Loving Lawson
Page 17
My backpack fell from my hands in shock. I took a hesitant step forward. “Why were you told to pay it off?”
“Because I’m his brother. This is the kind of shit these people will do, Allie. It’s not new.”
“How long have you known this?”
“I knew about the dollar amount two nights ago. The actual guy showed up a while back and told me he’d let me know about it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me right away?”
Those deep brown eyes went up to meet mine. He licked his lip slowly, uttering, “Because you didn’t deserve to be weighed down by him. I didn’t want you to worry. I wanted you to focus on your pregnancy and classes. You don’t need his shit on top of it all.”
Slowly I went to him and took a seat on the edge of the bed beside him. Horror and fear settled in. These were bad people.
“Heath, we have to go to the police.”
“We go to the police, they’ll know about it. They’ll go after Ryker in jail. They’re that connected.”
“How much money are we talking about here?”
“Fifty grand.”
My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. “What?”
He nodded slowly, pursing his lips. “Yeah. Thug is demanding fifteen by next Sunday.”
I felt nothing short of horror. “Where are we going to get that kind of money from? I knew I should have been working. I should have –”
“Don’t you dare blame yourself for anything,” he cut in sternly. “It’s not the time for ‘shoulda, coulda’. It’s the time for figuring it out, okay?”
I nodded, but it didn’t ease my concerns. Anxiety gripped me to the core.
“Now I’ve got fifty two hundred put aside for the baby already,” he continued. “I’m going to have to use it. I’ve got a fight this Friday. That could easily be another five grand in the bag. Which means from now until then we have to come up with another five, and I can’t see anything around this apartment that’ll sell for that kind of money.”
“So what are we going to do to make it up?”
“I might have to ask around.” He sighed slowly. “Not a lot of people are cashed up around here, but it’s worth a shot.”
I didn’t say anything. My brain was running on worse case scenarios. What would they do if we didn’t come up with the full fifteen grand? Where were going to get the remainder of the fifty from if they gave us another absurdly short deadline?
“I’m going to head out and start asking around,” he then said, standing up.
“You need to rest first,” I replied. “You look like you haven’t slept a wink –”
“I don’t have time to rest. I gotta get on top of this.”
I didn’t argue with him, though I wanted to. His movements were slow and unbalanced. He looked unwell and hardly able to concentrate as he went around the apartment, changing into a fresh pair of clothes but still smelling wretched.
He went out and I could do nothing but go to class. I had no one to turn to for money, except… well, my mother, but she wasn’t picking up any of my calls. Even when I was calling from a phone booth, she was dodging foreign numbers with a passion.
After morning classes, I returned home and neglected my homework. I couldn’t think of anything but this goddamn debt. I rummaged through my belongings, searching for anything that might sell. I found a pair of gold earrings Ryker gave me on my eighteenth birthday, and upon going through his stuff, I pulled out several watches that he’d spoiled himself over the months before his arrest.
I headed back out and took a bus to the nearest pawn shop. Tired myself, I pushed through, walking a few blocks in the heat to get there. My stomach ached, and I had to stop several times to rub my bump and gulp some water down. When I finally made it, I discovered my earrings weren’t real gold and were virtually worthless, and Ryker’s watches combined totalled to three hundred dollars. Not caring that he loved them, I handed them over. He could live without them – after all, this was his damn debt.
On my way back, I stopped by several shops and filled out some resumes. I tried to hide my bump, which wasn’t that difficult when I was wearing a baggy shirt and still looked tiny. If I got something soon, I might be able to rub some coin together before the baby was born.
Baby.
Jesus. At this rate, I wasn’t sure I could take care of another soul.
My life was a mess.
Heath wasn’t home when I got back. I made myself something to eat before collapsing into his bed. I couldn’t sleep in Ryker’s room after Heath had obliterated it. I threw the cash on the dresser and pulled the covers over top of me. My stomach ached, my body felt weak, and my feet were swelling badly.
Sleep won over eventually, especially when the scent of Heath clung heavily in the sheets around me.
*
I woke up to a hot body against my back and his thick arm around my waist. The first thing I thought was he smelled good, like he’d taken a shower. The room was dark, and judging by the darkness outside, I knew it was well into the night.
“Heath,” I whispered, “are you awake?”
“Yeah,” he immediately responded, sounding more awake than ever. “I am.”
“Any luck?”
“Jorge loaned me five hundred dollars.”
“That’s good.” Better than nothing. “I pawned Ryker’s watches. Three hundred dollars.”
“When did you do that?”
“In the afternoon. It was the nearby shop a few blocks down.”
He sighed unhappily. “I don’t like you walking around these streets. I don’t like you tiring yourself out either.”
I shrugged. “Do you expect me to do nothing about this?”
“I’d rather you didn’t.”
Doing nothing was out of the question. To throw this kind of burden on Heath’s shoulders solely was absurd.
“I wish there was more I could do,” I said, feeling let down by how little I could contribute.
“Three hundred dollars is great, Allie.”
Despite everything, my body warmed from his words. He was speaking to me like normal, showing no signs of the angry Heath from this morning. This was the part of him I needed the most. I didn’t want what we did to curse our relationship. I would take this side of him happily if it was the best I could get.
“I’m sorry for everything,” I suddenly said with remorse, “I didn’t mean to ruin things with you.”
“You ruined nothing,” he replied, kissing the back of my head before nuzzling his nose into my hair. “You’re perfect, and I regret nothing when it comes to being with you.”
“But you said –”
“I panicked. I lost my shit and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry for running out. I shouldn’t have. The last thing I want is for you to get treated like shit by another Lawson boy. I don’t want you to hate me.”
I shook my head. “You’ve never treated me badly, and the last thing I could ever do is hate you, Heath.”
He squeezed me tighter against him. We said nothing else, but our bodies entwined in a way that was far from neutral. I tried to understand what this meant. I didn’t know if this was his way of pushing us back into what we were before that night, or if the paradigm had shifted and this was the beginning of something else.
Regardless, I wouldn’t beg for his touch, even though it was constantly at the tip of my tongue. I left the fate of us in his hands.
Fourteen
Heath
I couldn’t sleep.
The days flew by, but the nights went by achingly slow. I was a fucking mess.
Sixty two hundred dollars.
That’s what we had by Friday morning. I was losing my shit. I needed to win tonight’s fight. Needed a cool five or six grand to add to that amount. At most, I could squeeze a few hundred dollars from the rent, but that meant being hounded by the landlord next week. That stingy bastard was at your door if you were an hour overdue.
I rubbed my face as the sun peeked through the blinds, burning up the room with its rays. I imagined it taunting me. Telling me I had two more mornings to go.
The stress was unbearable.
The body next to me shifted just slightly. I looked over at Allie, curled up on her side with her back to me. I had to pretend I was asleep every time she woke up in the middle of the night to get to the toilet. I didn’t want her to know about the storm within me.
God, if anything happens to her…
That was what killed me the most. If I didn’t get the money in time, what would they do to her? I couldn’t live with myself if I failed her. Just thinking about it hurt. I moved closer to her and wrapped an arm around her waist. I pulled her back against me, into the same position she’d been sleeping in these last few nights. Her scent, her touch, the sound of her breaths – all of it helped to calm me down and centre me out. She seemed to be the only thing that could push away a horrible situation and make me forget for a little while.
I lightly trailed kisses along her shoulder and up the side of her neck. I kissed the skin below her ear and breathed in the scent of her hair. Still she used my shampoo, and fuck, it drove me crazy. It made me pretend for a second that she was marked by me, and it disturbed me a little more that the idea placated me.
She moved a little again. Her ass was against my pelvis, and the smallest movements caused it to rub against me. I tensed and shut my eyes tightly. Leave it to fucking Allie to give me a hard on while she was still sleeping. I had a couple hours to kill before work, and if it was spent with her against my cock like this, I was going to blow up.
Minutes later and I was fighting the urge to grind against her. I kept my arm firmly wrapped around her waist, but my hips were flushed against the back of her. I was rock solid, desperate with the need to fuck her again. Breathing through my mouth, kissing up her neck, until it occurred to me her breathing had completely gone still.
She was awake.
“Allie,” I whispered in her ear.
“Y-yeah,” she stuttered out.
I was subtle at first. Constant tiny movements. The only sounds were clothing rubbing against clothing. She quivered, and I felt every shake reverberate into me. My kisses turned to delicate licks, from her shoulder blades up to the back of her neck. I lightly sucked her earlobe and by then she was full blown panting.
In fact, we both were.
Something about her made me lose my senses. I didn’t understand it, even the second time around. Every small touch, though light and seemingly insignificant on the outside, was actually stinging me within. It was painful holding back, yet the ache was a satisfying one. My addiction had started with me just needing to be near her. And now… Now it was this.
Needing to touch her.
Needing to be inside her.
Needing her to need this too.
“You feel so damn good,” I told her.
She shook again. She liked me telling her these things, I knew.
I loosened my arm and brought my hand to her chest. She was bare. “Fucking perfect, Allie.” I took her breast into the palm of my hand, and through her shirt I pinched her nipple, feeling it instantly harden. She let out a whimper and pushed her ass harder into me.
“Yeah, you need this too, don’t you? I know you do.”
She nodded at my words. I let go of her breast and tugged her shorts down until it sat around her thighs. I slipped my hand to her soaking wet pussy and rubbed her. She bucked against me and moaned. I sucked her neck feverishly as I stroked her, pushing in between her folds and feeling the walls of her tight pussy.
Holy fucking shit.
It didn’t take long before she was crying out through her orgasm. I loved her sounds. Loved how real they were. Her hand travelled behind her, tugging eagerly at the hem of my pants. I immediately ditched them. I needed to feel her again.
She was still on her side when I pulled her leg up and set my dick against her entrance. In one swift move, I pushed right into her. She tensed at the intrusion, meanwhile my eyes rolled to the back of my head as her walls hugged every inch of me. She felt like she was squeezing me every time I pushed out.
Warm.
Wet.
Soft.
It was heaven.
I savoured it this time. I didn’t go hard and fast. She was emotional. I needed to consider that and make her feel treasured. She took me to a place where nothing existed but us. I wanted the same thing for her. I wanted her to forget the stress and just feel.
Feel every bit of this.
Every stroke.
Every kiss.
Every erotic word I whispered into her ear.
I clasped her tight against me, desperate to feel like one with her. Until we both cried out and shook in our release.
She was perfect.
I decided right then I was never letting go of Allie again.
Allie
The warehouse was packed.
Heath pushed through the crowd, keeping me against him as he made it to the centre of the room. He threw his shirt off and handed it to me, never once looking up to see his opponent. But I did, and holy hell the man was huge. Marko he was called, and Heath had never went against him before. He was new, and with his eerie life-like snake tattoos crawling all over his torso, he looked nothing short of sinister.
Usually I would say I was confident with Heath’s fighting. He’d never taken a loss. He was the unbeatable Lawson brother with fists of steel.
But tonight he was slow and mentally not present. After this morning’s unexpected sex, he had become completely introverted. I knew it wasn’t me personally. He was still touching me and holding me. He was just exhausted. He hadn’t had a decent sleep in over a week. It had caught up to him, and I was sure he was seeing double of everything.
“Because I’m his brother. This is the kind of shit these people will do, Allie. It’s not new.”
“How long have you known this?”
“I knew about the dollar amount two nights ago. The actual guy showed up a while back and told me he’d let me know about it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me right away?”
Those deep brown eyes went up to meet mine. He licked his lip slowly, uttering, “Because you didn’t deserve to be weighed down by him. I didn’t want you to worry. I wanted you to focus on your pregnancy and classes. You don’t need his shit on top of it all.”
Slowly I went to him and took a seat on the edge of the bed beside him. Horror and fear settled in. These were bad people.
“Heath, we have to go to the police.”
“We go to the police, they’ll know about it. They’ll go after Ryker in jail. They’re that connected.”
“How much money are we talking about here?”
“Fifty grand.”
My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. “What?”
He nodded slowly, pursing his lips. “Yeah. Thug is demanding fifteen by next Sunday.”
I felt nothing short of horror. “Where are we going to get that kind of money from? I knew I should have been working. I should have –”
“Don’t you dare blame yourself for anything,” he cut in sternly. “It’s not the time for ‘shoulda, coulda’. It’s the time for figuring it out, okay?”
I nodded, but it didn’t ease my concerns. Anxiety gripped me to the core.
“Now I’ve got fifty two hundred put aside for the baby already,” he continued. “I’m going to have to use it. I’ve got a fight this Friday. That could easily be another five grand in the bag. Which means from now until then we have to come up with another five, and I can’t see anything around this apartment that’ll sell for that kind of money.”
“So what are we going to do to make it up?”
“I might have to ask around.” He sighed slowly. “Not a lot of people are cashed up around here, but it’s worth a shot.”
I didn’t say anything. My brain was running on worse case scenarios. What would they do if we didn’t come up with the full fifteen grand? Where were going to get the remainder of the fifty from if they gave us another absurdly short deadline?
“I’m going to head out and start asking around,” he then said, standing up.
“You need to rest first,” I replied. “You look like you haven’t slept a wink –”
“I don’t have time to rest. I gotta get on top of this.”
I didn’t argue with him, though I wanted to. His movements were slow and unbalanced. He looked unwell and hardly able to concentrate as he went around the apartment, changing into a fresh pair of clothes but still smelling wretched.
He went out and I could do nothing but go to class. I had no one to turn to for money, except… well, my mother, but she wasn’t picking up any of my calls. Even when I was calling from a phone booth, she was dodging foreign numbers with a passion.
After morning classes, I returned home and neglected my homework. I couldn’t think of anything but this goddamn debt. I rummaged through my belongings, searching for anything that might sell. I found a pair of gold earrings Ryker gave me on my eighteenth birthday, and upon going through his stuff, I pulled out several watches that he’d spoiled himself over the months before his arrest.
I headed back out and took a bus to the nearest pawn shop. Tired myself, I pushed through, walking a few blocks in the heat to get there. My stomach ached, and I had to stop several times to rub my bump and gulp some water down. When I finally made it, I discovered my earrings weren’t real gold and were virtually worthless, and Ryker’s watches combined totalled to three hundred dollars. Not caring that he loved them, I handed them over. He could live without them – after all, this was his damn debt.
On my way back, I stopped by several shops and filled out some resumes. I tried to hide my bump, which wasn’t that difficult when I was wearing a baggy shirt and still looked tiny. If I got something soon, I might be able to rub some coin together before the baby was born.
Baby.
Jesus. At this rate, I wasn’t sure I could take care of another soul.
My life was a mess.
Heath wasn’t home when I got back. I made myself something to eat before collapsing into his bed. I couldn’t sleep in Ryker’s room after Heath had obliterated it. I threw the cash on the dresser and pulled the covers over top of me. My stomach ached, my body felt weak, and my feet were swelling badly.
Sleep won over eventually, especially when the scent of Heath clung heavily in the sheets around me.
*
I woke up to a hot body against my back and his thick arm around my waist. The first thing I thought was he smelled good, like he’d taken a shower. The room was dark, and judging by the darkness outside, I knew it was well into the night.
“Heath,” I whispered, “are you awake?”
“Yeah,” he immediately responded, sounding more awake than ever. “I am.”
“Any luck?”
“Jorge loaned me five hundred dollars.”
“That’s good.” Better than nothing. “I pawned Ryker’s watches. Three hundred dollars.”
“When did you do that?”
“In the afternoon. It was the nearby shop a few blocks down.”
He sighed unhappily. “I don’t like you walking around these streets. I don’t like you tiring yourself out either.”
I shrugged. “Do you expect me to do nothing about this?”
“I’d rather you didn’t.”
Doing nothing was out of the question. To throw this kind of burden on Heath’s shoulders solely was absurd.
“I wish there was more I could do,” I said, feeling let down by how little I could contribute.
“Three hundred dollars is great, Allie.”
Despite everything, my body warmed from his words. He was speaking to me like normal, showing no signs of the angry Heath from this morning. This was the part of him I needed the most. I didn’t want what we did to curse our relationship. I would take this side of him happily if it was the best I could get.
“I’m sorry for everything,” I suddenly said with remorse, “I didn’t mean to ruin things with you.”
“You ruined nothing,” he replied, kissing the back of my head before nuzzling his nose into my hair. “You’re perfect, and I regret nothing when it comes to being with you.”
“But you said –”
“I panicked. I lost my shit and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry for running out. I shouldn’t have. The last thing I want is for you to get treated like shit by another Lawson boy. I don’t want you to hate me.”
I shook my head. “You’ve never treated me badly, and the last thing I could ever do is hate you, Heath.”
He squeezed me tighter against him. We said nothing else, but our bodies entwined in a way that was far from neutral. I tried to understand what this meant. I didn’t know if this was his way of pushing us back into what we were before that night, or if the paradigm had shifted and this was the beginning of something else.
Regardless, I wouldn’t beg for his touch, even though it was constantly at the tip of my tongue. I left the fate of us in his hands.
Fourteen
Heath
I couldn’t sleep.
The days flew by, but the nights went by achingly slow. I was a fucking mess.
Sixty two hundred dollars.
That’s what we had by Friday morning. I was losing my shit. I needed to win tonight’s fight. Needed a cool five or six grand to add to that amount. At most, I could squeeze a few hundred dollars from the rent, but that meant being hounded by the landlord next week. That stingy bastard was at your door if you were an hour overdue.
I rubbed my face as the sun peeked through the blinds, burning up the room with its rays. I imagined it taunting me. Telling me I had two more mornings to go.
The stress was unbearable.
The body next to me shifted just slightly. I looked over at Allie, curled up on her side with her back to me. I had to pretend I was asleep every time she woke up in the middle of the night to get to the toilet. I didn’t want her to know about the storm within me.
God, if anything happens to her…
That was what killed me the most. If I didn’t get the money in time, what would they do to her? I couldn’t live with myself if I failed her. Just thinking about it hurt. I moved closer to her and wrapped an arm around her waist. I pulled her back against me, into the same position she’d been sleeping in these last few nights. Her scent, her touch, the sound of her breaths – all of it helped to calm me down and centre me out. She seemed to be the only thing that could push away a horrible situation and make me forget for a little while.
I lightly trailed kisses along her shoulder and up the side of her neck. I kissed the skin below her ear and breathed in the scent of her hair. Still she used my shampoo, and fuck, it drove me crazy. It made me pretend for a second that she was marked by me, and it disturbed me a little more that the idea placated me.
She moved a little again. Her ass was against my pelvis, and the smallest movements caused it to rub against me. I tensed and shut my eyes tightly. Leave it to fucking Allie to give me a hard on while she was still sleeping. I had a couple hours to kill before work, and if it was spent with her against my cock like this, I was going to blow up.
Minutes later and I was fighting the urge to grind against her. I kept my arm firmly wrapped around her waist, but my hips were flushed against the back of her. I was rock solid, desperate with the need to fuck her again. Breathing through my mouth, kissing up her neck, until it occurred to me her breathing had completely gone still.
She was awake.
“Allie,” I whispered in her ear.
“Y-yeah,” she stuttered out.
I was subtle at first. Constant tiny movements. The only sounds were clothing rubbing against clothing. She quivered, and I felt every shake reverberate into me. My kisses turned to delicate licks, from her shoulder blades up to the back of her neck. I lightly sucked her earlobe and by then she was full blown panting.
In fact, we both were.
Something about her made me lose my senses. I didn’t understand it, even the second time around. Every small touch, though light and seemingly insignificant on the outside, was actually stinging me within. It was painful holding back, yet the ache was a satisfying one. My addiction had started with me just needing to be near her. And now… Now it was this.
Needing to touch her.
Needing to be inside her.
Needing her to need this too.
“You feel so damn good,” I told her.
She shook again. She liked me telling her these things, I knew.
I loosened my arm and brought my hand to her chest. She was bare. “Fucking perfect, Allie.” I took her breast into the palm of my hand, and through her shirt I pinched her nipple, feeling it instantly harden. She let out a whimper and pushed her ass harder into me.
“Yeah, you need this too, don’t you? I know you do.”
She nodded at my words. I let go of her breast and tugged her shorts down until it sat around her thighs. I slipped my hand to her soaking wet pussy and rubbed her. She bucked against me and moaned. I sucked her neck feverishly as I stroked her, pushing in between her folds and feeling the walls of her tight pussy.
Holy fucking shit.
It didn’t take long before she was crying out through her orgasm. I loved her sounds. Loved how real they were. Her hand travelled behind her, tugging eagerly at the hem of my pants. I immediately ditched them. I needed to feel her again.
She was still on her side when I pulled her leg up and set my dick against her entrance. In one swift move, I pushed right into her. She tensed at the intrusion, meanwhile my eyes rolled to the back of my head as her walls hugged every inch of me. She felt like she was squeezing me every time I pushed out.
Warm.
Wet.
Soft.
It was heaven.
I savoured it this time. I didn’t go hard and fast. She was emotional. I needed to consider that and make her feel treasured. She took me to a place where nothing existed but us. I wanted the same thing for her. I wanted her to forget the stress and just feel.
Feel every bit of this.
Every stroke.
Every kiss.
Every erotic word I whispered into her ear.
I clasped her tight against me, desperate to feel like one with her. Until we both cried out and shook in our release.
She was perfect.
I decided right then I was never letting go of Allie again.
Allie
The warehouse was packed.
Heath pushed through the crowd, keeping me against him as he made it to the centre of the room. He threw his shirt off and handed it to me, never once looking up to see his opponent. But I did, and holy hell the man was huge. Marko he was called, and Heath had never went against him before. He was new, and with his eerie life-like snake tattoos crawling all over his torso, he looked nothing short of sinister.
Usually I would say I was confident with Heath’s fighting. He’d never taken a loss. He was the unbeatable Lawson brother with fists of steel.
But tonight he was slow and mentally not present. After this morning’s unexpected sex, he had become completely introverted. I knew it wasn’t me personally. He was still touching me and holding me. He was just exhausted. He hadn’t had a decent sleep in over a week. It had caught up to him, and I was sure he was seeing double of everything.
