Love Story
Page 47
It feels like we’re getting to know each other again, and it feels good. Or at least it does when she doesn’t start badgering me about plans.
I know I shouldn’t have bitten her head off with her stupid endgame questions, but damn it. Why the hell can’t she just let it be? Let me be?
Why can’t I just be good enough as I am?
My fingers tighten reflexively on her hand, and she eases around so she’s standing in front of me, her gaze wary. “You okay?”
I force a smile. “I’ll be more okay once I get you naked and into the two-person shower.”
She doesn’t smile back. “Look, Reece, I’ve been trying to avoid the topic since you freak out every time I mention it, but we’ve only got a couple nights left on the road.”
My chest tightens in panic. “I’m aware.”
I’m more than aware that I’ve only got a couple days left before your real life starts.
Lucy takes a breath. “Okay, I get that guys aren’t known for talking about their feelings, but you’ve got to give me some indication of where your head’s at.”
“In a few minutes, I’m thinking it’ll be between your thighs,” I say, my hands sliding down to cup her ass, pulling her toward me.
Lucy’s not having it and steps back. “Is that all this is? Sex? I can take it if it is, just…tell me now.”
Despite her brave words, her voice is small, and it tears at me.
I close my eyes and rub my hands over my head. “Shit, I don’t know, Luce. I’m not good at this.”
“Nobody’s good at this, Reece. Relationships are hard, and I can do hard, but I’m just trying to decide if I should even bother with you.” I open my mouth, but she lifts a warning finger. “Do not make some smartass comment about me doing hard. I’m trying to talk to you.”
I’d forgotten how persistent this girl can be when she wants something. I just wish she’d learn that I’ve never been any good at giving her what she wants.
“Give me a break here, Luce,” I say, striving to keep my tone light. “A little over a week ago you and I weren’t even speaking to each other. A few days ago, we couldn’t speak to each other without wanting to kill one another. You can’t expect me to have it all figured out.”
My answer isn’t what she wants. I knew it before I said it, and the way her face crumples just a little bit confirms it.
It also destroys me. But how the hell am I supposed to put it all out there when she won’t?
I’m not an idiot. Lucy Hawkins wants me; she cares about me. But I also notice that she doesn’t use words like forever when it comes to me.
I’m not her endgame. Never have been.
We stare at each other for long moments, and with a sigh, I start to reach for her, then let my arms drop. “For someone that’s doing an awful lot of pushing for conversation, I don’t hear you saying much of anything.”
She takes a long breath. “You’re right. I’m scared.”
I swallow, and nod once. Yeah. Me too.
And though I know it’s the coward’s way out, though I know it’s less than she deserves, I reach for her.
I may not have a clue about how to tell her how I feel—I’m not sure I can even tell myself. But I can show her.
Chapter 34
Lucy
My head drops back with a moan as Reece’s mouth glides down my neck, his hands sliding to the small of my back, pulling me against him.
I know what he’s doing. I know what we’re both doing. We’re taking the easy way out, expressing ourselves with hands and mouths instead of words, but for now, I let it be enough.
I kiss him back with everything, and Reece senses my desperation, pulling back slightly and giving me a searching look, framing my face with his big hands and resting his forehead on mine. “You okay?”
No! No, not okay. I’m falling in love with you all over again, and I don’t know that you’re falling back.
I nod, and his eyes narrow at the lie, his thumbs drifting over my cheekbones, his eyes following the tender motion.
His lips replace his thumbs, and he rains soft kisses along my cheek, my temple, before kissing me again, soft and sweet.
And then I realize he is answering, just not with words.
My heart clenches as I realize what’s happening here. He’s saying goodbye, or at least beginning the process.
Hot as the past couple nights have been, even downright raunchy, it’s been all about sex, carnal and earthy, maybe even a little angry at times.
Me, angry at him for the past. Him angry at me for holding on to the past.
Tonight, though…
Tonight is different. Tonight is about the fact that in just a couple days we’ll be done with the road trip. Done with each other.
The thought makes me want to weep, and with something akin to a sob, I kiss him back, my own hands framing his face in the same way he holds mine. I want to tell him that he’s beautiful to me, that he’s everything.
I want to beg him to undo the past, I want to stop remembering what it felt like when he cheated. I want to go back to when I was eighteen and so in love with this boy that I thought nothing could ever break us.
The kiss changes. Still sweet, but a little desperate now too, and his hands slide over me, his palms cupping my breasts before he slides them down farther, tugging the dress up and over my head and tossing it aside.
Reece groans a little at the sight of my underwear. Polka dots again, but grown-up. It’s a pink satin thong with black lace dots and a little bow at the top. He lightly drags his fingers over the fabric and I whimper, torn between needing him now, and wanting this to last all night.
I know I shouldn’t have bitten her head off with her stupid endgame questions, but damn it. Why the hell can’t she just let it be? Let me be?
Why can’t I just be good enough as I am?
My fingers tighten reflexively on her hand, and she eases around so she’s standing in front of me, her gaze wary. “You okay?”
I force a smile. “I’ll be more okay once I get you naked and into the two-person shower.”
She doesn’t smile back. “Look, Reece, I’ve been trying to avoid the topic since you freak out every time I mention it, but we’ve only got a couple nights left on the road.”
My chest tightens in panic. “I’m aware.”
I’m more than aware that I’ve only got a couple days left before your real life starts.
Lucy takes a breath. “Okay, I get that guys aren’t known for talking about their feelings, but you’ve got to give me some indication of where your head’s at.”
“In a few minutes, I’m thinking it’ll be between your thighs,” I say, my hands sliding down to cup her ass, pulling her toward me.
Lucy’s not having it and steps back. “Is that all this is? Sex? I can take it if it is, just…tell me now.”
Despite her brave words, her voice is small, and it tears at me.
I close my eyes and rub my hands over my head. “Shit, I don’t know, Luce. I’m not good at this.”
“Nobody’s good at this, Reece. Relationships are hard, and I can do hard, but I’m just trying to decide if I should even bother with you.” I open my mouth, but she lifts a warning finger. “Do not make some smartass comment about me doing hard. I’m trying to talk to you.”
I’d forgotten how persistent this girl can be when she wants something. I just wish she’d learn that I’ve never been any good at giving her what she wants.
“Give me a break here, Luce,” I say, striving to keep my tone light. “A little over a week ago you and I weren’t even speaking to each other. A few days ago, we couldn’t speak to each other without wanting to kill one another. You can’t expect me to have it all figured out.”
My answer isn’t what she wants. I knew it before I said it, and the way her face crumples just a little bit confirms it.
It also destroys me. But how the hell am I supposed to put it all out there when she won’t?
I’m not an idiot. Lucy Hawkins wants me; she cares about me. But I also notice that she doesn’t use words like forever when it comes to me.
I’m not her endgame. Never have been.
We stare at each other for long moments, and with a sigh, I start to reach for her, then let my arms drop. “For someone that’s doing an awful lot of pushing for conversation, I don’t hear you saying much of anything.”
She takes a long breath. “You’re right. I’m scared.”
I swallow, and nod once. Yeah. Me too.
And though I know it’s the coward’s way out, though I know it’s less than she deserves, I reach for her.
I may not have a clue about how to tell her how I feel—I’m not sure I can even tell myself. But I can show her.
Chapter 34
Lucy
My head drops back with a moan as Reece’s mouth glides down my neck, his hands sliding to the small of my back, pulling me against him.
I know what he’s doing. I know what we’re both doing. We’re taking the easy way out, expressing ourselves with hands and mouths instead of words, but for now, I let it be enough.
I kiss him back with everything, and Reece senses my desperation, pulling back slightly and giving me a searching look, framing my face with his big hands and resting his forehead on mine. “You okay?”
No! No, not okay. I’m falling in love with you all over again, and I don’t know that you’re falling back.
I nod, and his eyes narrow at the lie, his thumbs drifting over my cheekbones, his eyes following the tender motion.
His lips replace his thumbs, and he rains soft kisses along my cheek, my temple, before kissing me again, soft and sweet.
And then I realize he is answering, just not with words.
My heart clenches as I realize what’s happening here. He’s saying goodbye, or at least beginning the process.
Hot as the past couple nights have been, even downright raunchy, it’s been all about sex, carnal and earthy, maybe even a little angry at times.
Me, angry at him for the past. Him angry at me for holding on to the past.
Tonight, though…
Tonight is different. Tonight is about the fact that in just a couple days we’ll be done with the road trip. Done with each other.
The thought makes me want to weep, and with something akin to a sob, I kiss him back, my own hands framing his face in the same way he holds mine. I want to tell him that he’s beautiful to me, that he’s everything.
I want to beg him to undo the past, I want to stop remembering what it felt like when he cheated. I want to go back to when I was eighteen and so in love with this boy that I thought nothing could ever break us.
The kiss changes. Still sweet, but a little desperate now too, and his hands slide over me, his palms cupping my breasts before he slides them down farther, tugging the dress up and over my head and tossing it aside.
Reece groans a little at the sight of my underwear. Polka dots again, but grown-up. It’s a pink satin thong with black lace dots and a little bow at the top. He lightly drags his fingers over the fabric and I whimper, torn between needing him now, and wanting this to last all night.
