Love Unscripted
Page 111
“Hello Barbie, my name is Taryn. It’s very nice to meet you!”
Cami giggled. “Her name not Barbie! Her name Dora!”
“Dora? What a pretty name! It’s nice to meet you, Dora. Dora, Dora, Dora, the Explorer.” I sang, making Cami giggle at me again.
“How do you know the Dora song?” Kelly asked as Cami ran back down the hallway.
“There’s not much else on at two o’clock in the afternoon. Sometimes I’d rather watch cartoons than the other choices.”
Two minutes later, Cami came running back with another naked Barbie in her other hand. “Here, you be Beauty and I’ll be Dora.”
I took the Barbie into my hands and danced her around on my leg.
“Cami, don’t be a pest!” Kelly announced from the kitchen.
“Come on Cami, let’s take our dollies on an adventure.” I danced the doll over to the kitchen counter where several large chairs were poised.
“So Beauty, does mommy need help in the kitchen?”
“No thank you, Beauty. Dinner is almost ready,” Kelly replied. “Does Taryn need a glass of wine yet?”
I answered with a wink and a nod.
“What about G.I. Joe over there? Do you and Malibu Ken need drinks?” Kelly teased.
I pulled out one of the chairs and my little friend was right by my side. “Would you like to sit on my lap? We can play dollies up here!”
Cami just nodded her head at me like she was in a trance.
We played with the two dolls on the counter. “You know Cami, when I was your age I loved playing with Barbies too. I would sit in my room for hours, building houses and taking my Barbie for a ride in her car.”
“You did?”
“Uhuh! But my Barbie had clothes. What happened to your clothes, Dora?”
“Dora gonna take a bath,” she told me, matter-of-factly. “And then, and then, and then, and then, she gonna brush her teef. See? Like dis. Open wide.” Cami opened her mouth.
While the adorable little girl was showing me her teeth, a little squeaker of a toot slipped out of her bottom. “Oops!” she giggled.
“Did you sit on a mouse?” I asked her.
“No, I farted,” she announced to everyone.
I couldn’t stop laughing. Cal took her off of my lap.
“Say you’re sorry to Taryn!” he said in between laughing.
“Sorry,” she said in her beautiful little voice.
“That’s okay sweetie.”
“Come on. Let’s see if some little girl needs to go potty.” Cal led her down the hallway.
Ryan stood behind me, rubbing my shoulders and laughing that I got tooted on.
“She got me good once. You remember that Kelly? When we were filming the first movie, I had her sitting on my lap and I was tickling her and she peed all over me.”
“Ryan, that was so funny, none of us could ever forget that. And believe me, it’s a rite of passage once you become a parent. I don’t think there’s a mom or dad on the planet that hasn’t gotten peed, pooped, or puked on.”
“Well, your daughter peed on me, and my baby niece Sarah has power puked on me already… guess there’s only one more rite of passage then for me, huh?” Ryan laughed.
“It’s not official until it’s your own child,” Kelly corrected Ryan’s assumption.
“You mean all these other times don’t count?” Ryan whined.
Cami came running down the hall and ran right to my leg. I lifted her up and sat her back on my lap. “Are you all better now?”
She nodded her head. “I pooped.”
“On the potty like a big girl?” I asked. Ryan stuck his head over my shoulder to get in on the conversation.
“Uhuh. And, and, and my daddy... he wiped my bottom.”
“He did? What a good daddy!” I said excitedly.
“Wanna see my toys?”
“We’re going to eat dinner first, Cami,” Kelly said as she took the little girl off my lap. “Sorry about this. I couldn’t find anyone to babysit her.”
I waved a hand and smiled. “Don’t worry about it,”
We all took our seats at the dinner table. Cami insisted on sitting next to me. She was my new best friend.
“We’ll have fun later, I promise,” I said to Cami. “But first we have to put some yummy food in our bellies. Then maybe you can show me your toys.”
“Ooh, pwetty!” Cami had my new necklace in her hand. “Hearts! Can I have it?”
“Cami, no. That’s not yours,” Kelly reprimanded.
Cami giggled. “Her name not Barbie! Her name Dora!”
“Dora? What a pretty name! It’s nice to meet you, Dora. Dora, Dora, Dora, the Explorer.” I sang, making Cami giggle at me again.
“How do you know the Dora song?” Kelly asked as Cami ran back down the hallway.
“There’s not much else on at two o’clock in the afternoon. Sometimes I’d rather watch cartoons than the other choices.”
Two minutes later, Cami came running back with another naked Barbie in her other hand. “Here, you be Beauty and I’ll be Dora.”
I took the Barbie into my hands and danced her around on my leg.
“Cami, don’t be a pest!” Kelly announced from the kitchen.
“Come on Cami, let’s take our dollies on an adventure.” I danced the doll over to the kitchen counter where several large chairs were poised.
“So Beauty, does mommy need help in the kitchen?”
“No thank you, Beauty. Dinner is almost ready,” Kelly replied. “Does Taryn need a glass of wine yet?”
I answered with a wink and a nod.
“What about G.I. Joe over there? Do you and Malibu Ken need drinks?” Kelly teased.
I pulled out one of the chairs and my little friend was right by my side. “Would you like to sit on my lap? We can play dollies up here!”
Cami just nodded her head at me like she was in a trance.
We played with the two dolls on the counter. “You know Cami, when I was your age I loved playing with Barbies too. I would sit in my room for hours, building houses and taking my Barbie for a ride in her car.”
“You did?”
“Uhuh! But my Barbie had clothes. What happened to your clothes, Dora?”
“Dora gonna take a bath,” she told me, matter-of-factly. “And then, and then, and then, and then, she gonna brush her teef. See? Like dis. Open wide.” Cami opened her mouth.
While the adorable little girl was showing me her teeth, a little squeaker of a toot slipped out of her bottom. “Oops!” she giggled.
“Did you sit on a mouse?” I asked her.
“No, I farted,” she announced to everyone.
I couldn’t stop laughing. Cal took her off of my lap.
“Say you’re sorry to Taryn!” he said in between laughing.
“Sorry,” she said in her beautiful little voice.
“That’s okay sweetie.”
“Come on. Let’s see if some little girl needs to go potty.” Cal led her down the hallway.
Ryan stood behind me, rubbing my shoulders and laughing that I got tooted on.
“She got me good once. You remember that Kelly? When we were filming the first movie, I had her sitting on my lap and I was tickling her and she peed all over me.”
“Ryan, that was so funny, none of us could ever forget that. And believe me, it’s a rite of passage once you become a parent. I don’t think there’s a mom or dad on the planet that hasn’t gotten peed, pooped, or puked on.”
“Well, your daughter peed on me, and my baby niece Sarah has power puked on me already… guess there’s only one more rite of passage then for me, huh?” Ryan laughed.
“It’s not official until it’s your own child,” Kelly corrected Ryan’s assumption.
“You mean all these other times don’t count?” Ryan whined.
Cami came running down the hall and ran right to my leg. I lifted her up and sat her back on my lap. “Are you all better now?”
She nodded her head. “I pooped.”
“On the potty like a big girl?” I asked. Ryan stuck his head over my shoulder to get in on the conversation.
“Uhuh. And, and, and my daddy... he wiped my bottom.”
“He did? What a good daddy!” I said excitedly.
“Wanna see my toys?”
“We’re going to eat dinner first, Cami,” Kelly said as she took the little girl off my lap. “Sorry about this. I couldn’t find anyone to babysit her.”
I waved a hand and smiled. “Don’t worry about it,”
We all took our seats at the dinner table. Cami insisted on sitting next to me. She was my new best friend.
“We’ll have fun later, I promise,” I said to Cami. “But first we have to put some yummy food in our bellies. Then maybe you can show me your toys.”
“Ooh, pwetty!” Cami had my new necklace in her hand. “Hearts! Can I have it?”
“Cami, no. That’s not yours,” Kelly reprimanded.
