Luna of Mine
Page 20
She leaned her head back on his shoulder so that his mouth was next to her ear. She shuddered as his warm breath caressed her skin as he spoke.
I nearly killed him when I found your blouse in his bed, he confessed. I have never wanted to rip a man to shreds more than I ever had in that moment.
I am sorry, she started.
Not your fault, he interrupted her and pressed his hands flat against her stomach squeezing her reassuringly. He kissed the side of her neck, and when he pulled away quickly, she could tell that he was trying to control himself, and she knew it was because of her age. Why did he have to find me before I was of age, she thought.
Can I ask you a question? Her voice came out more breathless than she expected.
Anything, he whispered.
How come you do not lose control? You seem so calm even though I can see contained anger.
He chuckled. I have a feeling my control is going to be tested again and again when it comes to you. He let go of her and reached up to undo the braid she had put in her hair. She bit down on her bottom lip to keep from groaning as he began running his fingers through her hair, and then he moved it out of the way over her shoulder. If I do not keep a tight grasp on my wolf, on his rage, it would be very bad, for a lot of people. If I turned him lose, I do not think I could ever regain control of him. And now with you, his rage has reached a whole new level. He wants you, now. Wants to take you and make you ours so you can never leave us.
And what about you?
I agree with him, but I am a tad less barbaric. And I also understand that your age is of consequence.
She smiled at that, mainly because he seemed quite barbaric to her.
What about you? His words came out hesitantly, as if he was unsure of himself.
Me?
How do you and your wolf feel about us?
Scared, unsure, excited, inadequate, confused, hopeful, afraidshould I go on?
If it will make you feel better to get it all out, then yes keep going. I can feel all of those things in you through our bond, but sometimes words are needed, he paused and seemed to be thinking about something. Why are you scared and afraid? he finally asked.
She tried to close her mind and tried to think of somethinganything that would keep him from seeing the answers to those questions. This was the topic she had hoped would not come up right away. But then she knew that his first thought would be to protect her, so if she was afraid he wanted to know what caused her fear so he could kill it. Unfortunately, the only thing that would eliminate this fear was time.
Do not do that, Mina. Do not shut me out. His voice was low and hypnotic. She wondered if he was putting any of his power in it to influence her, but she really did not think he would ever take her free will from her.
We are taught about true mates from childhood all the way up until our coming ofage, she finally began. It is explained in a hundred different ways, and yet even with all of that, it does not prepare you for what it is really like when you finally meet your true mate. My wolf recognizes you, feels that you are our other half. The woman in me feels like I should not want you so desperately, so quickly, as though I am losing myself to you.
I do not want you to feel that way, he interrupted quickly. It is different for a male. My soul is shrouded in darkness. It eats away inside of me and every day I wonder how much longer I can hold on before I give into it. For us, finding our true mate is like the first ray of sunshine that bursts through the blackness of night promising a bright, hopeful day. There is no doubt and no hesitancy and maybe that is because our wolves have more control over us than your wolves do.
He gently took hold of her shoulders and turned her until she was sitting facing him. She adjusted her dress and folded her hands in her lap. Alina knew she could look him in the eyes, but regardless of her ability to do so, it did not make it easy.
I hear what you are saying, Alina, and it is important to me, but you still have not told me why you are afraid.
She felt his fingers under her chin as he raised her face to look at him. She growled in frustration at her cowardice behavior. All she was doing was confirming what her father said to be trueshe was not ready to be mated to such a dominate male.
I know that I cannot go with you when you leave our village to return to you castle. I know that you cannot stay here because you are the Alpha, and you have to oversee the entire pack. I understand the reasons that I cannot go with you, and I know they are valid but it does not make it any easier to deal with the reality of not being with you. Regardless of my doubts, or confusion, I know we are true mates. For the first time in my life, I am afraid of losing someone I care about. I am afraid you will realize that I am not your equal, and you will find yourself wanting one of the females who have been raised in a class more similar to yours. Once she had the words out, she could breathe again. As she had been speaking, the walls she had tried to put up in her mind slowly fell away. She was bare before him, and it was terrifying.
He was not saying anything, simply staring at her, and that was beginning to make her worry. Had her insecurities once again just proven how childish she still was? Had her words finally made him see that she could not possibly be what he needed?
Stop. He spoke firmly but not unkindly. I understand your fears and they do not make you childish. Yes, Mina, you are young, but you are far from a child. You are correct, however, I cannot claim you yet. You are not of age and it would be selfish of me to expect you to take on the responsibilities and the challenges of being mated not only that but mated to an Alpha. You said you are turning sixteen very soon, which means eighteen is only two years away. Two years is a blink of the eye in our long lives.
I nearly killed him when I found your blouse in his bed, he confessed. I have never wanted to rip a man to shreds more than I ever had in that moment.
I am sorry, she started.
Not your fault, he interrupted her and pressed his hands flat against her stomach squeezing her reassuringly. He kissed the side of her neck, and when he pulled away quickly, she could tell that he was trying to control himself, and she knew it was because of her age. Why did he have to find me before I was of age, she thought.
Can I ask you a question? Her voice came out more breathless than she expected.
Anything, he whispered.
How come you do not lose control? You seem so calm even though I can see contained anger.
He chuckled. I have a feeling my control is going to be tested again and again when it comes to you. He let go of her and reached up to undo the braid she had put in her hair. She bit down on her bottom lip to keep from groaning as he began running his fingers through her hair, and then he moved it out of the way over her shoulder. If I do not keep a tight grasp on my wolf, on his rage, it would be very bad, for a lot of people. If I turned him lose, I do not think I could ever regain control of him. And now with you, his rage has reached a whole new level. He wants you, now. Wants to take you and make you ours so you can never leave us.
And what about you?
I agree with him, but I am a tad less barbaric. And I also understand that your age is of consequence.
She smiled at that, mainly because he seemed quite barbaric to her.
What about you? His words came out hesitantly, as if he was unsure of himself.
Me?
How do you and your wolf feel about us?
Scared, unsure, excited, inadequate, confused, hopeful, afraidshould I go on?
If it will make you feel better to get it all out, then yes keep going. I can feel all of those things in you through our bond, but sometimes words are needed, he paused and seemed to be thinking about something. Why are you scared and afraid? he finally asked.
She tried to close her mind and tried to think of somethinganything that would keep him from seeing the answers to those questions. This was the topic she had hoped would not come up right away. But then she knew that his first thought would be to protect her, so if she was afraid he wanted to know what caused her fear so he could kill it. Unfortunately, the only thing that would eliminate this fear was time.
Do not do that, Mina. Do not shut me out. His voice was low and hypnotic. She wondered if he was putting any of his power in it to influence her, but she really did not think he would ever take her free will from her.
We are taught about true mates from childhood all the way up until our coming ofage, she finally began. It is explained in a hundred different ways, and yet even with all of that, it does not prepare you for what it is really like when you finally meet your true mate. My wolf recognizes you, feels that you are our other half. The woman in me feels like I should not want you so desperately, so quickly, as though I am losing myself to you.
I do not want you to feel that way, he interrupted quickly. It is different for a male. My soul is shrouded in darkness. It eats away inside of me and every day I wonder how much longer I can hold on before I give into it. For us, finding our true mate is like the first ray of sunshine that bursts through the blackness of night promising a bright, hopeful day. There is no doubt and no hesitancy and maybe that is because our wolves have more control over us than your wolves do.
He gently took hold of her shoulders and turned her until she was sitting facing him. She adjusted her dress and folded her hands in her lap. Alina knew she could look him in the eyes, but regardless of her ability to do so, it did not make it easy.
I hear what you are saying, Alina, and it is important to me, but you still have not told me why you are afraid.
She felt his fingers under her chin as he raised her face to look at him. She growled in frustration at her cowardice behavior. All she was doing was confirming what her father said to be trueshe was not ready to be mated to such a dominate male.
I know that I cannot go with you when you leave our village to return to you castle. I know that you cannot stay here because you are the Alpha, and you have to oversee the entire pack. I understand the reasons that I cannot go with you, and I know they are valid but it does not make it any easier to deal with the reality of not being with you. Regardless of my doubts, or confusion, I know we are true mates. For the first time in my life, I am afraid of losing someone I care about. I am afraid you will realize that I am not your equal, and you will find yourself wanting one of the females who have been raised in a class more similar to yours. Once she had the words out, she could breathe again. As she had been speaking, the walls she had tried to put up in her mind slowly fell away. She was bare before him, and it was terrifying.
He was not saying anything, simply staring at her, and that was beginning to make her worry. Had her insecurities once again just proven how childish she still was? Had her words finally made him see that she could not possibly be what he needed?
Stop. He spoke firmly but not unkindly. I understand your fears and they do not make you childish. Yes, Mina, you are young, but you are far from a child. You are correct, however, I cannot claim you yet. You are not of age and it would be selfish of me to expect you to take on the responsibilities and the challenges of being mated not only that but mated to an Alpha. You said you are turning sixteen very soon, which means eighteen is only two years away. Two years is a blink of the eye in our long lives.
