Maybe Now
Page 14
I smile and give my head a slight shake. “No. I just really wish I could hear you right now.”
Her expression relaxes a little. Saddens, even. She pulls in her bottom lip for a second as she stares up at me. Then she reaches her hand up and grabs mine, pulling on it. I lower myself to the floor, sliding my knee between both of her legs.
I might not be able to hear her like I wish I could, but I can smell her and taste her and love her. I run my nose over her jaw until my lips reach hers. When I brush my lips against hers, her tongue slips into my mouth, soft and inviting. I return the action, searching her mouth for remnants of laughter.
She’s an incredible communicator when it comes to her kiss. Her kiss sometimes says more to me than anything she could ever sign or text or speak. Which is why I immediately know when she’s distracted. I don’t even have to hear it. She hears it for me, and then I feel her reaction and I just know. I pull back and look down at her, just as her attention moves to Warren and Bridgette’s bathroom door. I look up, and Bridgette is walking out of the bathroom. She pauses and looks at us, lying on the living room floor together, covered in glitter.
And then she does the unthinkable.
Bridgette smiles.
Then she steps over us and walks away. When she leaves the apartment, I look down at Sydney, wondering if she’s just as shocked as I am by that exchange. Her eyes are wide as she looks back at me. She starts laughing again. I quickly press my ear to her chest, wanting to feel it, but her laughter fades too quickly. I bring my hand up to her waist and start tickling her. I feel her start laughing again, so I keep tickling her because it’s the closest I can get to hearing that laugh.
Her phone is next to me on the floor, so when it lights up, I naturally glance at it. I stop tickling her when I see the name and the message that appears on the screen.
Hunter: Thank you, Syd. You’re the best.
She hasn’t noticed her phone. She’s still laughing and trying to squirm away from me, so I sit back on my knees and pick up her phone. I hand it to her as I’m standing up to walk away. I try to bite down my anger as I grab a rag and begin wiping the glitter off the counter. I glance at her to see her reaction, but she’s sitting cross-legged now, responding to that fucker’s text.
Why is she talking to him?
Why does it seem like they’re somehow miraculously on good terms?
Thank you, Syd? Why is he calling her Syd, like he has any right to be that casual with her after what he did to her? And why is she sitting so casually like this is okay? I grab my phone.
Ridge: Let me know when you’re finished chatting with your ex. I’ll be in the shower.
I don’t look at her as I head to my bedroom and then my bathroom. I pull open the shower curtain and turn on the water, and then take my shirt off. I swear, I just want to make loud noises. It’s not very often I feel the need to be loud, but in situations like this, I know it probably feels good to be able to groan so that I can hear my frustrations leaving my body. Instead, I toss my shirt at the wall and unbutton my jeans with nowhere for my noise to go.
When the bathroom door opens, I regret not locking it because I really need a minute. Or two or three. I glance at Sydney, and she leans against the doorframe and raises an eyebrow.
“Seriously?”
I stare at her expectantly. What does she want me to say? Does she expect me to be okay with this? Does she expect me to smile and ask her how Hunter is doing?
Sydney hands me her phone and scrolls up on her texts to Hunter so I can read them. I have no desire to read them, but she uses both of her hands to force mine around her phone, and then she motions for me to read them. I look down at the string of messages.
Hunter: I know you don’t want to speak to me. I don’t blame you for driving away the other night. And believe me, I would leave you alone, but I gave you all my financial forms to give to your dad to look over during our company’s merger last year. It’s almost April and I need them for taxes. I called his office and they said they sent them back with you a few months ago.
Sydney: They’re in Tori’s apartment in my old bedroom. Look in the red folder at the top of the closet.
Hunter: Found them!
Hunter: Thanks, Syd. You’re the best.
Sydney: Can you delete my number now?
Hunter: Done.
I lean against the sink and rub a hand down my face. She immediately starts texting me when I hand her back her phone, so I check my phone.
Sydney: I realize my situation with Hunter is different from your situation with Maggie, but I have been extremely accommodating to the friendship you chose to keep, Ridge. EXTREMELY ACCOMODATING! But you are being a hypocritical tool right now. It’s very unattractive.
I blow out a breath of mixed relief and regret. She is absolutely right. I’m a hypocritical tool.
Ridge: You’re right. I’m sorry.
Sydney: I know I’m right. And that little apology doesn’t really make me any less angry at you.
I glance at her and swallow because I haven’t seen her this angry in a very long time. I’ve seen her upset and frustrated, but I don’t think I’ve seen her this angry since the morning she woke up in my bed and found out I had a girlfriend.
Why did I have to react that way? She’s right. She’s been nothing but patient with me, and the first chance I have to show her the same trust and patience in return, I stomp out of the room in a tantrum.
Ridge: I was jealous and in the wrong. 100% wrong. Actually, I was so wrong, I think I stretched the limit of 100%. I was 101% wrong.
I look at her, and I’m thankful I can read her non-verbal cues so well. Even though she tries to hide it, I can see her relax a little with that text. So I send her another one. I’ll text her apologies all night if I have to in order to get rid of this tension I caused.
Ridge: Remember when we used to tell each other our flaws so it would help fight our attraction for each other?
She nods.
Ridge: One of my flaws is that I never knew I had a jealous streak until I had you to be jealous over.
She doesn’t smile, but she does lean against the counter next to me. Our shoulders touch, and it’s such a subtle thing, but it means so much right now.
Sydney: My flaw is that I forgive too easily and I can’t stay mad.
She may find that as a flaw, but I couldn’t be more grateful for that side of her. Especially right now. She lifts her eyes and shrugs a little, like she’s already over it. I give her a quick kiss on her forehead.
Ridge: My flaw is that I’m covered in glitter. I somehow even got it…
I pull at the flap of my jeans. “Down there,” I say.
She starts laughing. And I smile because fuck Hunter. I have the absolute best girlfriend there ever was to walk this earth.
Sydney: My flaw is that I kind of already forgot why we were fighting because you’re so cute when you sparkle.
Ridge: We’re fighting because you are perfect and I don’t deserve you.
Sydney rolls her eyes and then sets down her phone. I stand up straight and place my phone on top of hers, pushing them to the back of the counter. I move in front of her, and she grips the counter at her sides, looking at me with glitter in her lashes and her hair. Such a beautiful girl. Inside and out. I lower my mouth to hers while bringing my hands to the front of her jeans. I unzip and unbutton them and then continue to kiss her as I undress her.
I pull her into the shower with me, and for the next half hour, I apologize profusely with my mouth.
I’ve spent seventeen nights in the hospital this past year alone.
I’ve been to visit my doctor more times than that. Since the day I was born, I’ve been at appointments to check my health more times than I’ve gone grocery shopping.
And I’m sick of it.
Sometimes when I arrive at my doctor’s office, I sit there and stare at the building, wondering what would happen if I drove away and never went back. What would happen if I stopped having tests administered? What would happen if I stopped receiving treatment for every single cold I’m afflicted with?
I’d get pneumonia. That’s what would happen. Then I would die.
At least I’d never have to go back to a doctor’s office.
The nurse takes the blood pressure cuff off my arm. “It’s a tad high.”
Her expression relaxes a little. Saddens, even. She pulls in her bottom lip for a second as she stares up at me. Then she reaches her hand up and grabs mine, pulling on it. I lower myself to the floor, sliding my knee between both of her legs.
I might not be able to hear her like I wish I could, but I can smell her and taste her and love her. I run my nose over her jaw until my lips reach hers. When I brush my lips against hers, her tongue slips into my mouth, soft and inviting. I return the action, searching her mouth for remnants of laughter.
She’s an incredible communicator when it comes to her kiss. Her kiss sometimes says more to me than anything she could ever sign or text or speak. Which is why I immediately know when she’s distracted. I don’t even have to hear it. She hears it for me, and then I feel her reaction and I just know. I pull back and look down at her, just as her attention moves to Warren and Bridgette’s bathroom door. I look up, and Bridgette is walking out of the bathroom. She pauses and looks at us, lying on the living room floor together, covered in glitter.
And then she does the unthinkable.
Bridgette smiles.
Then she steps over us and walks away. When she leaves the apartment, I look down at Sydney, wondering if she’s just as shocked as I am by that exchange. Her eyes are wide as she looks back at me. She starts laughing again. I quickly press my ear to her chest, wanting to feel it, but her laughter fades too quickly. I bring my hand up to her waist and start tickling her. I feel her start laughing again, so I keep tickling her because it’s the closest I can get to hearing that laugh.
Her phone is next to me on the floor, so when it lights up, I naturally glance at it. I stop tickling her when I see the name and the message that appears on the screen.
Hunter: Thank you, Syd. You’re the best.
She hasn’t noticed her phone. She’s still laughing and trying to squirm away from me, so I sit back on my knees and pick up her phone. I hand it to her as I’m standing up to walk away. I try to bite down my anger as I grab a rag and begin wiping the glitter off the counter. I glance at her to see her reaction, but she’s sitting cross-legged now, responding to that fucker’s text.
Why is she talking to him?
Why does it seem like they’re somehow miraculously on good terms?
Thank you, Syd? Why is he calling her Syd, like he has any right to be that casual with her after what he did to her? And why is she sitting so casually like this is okay? I grab my phone.
Ridge: Let me know when you’re finished chatting with your ex. I’ll be in the shower.
I don’t look at her as I head to my bedroom and then my bathroom. I pull open the shower curtain and turn on the water, and then take my shirt off. I swear, I just want to make loud noises. It’s not very often I feel the need to be loud, but in situations like this, I know it probably feels good to be able to groan so that I can hear my frustrations leaving my body. Instead, I toss my shirt at the wall and unbutton my jeans with nowhere for my noise to go.
When the bathroom door opens, I regret not locking it because I really need a minute. Or two or three. I glance at Sydney, and she leans against the doorframe and raises an eyebrow.
“Seriously?”
I stare at her expectantly. What does she want me to say? Does she expect me to be okay with this? Does she expect me to smile and ask her how Hunter is doing?
Sydney hands me her phone and scrolls up on her texts to Hunter so I can read them. I have no desire to read them, but she uses both of her hands to force mine around her phone, and then she motions for me to read them. I look down at the string of messages.
Hunter: I know you don’t want to speak to me. I don’t blame you for driving away the other night. And believe me, I would leave you alone, but I gave you all my financial forms to give to your dad to look over during our company’s merger last year. It’s almost April and I need them for taxes. I called his office and they said they sent them back with you a few months ago.
Sydney: They’re in Tori’s apartment in my old bedroom. Look in the red folder at the top of the closet.
Hunter: Found them!
Hunter: Thanks, Syd. You’re the best.
Sydney: Can you delete my number now?
Hunter: Done.
I lean against the sink and rub a hand down my face. She immediately starts texting me when I hand her back her phone, so I check my phone.
Sydney: I realize my situation with Hunter is different from your situation with Maggie, but I have been extremely accommodating to the friendship you chose to keep, Ridge. EXTREMELY ACCOMODATING! But you are being a hypocritical tool right now. It’s very unattractive.
I blow out a breath of mixed relief and regret. She is absolutely right. I’m a hypocritical tool.
Ridge: You’re right. I’m sorry.
Sydney: I know I’m right. And that little apology doesn’t really make me any less angry at you.
I glance at her and swallow because I haven’t seen her this angry in a very long time. I’ve seen her upset and frustrated, but I don’t think I’ve seen her this angry since the morning she woke up in my bed and found out I had a girlfriend.
Why did I have to react that way? She’s right. She’s been nothing but patient with me, and the first chance I have to show her the same trust and patience in return, I stomp out of the room in a tantrum.
Ridge: I was jealous and in the wrong. 100% wrong. Actually, I was so wrong, I think I stretched the limit of 100%. I was 101% wrong.
I look at her, and I’m thankful I can read her non-verbal cues so well. Even though she tries to hide it, I can see her relax a little with that text. So I send her another one. I’ll text her apologies all night if I have to in order to get rid of this tension I caused.
Ridge: Remember when we used to tell each other our flaws so it would help fight our attraction for each other?
She nods.
Ridge: One of my flaws is that I never knew I had a jealous streak until I had you to be jealous over.
She doesn’t smile, but she does lean against the counter next to me. Our shoulders touch, and it’s such a subtle thing, but it means so much right now.
Sydney: My flaw is that I forgive too easily and I can’t stay mad.
She may find that as a flaw, but I couldn’t be more grateful for that side of her. Especially right now. She lifts her eyes and shrugs a little, like she’s already over it. I give her a quick kiss on her forehead.
Ridge: My flaw is that I’m covered in glitter. I somehow even got it…
I pull at the flap of my jeans. “Down there,” I say.
She starts laughing. And I smile because fuck Hunter. I have the absolute best girlfriend there ever was to walk this earth.
Sydney: My flaw is that I kind of already forgot why we were fighting because you’re so cute when you sparkle.
Ridge: We’re fighting because you are perfect and I don’t deserve you.
Sydney rolls her eyes and then sets down her phone. I stand up straight and place my phone on top of hers, pushing them to the back of the counter. I move in front of her, and she grips the counter at her sides, looking at me with glitter in her lashes and her hair. Such a beautiful girl. Inside and out. I lower my mouth to hers while bringing my hands to the front of her jeans. I unzip and unbutton them and then continue to kiss her as I undress her.
I pull her into the shower with me, and for the next half hour, I apologize profusely with my mouth.
I’ve spent seventeen nights in the hospital this past year alone.
I’ve been to visit my doctor more times than that. Since the day I was born, I’ve been at appointments to check my health more times than I’ve gone grocery shopping.
And I’m sick of it.
Sometimes when I arrive at my doctor’s office, I sit there and stare at the building, wondering what would happen if I drove away and never went back. What would happen if I stopped having tests administered? What would happen if I stopped receiving treatment for every single cold I’m afflicted with?
I’d get pneumonia. That’s what would happen. Then I would die.
At least I’d never have to go back to a doctor’s office.
The nurse takes the blood pressure cuff off my arm. “It’s a tad high.”
