Lover Eternal
Chapter Forty-three
Rhage did not return to the main house until five in the afternoon. As he walked through the tunnel, he made no sound. He'd taken his shoes off because they'd been soggy and then forgotten where he'd left them.
He was a live wire, the burn in him a roar he couldn't get rid of no matter how exhausted he was or how much weight he lifted or how far he ran. At this point, not that he'd even consider it, he couldn't imagine that having sex with a hundred different females would bring him down.
There was no escape for him, but he had to talk to Mary. He dreaded telling her he'd been condemned a century ago and had no idea how to explain that the beast wanted to have sex with her. But she needed to know why he stayed away.
He braced himself and opened their bedroom door. She wasn't there.
He went downstairs and found Fritz in the kitchen.
"Have you seen Mary?" he asked, doing his best to keep his voice level.
"Yes, sire. She departed."
Rhage's blood went glacial. "Where was she headed?"
"She didn't say."
"Did she take anything with her? Purse? Overnight bag?"
"A book. A bagel. A parka."
Outside. Rhage hit the underground tunnel and was at the Pit in half a minute. He pounded on the door.
Vishous took his damn time answering and was sporting boxer shorts and bed head when he did. "What the"
"Mary's out of the house. By herself. I need to find her."
V went from rubbing his eyes and looking cranked-off to being totally focused. He went to his computer, called up every exterior image he had, and found her curled up in the sun right against the mansion's front doors. Which was smart. If anything came at her, she'd be able to get into the vestibule in the work of a moment.
Rhage took a deep breath. "How do you get this thing to move in closer?"
"Hit zoom in the upper right-hand corner with the mouse."
Rhage zeroed in. She was feeding a couple of sparrows, throwing little pieces of her bagel at them. Every once in a while she'd lift her head and look around. The smile on her face was a private one, just a slight lift to her lips.
He touched the screen, brushing his fingertip against her face. "You know, you were wrong, my brother."
"Was I?"
"She is my destiny."
"Did I say she wasn't?"
Rhage looked across all the computer equipment, focusing on V's tattooed eye. "I am not her first lover. You told me my fate was a virgin. So you were wrong."
"I am never wrong."
Rhage frowned, rejecting out of hand the idea that some other female would mean more to him or would take Mary's place in his heart.
Man, fuck fate if it was going to try to make him love someone else. And to hell with V's prognostications.
"Must be nice to know it all," he muttered. "Or at least think you do."
As he turned and headed for the tunnel, his arm was gripped hard.
V's diamond eyes, usually so calm, were narrow and pissed off. "When I say I'm never wrong, I'm not on an ego trip. Seeing the future is a goddamned curse, my brother. You think I like knowing how everyone's going to die?'
Rhage recoiled and Vishous smiled coldly. "Yeah, chew on that. And then realize the only thing I don't know is the when, so I can't save any of you. Now, you want to tell me why I should showboat about this curse of mine?"
"Oh, God... my brother. I'm sorry..."
V blew out his breath. "S'all right. Look, how about you go get with your female? She's been thinking about you all afternoon. No offense, but I'm getting tired of hearing her voice in my head."
Mary leaned back against the great brass doors and looked up. Overhead, the sky was a brilliant expanse of blue, the air dry and crisp after the previous night's unseasonably early snowfall. Before the sun set, she wanted to walk the grounds, but the warmth coming through her parka made her lethargic. Or maybe it was just exhaustion. She hadn't been able to sleep after Rhage left their room, had spent all day long hoping he'd come back.
She had no idea what had happened last night. Wasn't even sure that she'd seen what she thought she had. For chrissakes, tattoos did not levitate off someone's skin. And they did not move. At least, not in her world.
Rhage wasn't the only reason for insomnia, though. It was time to find out what the doctors were going to do to her. The appointment with Dr. Delia Croce was tomorrow, and when it was over, she was going to know how bad the treatments were going to be.
God... She wanted to talk to Rhage about all that. To try to get him prepared.
As the sun dipped below the tree line, a chill sank into her.
Standing up, she stretched and then went through the first of the doors into the vestibule. When those had closed, she showed her face to a camera and the inner set opened.
Rhage was sitting on the floor right next to the entrance. He got up slowly. "Hi. I've been waiting for you."
She smiled awkwardly, shifting her book back and forth between her hands. "I wanted to tell you where I was. But you'd left your cell phone behind when you"
"Mary, listen, about last night"
"Wait, before we start on that." She held up her hand. Took a deep breath. "I'm going to the hospital tomorrow. For the consultation before treatment starts."
His frown went so deep, his eyebrows met in the middle of his forehead. "Which hospital?"
"Saint Francis."
"What time?"
"In the afternoon."
"I want someone to go with you."
"A doggen?"
He shook his head. "Butch. The cop's good with a gun, and I don't want you unprotected. Look, can we go upstairs?"
She nodded and he took her hand, leading her up to the second floor. When they were in their bedroom, he paced incessantly while she sat on the bed.
As they talked about the doctor's appointment, it turned out preparing him was more like preparing herself. And then they were silent.
"Rhage, explain to me what happened last night." As he hesitated, she said, "Whatever it is, we'll get through it. You can tell me anything."
He stopped. Faced her. "I'm dangerous."
She frowned. "No, you aren't."
"You know what's all over my back?"
With a chill, she thought about the tattoo moving
Hold up, she told herself. It hadn't done that. He'd been breathing hard or something, and that was why the thing had appeared to have shifted positions.
"Mary, it's part of me. The beast. It's inside of me." He rubbed his chest and then his arms. Now his thighs. "I try to control it as best I can. But it... I don't want to hurt you. I don't know what to do. Even now, being around you, I'm... Christ, I'm a fucking mess."
As he held out hands that trembled, he did look totally strung out.
"Part of the reason why I have to fight is that combat brings me down," he said. "And it's what the females were about. I took them because the release helped keep the beast at bay. Except now that I can't have sex, I'm unstable. That's why, last night, I almost lost it. Twice."
"Wait a... What are you talking about? You have me. Make love with me."
"I can't let that happen anymore," he said through gritted teeth. "I can't... lay with you anymore."
Stunned, she just stared at him. "You mean, you won't be with me at all? Ever again?"
He shook his head. "Never."
"What the hell? You want me." Her eyes flicked down to the thick bulge in his pants. "I can see you're hard. I can smell the need you have for me."
Suddenly his eyes stopped blinking and flashed white.
"Why do your eyes change?" she whispered.
"Because it... comes alive."
As she fell silent, he began to breathe in a strange rhythm. Two draws in, one long exhale. Two short gasps, one slow blow.
She struggled to come to grips with what he was saying. And failed, for the most part. He must mean that he had some kind of hard-core alter ego, she thought.
"Mary, I can't... lay with you because... when I'm with you it wants out." Two more quick breaths. "It wants..."
"What, exactly?"
"It wants you." He backed away from her. "Mary, it wants to... be inside of you. Do you understand what I'm saying? My other side wants to take you. I... I have to go now."
"Wait!" He stopped at the door. Their eyes met. "So let him have me."
Rhage's mouth dropped open. "Are you insane?"
No, she wasn't. They'd had sex with a desperation that had bordered on violence. She'd felt his hard thrusts before. If this other personality of his was tough, she figured she could handle it.
"Just let yourself go. It's all right."
Two short gasps. One long sigh. "Mary, you don't know... what the fuck you are saying."
She tried to make light of it. "What are you going to do? Eat me?"
When he just stared at her with those white eyes, she went cold. Jesus, maybe he had a point.
But she was definitely insane.
"We'll tie you down," she said.
He shook his head as he tripped over his feet and grabbed the doorknob. "I don't want to chance it."
"Wait! Do you know for sure what will happen?"
"No." He scratched his neck and shoulders, twitching.
"Is there a possibility you'll just have the release you need?"
"Maybe."
"So we'll try it. I'll run if... well, if something weird happens. Rhage, let me do this for us. Besides, what's the alternative? I move out? We don't see each other? We never have sex again? I mean, come on, you're so itchy right now you're about to jump out of your skin."
Fear flooded into his face, tightening his mouth, widening his eyes. Shame followed on its heels, a terrible, gut-wrenching misery that carried her across the room to him. She took his hands, feeling them shake.
"I hate to see you like this, Rhage." When he started to speak, she cut him off. "Look, you know what we're dealing with here. I don't. Do what you have to do to secure yourself and we'll... see what happens."
He stared down at her. She wanted to press him, but had a feeling that would only push him in the opposite direction.
"Let me go talk to V," he said finally.
"Chains," Rhage repeated, while standing in the middle of the Pit's living room.
V looked over the top of his computer screen. "Like what kind?"
"The ones you'd tow a car with."
Butch came in from the kitchen, Bud in one hand, sandwich in the other. "Hey, big man. S'up?"
"I want the two of you to chain me to my bed."
"Kinky."
"So do we have something we can use, V?"
Vishous repositioned his Sox hat. "The garage. I think there are some in the garage. But Rhage, man, what are you thinking?"
"I need to... be with Mary. But I don't want to go through the" He stopped. Exhaled. "I'm afraid of changing. Too juiced."
V's pale eyes narrowed. "And you gave up the other females, didn't you?"
Rhage nodded. "I only want Mary. I couldn't even get hard for anyone else at this point."
"Ah, shit, man," Vishous said under his breath.
"Why's monogamy a bad thing?" Butch asked as he sat down and popped open the can of beer. "I mean, that's a damn fine woman you got. Mary's good people."
V shook his head. "Remember what you saw in that clearing, cop? How'd you like that anywhere near a female you loved?"
Butch put down the Bud without drinking from it. His eyes traveled over Rhage's body.
"We're going to need a shitload of steel," the human muttered.
He was a live wire, the burn in him a roar he couldn't get rid of no matter how exhausted he was or how much weight he lifted or how far he ran. At this point, not that he'd even consider it, he couldn't imagine that having sex with a hundred different females would bring him down.
There was no escape for him, but he had to talk to Mary. He dreaded telling her he'd been condemned a century ago and had no idea how to explain that the beast wanted to have sex with her. But she needed to know why he stayed away.
He braced himself and opened their bedroom door. She wasn't there.
He went downstairs and found Fritz in the kitchen.
"Have you seen Mary?" he asked, doing his best to keep his voice level.
"Yes, sire. She departed."
Rhage's blood went glacial. "Where was she headed?"
"She didn't say."
"Did she take anything with her? Purse? Overnight bag?"
"A book. A bagel. A parka."
Outside. Rhage hit the underground tunnel and was at the Pit in half a minute. He pounded on the door.
Vishous took his damn time answering and was sporting boxer shorts and bed head when he did. "What the"
"Mary's out of the house. By herself. I need to find her."
V went from rubbing his eyes and looking cranked-off to being totally focused. He went to his computer, called up every exterior image he had, and found her curled up in the sun right against the mansion's front doors. Which was smart. If anything came at her, she'd be able to get into the vestibule in the work of a moment.
Rhage took a deep breath. "How do you get this thing to move in closer?"
"Hit zoom in the upper right-hand corner with the mouse."
Rhage zeroed in. She was feeding a couple of sparrows, throwing little pieces of her bagel at them. Every once in a while she'd lift her head and look around. The smile on her face was a private one, just a slight lift to her lips.
He touched the screen, brushing his fingertip against her face. "You know, you were wrong, my brother."
"Was I?"
"She is my destiny."
"Did I say she wasn't?"
Rhage looked across all the computer equipment, focusing on V's tattooed eye. "I am not her first lover. You told me my fate was a virgin. So you were wrong."
"I am never wrong."
Rhage frowned, rejecting out of hand the idea that some other female would mean more to him or would take Mary's place in his heart.
Man, fuck fate if it was going to try to make him love someone else. And to hell with V's prognostications.
"Must be nice to know it all," he muttered. "Or at least think you do."
As he turned and headed for the tunnel, his arm was gripped hard.
V's diamond eyes, usually so calm, were narrow and pissed off. "When I say I'm never wrong, I'm not on an ego trip. Seeing the future is a goddamned curse, my brother. You think I like knowing how everyone's going to die?'
Rhage recoiled and Vishous smiled coldly. "Yeah, chew on that. And then realize the only thing I don't know is the when, so I can't save any of you. Now, you want to tell me why I should showboat about this curse of mine?"
"Oh, God... my brother. I'm sorry..."
V blew out his breath. "S'all right. Look, how about you go get with your female? She's been thinking about you all afternoon. No offense, but I'm getting tired of hearing her voice in my head."
Mary leaned back against the great brass doors and looked up. Overhead, the sky was a brilliant expanse of blue, the air dry and crisp after the previous night's unseasonably early snowfall. Before the sun set, she wanted to walk the grounds, but the warmth coming through her parka made her lethargic. Or maybe it was just exhaustion. She hadn't been able to sleep after Rhage left their room, had spent all day long hoping he'd come back.
She had no idea what had happened last night. Wasn't even sure that she'd seen what she thought she had. For chrissakes, tattoos did not levitate off someone's skin. And they did not move. At least, not in her world.
Rhage wasn't the only reason for insomnia, though. It was time to find out what the doctors were going to do to her. The appointment with Dr. Delia Croce was tomorrow, and when it was over, she was going to know how bad the treatments were going to be.
God... She wanted to talk to Rhage about all that. To try to get him prepared.
As the sun dipped below the tree line, a chill sank into her.
Standing up, she stretched and then went through the first of the doors into the vestibule. When those had closed, she showed her face to a camera and the inner set opened.
Rhage was sitting on the floor right next to the entrance. He got up slowly. "Hi. I've been waiting for you."
She smiled awkwardly, shifting her book back and forth between her hands. "I wanted to tell you where I was. But you'd left your cell phone behind when you"
"Mary, listen, about last night"
"Wait, before we start on that." She held up her hand. Took a deep breath. "I'm going to the hospital tomorrow. For the consultation before treatment starts."
His frown went so deep, his eyebrows met in the middle of his forehead. "Which hospital?"
"Saint Francis."
"What time?"
"In the afternoon."
"I want someone to go with you."
"A doggen?"
He shook his head. "Butch. The cop's good with a gun, and I don't want you unprotected. Look, can we go upstairs?"
She nodded and he took her hand, leading her up to the second floor. When they were in their bedroom, he paced incessantly while she sat on the bed.
As they talked about the doctor's appointment, it turned out preparing him was more like preparing herself. And then they were silent.
"Rhage, explain to me what happened last night." As he hesitated, she said, "Whatever it is, we'll get through it. You can tell me anything."
He stopped. Faced her. "I'm dangerous."
She frowned. "No, you aren't."
"You know what's all over my back?"
With a chill, she thought about the tattoo moving
Hold up, she told herself. It hadn't done that. He'd been breathing hard or something, and that was why the thing had appeared to have shifted positions.
"Mary, it's part of me. The beast. It's inside of me." He rubbed his chest and then his arms. Now his thighs. "I try to control it as best I can. But it... I don't want to hurt you. I don't know what to do. Even now, being around you, I'm... Christ, I'm a fucking mess."
As he held out hands that trembled, he did look totally strung out.
"Part of the reason why I have to fight is that combat brings me down," he said. "And it's what the females were about. I took them because the release helped keep the beast at bay. Except now that I can't have sex, I'm unstable. That's why, last night, I almost lost it. Twice."
"Wait a... What are you talking about? You have me. Make love with me."
"I can't let that happen anymore," he said through gritted teeth. "I can't... lay with you anymore."
Stunned, she just stared at him. "You mean, you won't be with me at all? Ever again?"
He shook his head. "Never."
"What the hell? You want me." Her eyes flicked down to the thick bulge in his pants. "I can see you're hard. I can smell the need you have for me."
Suddenly his eyes stopped blinking and flashed white.
"Why do your eyes change?" she whispered.
"Because it... comes alive."
As she fell silent, he began to breathe in a strange rhythm. Two draws in, one long exhale. Two short gasps, one slow blow.
She struggled to come to grips with what he was saying. And failed, for the most part. He must mean that he had some kind of hard-core alter ego, she thought.
"Mary, I can't... lay with you because... when I'm with you it wants out." Two more quick breaths. "It wants..."
"What, exactly?"
"It wants you." He backed away from her. "Mary, it wants to... be inside of you. Do you understand what I'm saying? My other side wants to take you. I... I have to go now."
"Wait!" He stopped at the door. Their eyes met. "So let him have me."
Rhage's mouth dropped open. "Are you insane?"
No, she wasn't. They'd had sex with a desperation that had bordered on violence. She'd felt his hard thrusts before. If this other personality of his was tough, she figured she could handle it.
"Just let yourself go. It's all right."
Two short gasps. One long sigh. "Mary, you don't know... what the fuck you are saying."
She tried to make light of it. "What are you going to do? Eat me?"
When he just stared at her with those white eyes, she went cold. Jesus, maybe he had a point.
But she was definitely insane.
"We'll tie you down," she said.
He shook his head as he tripped over his feet and grabbed the doorknob. "I don't want to chance it."
"Wait! Do you know for sure what will happen?"
"No." He scratched his neck and shoulders, twitching.
"Is there a possibility you'll just have the release you need?"
"Maybe."
"So we'll try it. I'll run if... well, if something weird happens. Rhage, let me do this for us. Besides, what's the alternative? I move out? We don't see each other? We never have sex again? I mean, come on, you're so itchy right now you're about to jump out of your skin."
Fear flooded into his face, tightening his mouth, widening his eyes. Shame followed on its heels, a terrible, gut-wrenching misery that carried her across the room to him. She took his hands, feeling them shake.
"I hate to see you like this, Rhage." When he started to speak, she cut him off. "Look, you know what we're dealing with here. I don't. Do what you have to do to secure yourself and we'll... see what happens."
He stared down at her. She wanted to press him, but had a feeling that would only push him in the opposite direction.
"Let me go talk to V," he said finally.
"Chains," Rhage repeated, while standing in the middle of the Pit's living room.
V looked over the top of his computer screen. "Like what kind?"
"The ones you'd tow a car with."
Butch came in from the kitchen, Bud in one hand, sandwich in the other. "Hey, big man. S'up?"
"I want the two of you to chain me to my bed."
"Kinky."
"So do we have something we can use, V?"
Vishous repositioned his Sox hat. "The garage. I think there are some in the garage. But Rhage, man, what are you thinking?"
"I need to... be with Mary. But I don't want to go through the" He stopped. Exhaled. "I'm afraid of changing. Too juiced."
V's pale eyes narrowed. "And you gave up the other females, didn't you?"
Rhage nodded. "I only want Mary. I couldn't even get hard for anyone else at this point."
"Ah, shit, man," Vishous said under his breath.
"Why's monogamy a bad thing?" Butch asked as he sat down and popped open the can of beer. "I mean, that's a damn fine woman you got. Mary's good people."
V shook his head. "Remember what you saw in that clearing, cop? How'd you like that anywhere near a female you loved?"
Butch put down the Bud without drinking from it. His eyes traveled over Rhage's body.
"We're going to need a shitload of steel," the human muttered.
