Made for You
Page 10
“Seriously?”
He doesn’t reply or look at me, instead busying himself flipping the pages in his book as if he’s searching for a passage.
Reid coughs like he’s hiding a laugh. I flip him off but don’t look away from Robert. I force a smile and step closer. “Robert?”
He looks up.
“She could’ve died.”
For a moment, he’s silent. He seems to be weighing his thoughts, and I hope that he’ll do the right thing. His friends, Eva’s friends, are watching. No one is laughing now. The thought of the Tilling-Cooper scion dying is never going to be funny in Jessup, not even for a moment while a bunch of boys try to prove they’re smart-asses.
“How is she? Really?” he asks.
“She’s recovering, but she’s lonely and upset. You visiting would help.” I want to believe there’s some good in Robert. I hope he’ll show me that now.
Instead, he looks down at his book again and says, “I’ll text her tonight.”
And my good intentions about not arguing with him slip a little. “She deserves better.”
Reid shoots me a quick secretive smile, but Robert and the other two boys are all ignoring me now. Despite being so crude, Reid usually seems like he’s trying to be nice to me. He also seems increasingly convinced that he can charm me out of my clothes.
Reid doesn’t even pretend he’s interested in dating. As he so bluntly put it late one night after everyone had either passed out, left, or retreated behind closed doors, “My grandmother would have to mainline Xanax before she’d allow me to date a non-Southern girl . . . especially an Asian one.” I couldn’t decide whether to give him points for honesty or slap him for being an imbecile.
Mr. Ellsworth walks into the room, so I go to my seat. Listening to him drone on about the exam schedule is almost soothing. I don’t understand a lot of Eva’s friends or her boyfriend. Half the school seems desperate to let me know that they care about Eva—whether or not they do, I can’t honestly say—but her actual boyfriend seems just as determined to be clear that he isn’t going to worry about her. Part of me wants to stop and ask Reid to explain. He’s been friends with them since birth so he must have some sort of insight.
Understanding Robert’s idiocy won’t fix it though, so I settle for hoping that this is the thing that will convince Eva to end things with him. If not, I may end up going native and spouting things like “cad” and “reprobate.” If common sense won’t make her see that he’s a jerk, maybe some Jessup-isms will get it done.
DAY 6: “THE SURPRISE”
Eva
MY ROOM IS GETTING dangerously close to smelling like a perfume shop. Apparently my “no visitors” request was interpreted as an invitation to send arrangements. A few flowers are nice, but after a dozen or so bouquets the scent is nauseating. I blame the smell for giving me a headache and have the nurses give away all of them—except the orchids my parents sent. They called late last night—apparently after all these years they still can’t master time-zone math. They think they can finally get a flight out, so I guess they’ll be here soon—and I’ll go home. I guess it’s good. I’m already feeling caged.
I’m off the antiseizure drug, but I’m still on the muscle relaxer. I can even have narcotics too now that my brain seems okay. The doctors and nurses focus on my brain, my leg, and nerve damage. They tell me how lucky I am that I haven’t lost any sensation in my face. They tell me how fortunate I am to be awake and seemingly not experiencing any mental degradation. They’re right. I still asked them to hang a towel covering the mirror in the bathroom. The scars horrify me.
Robert still hasn’t visited. He should know that I don’t include him in my no-visitors request; Grace knew it didn’t apply to her. Robert hasn’t even asked to see me. Of course, I haven’t asked him to visit either. I’m afraid of what he’ll think. Although neither Grace nor my grandfather looked at me like I’m ugly, I’m not sure I want to see what Robert’s expression is when he sees my face. Status matters to Robert. He has only dated girls who are pretty and from what his mother calls “the right families.” My last name alone wasn’t reason enough for him; it would be for her, but he’s told me frequently that he likes the way I look. Maybe he’s hoping that if he waits, I’ll be prettier. I don’t want to tell him how wrong he is.
I realize, however, that it doesn’t make sense to flinch away from the nurses or the doctors when they do their rounds. They aren’t flinching away from me. Living in the hospital means having someone come into my room to poke, prod, or check on me every couple of hours all day and all night. They’re mostly nice people, trying to be quiet when I’m napping and not staring at the mess that’s now my face. I suspect it’s easier for them because they’ve seen worse—at least I hope they have.
It makes me feel like a lousy person for thinking that, and if my father heard me, there would be a lecture on “counting my blessings.” My parents and I coexist in our oversized house like roommates, not like an actual family.
I hate thinking about all of this, but there’s not a whole lot else to do in the hospital. I read. I watch television. I text Grace, Robert, Piper, CeCe, and a few other people. It’s lonely, but I can’t deal with them seeing me yet.
I don’t even want to see me yet.
He doesn’t reply or look at me, instead busying himself flipping the pages in his book as if he’s searching for a passage.
Reid coughs like he’s hiding a laugh. I flip him off but don’t look away from Robert. I force a smile and step closer. “Robert?”
He looks up.
“She could’ve died.”
For a moment, he’s silent. He seems to be weighing his thoughts, and I hope that he’ll do the right thing. His friends, Eva’s friends, are watching. No one is laughing now. The thought of the Tilling-Cooper scion dying is never going to be funny in Jessup, not even for a moment while a bunch of boys try to prove they’re smart-asses.
“How is she? Really?” he asks.
“She’s recovering, but she’s lonely and upset. You visiting would help.” I want to believe there’s some good in Robert. I hope he’ll show me that now.
Instead, he looks down at his book again and says, “I’ll text her tonight.”
And my good intentions about not arguing with him slip a little. “She deserves better.”
Reid shoots me a quick secretive smile, but Robert and the other two boys are all ignoring me now. Despite being so crude, Reid usually seems like he’s trying to be nice to me. He also seems increasingly convinced that he can charm me out of my clothes.
Reid doesn’t even pretend he’s interested in dating. As he so bluntly put it late one night after everyone had either passed out, left, or retreated behind closed doors, “My grandmother would have to mainline Xanax before she’d allow me to date a non-Southern girl . . . especially an Asian one.” I couldn’t decide whether to give him points for honesty or slap him for being an imbecile.
Mr. Ellsworth walks into the room, so I go to my seat. Listening to him drone on about the exam schedule is almost soothing. I don’t understand a lot of Eva’s friends or her boyfriend. Half the school seems desperate to let me know that they care about Eva—whether or not they do, I can’t honestly say—but her actual boyfriend seems just as determined to be clear that he isn’t going to worry about her. Part of me wants to stop and ask Reid to explain. He’s been friends with them since birth so he must have some sort of insight.
Understanding Robert’s idiocy won’t fix it though, so I settle for hoping that this is the thing that will convince Eva to end things with him. If not, I may end up going native and spouting things like “cad” and “reprobate.” If common sense won’t make her see that he’s a jerk, maybe some Jessup-isms will get it done.
DAY 6: “THE SURPRISE”
Eva
MY ROOM IS GETTING dangerously close to smelling like a perfume shop. Apparently my “no visitors” request was interpreted as an invitation to send arrangements. A few flowers are nice, but after a dozen or so bouquets the scent is nauseating. I blame the smell for giving me a headache and have the nurses give away all of them—except the orchids my parents sent. They called late last night—apparently after all these years they still can’t master time-zone math. They think they can finally get a flight out, so I guess they’ll be here soon—and I’ll go home. I guess it’s good. I’m already feeling caged.
I’m off the antiseizure drug, but I’m still on the muscle relaxer. I can even have narcotics too now that my brain seems okay. The doctors and nurses focus on my brain, my leg, and nerve damage. They tell me how lucky I am that I haven’t lost any sensation in my face. They tell me how fortunate I am to be awake and seemingly not experiencing any mental degradation. They’re right. I still asked them to hang a towel covering the mirror in the bathroom. The scars horrify me.
Robert still hasn’t visited. He should know that I don’t include him in my no-visitors request; Grace knew it didn’t apply to her. Robert hasn’t even asked to see me. Of course, I haven’t asked him to visit either. I’m afraid of what he’ll think. Although neither Grace nor my grandfather looked at me like I’m ugly, I’m not sure I want to see what Robert’s expression is when he sees my face. Status matters to Robert. He has only dated girls who are pretty and from what his mother calls “the right families.” My last name alone wasn’t reason enough for him; it would be for her, but he’s told me frequently that he likes the way I look. Maybe he’s hoping that if he waits, I’ll be prettier. I don’t want to tell him how wrong he is.
I realize, however, that it doesn’t make sense to flinch away from the nurses or the doctors when they do their rounds. They aren’t flinching away from me. Living in the hospital means having someone come into my room to poke, prod, or check on me every couple of hours all day and all night. They’re mostly nice people, trying to be quiet when I’m napping and not staring at the mess that’s now my face. I suspect it’s easier for them because they’ve seen worse—at least I hope they have.
It makes me feel like a lousy person for thinking that, and if my father heard me, there would be a lecture on “counting my blessings.” My parents and I coexist in our oversized house like roommates, not like an actual family.
I hate thinking about all of this, but there’s not a whole lot else to do in the hospital. I read. I watch television. I text Grace, Robert, Piper, CeCe, and a few other people. It’s lonely, but I can’t deal with them seeing me yet.
I don’t even want to see me yet.
