Love Unscripted
Page 85
“Marie, she’s right. They are leaving soon. He’s got movies to make and he has to travel to many other places after this. How can it possibly work out?”
The smoke from the grill was making my eyes sting even worse. “Long distance relationships never last.”
“Don’t think that!” she yelled at me. “He cares about you!”
“So what? It doesn’t matter how we feel about each other. He’s going to have to leave eventually! Once he leaves, that will be it. This relationship, if that’s even what it is, was doomed from the start.” I felt the pain that precedes my tears crack into my chest.
“He’s beyond famous. And once we’re not around each other, temptation will be all around him. There are a million pretty women out there for him to choose from and I’m sure he’ll form bonds with the next hot actress he has to work with.” I had to breathe. Reality was setting in.
“I’m kidding myself to think he’ll want to maintain a relationship with me. He’ll never be able to stay faithful to me, and why should he? He’s young, and single, and certainly not in a position in his life to settle down with someone. I’m nothing more than a stupid piece of ass.”
I wiped my eyes. My eyeliner was noticeable on my finger. I felt the tear form and drip down my cheek.
Marie rushed around the grill and gave me a hug. I couldn’t hold the tears in anymore thinking about losing him; they streamed down my face.
“What happened?” Ryan yelled, running over to where we stood.
Marie answered him. “That Suzanne is a bitch! She’s lucky I didn’t punch her.”
“What did she say to you? Tell me!” He started to pull on my arm.
Marie let me go and I turned to take the steaks off the grill. I sniffed back my tears and tried to stifle the sobs that ebbed up my chest as I threw each steak in the pot. I couldn’t look at him.
“Give me the fork,” Marie ordered, relieving me of steak duty.
Ryan grabbed my upper arms and spun me around with force. “Taryn, Sweetheart, what did she say to you? Tell me right now!”
I just shook my head. I couldn’t stop the tears. I also didn’t want to have this conversation with him while Marie was present.
“Marie, would you please take the steaks downstairs for me? Please? I need a moment,” I muttered. Ryan was wiping my face with his fingers.
“Please, tell me what she said,” he pleaded.
“She said a lot of things, Ryan. Mostly she reminded me repeatedly that you’re leaving soon and you’re not coming back here - and thinking about that hurts… so bad.” I squeezed my eyes shut; fresh tears rolled down my face.
“She informed me that you’re leaving for Scotland soon, and that you have many other movie commitments and so many other places in the world to be.” I swallowed hard, trying to pull myself together. I didn’t want him to see me crying over him. I wiped my cheek.
“Funny, I knew all along that you wouldn’t be staying here. How could you possibly…”
“That bitch! I’ve just about had enough of her shit!” he yelled.
I didn’t fully understand why he was mad at Suzanne.
“Don’t blame her. She didn’t say anything that I hadn’t already considered. I just didn’t need her to remind me today.”
I looked away when I realized the day of reckoning was happening now.
“I should have never let myself get this attached,” I said, chastising myself. I started to take a step back to walk away, but Ryan grabbed my arms again. I tried to squirm out of his hands but he tightened his grip.
“This is exactly why…” I didn’t finish saying it out loud. My hands clenched into fists. In my mind, the inevitable heartbreak was already here and I was furious with myself.
“Oh, God. Why did I let this happen? I’m so stupid! I should have never, ever…” Fresh air stuttered down my throat.
“Taryn?” Ryan’s face twisted with confusion.
I knew he didn’t understand why I was so distraught.
“I’m sorry, Ryan. I knew this moment would come eventually. That’s why I tried to just stay friends. I don’t want to put this on you. It’s my problem.”
“What are you saying?” He shook my arms.
I attempted to wipe my eye, trying to find the internal strength to say the words. I love you, but I can’t keep you.
“I’m saying we shouldn’t see each other anymore. Then when you leave in a few weeks, no one gets hurt.”
The smoke from the grill was making my eyes sting even worse. “Long distance relationships never last.”
“Don’t think that!” she yelled at me. “He cares about you!”
“So what? It doesn’t matter how we feel about each other. He’s going to have to leave eventually! Once he leaves, that will be it. This relationship, if that’s even what it is, was doomed from the start.” I felt the pain that precedes my tears crack into my chest.
“He’s beyond famous. And once we’re not around each other, temptation will be all around him. There are a million pretty women out there for him to choose from and I’m sure he’ll form bonds with the next hot actress he has to work with.” I had to breathe. Reality was setting in.
“I’m kidding myself to think he’ll want to maintain a relationship with me. He’ll never be able to stay faithful to me, and why should he? He’s young, and single, and certainly not in a position in his life to settle down with someone. I’m nothing more than a stupid piece of ass.”
I wiped my eyes. My eyeliner was noticeable on my finger. I felt the tear form and drip down my cheek.
Marie rushed around the grill and gave me a hug. I couldn’t hold the tears in anymore thinking about losing him; they streamed down my face.
“What happened?” Ryan yelled, running over to where we stood.
Marie answered him. “That Suzanne is a bitch! She’s lucky I didn’t punch her.”
“What did she say to you? Tell me!” He started to pull on my arm.
Marie let me go and I turned to take the steaks off the grill. I sniffed back my tears and tried to stifle the sobs that ebbed up my chest as I threw each steak in the pot. I couldn’t look at him.
“Give me the fork,” Marie ordered, relieving me of steak duty.
Ryan grabbed my upper arms and spun me around with force. “Taryn, Sweetheart, what did she say to you? Tell me right now!”
I just shook my head. I couldn’t stop the tears. I also didn’t want to have this conversation with him while Marie was present.
“Marie, would you please take the steaks downstairs for me? Please? I need a moment,” I muttered. Ryan was wiping my face with his fingers.
“Please, tell me what she said,” he pleaded.
“She said a lot of things, Ryan. Mostly she reminded me repeatedly that you’re leaving soon and you’re not coming back here - and thinking about that hurts… so bad.” I squeezed my eyes shut; fresh tears rolled down my face.
“She informed me that you’re leaving for Scotland soon, and that you have many other movie commitments and so many other places in the world to be.” I swallowed hard, trying to pull myself together. I didn’t want him to see me crying over him. I wiped my cheek.
“Funny, I knew all along that you wouldn’t be staying here. How could you possibly…”
“That bitch! I’ve just about had enough of her shit!” he yelled.
I didn’t fully understand why he was mad at Suzanne.
“Don’t blame her. She didn’t say anything that I hadn’t already considered. I just didn’t need her to remind me today.”
I looked away when I realized the day of reckoning was happening now.
“I should have never let myself get this attached,” I said, chastising myself. I started to take a step back to walk away, but Ryan grabbed my arms again. I tried to squirm out of his hands but he tightened his grip.
“This is exactly why…” I didn’t finish saying it out loud. My hands clenched into fists. In my mind, the inevitable heartbreak was already here and I was furious with myself.
“Oh, God. Why did I let this happen? I’m so stupid! I should have never, ever…” Fresh air stuttered down my throat.
“Taryn?” Ryan’s face twisted with confusion.
I knew he didn’t understand why I was so distraught.
“I’m sorry, Ryan. I knew this moment would come eventually. That’s why I tried to just stay friends. I don’t want to put this on you. It’s my problem.”
“What are you saying?” He shook my arms.
I attempted to wipe my eye, trying to find the internal strength to say the words. I love you, but I can’t keep you.
“I’m saying we shouldn’t see each other anymore. Then when you leave in a few weeks, no one gets hurt.”
