Maybe Now
Page 63
“Sydney.” She’s grinning so wide right now, it makes me smile. “I wrote a happy song for you this time. Because…well…you make me happy. No matter what happens or where we go…we’re in it together. And that makes me so fucking happy.”
She laughs and wipes at a tear, then signs, You make me happy, too.
I take the guitar Brennan hands me and wait for his cue. Then I close my eyes and start playing the chords, repeating the lyrics quietly in my head while Brennan uses his voice to sing them out loud.
Well maybe we can be
Somewhere where the land and the water meet
Somewhere where the worry just can’t be
Only got enough room for you and me
Well maybe the sun will rise
And peek through the pulled down bamboo blinds
Shine across your slept on perfect hair
And we won’t care
No, we won’t care
Cuz we got everything, everything we need right here
The world can try to make it all disappear
But let me tell you something that I happen to know
It’s gonna feel like this wherever we go
Wherever we go
Well what if all we saw
Was the rain dancing off the roof as it falls
Swaying in the leaves at the top of the tree
Water washing sand right from our feet
Well what if all we knew
Was right from wrong with no point of view
The day can go off the tracks up in the air
And we won’t care
No, we won’t care
Cuz we got everything, everything we need right here
The world can try and make it all disappear
But let me tell you something that I happen to know
It’s gonna feel like this wherever we go
Wherever we go
You know we’ll be here for a while
I think we better do it with a little style
So we make the most of every day like it’s faded away
We’ll be alright
Cuz we got everything, everything we need right here
The world can try and make it all disappear
But let me tell you something that I happen to know
It’s gonna feel like this wherever we go
Wherever we go
When the song is over, I hand the guitar to Brennan and make my way back down to the floor. I find Warren and Bridgette. I see Maggie and Jake. I spin around, but there’s no Sydney. I look at Maggie and sign, “Where did she go?”
Maggie points to the stage.
I spin around and look at where I was just sitting. Why is Sydney on stage?
Brennan is saying something to her as she takes a seat on the barstool. He looks out at the crowd and says something into the microphone, then signs it for me. “This is Sydney Blake. She’s one of our songwriters, and this is her first time on stage. Give her a round of applause.”
She looks nervous, but I don’t think she’s as nervous as I am for her. I had no idea she was doing this.
Brennan starts to play, and I move closer to the stage to see which chords he’s playing…which song. And I realize almost immediately that it’s “Maybe Someday”—our song. I look at Sydney, just as the lyrics are about to start, but there’s no microphone in front of her.
That’s when she starts to sign the words.
Holy shit. She’s signing the song for me.
Fuck. How am I supposed to just stand here and not get emotional?
I shake my head when she makes eye contact with me. I’m in complete disbelief as I watch her sign the lyrics to a song she’s completely rewritten into a new song.
Maybe Someday Now
I am right in front of you, here to stay
Breathe a little easier every day
Now that I’m yours. And you are mine.
You ask me what I’ll want someday
It’s the same as yesterday
All I want…is you
With you I’m at my best
Someday has been laid to rest
I am ready to make that a vow
Maybe tomorrow
Maybe now
When you speak, I listen close
Hear all the words you say in prose
We’re only silent when we kiss
I smell my perfume in your bed
Thoughts of you invade my head
Truths were written, now they’re said
With you I’m at my best
Someday has been laid to rest
I am ready to make that a vow
Maybe tomorrow
Maybe now
You hear my heartbeat every night
Life with you, it feels so right
We are endless, like our song
Only good can come this way
Nights with you turn into day
Forever yours, Forever mine
With you I’m at my best
Someday has been laid to rest
I am ready to make that a vow
Maybe tomorrow
Or maybe now
I don’t remember when the song ended or when she walked off the stage or when she appeared right in front of me. I just know that in one moment, I was watching her on stage, and the next moment, I was kissing her. I can feel the music to the next song playing, and I’m still kissing her. My hands are in her hair when I finally pull back and press my forehead to hers. “I love you,” I whisper.
I do. I love her so damn much.
•••
I’m not even sure what other songs were played after that. I couldn’t focus on anything other than Sydney. After the show, everyone met with the band backstage to figure out where we were going for dinner. While they chatted, Sydney and I stayed out in the hallway and made out. We’re at dinner now, and it’s torture keeping my hands off of her.
Brennan and the guys needed to get on the road, so it’s Syd and me, Maggie and Jake, and Warren and Bridgette. I’m not sure why we even got a communal table, because none of us couples are paying attention to each other.
Well…we weren’t. But Warren has turned his attention on Sydney now.
“Settle something for us,” he says, referring to Bridgette and him.
“What’s up?” Sydney says.
“So…in the song you rewrote…you mentioned vows. Was that a hint that you want to get married?”
Sydney laughs and then looks at me. She looks back at Warren and shakes her head. “We talked about how we weren’t ready a few months ago. When I was rewriting the song, I realized maybe I am. I mean…” She looks at me. “Did you take it that way? I wasn’t saying I expect a proposal. I just meant whenever you’re ready…I’m ready.”
Yeah, I’m ready. But I don’t tell her that. She deserves a more thought-out proposal.
“Hold up,” Warren says before I can even respond. “Slow down. Bridgette and I have been together the longest. We should get married first.”
“No,” Bridgette says. “I think Jake and Maggie should get married first. She has less time.”
I was hoping I misread her lips, but she just made Sydney spew out her drink, so I guess I understood what Bridgette said just fine. Bridgette is lucky that Maggie is laughing at her right now, rather than choking her.
“What?” Bridgette says innocently. “It’s true.” She looks at Maggie. “I’m not trying to be mean. But seriously, you should try to do as much as you can as fast as you can. It makes sense. Add marriage to your bucket list and get it over with.”
Maggie’s cheeks are a shade darker than they were before all the attention was on her. Bridgette doesn’t seem to care that she’s embarrassing her. Or maybe she just doesn’t notice.
“We aren’t getting married,” Maggie says. “We’ve only known each other for a few months. Statistically speaking, the less time you date someone before you marry them, the greater your chances of it ending in divorce.”
Warren leans forward, holding up a finger in thought. It always makes me nervous when he tries to impart wisdom on other people. “Maybe so,” he says. “But wouldn’t adding marriage to your bucket list be worth the risk? You and Jake can date like this forever and you’ll never know what it’s like to get married. Or you can risk it and possibly experience marriage and divorce before you die.”
Jake cocks an eyebrow and glances at Maggie. “Sounds like a win-win to me.”
Maggie’s eyes widen. Jake smiles at her while he takes a sip of his drink. And then he says, “It makes sense if you think about it. At the risk of sounding like a medical professional, your life expectancy isn’t as long as mine. So…I’m ready when you’re ready.”
She laughs and wipes at a tear, then signs, You make me happy, too.
I take the guitar Brennan hands me and wait for his cue. Then I close my eyes and start playing the chords, repeating the lyrics quietly in my head while Brennan uses his voice to sing them out loud.
Well maybe we can be
Somewhere where the land and the water meet
Somewhere where the worry just can’t be
Only got enough room for you and me
Well maybe the sun will rise
And peek through the pulled down bamboo blinds
Shine across your slept on perfect hair
And we won’t care
No, we won’t care
Cuz we got everything, everything we need right here
The world can try to make it all disappear
But let me tell you something that I happen to know
It’s gonna feel like this wherever we go
Wherever we go
Well what if all we saw
Was the rain dancing off the roof as it falls
Swaying in the leaves at the top of the tree
Water washing sand right from our feet
Well what if all we knew
Was right from wrong with no point of view
The day can go off the tracks up in the air
And we won’t care
No, we won’t care
Cuz we got everything, everything we need right here
The world can try and make it all disappear
But let me tell you something that I happen to know
It’s gonna feel like this wherever we go
Wherever we go
You know we’ll be here for a while
I think we better do it with a little style
So we make the most of every day like it’s faded away
We’ll be alright
Cuz we got everything, everything we need right here
The world can try and make it all disappear
But let me tell you something that I happen to know
It’s gonna feel like this wherever we go
Wherever we go
When the song is over, I hand the guitar to Brennan and make my way back down to the floor. I find Warren and Bridgette. I see Maggie and Jake. I spin around, but there’s no Sydney. I look at Maggie and sign, “Where did she go?”
Maggie points to the stage.
I spin around and look at where I was just sitting. Why is Sydney on stage?
Brennan is saying something to her as she takes a seat on the barstool. He looks out at the crowd and says something into the microphone, then signs it for me. “This is Sydney Blake. She’s one of our songwriters, and this is her first time on stage. Give her a round of applause.”
She looks nervous, but I don’t think she’s as nervous as I am for her. I had no idea she was doing this.
Brennan starts to play, and I move closer to the stage to see which chords he’s playing…which song. And I realize almost immediately that it’s “Maybe Someday”—our song. I look at Sydney, just as the lyrics are about to start, but there’s no microphone in front of her.
That’s when she starts to sign the words.
Holy shit. She’s signing the song for me.
Fuck. How am I supposed to just stand here and not get emotional?
I shake my head when she makes eye contact with me. I’m in complete disbelief as I watch her sign the lyrics to a song she’s completely rewritten into a new song.
Maybe Someday Now
I am right in front of you, here to stay
Breathe a little easier every day
Now that I’m yours. And you are mine.
You ask me what I’ll want someday
It’s the same as yesterday
All I want…is you
With you I’m at my best
Someday has been laid to rest
I am ready to make that a vow
Maybe tomorrow
Maybe now
When you speak, I listen close
Hear all the words you say in prose
We’re only silent when we kiss
I smell my perfume in your bed
Thoughts of you invade my head
Truths were written, now they’re said
With you I’m at my best
Someday has been laid to rest
I am ready to make that a vow
Maybe tomorrow
Maybe now
You hear my heartbeat every night
Life with you, it feels so right
We are endless, like our song
Only good can come this way
Nights with you turn into day
Forever yours, Forever mine
With you I’m at my best
Someday has been laid to rest
I am ready to make that a vow
Maybe tomorrow
Or maybe now
I don’t remember when the song ended or when she walked off the stage or when she appeared right in front of me. I just know that in one moment, I was watching her on stage, and the next moment, I was kissing her. I can feel the music to the next song playing, and I’m still kissing her. My hands are in her hair when I finally pull back and press my forehead to hers. “I love you,” I whisper.
I do. I love her so damn much.
•••
I’m not even sure what other songs were played after that. I couldn’t focus on anything other than Sydney. After the show, everyone met with the band backstage to figure out where we were going for dinner. While they chatted, Sydney and I stayed out in the hallway and made out. We’re at dinner now, and it’s torture keeping my hands off of her.
Brennan and the guys needed to get on the road, so it’s Syd and me, Maggie and Jake, and Warren and Bridgette. I’m not sure why we even got a communal table, because none of us couples are paying attention to each other.
Well…we weren’t. But Warren has turned his attention on Sydney now.
“Settle something for us,” he says, referring to Bridgette and him.
“What’s up?” Sydney says.
“So…in the song you rewrote…you mentioned vows. Was that a hint that you want to get married?”
Sydney laughs and then looks at me. She looks back at Warren and shakes her head. “We talked about how we weren’t ready a few months ago. When I was rewriting the song, I realized maybe I am. I mean…” She looks at me. “Did you take it that way? I wasn’t saying I expect a proposal. I just meant whenever you’re ready…I’m ready.”
Yeah, I’m ready. But I don’t tell her that. She deserves a more thought-out proposal.
“Hold up,” Warren says before I can even respond. “Slow down. Bridgette and I have been together the longest. We should get married first.”
“No,” Bridgette says. “I think Jake and Maggie should get married first. She has less time.”
I was hoping I misread her lips, but she just made Sydney spew out her drink, so I guess I understood what Bridgette said just fine. Bridgette is lucky that Maggie is laughing at her right now, rather than choking her.
“What?” Bridgette says innocently. “It’s true.” She looks at Maggie. “I’m not trying to be mean. But seriously, you should try to do as much as you can as fast as you can. It makes sense. Add marriage to your bucket list and get it over with.”
Maggie’s cheeks are a shade darker than they were before all the attention was on her. Bridgette doesn’t seem to care that she’s embarrassing her. Or maybe she just doesn’t notice.
“We aren’t getting married,” Maggie says. “We’ve only known each other for a few months. Statistically speaking, the less time you date someone before you marry them, the greater your chances of it ending in divorce.”
Warren leans forward, holding up a finger in thought. It always makes me nervous when he tries to impart wisdom on other people. “Maybe so,” he says. “But wouldn’t adding marriage to your bucket list be worth the risk? You and Jake can date like this forever and you’ll never know what it’s like to get married. Or you can risk it and possibly experience marriage and divorce before you die.”
Jake cocks an eyebrow and glances at Maggie. “Sounds like a win-win to me.”
Maggie’s eyes widen. Jake smiles at her while he takes a sip of his drink. And then he says, “It makes sense if you think about it. At the risk of sounding like a medical professional, your life expectancy isn’t as long as mine. So…I’m ready when you’re ready.”
