Lost in You
Page 46
“How do you know it didn’t? Hm? How do you know he didn’t hear that story and think, that girl’s got enough damage, I can’t give her any more.”
“Why would he think that? That’s dumb.”
William laughed. “We’re men, my wife tells me this all the time. We do dumb stuff thinking we’re doing the right thing, but we just mess things up. He’s a guy. He’s buried in all this mental-health stuff. He wants to keep you away from it.”
“He thinks he was a bad son.”
“He was a bad son.” William snorted a laugh. “He wants to make amends and he’s doing that. He’s doing what he should with his family. Being a real man. He’s got to do this.” He kissed the top of her head. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t send him a little jolt.”
“Yeah? What do you mean?”
“Keep showing up. Keep yourself in his sights. He needs to know you’re not going anywhere. You’re too stubborn.”
“You think that’ll make any difference?”
“Way I see it, you can give up and move on. Or you can keep trying. You can’t mope around. It makes me want to punch him. He’s my best friend so I’d rather not. But you’re my baby sister and he’s the one making you this way. I can’t have that.”
She smiled up at her brother. Usually so gruff. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard you say this much at one time.”
“I hate to see you sad. You deserve a man who makes you smile. If it’s not going to be him, move on. I’ll help you however I can. But you’re my kooky, smiling sister. I want my Beth back.”
“You’re very sweet.”
“Don’t tell anyone.”
“Your secret really isn’t that much of a secret. Especially if they’ve seen you with your children for more than a minute.”
He rolled his eyes, but she saw his smile, knew he was warmed by her compliment. “We can move past what we came from. We can let it make us better instead of hobbling us and dragging us down.”
“I love you.” She hugged him.
“I love you too.”
She stopped by the garage after she left the Honey Bear. Jacob saw her, as did Buck, who barked, dancing over.
“You’re like one of those dancing horses, Buck. I’ve missed you.” She had a cookie in her pocket so she passed him one, which he inhaled and then gave her a few kisses in thanks. “Where’s your dad?”
“Beth, why are you here?”
She stood, and the way his gaze ate her up gave her hope she hadn’t had much of before then. He missed her. Ha.
“I’m here to say hello to my brother. And to see Buck. I have a stash of dog cookies at work and it would be a crime to let them go to waste.”
Jacob left, leaving her alone with Joe. He had dark spots under his eyes.
“You’re not sleeping enough.”
“Beth.”
“What? Come on, Joe, this is so silly. I know you care about me. You know I care about you. How’s your father?”
“He’s fine. Or, on his way to being fine. Hopefully. You need to go.”
“You’re still playing this? You want to touch me. I can tell.”
“I want a lot of things I can’t have. I can’t afford you, Beth.”
“I’m already yours. You know that.”
He swallowed hard, not speaking for long moments. “You need to move on. I’m going to as well. I never should have let things get serious between us. It was a mistake. You and I were a mistake.”
She knew he was using it to hold her back, but it hurt anyway.
“You’re a liar. And a coward. Two things I’d never have thought of you before now.”
“Another two reasons for you to move on then. Go, Beth. I have too much. Too many things and people depending on me. I can’t have a girlfriend. You’re more than a casual f**k. That’s not a lie. But I can’t have anything more than that. I’m moving on and you should too.”
Honestly? If she saw him out with another woman she might have to run him down with her car. She considered telling him that, but then she thought he’d do it to try to push her away harder.
“I’ll be seeing you around. Get some sleep, why don’t you?” She bent, giving him a view right down the front of her sweater. He may as well get a little memory of what he could have if he wasn’t a dick. “Buck, make him get some sleep.”
She turned, swaying out, looking back over her shoulder and finding him staring longingly at her ass. “See you around, Joe Harris.”
Chapter Fourteen
Lily shook her head. “He’s not worth it.”
“I disagree.” Tate sighed, rubbing her stomach. “He’s hurting. She knows it. She wants to make it better. I think her plan has merit.”
“I think her plan is dumb. Why should she have to do any of this at all? If he loves her so much, why should she have to do more than she is already doing? She sends him food. She asks after him and he won’t even talk to her! Fuck him.” Anne shrugged. “I agree with Lily. Beth is better than this jerk. She should move on. There are other guys in town.”
“And none of them is Joe.” Tate cocked her head. “Right?”
Beth blew out a breath. “Not a one.”
“He loves her. William says so. I say so. Anyone with eyes says so.” Tate waved in Beth’s direction. “We gonna let this guy push our Beth away?”
“Why would he think that? That’s dumb.”
William laughed. “We’re men, my wife tells me this all the time. We do dumb stuff thinking we’re doing the right thing, but we just mess things up. He’s a guy. He’s buried in all this mental-health stuff. He wants to keep you away from it.”
“He thinks he was a bad son.”
“He was a bad son.” William snorted a laugh. “He wants to make amends and he’s doing that. He’s doing what he should with his family. Being a real man. He’s got to do this.” He kissed the top of her head. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t send him a little jolt.”
“Yeah? What do you mean?”
“Keep showing up. Keep yourself in his sights. He needs to know you’re not going anywhere. You’re too stubborn.”
“You think that’ll make any difference?”
“Way I see it, you can give up and move on. Or you can keep trying. You can’t mope around. It makes me want to punch him. He’s my best friend so I’d rather not. But you’re my baby sister and he’s the one making you this way. I can’t have that.”
She smiled up at her brother. Usually so gruff. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard you say this much at one time.”
“I hate to see you sad. You deserve a man who makes you smile. If it’s not going to be him, move on. I’ll help you however I can. But you’re my kooky, smiling sister. I want my Beth back.”
“You’re very sweet.”
“Don’t tell anyone.”
“Your secret really isn’t that much of a secret. Especially if they’ve seen you with your children for more than a minute.”
He rolled his eyes, but she saw his smile, knew he was warmed by her compliment. “We can move past what we came from. We can let it make us better instead of hobbling us and dragging us down.”
“I love you.” She hugged him.
“I love you too.”
She stopped by the garage after she left the Honey Bear. Jacob saw her, as did Buck, who barked, dancing over.
“You’re like one of those dancing horses, Buck. I’ve missed you.” She had a cookie in her pocket so she passed him one, which he inhaled and then gave her a few kisses in thanks. “Where’s your dad?”
“Beth, why are you here?”
She stood, and the way his gaze ate her up gave her hope she hadn’t had much of before then. He missed her. Ha.
“I’m here to say hello to my brother. And to see Buck. I have a stash of dog cookies at work and it would be a crime to let them go to waste.”
Jacob left, leaving her alone with Joe. He had dark spots under his eyes.
“You’re not sleeping enough.”
“Beth.”
“What? Come on, Joe, this is so silly. I know you care about me. You know I care about you. How’s your father?”
“He’s fine. Or, on his way to being fine. Hopefully. You need to go.”
“You’re still playing this? You want to touch me. I can tell.”
“I want a lot of things I can’t have. I can’t afford you, Beth.”
“I’m already yours. You know that.”
He swallowed hard, not speaking for long moments. “You need to move on. I’m going to as well. I never should have let things get serious between us. It was a mistake. You and I were a mistake.”
She knew he was using it to hold her back, but it hurt anyway.
“You’re a liar. And a coward. Two things I’d never have thought of you before now.”
“Another two reasons for you to move on then. Go, Beth. I have too much. Too many things and people depending on me. I can’t have a girlfriend. You’re more than a casual f**k. That’s not a lie. But I can’t have anything more than that. I’m moving on and you should too.”
Honestly? If she saw him out with another woman she might have to run him down with her car. She considered telling him that, but then she thought he’d do it to try to push her away harder.
“I’ll be seeing you around. Get some sleep, why don’t you?” She bent, giving him a view right down the front of her sweater. He may as well get a little memory of what he could have if he wasn’t a dick. “Buck, make him get some sleep.”
She turned, swaying out, looking back over her shoulder and finding him staring longingly at her ass. “See you around, Joe Harris.”
Chapter Fourteen
Lily shook her head. “He’s not worth it.”
“I disagree.” Tate sighed, rubbing her stomach. “He’s hurting. She knows it. She wants to make it better. I think her plan has merit.”
“I think her plan is dumb. Why should she have to do any of this at all? If he loves her so much, why should she have to do more than she is already doing? She sends him food. She asks after him and he won’t even talk to her! Fuck him.” Anne shrugged. “I agree with Lily. Beth is better than this jerk. She should move on. There are other guys in town.”
“And none of them is Joe.” Tate cocked her head. “Right?”
Beth blew out a breath. “Not a one.”
“He loves her. William says so. I say so. Anyone with eyes says so.” Tate waved in Beth’s direction. “We gonna let this guy push our Beth away?”
