Luring A Lady
Page 52
He breezed by the new secretary with a curt nod and pushed open Sydney's door.
"Excuse me. Sir, excuse me."
Mikhail whirled on the hapless woman. "Where the hell is she?"
"Ms. Hayward is not in the office," she said primly. "I'm afraid you'll have to—"
"If not here, where?"
"I'll handle this, Carla," Janine murmured from the doorway.
"Yes, ma'am." Carla made her exit quickly and with relief.
"Ms. Hayward's not here, Mr. Stanislaski. Is there something I can do for you?"
"Tell me where she is."
"I'm afraid I can't." The look in his eyes had her backing up a step. "I only know she's out of town for a day or two. She left suddenly and didn't tell me where she was going."
"Out of town?" He scowled at the empty desk, then back at Janine. "She doesn't leave her work like this."
"I admit it's unusual. But I got the impression it was important. I'm sure she'll call in. I'll be happy to give her a message for you."
He said something short and hard in Ukrainian and stormed out again.
"I think I'd better let you tell her that yourself," Janine murmured to the empty room.
Twenty-four hours after leaving her office, Sydney stood on a shady sidewalk in Georgetown, Washington, D.C. A headlong rush of adrenaline had brought her this far, far enough to have her looking at the home where Peter had settled when he'd relocated after the divorce.
The impulsive drive to the airport, the quick shuttle from city to city had been easy enough. Even the phone call to request an hour of Peter's time hadn't been so difficult. But this, this last step was nearly impossible.
She hadn't seen him in over three years, and then it had been across a wide table in a lawyer's office. Civilized, God, yes, they'd been civilized. And strangers.
It was foolish, ridiculous, taking off on this kind of tangent. Talking to Peter wouldn't change anything. Nothing could. Yet she found herself climbing the stairs to the porch of the lovely old row house, lifting the brass knocker and letting it rap on the door.
He answered himself, looking so much the same that she nearly threw out her hands to him as she would have done once. He was tall and leanly built, elegantly casual in khakis and a linen shirt. His sandy hair was attractively rumpled. But the green eyes didn't light with pleasure, instead remaining steady and cool.
"Sydney," he said, backing up to let her inside.
The foyer was cool and light, speaking subtly in its furnishings and artwork of discreet old money. "I appreciate you seeing me like this, Peter."
"You said it was important."
"To me."
"Well, then." Knowing nothing else to say, he ushered her down the hall and into a sitting room. Manners sat seamlessly on both of them, causing her to make the right comments about the house, and him to parry them while offering her a seat and a drink.
"You're enjoying Washington, then."
"Very much." He sipped his own wine while she simply turned her glass around and around in her hand. She was nervous. He knew her too well not to recognize the signs. And she was as lovely as ever. It hurt. He hated the fact that it hurt just to look at her. And the best way to get past the pain was to get to the point.
"What is it I can do for you, Sydney?"
Strangers, she thought again as she looked down at her glass. They had known each other all of their lives, had been married for nearly three years, and were strangers. "It's difficult to know where to start."
He leaned back in his chair and gestured. "Pick a spot."
"Peter, why did you marry me?"
"I beg your pardon."
"I want to know why you married me."
Whatever he'd been expecting, it hadn't been this. Shifting, he drank again. "For several of the usual reasons, I suppose."
"You loved me?"
His eyes flashed to hers. "You know I loved you."
"I know we loved each other. You were my friend." She pressed her lips together. "My best friend."
He got up to pour more wine. "We were children."
"Not when we married. We were young, but we weren't children. And we were still friends. I don't know how it all went so wrong, Peter, or what I did to ruin it so completely, but—"
"You?" He stared, the bottle in one hand, the glass in the other. "What do you mean you ruined it?"
"I made you unhappy, miserably unhappy. I know I failed in bed, and it all spilled over into the rest until you couldn't even bear to be around me."
"You didn't want me to touch you," he shot back. "Damn it, it was like making love to—"
"An iceberg," she finished flatly. "So you said."
Fighting guilt, he set his glass down. "I said a lot of things, so did you. I thought I'd gotten past most of it until I heard your voice this afternoon."
"I'm sorry." She rose, her body and voice stiff to compensate for shattered pride. "I've just made it worse coming here. I am sorry, Peter, I'll go."
"It was like making love with my sister." The words burst out and stopped her before she crossed the room. "My pal. Damn, Sydney, I couldn't…" The humiliation of it clawed at him again. "I could never get beyond that, and make you, well, a wife. It unmanned me. And I took it out on you."
"I thought you hated me."
He slapped the bottle back on the table. "It was easier to try to hate you than admit I couldn't arouse either one of us. That I was inadequate."
"But I was." Baffled, she took a step toward him. "I know I was useless to you in bed—before you told me, I knew it. And you had to go elsewhere for what I couldn't give you."
"I cheated on you," he said flatly. "I lied and cheated my closest friend. I hated the way you'd started to look at me, the way I started to look at myself. So I went out to prove my manhood elsewhere, and hurt you. When you found out, I did the manly thing and turned the blame on you. Hell, Sydney, we were barely speaking to each other by that time. Except in public."
"I know. And I remember how I reacted, the hateful things I said to you. I let pride cost me a friend."
"Excuse me. Sir, excuse me."
Mikhail whirled on the hapless woman. "Where the hell is she?"
"Ms. Hayward is not in the office," she said primly. "I'm afraid you'll have to—"
"If not here, where?"
"I'll handle this, Carla," Janine murmured from the doorway.
"Yes, ma'am." Carla made her exit quickly and with relief.
"Ms. Hayward's not here, Mr. Stanislaski. Is there something I can do for you?"
"Tell me where she is."
"I'm afraid I can't." The look in his eyes had her backing up a step. "I only know she's out of town for a day or two. She left suddenly and didn't tell me where she was going."
"Out of town?" He scowled at the empty desk, then back at Janine. "She doesn't leave her work like this."
"I admit it's unusual. But I got the impression it was important. I'm sure she'll call in. I'll be happy to give her a message for you."
He said something short and hard in Ukrainian and stormed out again.
"I think I'd better let you tell her that yourself," Janine murmured to the empty room.
Twenty-four hours after leaving her office, Sydney stood on a shady sidewalk in Georgetown, Washington, D.C. A headlong rush of adrenaline had brought her this far, far enough to have her looking at the home where Peter had settled when he'd relocated after the divorce.
The impulsive drive to the airport, the quick shuttle from city to city had been easy enough. Even the phone call to request an hour of Peter's time hadn't been so difficult. But this, this last step was nearly impossible.
She hadn't seen him in over three years, and then it had been across a wide table in a lawyer's office. Civilized, God, yes, they'd been civilized. And strangers.
It was foolish, ridiculous, taking off on this kind of tangent. Talking to Peter wouldn't change anything. Nothing could. Yet she found herself climbing the stairs to the porch of the lovely old row house, lifting the brass knocker and letting it rap on the door.
He answered himself, looking so much the same that she nearly threw out her hands to him as she would have done once. He was tall and leanly built, elegantly casual in khakis and a linen shirt. His sandy hair was attractively rumpled. But the green eyes didn't light with pleasure, instead remaining steady and cool.
"Sydney," he said, backing up to let her inside.
The foyer was cool and light, speaking subtly in its furnishings and artwork of discreet old money. "I appreciate you seeing me like this, Peter."
"You said it was important."
"To me."
"Well, then." Knowing nothing else to say, he ushered her down the hall and into a sitting room. Manners sat seamlessly on both of them, causing her to make the right comments about the house, and him to parry them while offering her a seat and a drink.
"You're enjoying Washington, then."
"Very much." He sipped his own wine while she simply turned her glass around and around in her hand. She was nervous. He knew her too well not to recognize the signs. And she was as lovely as ever. It hurt. He hated the fact that it hurt just to look at her. And the best way to get past the pain was to get to the point.
"What is it I can do for you, Sydney?"
Strangers, she thought again as she looked down at her glass. They had known each other all of their lives, had been married for nearly three years, and were strangers. "It's difficult to know where to start."
He leaned back in his chair and gestured. "Pick a spot."
"Peter, why did you marry me?"
"I beg your pardon."
"I want to know why you married me."
Whatever he'd been expecting, it hadn't been this. Shifting, he drank again. "For several of the usual reasons, I suppose."
"You loved me?"
His eyes flashed to hers. "You know I loved you."
"I know we loved each other. You were my friend." She pressed her lips together. "My best friend."
He got up to pour more wine. "We were children."
"Not when we married. We were young, but we weren't children. And we were still friends. I don't know how it all went so wrong, Peter, or what I did to ruin it so completely, but—"
"You?" He stared, the bottle in one hand, the glass in the other. "What do you mean you ruined it?"
"I made you unhappy, miserably unhappy. I know I failed in bed, and it all spilled over into the rest until you couldn't even bear to be around me."
"You didn't want me to touch you," he shot back. "Damn it, it was like making love to—"
"An iceberg," she finished flatly. "So you said."
Fighting guilt, he set his glass down. "I said a lot of things, so did you. I thought I'd gotten past most of it until I heard your voice this afternoon."
"I'm sorry." She rose, her body and voice stiff to compensate for shattered pride. "I've just made it worse coming here. I am sorry, Peter, I'll go."
"It was like making love with my sister." The words burst out and stopped her before she crossed the room. "My pal. Damn, Sydney, I couldn't…" The humiliation of it clawed at him again. "I could never get beyond that, and make you, well, a wife. It unmanned me. And I took it out on you."
"I thought you hated me."
He slapped the bottle back on the table. "It was easier to try to hate you than admit I couldn't arouse either one of us. That I was inadequate."
"But I was." Baffled, she took a step toward him. "I know I was useless to you in bed—before you told me, I knew it. And you had to go elsewhere for what I couldn't give you."
"I cheated on you," he said flatly. "I lied and cheated my closest friend. I hated the way you'd started to look at me, the way I started to look at myself. So I went out to prove my manhood elsewhere, and hurt you. When you found out, I did the manly thing and turned the blame on you. Hell, Sydney, we were barely speaking to each other by that time. Except in public."
"I know. And I remember how I reacted, the hateful things I said to you. I let pride cost me a friend."
