Manic
Page 40
"How did you get here?"
"Where?"
"This moment in time. How did you end up here, inside Coors Field, running with me? Where did you grow up?"
It takes me back a minute because I'm so used to Ronin avoiding my past. I watch Ford's eyes as I consider if I'll answer him and he waits me out. Not making a move, not making a sound. Just calm. He exudes patience.
"Chicago," I finally say.
"OK, now tell me how you got here."
"I walked across the street with you."
He chuckles a little under his breath. "Did you fly? Drive?"
"Bus."
"Ahhh. That makes sense. So why Denver? What made you want to come to Denver of all places?"
"Well…" I go over to a table near the windows and Ford follows me. We sit across from each other, him facing the sun, and me with my back to it. "I was actually on my way to Vegas but I was sitting across the aisle from these boys going to Denver. And they were watching South Park on their tablet the entire ride." I stop to laugh because I love South Park. "And that stupid Cartman, he gets me every time, so I was eavesdropping, trying to listen for him to say one of his funny lines."
Ford's serious expression falters and he smiles with me.
"Anyway, they were talking about how those guys who made South Park went to the university in Boulder and since my dream has always been to go to film school, I figured it was a sign and maybe Denver was where I was supposed to end up, so I took a chance on fate and just… stepped off the bus."
I wait for Ford to say something but he just shakes his head and smiles.
"What?"
"I went to Boulder and majored in film."
"Hmmm. That's sorta weird."
He stares at me, his eyes bright as his mind takes this in. "Fate, you say?"
"Well, weird, at the very least."
"So you were compelled to get off a bus in Denver because of South Park and the CU Boulder film department?"
"Yeah, that's how it happened. I had nothing to lose, ya know? So why not? Why not take a chance here?" I shrug. "It seems to be working out OK."
Ford stands and I stand with him. "Thank you for telling me that, Rook. It's a great story."
"No problem. I'm hungry now, can we eat?"
He smiles and we start walking down the corridor towards the smell of food and when we get close to it Ford guides me over to a table with his hand on my back. I take a seat but he stays standing. "I'll get your food. Stay here."
I sigh. Ronin would probably not like me talking to Ford about personal things, but Ford said Ronin likes damaged girls. No, correction—young, damaged girls. And that's me for sure. And I can't help myself, I feel the need to know more about this. If I'm just another project to Ronin, I'd like to figure that out sooner rather than later. I like him a whole lot and I don't want to get hurt.
Ford comes back and hands me my burrito and OJ, then takes a seat across from me and begins to chow down. I do the same and we are too busy chewing to talk for a while. He finishes before me, because he's a guy and every guy I've ever met has been a scarfer when it comes to food. He balls up the foil burrito wrapper and finishes off his juice and then starts with the questions.
"How long has it been?" he asks. "Since you ran?"
I think back and count the weeks. "About three months," I finally say with my mouth full.
"How long have you known Ronin?"
"About a month." I stay quiet, waiting for his next question, but he looks away, like he's thinking about my answer. "Why?" I finally ask.
"I'm just trying to figure out what it means that he claimed you."
That word almost makes me choke. "He didn't claim me, Ford. We're dating. That's it."
"Huh." He looks over at me now. "How many men, Rook? Not to get personal, but I'm just curious. How many men have you been with?"
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"Because you come off as very, very inexperienced. That's why. It makes you seem far younger than you really are."
I snort. "OK, I guess you're the expert in sexual experience, then?" I just shake my head at him. I'm not answering that question. It sorta pisses me off, in fact. I wrap my burrito back up in the foil and get up and walk away.
He catches up with me as I'm going down the stairs.
"Too personal?"
"Yeah, Ford. I'm sorry I told you that story now. You're gonna do something dirty with it, I can tell." I stop and look at him. My face feels so hot I wonder if I'll start crying. "Just leave me alone." I start to walk off but he grabs my arm firmly and doesn't let go, even when I try to jerk away.
"Wait. I'm not trying to upset you, Rook."
I whirl around. "Like hell you're not! And you're doing a good job of it too, because I like Ronin, OK? I like him and you've told me twice now that I'm nothing to him aside from some sort of project. That he's only interested in me because he has a sick hero complex. And it makes me feel…"
Jesus Christ, Rook. Why are you telling this guy about your feelings? Get a grip.
I yank my arm away and continue down the stairs.
Ford follows me but stays a few steps behind, then catches up and holds the door when I throw it open and go out to the parking lot.
"Where?"
"This moment in time. How did you end up here, inside Coors Field, running with me? Where did you grow up?"
It takes me back a minute because I'm so used to Ronin avoiding my past. I watch Ford's eyes as I consider if I'll answer him and he waits me out. Not making a move, not making a sound. Just calm. He exudes patience.
"Chicago," I finally say.
"OK, now tell me how you got here."
"I walked across the street with you."
He chuckles a little under his breath. "Did you fly? Drive?"
"Bus."
"Ahhh. That makes sense. So why Denver? What made you want to come to Denver of all places?"
"Well…" I go over to a table near the windows and Ford follows me. We sit across from each other, him facing the sun, and me with my back to it. "I was actually on my way to Vegas but I was sitting across the aisle from these boys going to Denver. And they were watching South Park on their tablet the entire ride." I stop to laugh because I love South Park. "And that stupid Cartman, he gets me every time, so I was eavesdropping, trying to listen for him to say one of his funny lines."
Ford's serious expression falters and he smiles with me.
"Anyway, they were talking about how those guys who made South Park went to the university in Boulder and since my dream has always been to go to film school, I figured it was a sign and maybe Denver was where I was supposed to end up, so I took a chance on fate and just… stepped off the bus."
I wait for Ford to say something but he just shakes his head and smiles.
"What?"
"I went to Boulder and majored in film."
"Hmmm. That's sorta weird."
He stares at me, his eyes bright as his mind takes this in. "Fate, you say?"
"Well, weird, at the very least."
"So you were compelled to get off a bus in Denver because of South Park and the CU Boulder film department?"
"Yeah, that's how it happened. I had nothing to lose, ya know? So why not? Why not take a chance here?" I shrug. "It seems to be working out OK."
Ford stands and I stand with him. "Thank you for telling me that, Rook. It's a great story."
"No problem. I'm hungry now, can we eat?"
He smiles and we start walking down the corridor towards the smell of food and when we get close to it Ford guides me over to a table with his hand on my back. I take a seat but he stays standing. "I'll get your food. Stay here."
I sigh. Ronin would probably not like me talking to Ford about personal things, but Ford said Ronin likes damaged girls. No, correction—young, damaged girls. And that's me for sure. And I can't help myself, I feel the need to know more about this. If I'm just another project to Ronin, I'd like to figure that out sooner rather than later. I like him a whole lot and I don't want to get hurt.
Ford comes back and hands me my burrito and OJ, then takes a seat across from me and begins to chow down. I do the same and we are too busy chewing to talk for a while. He finishes before me, because he's a guy and every guy I've ever met has been a scarfer when it comes to food. He balls up the foil burrito wrapper and finishes off his juice and then starts with the questions.
"How long has it been?" he asks. "Since you ran?"
I think back and count the weeks. "About three months," I finally say with my mouth full.
"How long have you known Ronin?"
"About a month." I stay quiet, waiting for his next question, but he looks away, like he's thinking about my answer. "Why?" I finally ask.
"I'm just trying to figure out what it means that he claimed you."
That word almost makes me choke. "He didn't claim me, Ford. We're dating. That's it."
"Huh." He looks over at me now. "How many men, Rook? Not to get personal, but I'm just curious. How many men have you been with?"
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"Because you come off as very, very inexperienced. That's why. It makes you seem far younger than you really are."
I snort. "OK, I guess you're the expert in sexual experience, then?" I just shake my head at him. I'm not answering that question. It sorta pisses me off, in fact. I wrap my burrito back up in the foil and get up and walk away.
He catches up with me as I'm going down the stairs.
"Too personal?"
"Yeah, Ford. I'm sorry I told you that story now. You're gonna do something dirty with it, I can tell." I stop and look at him. My face feels so hot I wonder if I'll start crying. "Just leave me alone." I start to walk off but he grabs my arm firmly and doesn't let go, even when I try to jerk away.
"Wait. I'm not trying to upset you, Rook."
I whirl around. "Like hell you're not! And you're doing a good job of it too, because I like Ronin, OK? I like him and you've told me twice now that I'm nothing to him aside from some sort of project. That he's only interested in me because he has a sick hero complex. And it makes me feel…"
Jesus Christ, Rook. Why are you telling this guy about your feelings? Get a grip.
I yank my arm away and continue down the stairs.
Ford follows me but stays a few steps behind, then catches up and holds the door when I throw it open and go out to the parking lot.
