Maybe Now
Page 60
He sits down next to me on the bed, and I bump him with my shoulder as I grin at him. “Maybe someday.”
He smiles back. “Maybe someday.”
I look back down at the ring and run my finger over it. It looks like an antique. “It’s a beautiful ring.”
He picks up his phone and begins texting me. I pull out my phone to read it.
Ridge: It belonged to Maggie’s grandmother. Her grandfather gave it to me while she and I were dating, but I never got around to asking her. I’ve been meaning to give it back to her since our breakup, but the timing was always weird. She doesn’t know I have it.
Sydney: You keep it in your sock drawer. That’s the most obvious place for a ring to be hidden. She’s more than likely seen this.
Ridge: It’s been in my closet for three years. I just moved it to the sock drawer two weeks ago to remind myself to give it to her.
Sydney: You’ve had it for three years and never proposed? What was stopping you?
Ridge shrugs and then says, “It never felt right.”
I want to smile, but I don’t. It’s just that hearing him say it never felt right makes me feel good. Should it? Who knows? I’m honestly tired of second-guessing my reactions to every little thing I feel. From now on, I just want to feel. Unabashedly. Without guilt. And right now, I feel relieved. Relieved that the ring isn’t for me, but also relieved that he never gave it to Maggie.
“I’ll give it back to her tomorrow.” He reaches for it, but I pull it away from him.
“No,” I say. “I think you should wait.”
“Wait? Why?”
I text him my lengthy response because it’s too much to try to sign for me and too much for him to try to understand.
Me: I think this ring would mean a lot to Maggie. And I know it’s still new between them, but I think Jake means a lot to her, too. Maybe you should wait and see how things go with the two of them. If they fall in love, I think you should give the ring to Jake. Not Maggie.
Ridge smiles after he reads my text. Then he looks at me appreciatively. “Okay.”
I hand him the ring, and he walks it back to the drawer. He slides his hands into his pockets. “What do you want to do for the rest of the night?”
I shrug. “Seeing Warren’s ass got me out of the mood for a round two.”
Ridge laughs and drops down on the bed next to me. “We could go watch a movie.”
“Nope,” I say, shaking my head immediately. “Not sitting on that couch ever again.”
“No, I mean at a theater.”
“But…how would that be fun for you? There aren’t any captions.”
“Then take your earplugs and we’ll deaf-watch it together.”
I stand up, eager and ready. A date. I may not be in the mood for sex right now, thanks to Warren, but I am so in the mood for a date with my boyfriend of less than a month, whom I love with all my soul, but do not want an engagement ring from quite yet.
When I woke up this morning, I made her breakfast. Bacon, eggs, biscuits. The works. And just as I had hoped, the outcome was the complete opposite from when I made her breakfast at her place, after the first night we spent together. She walked over to me, wearing nothing but a bra and the shirt I came home from work in yesterday. Unbuttoned. I couldn’t stop staring at her; I almost burnt the eggs.
She kissed me on my cheek and then made herself something to drink. I was already running late, but I didn’t care. I wanted to eat breakfast with her, so I stayed another half hour. When I started to leave for work, she was getting dressed. The thought of not seeing her again for another week or two was not a thought I wanted to entertain.
“Stay,” I said, pulling her to me before I walked out the door.
She smiled up at me. “Why? So I can clean the kitchen you just destroyed while cooking for me?”
I’m still so embarrassed she cleaned my house yesterday.
Appreciative, yes. But it was in the worst condition it’s ever been in. I’ve worked so much over the last couple of weeks, all I can do is crash when I get home. And Justice was sick, so his chores weren’t getting done. I’m a messy person, but I’ve never been as messy as what she walked into yesterday.
“Stay and be lazy. Watch Netflix. I have chocolate in the pantry.”
She grinned. “What kind of chocolate?”
“Reeses. Maybe some Twix.”
Her nose scrunched up. “Sounds tempting, but I need to watch my sugar.”
“There’s sugar-free chocolate, too.”
“Ugh,” she said, letting her head fall back in defeat. “I can’t say no to that. Or you. What time will you be back?”
“I don’t know. I’ll try to move around some afternoon appointments.”
“Okay. But I’m taking your advice and not cleaning.” She gave me a peck on the lips and then dropped down on the couch. “I’m staying right here. All day.”
“Good.” I leaned over her and gave her a kiss. A good kiss. No, a great kiss. One that stayed with me all day. One I can’t wait to get back home to repeat.
I was able to move around my last three appointments today. It’s the second time in two weeks I’ve done this. It’s out of the norm for me, so my nurse, Vicky, knew something was up. When I was on my way out the door, she said, “Have fun on your date.”
I paused and turned around to look at her. She shot me a knowing look and walked back down the hallway.
I didn’t think I was being transparent, but it’s hard to hide this kind of euphoria. I’m not sure I’ve ever known this side of a relationship. With Chrissy, we became parents so early on into our relationship. Before that, we were just kids. Between medical school and raising Justice, we never really took the time to just enjoy each other.
I like it.
I’m really enjoying Maggie’s company. I hate the idea that she’ll probably leave tonight or in the morning, but I’ve also vowed not to beg her to stay like I did this morning. Weak moment. I need to remember this is the same girl who freaked out on me twice already. I’m new at getting back into the dating game and don’t want to scare her away again.
•••
Yeah, that promise I made to myself earlier lasted three hours.
We just got back from dinner, and she’s shoving her things back into her backpack.
“Leave in the morning,” I say.
She laughs and shakes her head. “Jake, I can’t. There has to be some rule that says you can’t stay two nights in a row with someone you aren’t even officially dating.”
“Then let’s make it official. Be my girlfriend. Spend the night.”
She looks at me funny.
“Oh, was that not a hint that you wanted to make it official?”
“No, I only said that because it’s a concern. I don’t want to smother you.”
I brush her hair out of her face. “I wouldn’t mind that.”
She drops her forehead against my chest and groans, then takes a step away from me. “We have responsibilities. I have three weeks left of school. You have to work tomorrow. We can’t just pretend this is how it’s going to be. Some blissful, romantic, whirlwind of a relationship.”
“Who’s pretending?”
She raises an eyebrow like maybe I’m about to freak her out again. I can see her guard going up. I wrap my hand around her wrist and pull her back to me. “You know what?”
“What?”
“I am not your ex.”
“I’m very much aware of that,” she says.
“But just because I haven’t been around for most of your past doesn’t mean I’m not aware of our present. And all the things that might or might not happen in the future. Stop pretending we need to be more responsible than we are just because you’re scared of where this whirlwind takes us.”
“That was deep.”
“I’m trying to be shallow. I don’t want you to think about responsibilities or illnesses or what the rules of relationships should be tonight. I want you to drop your bag, kiss me, and stop worrying so much.” I press my forehead to hers. “Live in the moment, Maggie.”
He smiles back. “Maybe someday.”
I look back down at the ring and run my finger over it. It looks like an antique. “It’s a beautiful ring.”
He picks up his phone and begins texting me. I pull out my phone to read it.
Ridge: It belonged to Maggie’s grandmother. Her grandfather gave it to me while she and I were dating, but I never got around to asking her. I’ve been meaning to give it back to her since our breakup, but the timing was always weird. She doesn’t know I have it.
Sydney: You keep it in your sock drawer. That’s the most obvious place for a ring to be hidden. She’s more than likely seen this.
Ridge: It’s been in my closet for three years. I just moved it to the sock drawer two weeks ago to remind myself to give it to her.
Sydney: You’ve had it for three years and never proposed? What was stopping you?
Ridge shrugs and then says, “It never felt right.”
I want to smile, but I don’t. It’s just that hearing him say it never felt right makes me feel good. Should it? Who knows? I’m honestly tired of second-guessing my reactions to every little thing I feel. From now on, I just want to feel. Unabashedly. Without guilt. And right now, I feel relieved. Relieved that the ring isn’t for me, but also relieved that he never gave it to Maggie.
“I’ll give it back to her tomorrow.” He reaches for it, but I pull it away from him.
“No,” I say. “I think you should wait.”
“Wait? Why?”
I text him my lengthy response because it’s too much to try to sign for me and too much for him to try to understand.
Me: I think this ring would mean a lot to Maggie. And I know it’s still new between them, but I think Jake means a lot to her, too. Maybe you should wait and see how things go with the two of them. If they fall in love, I think you should give the ring to Jake. Not Maggie.
Ridge smiles after he reads my text. Then he looks at me appreciatively. “Okay.”
I hand him the ring, and he walks it back to the drawer. He slides his hands into his pockets. “What do you want to do for the rest of the night?”
I shrug. “Seeing Warren’s ass got me out of the mood for a round two.”
Ridge laughs and drops down on the bed next to me. “We could go watch a movie.”
“Nope,” I say, shaking my head immediately. “Not sitting on that couch ever again.”
“No, I mean at a theater.”
“But…how would that be fun for you? There aren’t any captions.”
“Then take your earplugs and we’ll deaf-watch it together.”
I stand up, eager and ready. A date. I may not be in the mood for sex right now, thanks to Warren, but I am so in the mood for a date with my boyfriend of less than a month, whom I love with all my soul, but do not want an engagement ring from quite yet.
When I woke up this morning, I made her breakfast. Bacon, eggs, biscuits. The works. And just as I had hoped, the outcome was the complete opposite from when I made her breakfast at her place, after the first night we spent together. She walked over to me, wearing nothing but a bra and the shirt I came home from work in yesterday. Unbuttoned. I couldn’t stop staring at her; I almost burnt the eggs.
She kissed me on my cheek and then made herself something to drink. I was already running late, but I didn’t care. I wanted to eat breakfast with her, so I stayed another half hour. When I started to leave for work, she was getting dressed. The thought of not seeing her again for another week or two was not a thought I wanted to entertain.
“Stay,” I said, pulling her to me before I walked out the door.
She smiled up at me. “Why? So I can clean the kitchen you just destroyed while cooking for me?”
I’m still so embarrassed she cleaned my house yesterday.
Appreciative, yes. But it was in the worst condition it’s ever been in. I’ve worked so much over the last couple of weeks, all I can do is crash when I get home. And Justice was sick, so his chores weren’t getting done. I’m a messy person, but I’ve never been as messy as what she walked into yesterday.
“Stay and be lazy. Watch Netflix. I have chocolate in the pantry.”
She grinned. “What kind of chocolate?”
“Reeses. Maybe some Twix.”
Her nose scrunched up. “Sounds tempting, but I need to watch my sugar.”
“There’s sugar-free chocolate, too.”
“Ugh,” she said, letting her head fall back in defeat. “I can’t say no to that. Or you. What time will you be back?”
“I don’t know. I’ll try to move around some afternoon appointments.”
“Okay. But I’m taking your advice and not cleaning.” She gave me a peck on the lips and then dropped down on the couch. “I’m staying right here. All day.”
“Good.” I leaned over her and gave her a kiss. A good kiss. No, a great kiss. One that stayed with me all day. One I can’t wait to get back home to repeat.
I was able to move around my last three appointments today. It’s the second time in two weeks I’ve done this. It’s out of the norm for me, so my nurse, Vicky, knew something was up. When I was on my way out the door, she said, “Have fun on your date.”
I paused and turned around to look at her. She shot me a knowing look and walked back down the hallway.
I didn’t think I was being transparent, but it’s hard to hide this kind of euphoria. I’m not sure I’ve ever known this side of a relationship. With Chrissy, we became parents so early on into our relationship. Before that, we were just kids. Between medical school and raising Justice, we never really took the time to just enjoy each other.
I like it.
I’m really enjoying Maggie’s company. I hate the idea that she’ll probably leave tonight or in the morning, but I’ve also vowed not to beg her to stay like I did this morning. Weak moment. I need to remember this is the same girl who freaked out on me twice already. I’m new at getting back into the dating game and don’t want to scare her away again.
•••
Yeah, that promise I made to myself earlier lasted three hours.
We just got back from dinner, and she’s shoving her things back into her backpack.
“Leave in the morning,” I say.
She laughs and shakes her head. “Jake, I can’t. There has to be some rule that says you can’t stay two nights in a row with someone you aren’t even officially dating.”
“Then let’s make it official. Be my girlfriend. Spend the night.”
She looks at me funny.
“Oh, was that not a hint that you wanted to make it official?”
“No, I only said that because it’s a concern. I don’t want to smother you.”
I brush her hair out of her face. “I wouldn’t mind that.”
She drops her forehead against my chest and groans, then takes a step away from me. “We have responsibilities. I have three weeks left of school. You have to work tomorrow. We can’t just pretend this is how it’s going to be. Some blissful, romantic, whirlwind of a relationship.”
“Who’s pretending?”
She raises an eyebrow like maybe I’m about to freak her out again. I can see her guard going up. I wrap my hand around her wrist and pull her back to me. “You know what?”
“What?”
“I am not your ex.”
“I’m very much aware of that,” she says.
“But just because I haven’t been around for most of your past doesn’t mean I’m not aware of our present. And all the things that might or might not happen in the future. Stop pretending we need to be more responsible than we are just because you’re scared of where this whirlwind takes us.”
“That was deep.”
“I’m trying to be shallow. I don’t want you to think about responsibilities or illnesses or what the rules of relationships should be tonight. I want you to drop your bag, kiss me, and stop worrying so much.” I press my forehead to hers. “Live in the moment, Maggie.”
