Luring A Lady
Page 55
"I do what I like with my own hands," he said. And thought about what he'd like to be doing with them right now.
"You do what you like, period," she tossed back as she gently cleaned his knuckles. "Shouting at people, punching people. Drinking until you smell like the inside of a vodka bottle."
He wasn't so drunk he didn't know an insult when he heard one. Nudging her aside, he stood and, staggering only a little, disappeared into the next room. A moment later, she heard the shower running.
This wasn't the way she'd planned it, Sydney thought, wringing the washcloth in her hands. She was supposed to come to him, tell him how much she loved him, ask him to forgive her for being a fool. And he was supposed to be kind and understanding, taking her in his arms, telling her she'd made him the happiest man in the world.
Instead he'd been drunk and surly. And she'd been snappish and critical.
Well, he deserved it. Before she had time to think, she'd heaved the washcloth toward the kitchen, where it slapped wetly against the wall then slid down to the sink. She stared at it for a minute, then down at her own hands.
She'd thrown something. And it felt wonderful. Glancing around, she spotted a paperback book and sent it sailing. A plastic cup gave a nice ring when it hit the wall, but she'd have preferred the crash of glass. Snatching up a battered sneaker, she prepared to heave that, as well. A sound in the doorway had her turning, redirecting aim and shooting it straight into Mikhail's damp, naked chest. His breath woofed out.
"What are you doing?"
"Throwing things." She snatched up the second shoe and let it fly. He caught that one before it beaned him.
"You leave me, go away without a word, and you come to throw things?''
"That's right."
Eyes narrowed, he tested the weight of the shoe he held. It was tempting, very tempting to see if he could land it on the point of that jutting chin. On an oath, he dropped it. However much she deserved it, he just couldn't hit a woman.
"Where did you go?"
She tossed her hair back. "I went to see Peter."
He shoved his bruised hands into the pockets of the jeans he'd tugged on. "You leave me to go see another man, then you come back to throw shoes at my head. Tell me why I shouldn't just toss you out that window and be done with it."
"It was important that I see him, that I talk to him. And I—"
"You hurt me," he blurted out. The words burned on his tongue. He hated to admit it. "Do you think I care about getting a punch in the face? You'd already twisted my heart. This I can fight," he said, touching the back of his hand to his cut lip. "What you do to me inside leaves me helpless. And I hate it."
"I'm sorry." She took a step toward him but saw she wasn't yet welcome. "I was afraid I'd hurt you more if I tried to give you what you wanted. Mikhail, listen, please. Peter was the only person who cared for me. For me. My parents…" She could only shake her head. "They're not like yours. They wanted what was best for me, I'm sure, but their way of giving it was to hire nannies and buy me pretty clothes, send me to the best boarding school. You don't know how lonely it was." Impatient, she rubbed her fingers over her eyes to dry them. "I only had Peter, and then I lost him. What I feel for you is so much bigger, so much more, that I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."
He was softening. She could do that to him, as well. No matter how he tried to harden his heart, she could melt it. "You left me, Sydney. I'm not lost."
"I had to see him. I hurt him terribly, Mikhail. I was convinced that I'd ruined the marriage, the friendship, ,the love. What if I'd done the same with us?" With a little sigh, she walked to the window. "The funny thing was, he was carrying around the same guilt, the same remorse, the same fears. Talking with him, being friends again, made all the difference."
"I'm not angry that you talked to him, but that you went away. I was afraid you wouldn't come back."
She turned from the window. "I'm finished with running. I only went away because I'd hoped I could come back to you. Really come back."
He stared into her eyes, trying to see inside. "Have you?"
"Yes." She let out a shaky breath. "All the answers are yes. We walked through this building once, and I could hear the voices, all the sounds behind the doors. The smells, the laughing. I envied you belonging here. I need to belong. I want to have the chance to belong. To have that family you said was inside us."
She reached up, drawing a chain from around her neck. At the end, the little ruby flashed its flame.
Shaken, he crossed the room to cup the ring in his hand. "You wear it." he murmured.
"I was afraid to keep it on my finger. That I'd lose it. I need you to tell me if you still want me to have it.
His eyes came back to hers and locked. Even as he touched his lips to hers gently, he watched her. "I didn't ask you right the first time."
"I didn't answer right the first time." She took his face in her hands to kiss him again, to feel again. "You were perfect."
"I was clumsy. Angry that the banker had asked you before me."
Eyes wet. she smiled. ''What banker? I don't know any bankers."
Unfastening the chain from around her neck, he set it aside. "It was not how I'd planned it. There was no music."
"I hear music."
"No soft words, no pretty light, no flowers."
"There's a moon, I still have the first rose you gave me."
Touched, he kissed her hands. "I told you only what I wanted, not what I'd give. You have my heart, Sydney. As long as it beats. My life is your life." He slipped the ring onto her finger. "Will you belong to me?"
She curled her fingers to keep the ring in place. "I already do."
"You do what you like, period," she tossed back as she gently cleaned his knuckles. "Shouting at people, punching people. Drinking until you smell like the inside of a vodka bottle."
He wasn't so drunk he didn't know an insult when he heard one. Nudging her aside, he stood and, staggering only a little, disappeared into the next room. A moment later, she heard the shower running.
This wasn't the way she'd planned it, Sydney thought, wringing the washcloth in her hands. She was supposed to come to him, tell him how much she loved him, ask him to forgive her for being a fool. And he was supposed to be kind and understanding, taking her in his arms, telling her she'd made him the happiest man in the world.
Instead he'd been drunk and surly. And she'd been snappish and critical.
Well, he deserved it. Before she had time to think, she'd heaved the washcloth toward the kitchen, where it slapped wetly against the wall then slid down to the sink. She stared at it for a minute, then down at her own hands.
She'd thrown something. And it felt wonderful. Glancing around, she spotted a paperback book and sent it sailing. A plastic cup gave a nice ring when it hit the wall, but she'd have preferred the crash of glass. Snatching up a battered sneaker, she prepared to heave that, as well. A sound in the doorway had her turning, redirecting aim and shooting it straight into Mikhail's damp, naked chest. His breath woofed out.
"What are you doing?"
"Throwing things." She snatched up the second shoe and let it fly. He caught that one before it beaned him.
"You leave me, go away without a word, and you come to throw things?''
"That's right."
Eyes narrowed, he tested the weight of the shoe he held. It was tempting, very tempting to see if he could land it on the point of that jutting chin. On an oath, he dropped it. However much she deserved it, he just couldn't hit a woman.
"Where did you go?"
She tossed her hair back. "I went to see Peter."
He shoved his bruised hands into the pockets of the jeans he'd tugged on. "You leave me to go see another man, then you come back to throw shoes at my head. Tell me why I shouldn't just toss you out that window and be done with it."
"It was important that I see him, that I talk to him. And I—"
"You hurt me," he blurted out. The words burned on his tongue. He hated to admit it. "Do you think I care about getting a punch in the face? You'd already twisted my heart. This I can fight," he said, touching the back of his hand to his cut lip. "What you do to me inside leaves me helpless. And I hate it."
"I'm sorry." She took a step toward him but saw she wasn't yet welcome. "I was afraid I'd hurt you more if I tried to give you what you wanted. Mikhail, listen, please. Peter was the only person who cared for me. For me. My parents…" She could only shake her head. "They're not like yours. They wanted what was best for me, I'm sure, but their way of giving it was to hire nannies and buy me pretty clothes, send me to the best boarding school. You don't know how lonely it was." Impatient, she rubbed her fingers over her eyes to dry them. "I only had Peter, and then I lost him. What I feel for you is so much bigger, so much more, that I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."
He was softening. She could do that to him, as well. No matter how he tried to harden his heart, she could melt it. "You left me, Sydney. I'm not lost."
"I had to see him. I hurt him terribly, Mikhail. I was convinced that I'd ruined the marriage, the friendship, ,the love. What if I'd done the same with us?" With a little sigh, she walked to the window. "The funny thing was, he was carrying around the same guilt, the same remorse, the same fears. Talking with him, being friends again, made all the difference."
"I'm not angry that you talked to him, but that you went away. I was afraid you wouldn't come back."
She turned from the window. "I'm finished with running. I only went away because I'd hoped I could come back to you. Really come back."
He stared into her eyes, trying to see inside. "Have you?"
"Yes." She let out a shaky breath. "All the answers are yes. We walked through this building once, and I could hear the voices, all the sounds behind the doors. The smells, the laughing. I envied you belonging here. I need to belong. I want to have the chance to belong. To have that family you said was inside us."
She reached up, drawing a chain from around her neck. At the end, the little ruby flashed its flame.
Shaken, he crossed the room to cup the ring in his hand. "You wear it." he murmured.
"I was afraid to keep it on my finger. That I'd lose it. I need you to tell me if you still want me to have it.
His eyes came back to hers and locked. Even as he touched his lips to hers gently, he watched her. "I didn't ask you right the first time."
"I didn't answer right the first time." She took his face in her hands to kiss him again, to feel again. "You were perfect."
"I was clumsy. Angry that the banker had asked you before me."
Eyes wet. she smiled. ''What banker? I don't know any bankers."
Unfastening the chain from around her neck, he set it aside. "It was not how I'd planned it. There was no music."
"I hear music."
"No soft words, no pretty light, no flowers."
"There's a moon, I still have the first rose you gave me."
Touched, he kissed her hands. "I told you only what I wanted, not what I'd give. You have my heart, Sydney. As long as it beats. My life is your life." He slipped the ring onto her finger. "Will you belong to me?"
She curled her fingers to keep the ring in place. "I already do."
