Meant to Be

Page 6

Sam’s face took on a shocked expression.
“You were abandoned?”
I could have kicked myself, after years of keeping my abandonment a secret from everyone, I had let it slip out with someone I had just met. Of course, I felt a kinship with Sam, but I still couldn’t believe I had let my guard down.
“I was found at a rest stop when I was two,” I answered uncomfortably.
“I was put in foster care when I was two,” Sam said in a voice laced with surprise.
“You were?” I asked, not quite believing her. Was Sam some kind of freak that made things up to make herself seem more interesting?
I felt myself freaking out. I couldn’t help feeling like someone was playing some kind of joke on me, first with Mark and now Sam. I would have believed that this was their idea of a good way to torment me if Sam didn’t look as surprised as I felt.
Sam must have felt the same, because she looked at me to see if I was pulling her leg. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“No, I wish I was. All of this is wigging me out,” I replied.
“Well to tell you the truth, I’m relieved. We can be freaks together,” Sam said, trying to lighten the mood.
I smiled a half smile. It was hard not to respond to Sam’s positive attitude. I had always been the glass half empty kind of person, but Sam was obviously a glass half full person.
We walked the rest of the way to my house in silence, both of us lost in the thoughts that were circling around in our heads.
By the time we reached my house, we both were sweating slightly from the short walk. I pulled open the fridge and grabbed two waters and two chocolate bars. My mom bought chocolate candy in bulk for me. I often joked that a candy bar a day, kept the doctor away. My mom had given up years ago, and as long as I brushed my teeth twice a day, she kept me stocked with chocolate.
I handed one of the bars to Sam, who was studying all the family pictures around our small house.
“My mom loves to take pictures,” I explained. “She hates photo albums though, so most of our pictures wind up in a frame, or get thrown into a box.”
“That’s me right after they found me,” I said, when I noticed Sam studying a picture of me where I was crying. My mom had told me that all I wanted to do was sleep. I never had to ask why, I already knew, he had been in my dreams, even then.
“I’m hungry,” I said, changing the subject. “Let’s order the pizza now, and listen to music upstairs while we wait for it.”
After ordering the pizza, we headed upstairs to my domain, which was more like a loft than a full upstairs. It was narrower than the space below, and consisted of my room, a bathroom, and a small sitting room between the bathroom and my room. The only other door upstairs of course, led to the hall closet that I kept mistaking as the bathroom.
“This is pretty,” Sam commented, as we settled into the chairs in the sitting area.
“Thanks. My mom and I wanted to make it a comfortable, soothing space.”
We had worked hard to create just the right look. We painted the walls a nice warm taupe that glowed when the sunlight hit them and placed bookshelves from floor to ceiling around the room for the many books we had both read over the years. In between the bookshelves we placed framed posters of some of our favorite books. The frames were made from the same tasteful wood as the bookshelves. We searched high and low for the two comfortable lazy boys that sat in the middle of the room. Both of us could read for hours, so we wanted to be comfortable. The last touch was a sturdy table to sit between the two chairs. We liked to snack while we read, so having a durable table to hold our drinks was a must.
“I’ll put some music on,” I said. “Do you have any preference?”
“No. Anything is fine.”
We listened to the music and talked until we heard the doorbell ring. After paying the delivery guy, I grabbed a couple sodas, and some paper plates and napkins.
We ate in silence, enjoying the cheesy pizza with its hearty sauce. Finally after dinner, Sam looked at me with a serious look on her face. “I’ve been putting off mentioning this, but I think we should make a list of things we have in common,” she told me. “That way, we’ll have a better idea of what we’re dealing with.”
I had to agree with her. I had been trying to ignore it all day, but it had become glaringly obvious that Sam and I shared some kind of link. I grabbed a notebook and started taking notes on our commonalities. Sam filled in the ones I had forgotten, making a point to mention our common defective “emotions,” as she liked to put it, of course I still didn’t believe that her emotional “madness” was the same as mine. Finally, I set the pencil down. “I think that’s it.”
“You forgot the biggest one,” Sam said quietly.
“What’s that?” I asked, looking up in surprise, I thought we had them all.
“You forgot to write down the dreams,” Sam said in the same quiet voice.
“What dreams?” I asked, suddenly starting to feel panicked.
“The dreams we have about the guys?”
“How do you know about that?” I asked, standing up abruptly, suddenly very angry. The notebook slid off my lap and landed on the floor at my feet. I gave it no notice, as I felt the emotional wave approaching.
“I think you should leave,” I told Sam, trying to fight down the nausea. I didn’t know what kind of game Sam was playing, but I wanted no part of it. The anger began to engulf me; I knew I was on the verge of getting sick.
I rushed into my bathroom and threw-up immediately. It had been a long time since my emotions had made me sick enough to throw up. The retching finally ended as the waves receded. I rested my forehead weakly against the cool porcelain on the side of the tub.
I felt a cool cloth being placed on the nap of my sweaty neck. I wasn’t surprised that Sam had stuck around. Though I tried to convince myself that she was playing some kind of game, I knew we had far too much in common to be just a coincidence. I didn’t know what was going on, but I did know, it wasn’t Sam’s fault.
Sam handed me a glass of water. I looked up to see her studying me.
“I’ll teach you how to fight the sickness back,” she promised.
I just nodded my head weakly, not surprised that Sam somehow knew how to fight it off; she seemed so much stronger than me. She helped pull me into a standing position. My legs felt like cooked spaghetti, but I thought I could make it to one of the chairs. Sam took my arm and helped me settle into the chair.
“I know about your dreams because I have the same ones,” Sam said, with tears in her eyes. “I didn’t mean to make you sick.”
“How did you know that I had the dreams?”
“I didn’t know when I first met you. I suspected it after I saw your reaction in class today, but I knew for sure after I read the note.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, more confused than ever. “What happened in class for you to suspect it, and why did the note convince you?”
“Because, I’ve been in your shoes before, I have the same dreams as you, and I felt the same way when I met the boy that had shared my dreams my entire life. Through all my crummy foster homes, he was always there for me, and when I met him it was like I had been hit by lighting.”
“You’ve met your dream guy?” I asked surprised, not because she had dreams like mine (which was crazy), but because she made it seem like our dream guys were flesh and blood.
“You’ve met yours too. Surely you knew as soon as you saw him today, that he was the one?”
I shook my head in denial. “I’ve never seen his face though, how can you be so sure it’s Mark?”
“Have you ever reacted like that with anyone else?” she asked, incredulous.
“Well no, but how do I know it’s not just a normal reaction? He is attractive. You saw how all the other girls were ogling him,” I said, trying to take just an ounce of crazy out of this situation.
Sam sighed, “Krista, come on, do you really believe that? If I’m right, that’s what Mark meant in his note. He can explain. He already knows who you are. That’s what I think, and he knows it. Think about what he wrote in the note. He’s your dream guy.”
Dream guy. I rolled the words around in my head. I had always hoped the dreams meant something, that I would someday meet the guy of my dreams. Could all of this be real? I shook my head. I just couldn’t believe it. We weren’t some characters in some B-rated Sci-Fi movie.
“Are you feeling better?” Sam asked, interrupting my thoughts.
“Yes.”
“I’m going to call my foster dad to come get me so you can rest,” Sam said. “I really am sorry, I know how badly you’re feeling. I just didn’t know how to bring it up. I know it’s freaky, but I am glad that I’m not alone.”
“It all just seems so strange, that all of us would meet on the same day,” I mused, almost to myself.
“It is strange, but to add more craziness to this whole mixture, when I woke this morning, I had the strangest feeling that something was going to happen today.”
“What do you mean you felt something?”
“I don’t know, I just felt an odd sense of anticipation I guess, like a premonition or something,” Sam said as she dialed her foster dad’s number. She rattled off the directions to my house for him and then hung up. “He’ll be here in fifteen minutes,” she said, perching on the on the edge of the other chair to wait.
While we waited, we discussed our common bond a little bit more, but didn’t mention “dream guys” again. My emotions were a wreck and I needed time to allow them to recover.
Our conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door.
I was feeling a little better, so I walked Sam downstairs.
I opened the door to a distinguished looking gentleman. He was of medium height, but seemed taller by the well cut suit he was wearing. With just a few gray streaks through his hair, I would guess him to be about my mom’s age.
“Hi. I’m Tom Harrison. You must be Krista. My wife Karen and I were thrilled when Sam asked if she could come over to your house today. We’ve been concerned that Sam hasn’t made any friends since she moved in with us.”
I heard Sam groan, obviously wishing he wouldn’t have added that last part, the pained look on her face made that clear. I smiled; I could relate.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay,” Sam said, giving me a quick hug.
I locked the front doors behind them and headed up to take a quick shower before bed. I paused by a table at the foot of the stairs to scrawl a quick note to my mom.
Mom had a great day at school. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow morning. Love Ya.
I knew I was taking the chicken’s way out, but I wasn’t ready to face my mom. I had already decided that I was going to keep her in the dark as much as I could. I was sick of being the constant source of worry for her. It was time for her to have the freedom to focus her energy on things that mattered to her, instead of always having to worry about my problems.
It dawned on me as I headed upstairs that I didn’t even ask Sam about the guy that was supposedly her dream guy. I hope he wasn’t some freak that had preyed on some young girl who might have confided in her dreams, too. I felt a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if Sam’s theory was wrong? I felt a wave of grief approach at the thought that Mark was just a regular person. I didn’t want to admit it to Sam, but a small kernel of hope had awakened in my heart that Mark might somehow be the person I had been dreaming about for years.
With a million thoughts swirling through my head, I twisted the shower nozzle all the way to hot. The hot water helped to ease away the chills that always followed an attack. Once my shower was over, I blow dried my hair and put on warm comfy pajamas before I headed to my room.
I took a few moments to give Feline the attention he craved. After petting him for a few minutes, he settled down on the bed beside me. I reached over and flipped off the lights. The emotional upheaval of the day had left me exhausted and I fell into a quick slumber.
I knew I was dreaming. It was the same as always. I walked to the edge of the tide line where we always met. He was already there waiting in the shadows, but as I approached; he stepped out of the shadows for the first time. My breath escaped me. How had I missed it? Of course I knew him. Hadn’t he visited me every night? Wasn’t it his hand that I had held thousands of times in my dreams? Even though I had been expecting it, I was unprepared for the emotions that assaulted me when our eyes met. All I could think was, IT’S HIM.
Chapter 4
I woke to my own sobbing. I stuffed a hand over my mouth so my mom wouldn’t hear. I didn’t know how much longer I could take this heartbreak. The dreams, that for so long were my only source of comfort had now become nightmares.
I sat up pulling my knees tightly against my chest, rocking back and forth. My swollen eyes were sensitive to the touch as I wiped away the warm tears.
Feline jumped up beside me on the bed. He could always tell when I needed comfort. His soft fur and the mild vibrations of his purring were soothing.
I glanced at the clock, 4:00 a.m. He had left me earlier than normal. I sat on my bed contemplating how well things had gone, especially since his face was no longer hidden by shadows. We still were unable to talk in the dream but it didn’t matter, somehow we could sense what the other was feeling. The reflection from the moon had danced on the waves, and I had felt his heartbeat against my back as he gently stroked the side of my face. Then suddenly, he was abruptly jerked away, leaving me feeling like my own limbs had been taken with him.
My throat was as dry as the desert from the sobs that had torn through me. I walked as quietly as I could to the bathroom for some water, deciding when I got there that a nice warm shower would be the best way to wash away the chilling side effects of the dream.
I stayed in the shower for a long time, letting the warm water gently massage my aching body. When the warm water started to run out, I twisted the nozzle to turn it off and stepped out of the shower. After drying off, I headed to my room to throw on a sweatshirt and jeans. I still had almost three hours until I needed to get ready for school. The sun was just barely beginning to rise over the horizon.
I walked over to my window so I could watch it rise. I pulled the cord that hung down from my ancient blinds. The blinds made a loud rustling noise as they rolled up. We had discussed replacing the blinds with some cute curtains, but we kept putting it off. I was sick of the ugly blinds, so maybe I would replace them this weekend.