order a pizza or something. But first he needed to collect Buck.
He tried not to look closely at his phone, with Beth’s picture smiling up at him. He needed to delete that, but he didn’t want to right then.
She answered, laughing, Buck yipping in the background. “Why aren’t you resting?”
“I slept seven hours. I’m good. I can come get Buck. I’ve got to get groceries anyway.”
“I’ll bring him over in twenty minutes.” She hung up.
He didn’t want her in his apartment. He wanted a big moat around his life to keep her out. It was too hard otherwise.
But she was stubborn. He smiled, even though it wasn’t wise. He was too tired not to.
He opened to her knock and Buck barked up at him once as he came inside.
“Thank you. For taking him today.”
She breezed past where he’d been attempting to block her from coming inside. She headed into the kitchen where she put the bags she’d been holding up on the counter.
“Beth…”
“Be quiet. I’m making you some food.”
“You need to leave. Damn it. We’re not together anymore. I don’t need you to make me food. I can cook.”
She sighed, moved to him, led him to a chair at the table and pushed him into it. “You. Sit. I’m going to make you a meal and you’re going to appreciate it. You will not tell me you broke up with me. I was there.”
He frowned, but she simply ignored him and went back to work.
“My father is an alcoholic.” She said this matter of fact as she began to get out pots and pans. “I never really realized other people’s dads weren’t like mine until I got to third grade or so. Sometimes someone’s daddy would come on a field trip or to some lunchtime performance. It became really clear to me then. Like, oh, so it’s just him. Or maybe it’s me.”
She chopped and set something that smelled really good on the stove and began to cook. “The trailer we grew up in had two bedrooms. Eight kids and two bedrooms. You can imagine what that was like I’m sure. Or maybe not. I hope not, actually. Anyway, it was pretty much impossible to hide from him when he got angry. Unless you just left. Which I did as much as I could. Lily’s parents had me stay over a lot. That’s where I learned that normal kids didn’t sleep under their beds to hide from dad when he got so drunk he needed to hurt someone just to ease himself.”
