Love Irresistibly
Page 86
The mention of his brother, at least, helped to ease the tension. “Zach is quite persuasive. The kid could be a lawyer someday.”
Immediately, Cade realized that was the wrong thing to say.
“Maybe he will be,” Noah said softly. “I’m sure, whatever he does, that he’ll grow up to be a really good man. Like his brother.”
Cade watched as his father struggled to maintain his composure.
He might not be able to forgive, but there was, at least, one thing he could do for him.
“I’ll take care of him, Noah. Whatever he needs. Zach . . . will be okay.”
Noah closed his eyes. His bent his head, going quiet for several moments before he pulled himself together and wiped his eyes. “Thank you.”
Cade felt the stinging in his own eyes. The hospital room suddenly felt too small, the air too thick and heavy. “I need to get going.”
Noah stood up. “Cade, wait. Please. You have no idea how much it means to me that you came here. I know I have no right to ask, but I’d still like that second chance.” He reached out tentatively and put a hand on Cade’s shoulder. “At least think about it, Son.”
The hopefulness on Noah’s face brought Cade back to that moment, so many years ago, when he’d wanted nothing more than to be this man’s son. But he’d shut that door long ago, and he didn’t think he could open it again.
Not when that would mean losing his father all over again.
Cade felt the tightness in his throat, his voice coming out hoarse.
“Good-bye, Noah.”
* * *
CADE PUSHED THROUGH the hospital doors and kept walking. He spotted an alley up ahead and turned into it.
Once alone, he pressed his hands against the brick wall of the hospital and closed his eyes.
So much f**king time wasted.
He hit the wall hard with the side of his fist, the pain a welcome distraction from the ache in his chest. He felt angry and lost and so goddamn raw he wanted to climb out of his own skin. No amount of charm or jokes or quips could protect him now—this was real and it was hard and it was rough. His estranged father was dying, and he was furious about that, at Noah for being a dickhead for so much of his life, and for laying all this on him now. But he couldn’t just feel anger, because he’d seen the genuine look of regret in Noah’s eyes, and also the desire to make things right.
Cade did not want to be that man.
If he took one thing from this screwed-up experience, it was that he didn’t want to look back on his life at the end of his days and regret the actions he’d never taken and the words he’d never said.
The hell with his hang-ups. The hell with holding back. He was going for the win on this one.
He was going to find Brooke.
His decision made, he turned away from the wall, not caring if she was at home, at work, or in goddamn Charlotte. As soon as he pulled himself together, he was going to—
He stopped in his tracks.
Brooke stood there, at the end of the alley.
“Hi,” she said softly.
Cade wiped his eyes, not understanding how her being there was possible. “Why—how—are you here?”
“I went to your place and ran into Zach. He told me you were here.” She gestured in the direction he’d just come from. “I was waiting in the lobby, and when I saw you walk out, I thought maybe you—” She stopped, shifting hesitantly, and then walked over to him. “When I heard about Noah, I wanted to be here. With you.”
Cade was trying to process this, wondering what that might mean, when she pointed to his hand.
“You’re bleeding.” She reached out and took his hand in hers, tenderly turning it over.
He looked down and saw that he’d split one of his knuckles. “I punched a wall.”
“I caught that part.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a tissue.
Cade watched as she gently dabbed at the cut, blotting the blood. He felt no pain anymore, just the warmth of her hand around his.
So much he wanted to say to her. But really, it came down to one thing.
“I love you.”
Brooke paused with the tissue and looked up at him with surprise in her eyes. “Cade. You’re obviously having a very intense day. I totally under—”
He pressed his finger to her lips, cutting her off. Maybe she didn’t want to hear it, and maybe he was indeed going to look like a jackass at the end of this. But he was going to say what he needed to say regardless. “I love you. On intense days. On good days. On long, exhausting workdays. On really strange days when I find out that I have a long-lost brother. And most of all, on days when you make me smile, which happens to be every day I’m with you.” He gazed deep into her eyes. “You are not just a big-picture girl for me, Brooke Parker. You’re the only picture.”
She touched his face, her eyes turning misty. “Cade—”
“You’ve got this job offer in Charlotte. I know. But if you want, that’s something we can figure out together. I made a commitment to Cameron, so I need to stay in Chicago until she’s back from maternity leave. But after that, I can—”
“I didn’t take the job in Charlotte.”
“Oh. Right.” He exhaled, trying to catch up to speed. “Well. You should know that I had at least two minutes left on that speech. Really quality stuff.”
“Sorry. I just thought this might be a good time to mention that I love you, too.” She made a rolling gesture. “But, please—carry on.”
Immediately, Cade realized that was the wrong thing to say.
“Maybe he will be,” Noah said softly. “I’m sure, whatever he does, that he’ll grow up to be a really good man. Like his brother.”
Cade watched as his father struggled to maintain his composure.
He might not be able to forgive, but there was, at least, one thing he could do for him.
“I’ll take care of him, Noah. Whatever he needs. Zach . . . will be okay.”
Noah closed his eyes. His bent his head, going quiet for several moments before he pulled himself together and wiped his eyes. “Thank you.”
Cade felt the stinging in his own eyes. The hospital room suddenly felt too small, the air too thick and heavy. “I need to get going.”
Noah stood up. “Cade, wait. Please. You have no idea how much it means to me that you came here. I know I have no right to ask, but I’d still like that second chance.” He reached out tentatively and put a hand on Cade’s shoulder. “At least think about it, Son.”
The hopefulness on Noah’s face brought Cade back to that moment, so many years ago, when he’d wanted nothing more than to be this man’s son. But he’d shut that door long ago, and he didn’t think he could open it again.
Not when that would mean losing his father all over again.
Cade felt the tightness in his throat, his voice coming out hoarse.
“Good-bye, Noah.”
* * *
CADE PUSHED THROUGH the hospital doors and kept walking. He spotted an alley up ahead and turned into it.
Once alone, he pressed his hands against the brick wall of the hospital and closed his eyes.
So much f**king time wasted.
He hit the wall hard with the side of his fist, the pain a welcome distraction from the ache in his chest. He felt angry and lost and so goddamn raw he wanted to climb out of his own skin. No amount of charm or jokes or quips could protect him now—this was real and it was hard and it was rough. His estranged father was dying, and he was furious about that, at Noah for being a dickhead for so much of his life, and for laying all this on him now. But he couldn’t just feel anger, because he’d seen the genuine look of regret in Noah’s eyes, and also the desire to make things right.
Cade did not want to be that man.
If he took one thing from this screwed-up experience, it was that he didn’t want to look back on his life at the end of his days and regret the actions he’d never taken and the words he’d never said.
The hell with his hang-ups. The hell with holding back. He was going for the win on this one.
He was going to find Brooke.
His decision made, he turned away from the wall, not caring if she was at home, at work, or in goddamn Charlotte. As soon as he pulled himself together, he was going to—
He stopped in his tracks.
Brooke stood there, at the end of the alley.
“Hi,” she said softly.
Cade wiped his eyes, not understanding how her being there was possible. “Why—how—are you here?”
“I went to your place and ran into Zach. He told me you were here.” She gestured in the direction he’d just come from. “I was waiting in the lobby, and when I saw you walk out, I thought maybe you—” She stopped, shifting hesitantly, and then walked over to him. “When I heard about Noah, I wanted to be here. With you.”
Cade was trying to process this, wondering what that might mean, when she pointed to his hand.
“You’re bleeding.” She reached out and took his hand in hers, tenderly turning it over.
He looked down and saw that he’d split one of his knuckles. “I punched a wall.”
“I caught that part.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a tissue.
Cade watched as she gently dabbed at the cut, blotting the blood. He felt no pain anymore, just the warmth of her hand around his.
So much he wanted to say to her. But really, it came down to one thing.
“I love you.”
Brooke paused with the tissue and looked up at him with surprise in her eyes. “Cade. You’re obviously having a very intense day. I totally under—”
He pressed his finger to her lips, cutting her off. Maybe she didn’t want to hear it, and maybe he was indeed going to look like a jackass at the end of this. But he was going to say what he needed to say regardless. “I love you. On intense days. On good days. On long, exhausting workdays. On really strange days when I find out that I have a long-lost brother. And most of all, on days when you make me smile, which happens to be every day I’m with you.” He gazed deep into her eyes. “You are not just a big-picture girl for me, Brooke Parker. You’re the only picture.”
She touched his face, her eyes turning misty. “Cade—”
“You’ve got this job offer in Charlotte. I know. But if you want, that’s something we can figure out together. I made a commitment to Cameron, so I need to stay in Chicago until she’s back from maternity leave. But after that, I can—”
“I didn’t take the job in Charlotte.”
“Oh. Right.” He exhaled, trying to catch up to speed. “Well. You should know that I had at least two minutes left on that speech. Really quality stuff.”
“Sorry. I just thought this might be a good time to mention that I love you, too.” She made a rolling gesture. “But, please—carry on.”
