Love Story
Page 56
“Maybe,” I say quietly. “But you know better now, right? You know now that I’m a summer fling, and better in bed but not boyfriend material?”
“What are you—” Her mouth drops open. “Wait. Wait. Tell me you didn’t read my journal.”
I shove my hands in my pockets and stare at her, so buried in my own pain that I don’t see the slap coming.
The crack of her palm against my cheek echoes between us, but the sadness in her eyes hurts a hell of a lot more than the slap itself.
“That’s why you pulled back,” she says with a disbelieving laugh. “You read my rambling, angry, private thoughts in a stupid notebook and decided to base our entire future on what you read there.”
“We don’t have a future, Lucy.”
“Only because you’re too chickenshit.”
“Now, hold on,” I say, stepping toward her. “I’ll take some blame, but not all the blame. Those things you wrote—”
“Were angry, childish stream-of-consciousness nonsense, Reece!” she says. “And you don’t get to be mad. In the same way you used Abby to keep me at a distance so I couldn’t hurt you, I was bracing myself for the hurt. Telling myself that I only wanted a summer fling, because on some level I knew that was all you’d ever give me.”
I glance upward, my heart wanting so damn bad to believe her, even as my brain screams not to risk it.
“What’s so broken inside of you that you won’t let me fix it?” she asks quietly. “Why can’t you believe that I care about you? That we can make this work?”
I need to get out of here. I take a step backward, away from her, shaking my head. “Go home, Lucy.”
She swallows and lifts her chin. “And give you what you want? Proof that I’ll leave, just like your mom. Your dad. Your sister. Everyone leaves, is that it? And you’re just waiting for me to do the same.”
She’s so dead-on it nearly brings me to my knees, and I take another step back.
“Don’t lump me in with your family, Reece. They left, of their own will or not, but you let me leave. Hell, you more or less pushed me. And I walked away, and I don’t love that I did. But you’re just as bad. You didn’t come after me, and that’s on you.”
“Go. Home.” I snarl it as I turn away.
“Reece, please—”
I keep walking.
“Reece!”
I hear the tears in her voice and expect them.
What I don’t expect is the way my own tears come when I finally hear her drive away.
Chapter 41
LUCY, NINETEEN, REECE, TWENTY
Reece paced impatiently by the park bench he’d been sitting on for the better part of an hour.
He purposely didn’t look at anyone. Didn’t want to see anyone staring at him like he didn’t belong.
He already knew he didn’t belong.
College had never been in the cards for Reece, and standing on the campus now, he felt like the worst kind of imposter.
It’s worth it. It’ll all be worth it when you see her.
It was creepy. He knew that. He’d practically stalked her. But just as in high school, Lucy was sparkly and involved in every possible activity in college. She’d made friends with every single person.
People knew her. It hadn’t taken long before he found someone who told him she’d just gone into the library with a study group.
All he had to do was wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Must be quite the study group.
To occupy the time, Reece pulled out the crumpled piece of paper where he’d written down everything that he wanted to tell her.
He clenched the paper tightly. He’d written his heart on this damn paper. No way was he going to let the evening breeze whisk it away.
It held everything he needed to say.
Sorry, obviously. Forgive me, definitely.
I love you.
He swallowed, read the words, mentally practiced saying them to Lucy.
I love you, Lucy. I’ve always loved you. Please give me another chance.
His eyes stung a little as he realized what a long shot it was.
The library door opened, and Reece’s head came up at the sound of a familiar voice, his chest tightening when he saw her.
She was waving goodbye to another girl, laughing at whatever the girl called back.
Reece stared, willing Lucy to look his way. She didn’t.
Instead she turned and talked to the skinny red-haired guy beside her.
Reece checked his watch, and waited for them to finish coordinating homework, or whatever the hell they were doing.
After a few minutes, his impatience turned to panic. The kid was standing way too close, and Lucy’s smile was way too friendly.
No. No!
Reece resisted the urge to howl as he watched the guy bend down to Lucy.
Kissed her. Another guy was kissing his girl.
Reece swallowed the lump in his throat, reminding himself it was only fair. She’d seen Abby kissing him. He hadn’t told her otherwise.
It was good that she’d moved on. Good that she was happy.
The stinging of his eyes was turning to a full-on burn, and he cleared his throat quickly as he turned away, crumpling the piece of paper in his fist.
There was a garbage can next to Reece’s car.
He tossed the letter in it. Right along with his heart.
Chapter 42
Lucy
“Okay, tell me again how it went down with Reece. Word for word. In excruciating detail.”
“What are you—” Her mouth drops open. “Wait. Wait. Tell me you didn’t read my journal.”
I shove my hands in my pockets and stare at her, so buried in my own pain that I don’t see the slap coming.
The crack of her palm against my cheek echoes between us, but the sadness in her eyes hurts a hell of a lot more than the slap itself.
“That’s why you pulled back,” she says with a disbelieving laugh. “You read my rambling, angry, private thoughts in a stupid notebook and decided to base our entire future on what you read there.”
“We don’t have a future, Lucy.”
“Only because you’re too chickenshit.”
“Now, hold on,” I say, stepping toward her. “I’ll take some blame, but not all the blame. Those things you wrote—”
“Were angry, childish stream-of-consciousness nonsense, Reece!” she says. “And you don’t get to be mad. In the same way you used Abby to keep me at a distance so I couldn’t hurt you, I was bracing myself for the hurt. Telling myself that I only wanted a summer fling, because on some level I knew that was all you’d ever give me.”
I glance upward, my heart wanting so damn bad to believe her, even as my brain screams not to risk it.
“What’s so broken inside of you that you won’t let me fix it?” she asks quietly. “Why can’t you believe that I care about you? That we can make this work?”
I need to get out of here. I take a step backward, away from her, shaking my head. “Go home, Lucy.”
She swallows and lifts her chin. “And give you what you want? Proof that I’ll leave, just like your mom. Your dad. Your sister. Everyone leaves, is that it? And you’re just waiting for me to do the same.”
She’s so dead-on it nearly brings me to my knees, and I take another step back.
“Don’t lump me in with your family, Reece. They left, of their own will or not, but you let me leave. Hell, you more or less pushed me. And I walked away, and I don’t love that I did. But you’re just as bad. You didn’t come after me, and that’s on you.”
“Go. Home.” I snarl it as I turn away.
“Reece, please—”
I keep walking.
“Reece!”
I hear the tears in her voice and expect them.
What I don’t expect is the way my own tears come when I finally hear her drive away.
Chapter 41
LUCY, NINETEEN, REECE, TWENTY
Reece paced impatiently by the park bench he’d been sitting on for the better part of an hour.
He purposely didn’t look at anyone. Didn’t want to see anyone staring at him like he didn’t belong.
He already knew he didn’t belong.
College had never been in the cards for Reece, and standing on the campus now, he felt like the worst kind of imposter.
It’s worth it. It’ll all be worth it when you see her.
It was creepy. He knew that. He’d practically stalked her. But just as in high school, Lucy was sparkly and involved in every possible activity in college. She’d made friends with every single person.
People knew her. It hadn’t taken long before he found someone who told him she’d just gone into the library with a study group.
All he had to do was wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Must be quite the study group.
To occupy the time, Reece pulled out the crumpled piece of paper where he’d written down everything that he wanted to tell her.
He clenched the paper tightly. He’d written his heart on this damn paper. No way was he going to let the evening breeze whisk it away.
It held everything he needed to say.
Sorry, obviously. Forgive me, definitely.
I love you.
He swallowed, read the words, mentally practiced saying them to Lucy.
I love you, Lucy. I’ve always loved you. Please give me another chance.
His eyes stung a little as he realized what a long shot it was.
The library door opened, and Reece’s head came up at the sound of a familiar voice, his chest tightening when he saw her.
She was waving goodbye to another girl, laughing at whatever the girl called back.
Reece stared, willing Lucy to look his way. She didn’t.
Instead she turned and talked to the skinny red-haired guy beside her.
Reece checked his watch, and waited for them to finish coordinating homework, or whatever the hell they were doing.
After a few minutes, his impatience turned to panic. The kid was standing way too close, and Lucy’s smile was way too friendly.
No. No!
Reece resisted the urge to howl as he watched the guy bend down to Lucy.
Kissed her. Another guy was kissing his girl.
Reece swallowed the lump in his throat, reminding himself it was only fair. She’d seen Abby kissing him. He hadn’t told her otherwise.
It was good that she’d moved on. Good that she was happy.
The stinging of his eyes was turning to a full-on burn, and he cleared his throat quickly as he turned away, crumpling the piece of paper in his fist.
There was a garbage can next to Reece’s car.
He tossed the letter in it. Right along with his heart.
Chapter 42
Lucy
“Okay, tell me again how it went down with Reece. Word for word. In excruciating detail.”
