Lucas

Page 59

* * * *
Kathryn’s brother was waiting when Lucas finally got home to his ranch. Kurt had him sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of hot tea and the remains of a sandwich in front of him. Lucas eyed the food, then lifted his gaze to Kurt, one eyebrow cocked curiously.
“Judy made the sandwich,” Kurt explained. “And we had the tea.”
“I see,” Lucas murmured. He heard Kathryn come in behind him. Dan had been watching the exchange between Lucas and Kurt, more curious than frightened. Not that he had anything to fear from Lucas—Kathryn would stake him in his sleep if he touched one hair on her precious brother’s head. But it was surprising, given his recent captivity, that Dan Hunter retained as much of himself as he did. It spoke to strength of character, and courage, too. Kathryn had raised him well, Lucas thought dryly.
“Can I hug you now?” Kathryn demanded, bypassing Lucas to go directly to her brother’s side.
He grinned, and Lucas abruptly saw the resemblance between them. The brother’s hair was darker, his features obviously heavier, more masculine, but the eyes were the same deep blue, and that grin was what Kathryn’s would have been if her life hadn’t wrapped her up so tightly in responsibilities. Most especially a baby brother.
Dan Hunter stood, and brother and sister hugged. He was a good three inches taller than Kathryn, and yet when they hugged it was the hug of a mother and child. Lucas watched and felt an answering tug in his soul, the yearning of a child who’d never had that kind of security. Or who’d lost it so young that it was only a faint memory.
Kathryn ran her fingers through her brother’s hair. “Did you call Penny?”
“First thing.”
“Are you going back to California right away?”
“I don’t know,” he said carelessly. “I never finished what I wanted to do here, and there’s the new collection to work on. You said my gear’s at the sheriff’s? All of it?”
“Yeah,” she said, not concealing her surprise at his answer. “You sure you don’t want to go home? Or you can come to my place, if you want.”
“No. I’m gonna hang out here with Kurt awhile.”
Kathryn’s sharp gaze flashed to Kurt, who gave her a conspiratorial wink.
“Huh,” she said, then turned her attention back to Daniel. “Sit, baby,” she said, urging him back into his seat.
Lucas almost growled. She never called him “baby,” he thought, then nearly laughed out loud. What? He was jealous of her damn brother? Maybe he should let her leave if this was what she turned him into.
“Kathryn,” Lucas said softly, trying not to sound as irritated as he felt.
She turned to him, eyes wide in dismay. Or maybe guilt. “I’m sorry,” she said. “Dan, this is Lucas Donlon. He’s been helping me look for you. Lucas, my brother, Daniel.”
Dan stood again and took a step closer to Lucas to offer his hand. But his expression, when he met Lucas’s gaze, was no longer that of a beloved baby anything. It was full of warning and protectiveness, a look that said, hurt my sister and die.
“Kurt’s told me all about you, Lord Donlon.”
Lucas gripped the boy’s hand, just managing to curb the instinct to crush his too fragile human bones. If not for Kathryn watching every nuance, he might have.
“You’re a lucky man,” Lucas said instead, “to have someone like your sister care so deeply about you.”
“I am,” Dan agreed. “And she deserves the best.”
Lucas nearly laughed at the obvious but unspoken threat. He bared his teeth. “Don’t push it, boy,” he growled
“Stop it!” Kathryn hissed. “Both of you. Dan. Sit down and drink your tea, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” She turned her glare on Lucas. “Can we talk?”
“Of course,” Lucas replied smoothly. “Let’s take this to my office.” He pushed open the kitchen’s swinging door and gestured for her to precede him, giving the brother a dark look over his shoulder as he followed.
“What the hell was that?” Kathryn demanded once they were safely behind the closed door of his office.
“Ask your baby brother,” Lucas responded loftily. “He’s the one who tried to break my fingers with his feeble human handshake.” He circled his desk and slumped down into his comfortable chair, picking up a sword-shaped letter opener to play with.
“I can’t believe this. You’re jealous of my brother?”
“If you say so.”
“There’s no reason—” she started furiously.
“Tell me, Kathryn,” he interrupted, raising his eyes to meet hers. “What are your plans?”
She froze mid-sentence. “What?”
“Your plans. You’ve found your brother, and he’s apparently staying here. Should be interesting, by the way. But what about you?”
Kathryn stared at him as she sank wordlessly into one of the chairs in front of his desk. “I can’t stay here, Lucas,” she admitted softly. “My job—”
“Your job. That’s it, then? You and I mean nothing?”
“We live thousands of miles apart,” she pleaded. “And I don’t exactly work nine to five. This is the most I’ve taken off work in . . . ever. Even if we traded off visiting each other—”
“Which I can’t do,” Lucas said, throwing the letter opener onto his desk. “Virginia belongs to another lord. I can’t go there.”
“But you expect me to give up my life,” she said, making it a statement, not a question.
“Your job is your life? I doubt that. So what’s the real problem here, Kathryn?”
“Fine. My problem is that relationships have a way of taking over. It starts out being fun, and pretty soon you’re giving up time with friends, skipping out on work, and then before you know it, your life isn’t your own anymore. It’s someone else’s.”
“News flash, love. That’s a two-way street. You’re not the only one being asked to give up something.”
“But I don’t want you to give up anything! I don’t want either one of us to give up anything. I just want my life to be mine. I spent twenty years taking care of my brother, and my father, too. I lived for their needs, their wants, their everything, and I promised myself that when Dan was grown I’d never do it again.”
“Except here you are,” he responded bitterly. “Rushing in once more to save your brother. Obviously, you’re not as free as you thought,” he added, surprisingly hurt by her words, by the idea that she considered what they had to be a burden, rather than a gift.
“But I love my brother. I can’t just turn off my feelings, you know.”
Lucas stared at her, concentrating on sitting perfectly still, on not showing any of the pain her words were causing him. Not that it seemed to matter. She was completely unaware of what she’d said.
Lucas stood from behind his desk, the big leather chair gliding away noiselessly. “At least not the feelings you have for your brother,” he commented flatly. “Be safe, Kathryn. Nick will provide any assistance you require in arranging transportation.” He strode across the room, heading for his private entrance.
“Lucas,” Kathryn pleaded as he pulled the door open. “Don’t leave like this.”
But Lucas didn’t turn around, didn’t even look. There was nothing more to say.
Nick was coming down the hall as Lucas closed the door behind him, Kathryn’s words still playing in his head.
“My lord,” Nick said, hurrying forward. “I was just coming to your office.” He paused, catching the expression on Lucas’s face, and probably a whiff of his emotions, as well. “My lord? Did something happen?”
“Nothing. Agent Hunter will be leaving. Give her whatever help she needs. Where’s Mason?”
“Down at the stables, I believe, with a few of the others.”
“Get him up here. I’m going to the homestead. The sooner the better, Nick.”
* * * *
Kathryn stood in Lucas’s office, staring at the door he’d shut in her face. She could open it. She could chase him down and force him to talk to her, to let her explain. But what was the point? Everything she’d told him was true. They did live thousands of miles apart, and she’d known when she said it that he couldn’t visit her in Virginia. Which meant, regardless of Lucas’s fine words about compromise, she’d be the one expected to turn her life on its side once more. Lucas would still be here, on his ranch, with all of his people around him. Still the big, fucking lord of the realm. While she’d be giving up the only thing that had ever been truly hers. Her job.
So, instead, you’re giving up Lucas?
She swatted away the voice in her head. Who said she’d ever had Lucas to give up in the first place? They’d known each other for a few days, a week. Big deal. They hadn’t even gotten past the lust phase of a relationship, much less anything else. Okay, so she’d never actually been in lust like this before, but her friends had, and they’d told her all about it. In great, fucking detail. With an emphasis on the fucking. So, maybe that’s all this was with Lucas—a few days of great sex.
But even if it wasn’t, even if they’d managed to stick it out a month, or a year, it would mean compromising on her job. Being with the FBI was the only thing she’d ever wanted to do. And if she wasn’t willing to give that up in order to be with Lucas, then maybe it wasn’t love, after all.
The pictures on the wall next to Lucas’s desk caught her eye, the ones she’d admired at the very beginning, the ones Dan had taken in Ireland. She smiled sadly, thinking about a young Lucas crossing those fields with his mother, only to be turned away by the very people who should have protected them. She went over and touched the image of a running horse, sighing softly. Maybe Lucas was right. There was no sense in raising hope where there was none. Maybe a clean break was best.