Maybe Now
Page 58
Ridge folds his arms over the bar and leans forward, smiling at me. “I got you a present.”
I grin as I turn on the dishwasher. “You did?”
He reaches out for my hand. “It’s in your bedroom.”
I have no idea what it is, but I grab his hand with both of mine and pull him to the bedroom because I’m excited. He pulls me back so he can walk through the door first. He lets go of my hands so he can sign what he’s speaking. “We were writing a song together once when you mentioned how you wish you had one of these.”
He pushes open the door and walks to my bed, then pulls a huge box out from beneath it. It’s an electric keyboard, complete with a stand and a stool. I recognize the brand immediately. It’s the same ones we use in my music classes, so I know exactly how much he spent on this gift, and I immediately want to tell him I can’t accept it. But at the same time, I’m so excited about it, I rush over to it and run my hand over the box.
I throw my arms around him and kiss him all over his face. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
He laughs, knowing how happy he just made me. “Is it the right one?”
I nod. “It’s perfect.”
I had a piano growing up at my parent’s house, but it’s too big to travel with. I grew up playing it, which started my love for music. I’ve slowly been integrating other instruments, but the piano is where my heart is. Ridge sets the keyboard up against the wall. I sit down and start playing a song, and Ridge sits down on the bed. He watches my hands with the same appreciation as someone who would be able to hear what they’re creating.
When I finish playing the song, I run my hand appreciatively over the keys. I can’t believe he remembered one comment I made a long time ago about wishing I had a piano like the ones we use at school. “Why did you get me this?”
“Because. You’re good at songwriting, Syd. Really good. You deserve an instrument that can help you create music.”
I crinkle up my nose at him because he knows I’m weird with compliments. Just like he is, I guess. I crawl onto the bed with him and wrap my arms around him, looking him in the eyes. “Thank you.”
He brushes my hair back, sliding his hand to the side of my head. “You’re welcome.”
I’m inspired. By him, by his gift, by the feeling I had on my way home when the windows were down and the music was blaring. “Let’s write a song right now. I got an idea on the way home from work.” I lean over to the nightstand and grab the pad of paper and pens. We both sit up against my headboard, but the guitar he leaves here is against the wall. He doesn’t retrieve it, and instead, we decide to start with lyrics first.
On the way home, I had the thought that I wanted things to feel this way forever. I wanted to bottle up his love and save it forever. As soon as I had that thought, I knew I wanted to write a song that revolved around that feeling. At the top of the page, I write the potential title, “Love Worth Saving.” I write the first few lines of lyrics as they come to me.
Got a little money
Enough to get us by
Our house ain’t pretty honey
But baby it keeps us dry
Our friends ain’t rich or famous
But we pretend on the weekend
I tap the page as I move my fingers across the lyrics to give Ridge an idea of the pacing of the song. He pats his hand on his knee in time with mine and then reaches for the pen and writes, “Chorus,” then follows that up with a few lines of his own.
Even if our clothes are fading
They’ll always look new on you
Even when the times are changing
Nothing’s gonna change my view on you
You know we got a love worth saving
As soon as I see the lines, “Even if our clothes are fading, they’ll always look new on you,” I smile. Last week we were having a conversation about my possibly changing degree paths. I still don’t know what I want to do, but he was supportive of whatever I decide, even if it means we’ll struggle financially a little longer. He said those words to me, that clothes would look new on me, even if they’re faded, and I told him he better put it in a song. It’s almost as if he’s been waiting for this moment and already had those lyrics prepared. It’s incredible how seamlessly we work together. Writing music is such a solitary thing, much like how I assume writing a book would be. But when we’re together, it just works. It’s like we’re better together than we are alone.
He’s tapping through the beat of the chorus, but I’m still stuck on the lyrics he wrote. I draw a heart next to them to let him know I love them. Then I pause for a moment until I can come up with the next few lines of lyrics.
Don’t need no gold or diamonds
Got the glow right in your eyes
If it’s your love you’re selling
You know I’m gon’ keep on buyin’
We can make something outta nothing
Just keep that feel good coming
Ridge hops off the bed and grabs his guitar. I decide to use the record feature on the keyboard, so I move over to the bench and he sits next to me on the bed. He spends the next fifteen minutes working out the song on his guitar, and I use what he’s creating on the guitar to match it with the piano.
He adds a few more lyrics and another chorus, and within an hour, the song is mostly worked out. We just need to give it to Brennan for a rough recording this week to see how it sounds. This was one of the easier ones we’ve written together. I record us playing through it again and then hit play on the keyboard so I can listen to it. It’s more upbeat than most of the songs we write together.
I love writing with two instruments. The options to add more variations using the keyboard makes the song sound more polished than ones we’ve sent Brennan in the past just using Ridge’s guitar. I’m so excited about the song and the gift Ridge gave me that it makes me want to dance as it’s playing back.
Ridge sets his guitar aside and watches me dance around the room as the song plays. I laugh every time our eyes meet because I’m in such a good mood. At one point, when I glance at him, he’s not smiling. I pause, wondering what just changed in him.
He signs, “I wish I could dance with you.”
“You can. You have.”
He shakes his head. “Not to a slow song where I just stand there. I mean like this.” He waves his hand toward me. “To a faster rhythm.”
My chest tightens with his words. I step toward him and hold out his hand, pulling him up. “Ridge Lawson, you can do anything you want.”
I wrap one hand around his neck, and he places his hands on my waist. I start tapping against his chest along with the beat of the song. I move left to right to the rhythm, and he starts to follow my lead. I sing the lyrics so he can watch my mouth and know where we are in the song. When the song ends, I reach over and hit play again so we can keep going.
Ridge starts to fall in line with the rhythm, and I laugh when it finally happens. He laughs, too, as he starts to take over and keep up with a beat he can’t even hear. He leads me around the room as I sing and tap against him. At the end of the final chorus, he spins me and then pulls me against his chest as we both come to a slow stop.
He holds me there, staring down at me as I look up at him. We’re both smiling. Looking in his eyes, I can see the complete appreciation he has for me like I’ve never seen before. Like I just gave him something he thought he would never experience.
For me, it was a simple dance—something I do all the time and take for granted. For him, it was a breakthrough. Something he’s never done before that he believed he couldn’t do.
How he’s probably feeling right now is how he makes me feel every time he turns on the stereo for me. It’s the little things like these that create the biggest moments between us.
He takes my face in his hands, preparing to say something to me. But instead of speaking or signing, he just drags in a speechless breath as he stares silently at me. He lowers his mouth to mine, kissing me gently on the lips. Then he meets my eyes, conveying more with one look than he’s ever conveyed through any other form of our communication.
“Sydney,” he says quietly. “Everything we’ve gone through to get here. Right here. It was all worth it.”
I grin as I turn on the dishwasher. “You did?”
He reaches out for my hand. “It’s in your bedroom.”
I have no idea what it is, but I grab his hand with both of mine and pull him to the bedroom because I’m excited. He pulls me back so he can walk through the door first. He lets go of my hands so he can sign what he’s speaking. “We were writing a song together once when you mentioned how you wish you had one of these.”
He pushes open the door and walks to my bed, then pulls a huge box out from beneath it. It’s an electric keyboard, complete with a stand and a stool. I recognize the brand immediately. It’s the same ones we use in my music classes, so I know exactly how much he spent on this gift, and I immediately want to tell him I can’t accept it. But at the same time, I’m so excited about it, I rush over to it and run my hand over the box.
I throw my arms around him and kiss him all over his face. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
He laughs, knowing how happy he just made me. “Is it the right one?”
I nod. “It’s perfect.”
I had a piano growing up at my parent’s house, but it’s too big to travel with. I grew up playing it, which started my love for music. I’ve slowly been integrating other instruments, but the piano is where my heart is. Ridge sets the keyboard up against the wall. I sit down and start playing a song, and Ridge sits down on the bed. He watches my hands with the same appreciation as someone who would be able to hear what they’re creating.
When I finish playing the song, I run my hand appreciatively over the keys. I can’t believe he remembered one comment I made a long time ago about wishing I had a piano like the ones we use at school. “Why did you get me this?”
“Because. You’re good at songwriting, Syd. Really good. You deserve an instrument that can help you create music.”
I crinkle up my nose at him because he knows I’m weird with compliments. Just like he is, I guess. I crawl onto the bed with him and wrap my arms around him, looking him in the eyes. “Thank you.”
He brushes my hair back, sliding his hand to the side of my head. “You’re welcome.”
I’m inspired. By him, by his gift, by the feeling I had on my way home when the windows were down and the music was blaring. “Let’s write a song right now. I got an idea on the way home from work.” I lean over to the nightstand and grab the pad of paper and pens. We both sit up against my headboard, but the guitar he leaves here is against the wall. He doesn’t retrieve it, and instead, we decide to start with lyrics first.
On the way home, I had the thought that I wanted things to feel this way forever. I wanted to bottle up his love and save it forever. As soon as I had that thought, I knew I wanted to write a song that revolved around that feeling. At the top of the page, I write the potential title, “Love Worth Saving.” I write the first few lines of lyrics as they come to me.
Got a little money
Enough to get us by
Our house ain’t pretty honey
But baby it keeps us dry
Our friends ain’t rich or famous
But we pretend on the weekend
I tap the page as I move my fingers across the lyrics to give Ridge an idea of the pacing of the song. He pats his hand on his knee in time with mine and then reaches for the pen and writes, “Chorus,” then follows that up with a few lines of his own.
Even if our clothes are fading
They’ll always look new on you
Even when the times are changing
Nothing’s gonna change my view on you
You know we got a love worth saving
As soon as I see the lines, “Even if our clothes are fading, they’ll always look new on you,” I smile. Last week we were having a conversation about my possibly changing degree paths. I still don’t know what I want to do, but he was supportive of whatever I decide, even if it means we’ll struggle financially a little longer. He said those words to me, that clothes would look new on me, even if they’re faded, and I told him he better put it in a song. It’s almost as if he’s been waiting for this moment and already had those lyrics prepared. It’s incredible how seamlessly we work together. Writing music is such a solitary thing, much like how I assume writing a book would be. But when we’re together, it just works. It’s like we’re better together than we are alone.
He’s tapping through the beat of the chorus, but I’m still stuck on the lyrics he wrote. I draw a heart next to them to let him know I love them. Then I pause for a moment until I can come up with the next few lines of lyrics.
Don’t need no gold or diamonds
Got the glow right in your eyes
If it’s your love you’re selling
You know I’m gon’ keep on buyin’
We can make something outta nothing
Just keep that feel good coming
Ridge hops off the bed and grabs his guitar. I decide to use the record feature on the keyboard, so I move over to the bench and he sits next to me on the bed. He spends the next fifteen minutes working out the song on his guitar, and I use what he’s creating on the guitar to match it with the piano.
He adds a few more lyrics and another chorus, and within an hour, the song is mostly worked out. We just need to give it to Brennan for a rough recording this week to see how it sounds. This was one of the easier ones we’ve written together. I record us playing through it again and then hit play on the keyboard so I can listen to it. It’s more upbeat than most of the songs we write together.
I love writing with two instruments. The options to add more variations using the keyboard makes the song sound more polished than ones we’ve sent Brennan in the past just using Ridge’s guitar. I’m so excited about the song and the gift Ridge gave me that it makes me want to dance as it’s playing back.
Ridge sets his guitar aside and watches me dance around the room as the song plays. I laugh every time our eyes meet because I’m in such a good mood. At one point, when I glance at him, he’s not smiling. I pause, wondering what just changed in him.
He signs, “I wish I could dance with you.”
“You can. You have.”
He shakes his head. “Not to a slow song where I just stand there. I mean like this.” He waves his hand toward me. “To a faster rhythm.”
My chest tightens with his words. I step toward him and hold out his hand, pulling him up. “Ridge Lawson, you can do anything you want.”
I wrap one hand around his neck, and he places his hands on my waist. I start tapping against his chest along with the beat of the song. I move left to right to the rhythm, and he starts to follow my lead. I sing the lyrics so he can watch my mouth and know where we are in the song. When the song ends, I reach over and hit play again so we can keep going.
Ridge starts to fall in line with the rhythm, and I laugh when it finally happens. He laughs, too, as he starts to take over and keep up with a beat he can’t even hear. He leads me around the room as I sing and tap against him. At the end of the final chorus, he spins me and then pulls me against his chest as we both come to a slow stop.
He holds me there, staring down at me as I look up at him. We’re both smiling. Looking in his eyes, I can see the complete appreciation he has for me like I’ve never seen before. Like I just gave him something he thought he would never experience.
For me, it was a simple dance—something I do all the time and take for granted. For him, it was a breakthrough. Something he’s never done before that he believed he couldn’t do.
How he’s probably feeling right now is how he makes me feel every time he turns on the stereo for me. It’s the little things like these that create the biggest moments between us.
He takes my face in his hands, preparing to say something to me. But instead of speaking or signing, he just drags in a speechless breath as he stares silently at me. He lowers his mouth to mine, kissing me gently on the lips. Then he meets my eyes, conveying more with one look than he’s ever conveyed through any other form of our communication.
“Sydney,” he says quietly. “Everything we’ve gone through to get here. Right here. It was all worth it.”
