Me and My Shadow
Page 37
“It’s a dessert topping! It’s a floor wax!” Jim said. “It’s the answer to all your demon lord problems!”
“No more Saturday Night Live reruns for you,” Aisling told it firmly.
“So what you’re saying is that I’m stuck with him?” I asked Nora.
“What is going on over here? Who is this dark and compelling man who wears the tight breeches?” Catalina demanded to know as she and Kaawa came over to join the fun. She eyed Magoth as if he were a piece of candy being offered to her.
He didn’t so much as throw a glance her way.
“This is Magoth, my . . . er . . . for lack of a better word, boss,” I said, introducing her. “Magoth, this lady is Drake’s mother, doña Catalina de Elférez.”
“I have no interest in other women now that you have shown your true colors to me, my dark and deadly one,” Magoth murmured as he sucked my knuckles.
I tried to wrench my hand free. He just dug his fingers in harder, sending me a smoldering look.
“He smells like the demons,” Catalina said, strolling around behind him to get a look at the rear view. “He has magnificent buttocks, though.”
Magoth stopped sucking my knuckle to turn and look at her.
She ogled his pants for a moment. “Very tight breeches. I like tight breeches.”
“Mother,” Drake said, with a look on his face that spoke volumes.
“Do not mind him,” Catalina said, her eyes half-shut as she gave Magoth a come-hither look. “He does not like to think of his mama having lovers. But I am different. You remind me a bit of my husband. Drake, does he not look like your accursed father?”
“No,” Drake said adamantly at the same time Magoth pounced on a word I knew he would enjoy.
“Accursed?” he asked, giving Catalina a return ogle. “You have the unmistakable aura of one who truly understands the needs and desires that all demon lords feel. Tell me, my Spanish beauty, how do you feel about restraints with regards to lovemaking?”
“They are most necessary,” she said with a little shrug. “How would you be able to torment your partner if he could stop you?”
Magoth dropped my hand and all but shimmied over to her, pressing his lips to her palm. “I like how you think, my exotic little olive. And nipple clamps? Your opinion on them?”
“Again, necessary,” Catalina said. “Although I prefer piercings to clamps. Much more reliable when used for leashing purposes.”
A little shudder of ecstasy shook Magoth as his tongue swept out over her palm. “You are a woman who knows her pleasures.”
“Stop licking my mother!” Drake demanded, and looked like he was going to use bodily force to stop Magoth.
“Words I never thought I’d hear,” Jim snickered.
“On the other hand, whips are overrated,” Catalina volunteered. “A cat, however . . .”
Magoth trembled, his eyes closing for a moment. “One with hundreds of tiny little barbs?”
“Excellent for ensuring that you have your partner’s full attention,” she agreed.
“Dear heaven, what hath we wrought?”Aisling asked, gesturing to Drake, who assisted her to her feet. “Potty break. Be back in a minute. Or maybe longer if they’re going to go into any more specifics. Jim, heel.”
“What? Hey! I wanna watch and see if Magoth is gonna pork Drake’s mom—”
The door closed on the demon’s objections.
Kaawa, who had been standing watching the scene with a slight smile, met my gaze. “Perhaps now would be a good time for us to discuss what you will need to do to re-form the dragon heart.”
“Absolutely,” I said, with heartfelt appreciation at the suggestion. Anything that got me out of Magoth’s way was going to have my full approval. “Drake, I hate to disturb you when you’re busy scowling at Magoth, but is there a room we can use?”
“Mother!” Drake said a bit more forcefully, his green eyes glittering at Magoth, who, I’m sure it need not be said, totally ignored him. “You will remember your agreement—you may stay here so long as you do not upset Aisling.”
“She’s not even in the room,” Catalina cooed, biting Magoth’s ear.
“You know what I mean.”
I tugged on Drake’s sleeve until I had his attention, saying softly, “He can’t hurt your mother, can he? I mean that since she’s a wyvern’s mate, she’s immortal, correct?”
“Immortal, yes. Possessing good taste?” He turned back to glare at Magoth. “Clearly she’s failed in this regard.”
“Then if you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you let them . . . er . . . for lack of a more circumspect phrase, go at it.”
Drake looked at me in surprise. Kaawa hid a little chirrup of laughter behind her hand as she pretended to cough.
“It will keep him off my back while I learn what I need to do with the shards,” I explained.
He didn’t like it, but in the end, Aisling helped me persuade him that they couldn’t do any harm to each other.
“Things are starting to get a bit tight around the seams, but I think we can squeeze you in,” Aisling said to Kaawa as we slowly made our way upstairs. “There’s one last room free, although it’s not normally one I’d put a guest in, especially such a distinguished guest as Gabriel’s mom.”
“Psht,” Kaawa said, waving away the apology. “I spend most of my days out in the bush, so a soft bed and a roof over my head will be a luxury.”
“There’s the problem of Magoth, though,” Aisling said, her forehead wrinkling.“I’m afraid we’re fresh out of rooms. I suppose he could sleep on the sofa or something.”
“He will not sleep here,” Drake said decisively from behind her, giving her a little boost to make it up the last few steps. “I will not have a demon lord in the same house as you while you are in such a delicate state.”
She spun around so quickly she whomped him with her belly. “I’m hardly delicate, Drake. I’m as big as a leviathan, and twice as ungainly.”
“Three times, actually,” Jim said, eyeing her. “You know, it’s actually a wonder you can fit through a door with that thing. I wonder if you’ll just keep growing until one day you explode.”
“No more Saturday Night Live reruns for you,” Aisling told it firmly.
“So what you’re saying is that I’m stuck with him?” I asked Nora.
“What is going on over here? Who is this dark and compelling man who wears the tight breeches?” Catalina demanded to know as she and Kaawa came over to join the fun. She eyed Magoth as if he were a piece of candy being offered to her.
He didn’t so much as throw a glance her way.
“This is Magoth, my . . . er . . . for lack of a better word, boss,” I said, introducing her. “Magoth, this lady is Drake’s mother, doña Catalina de Elférez.”
“I have no interest in other women now that you have shown your true colors to me, my dark and deadly one,” Magoth murmured as he sucked my knuckles.
I tried to wrench my hand free. He just dug his fingers in harder, sending me a smoldering look.
“He smells like the demons,” Catalina said, strolling around behind him to get a look at the rear view. “He has magnificent buttocks, though.”
Magoth stopped sucking my knuckle to turn and look at her.
She ogled his pants for a moment. “Very tight breeches. I like tight breeches.”
“Mother,” Drake said, with a look on his face that spoke volumes.
“Do not mind him,” Catalina said, her eyes half-shut as she gave Magoth a come-hither look. “He does not like to think of his mama having lovers. But I am different. You remind me a bit of my husband. Drake, does he not look like your accursed father?”
“No,” Drake said adamantly at the same time Magoth pounced on a word I knew he would enjoy.
“Accursed?” he asked, giving Catalina a return ogle. “You have the unmistakable aura of one who truly understands the needs and desires that all demon lords feel. Tell me, my Spanish beauty, how do you feel about restraints with regards to lovemaking?”
“They are most necessary,” she said with a little shrug. “How would you be able to torment your partner if he could stop you?”
Magoth dropped my hand and all but shimmied over to her, pressing his lips to her palm. “I like how you think, my exotic little olive. And nipple clamps? Your opinion on them?”
“Again, necessary,” Catalina said. “Although I prefer piercings to clamps. Much more reliable when used for leashing purposes.”
A little shudder of ecstasy shook Magoth as his tongue swept out over her palm. “You are a woman who knows her pleasures.”
“Stop licking my mother!” Drake demanded, and looked like he was going to use bodily force to stop Magoth.
“Words I never thought I’d hear,” Jim snickered.
“On the other hand, whips are overrated,” Catalina volunteered. “A cat, however . . .”
Magoth trembled, his eyes closing for a moment. “One with hundreds of tiny little barbs?”
“Excellent for ensuring that you have your partner’s full attention,” she agreed.
“Dear heaven, what hath we wrought?”Aisling asked, gesturing to Drake, who assisted her to her feet. “Potty break. Be back in a minute. Or maybe longer if they’re going to go into any more specifics. Jim, heel.”
“What? Hey! I wanna watch and see if Magoth is gonna pork Drake’s mom—”
The door closed on the demon’s objections.
Kaawa, who had been standing watching the scene with a slight smile, met my gaze. “Perhaps now would be a good time for us to discuss what you will need to do to re-form the dragon heart.”
“Absolutely,” I said, with heartfelt appreciation at the suggestion. Anything that got me out of Magoth’s way was going to have my full approval. “Drake, I hate to disturb you when you’re busy scowling at Magoth, but is there a room we can use?”
“Mother!” Drake said a bit more forcefully, his green eyes glittering at Magoth, who, I’m sure it need not be said, totally ignored him. “You will remember your agreement—you may stay here so long as you do not upset Aisling.”
“She’s not even in the room,” Catalina cooed, biting Magoth’s ear.
“You know what I mean.”
I tugged on Drake’s sleeve until I had his attention, saying softly, “He can’t hurt your mother, can he? I mean that since she’s a wyvern’s mate, she’s immortal, correct?”
“Immortal, yes. Possessing good taste?” He turned back to glare at Magoth. “Clearly she’s failed in this regard.”
“Then if you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you let them . . . er . . . for lack of a more circumspect phrase, go at it.”
Drake looked at me in surprise. Kaawa hid a little chirrup of laughter behind her hand as she pretended to cough.
“It will keep him off my back while I learn what I need to do with the shards,” I explained.
He didn’t like it, but in the end, Aisling helped me persuade him that they couldn’t do any harm to each other.
“Things are starting to get a bit tight around the seams, but I think we can squeeze you in,” Aisling said to Kaawa as we slowly made our way upstairs. “There’s one last room free, although it’s not normally one I’d put a guest in, especially such a distinguished guest as Gabriel’s mom.”
“Psht,” Kaawa said, waving away the apology. “I spend most of my days out in the bush, so a soft bed and a roof over my head will be a luxury.”
“There’s the problem of Magoth, though,” Aisling said, her forehead wrinkling.“I’m afraid we’re fresh out of rooms. I suppose he could sleep on the sofa or something.”
“He will not sleep here,” Drake said decisively from behind her, giving her a little boost to make it up the last few steps. “I will not have a demon lord in the same house as you while you are in such a delicate state.”
She spun around so quickly she whomped him with her belly. “I’m hardly delicate, Drake. I’m as big as a leviathan, and twice as ungainly.”
“Three times, actually,” Jim said, eyeing her. “You know, it’s actually a wonder you can fit through a door with that thing. I wonder if you’ll just keep growing until one day you explode.”
