Mended
Page 25
And there it is—he. She said he, not I, like the song is written. What the f**k is going on? She turns slowly, fixing her gaze on me. She swings the mic gently and she sings the song to me.
With each verse, her voice grows stronger and louder and the ache in it more pronounced. Her passion and the love heard within the lyrics of the song infect everyone in the audience, but no one more than me. I want to wrap my arms around her and feel her body against mine, tell her we can fix whatever it is he did. Because I know it’s something he did. This time I will take care of her—I will not set her free. She needs to know this. I have to tell her. And now I know I’ll do whatever I have to to get her back—I’m not going to let her go this time.
When the song ends, the crowd explodes. Whistles, cheers, and yells fill the air as she walks offstage toward me. Before she reaches me, Ninja steps between us. Her demeanor changes as she approaches. “Johnny, Damon said not to let him within five feet of me. But he didn’t say we couldn’t talk. I need to discuss our upcoming shows. I’m sure Damon would never jeopardize the performance.”
I’m actually impressed at the way she turns the charm on and works him. Shit, did she do that to me? No. Now I’m only second-guessing myself. My mind is so f**ked right now.
Ninja nods at her. Is he hot for her? I’m going to kill him right after I kill Damon Wolf. He steps back and I stay where I am. I consider grabbing her and making a run for it, but what good would that do. She’s married to the bastard.
In a low whisper she says, “Leave this alone, Xander. Leave us alone. I wanted to marry him. He makes me happy.”
Fury courses through me. My pulse races and my blood pounds.
“Why are you doing this?” I practically spit out the words, angry, repulsed.
“I’m not doing anything. Just move on. You’ve done it before. You can do it again.”
“Bravo. Bravo,” the bastard’s voice calls from behind me.
I turn around. I want to rip him into a thousand pieces and let him spend his days putting himself back together.
“Since we’re all here now, you’ll save me the time of having to call you tomorrow. Look, Ivy doesn’t need you to manage her—that’s my job,” he says, and his words rock my body with a jealousy I’ve never felt before.
Once I can focus again, I look straight at him and say, “I manage the band and she’s in the band, dickface.”
Ivy moves to stand next to him and he tries to grab her hand. If that happens, I know I’ll lose all control. Thank f**k she pulls her hand away. But she’s still standing beside him.
“Listen. Let’s make this simple. I see it like this. Your whole band is Ivy. Keep your name for now, since there’s less than six weeks left on the tour. But you need to disappear. I’ll give you until after Bristow to arrange it. We don’t need you around causing trouble and chaos. This is our honeymoon after all,” he says, this time wrapping his arm around her waist.
I rip my gaze from him in time to see the tears escaping her eyes, but I can’t feel anything right now but hatred. I fight the urge to tell them both to f**k off. I glare at her as she frees her body of any contact with him. I don’t want to leave, but I have to. I can’t take it. I can’t take his grimy hands on her. I can’t even think about his hands on her. I inch a step toward him, ready to tear his wagging tongue right out of his mouth, but the ninja is up my ass within a nanosecond. Like I didn’t see that coming. I shrug my shoulders and push past them both. I’ve had enough of this. Turning around, I walk toward the door. When I reach it, I punch it hard, wishing it were his face. The pain pulses through me and it feels like such a relief.
CHAPTER 15
Mirrors
Ivy
My ravaged eyes stare back at me in the bathroom mirror of the ridiculously glamorous tour bus. With a built-in coffeemaker, plush sofas, an enormously large shower, and even a vanity in the bathroom—it really is over the top. Damon insists we remain here and not in a hotel even though we’re not traveling for a couple of days. I’m sure he’s afraid I won’t keep my end of the bargain if I spend too much time with the band, too much time with Xander. But what I don’t think he really gets is that it’s my overwhelming love for Xander that pushed me to make this decision—my primal instinct to protect him from getting hurt, not my need for money.
Holding the can of spray near my hair, I suddenly feel faint. The memory of his piercing dark eyes fades in and out and I know I should sit down and put my head between my knees. But I don’t want to appear weak. I take a deep breath, spray my hair, and let the breath go. I wish I were stronger than I am—to stand up to Damon, but I can’t. Instead I close my eyes, hating myself. Hating myself for knowing him, for marrying him, for hurting the only man who understands me . . . who loves me for me.
Grinning, maybe gloating, Damon watches me put my red lipstick on. “Let’s go,” he says, snapping his fingers. “You’re going to be late and I flew her all the way here just to interview you so we could put some hype behind these performances. Next week you’ll meet with Mara and I’ll make sure it’s a double blast—Sound Music and Sound Entertainment together will really garner some attention.”
I open my eyes and finish putting my makeup on, ignoring how his gaze rolls down my body. First down the front through my reflection in the mirror and then down my backside. He insisted I wear what he picked out—a push-up bra, a low-cut white cowl neck blouse that just skims the top of my br**sts, tight skinny jeans, red high-heeled sandals, and a huge matching flower in my hair. He wants to take publicity photos later, but I can’t help but feel like he’s getting off on playing dress-up and it revolts me. It reminds me of how my mother insisted on dressing me whenever I went on auditions. I like to wear sexy outfits, but only because I want to, not because someone else wants me to.
“Please don’t stare.” My voice pulses with hatred.
“Angel, I’ve always enjoyed the way you look. That will never change. You’re a beauty. But I’d like it if you’d watch the way you speak to me. I’ve treated you with respect and I’d like the same. In fact, I think I’ve been very understanding. I’ve let you have your own room and although I am your husband, I haven’t insisted that I share your bed, not even on our wedding night. I’m hoping our business transaction helps us find our way back to each other, but if it doesn’t in six months, you’ll be free of me.”
I’m saved from having to reply when his phone rings. “I’ll take this in the lounge. You have five minutes. And, Angel, you look exquisite.” He smiles before leaving, closing the bathroom door behind him.
I close my eyes again. He was never like this when we were together, was he? God, if he was, how did I never see it? And what must Xander think? He threw me yesterday. I thought I knew what to expect from him when he found out I’d married Damon. He’s an all-or-nothing, black-or-white kind of guy. I thought he’d walk away hating me, but he didn’t. Instead he searched me, for answers, for love, maybe even for hope. I didn’t expect that and he just broke my heart all over again—this time in a different way. He asked questions I hadn’t anticipated and the words stumbled out of my mouth, but not the right ones, not the ones that mattered—not the truth. That I couldn’t tell him. He has to leave me alone and I have to be the one to push him away. I can be strong for him—this I know without a doubt. He did it for me twelve years ago—I can do it for him now.
The pitch of Damon’s voice rising tears me out of my thoughts. “Angel. We have to go. Now!” he snaps. I put on my facade and walk out of the bathroom.
• • •
White linen tablecloths embroidered with gold threads dress the dining room of the downtown Marriott Hotel. Soft lighting sets the tone for intimate conversations and the distance between the tables lends itself to privacy. We’re escorted to a secluded table in the corner and served coffee right away. Sipping his coffee, Damon is explaining to me how to answer the interview questions in order to fast-track my career. That’s the bottom line; he needs money and for some reason he sees me as his golden ticket—although he didn’t quite put it that blatantly. He finessed the words—but I think it’s more. I wish Xander and I would have kept our reunion between ourselves, but we didn’t, so I’m doing what I have to to protect him.
Damon keeps talking and I easily distract myself from the monotony of our conversation by staring at the magnificence of the high ceiling. Its beautiful tinwork catches my eye and the molding is truly a work of art.
“Ivy, are you listening?” he asks.
“Yes,” I answer. “You want to get a single out right away to help launch me back on top of the charts.”
He pushes his cup away. “I’m hoping to have one of the songs selected by the end of the week. That should make you happy.”
I nod. I just let him go on thinking that I’m fine with our bargain—that trading Xander’s career for money is my motivation. My mother called him even after I sent her what she asked for. I guess it wasn’t enough, because she told him I was suffering from financial difficulty. From that conversation he got the perverse idea that I’m getting something out of our arrangement. As if the money ever mattered to me. I guess he really never knew me—all I wanted was to earn enough to help my sisters finish college.
A beautiful petite woman approaches us. She pulls her wavy blond hair back and fastens it with a clip she fishes out of her purse. Greeting us, she extends her hand and I scan her outfit. She’s wearing a pale gray suit, all buttoned up with a hint of black lace peeking from above the lapel of her jacket. Her high-heeled pumps scream “I’m a corporate bitch.” Right away I know she must be one of Damon’s “Yes, sir, whatever you say, sir” lackeys and I try not to roll my eyes.
“Ivy, this is Aerie Daniels. She manages Sound Music Magazine for me.”
“Aerie Daniels?” I question. “You’re the niece of Ian Daniels, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” She smiles. “I’m also a music journalist.”
“Oh, yes, of course. It’s just I’ve been following the movie reports on the progress of the planning of the No Led Zeppelin film. And I can’t wait for it to start filming and then for its release.”
“Ivy, Ms. Daniels is here to interview you, not the other way around.”
“Of course. I’m so sorry, Ms. Daniels.”
“Ivy, it’s fine,” she replies.
Damon’s phone rings. “Excuse me one moment, ladies.” He scoots his chair back quickly, nearly knocking it into the waiter. “Yes,” he answers, then pauses for a few seconds. “I’ll call you right back.” He hangs up. “Ladies, I have to return this call, but please carry on without me. Hopefully it won’t take very long. Johnny is right over at the next table if you need him.”
Damon bends to kiss my cheek and I feel the tip of his tongue on my skin. His mouth actually repulses me, but he doesn’t notice as he quickly leaves the restaurant. I absentmindedly wipe my face with my napkin and catch Aerie staring. The look on her face tells me she knows what I’m doing. Women pick up on stuff like that. I should have been more careful. But I watch her face as she stares at the doorway where Damon breezed out moments ago. The crease in her brows and the pucker of her lips tell me I might be wrong about her. The look on her face seems to perfectly match mine. It’s a look of distaste and disdain. Maybe she isn’t the savagely ambitious “Yes, sir” journalist I thought she was.
In the next moment it’s like a switch is flicked and she yanks her laptop from her oversized bag and turns it on. A grin dances across her face.
“What?” I ask.
“I’m just proud of myself. I wasn’t wrong,” she answers.
“What do you mean?”
She moves the bud vase and two votive candles from the center of the table and then turns her computer around so I can see what she’s looking at. It’s the picture of Xander and me in Niagara Falls and it’s flashing across a gossip magazine Web site. The caption reads, “Ivy Taylor moves on to a new love.” A huge smile that I can’t contain crosses my face as I remember my body snug against his muscles, his face so close to my ear that I could feel his warm breath, and the way his arm curved around my shoulder protectively when the woman jumped out in front of us and snapped the picture.
Aerie turns the screen back around and says, “I told Jagger I knew there was more to this picture. But he laughed it off.”
“Who’s Jagger?”
“Oh, sorry. Jagger is Xander’s cousin and my boyfriend. He’s also the lead in the movie about my uncle.” She has a sparkle in her eye that softens her demeanor when she says his name.
“You know Xander, then?” I ask, surprised.
She laughs. “Yes. Not well, but I know him. Not only am I dating his cousin, but his brother is married to my best friend.”
The waiter approaches. “Can I start you both with a drink?”
Aerie glances at me and I nod. “Absolutely.”
We both order a glass of wine and my comfort level continues to increase as she fills me in on her friendship with Dahlia Wilde. I ask how she’s doing during what must have been a hard time for all of them. I wish I could have been there for Xander. I also ask her questions about her boyfriend and the movie.
The waiter brings a basket of Brie with crackers and two goblets of Chablis.
“So am I wrong about the picture?” she asks.
With each verse, her voice grows stronger and louder and the ache in it more pronounced. Her passion and the love heard within the lyrics of the song infect everyone in the audience, but no one more than me. I want to wrap my arms around her and feel her body against mine, tell her we can fix whatever it is he did. Because I know it’s something he did. This time I will take care of her—I will not set her free. She needs to know this. I have to tell her. And now I know I’ll do whatever I have to to get her back—I’m not going to let her go this time.
When the song ends, the crowd explodes. Whistles, cheers, and yells fill the air as she walks offstage toward me. Before she reaches me, Ninja steps between us. Her demeanor changes as she approaches. “Johnny, Damon said not to let him within five feet of me. But he didn’t say we couldn’t talk. I need to discuss our upcoming shows. I’m sure Damon would never jeopardize the performance.”
I’m actually impressed at the way she turns the charm on and works him. Shit, did she do that to me? No. Now I’m only second-guessing myself. My mind is so f**ked right now.
Ninja nods at her. Is he hot for her? I’m going to kill him right after I kill Damon Wolf. He steps back and I stay where I am. I consider grabbing her and making a run for it, but what good would that do. She’s married to the bastard.
In a low whisper she says, “Leave this alone, Xander. Leave us alone. I wanted to marry him. He makes me happy.”
Fury courses through me. My pulse races and my blood pounds.
“Why are you doing this?” I practically spit out the words, angry, repulsed.
“I’m not doing anything. Just move on. You’ve done it before. You can do it again.”
“Bravo. Bravo,” the bastard’s voice calls from behind me.
I turn around. I want to rip him into a thousand pieces and let him spend his days putting himself back together.
“Since we’re all here now, you’ll save me the time of having to call you tomorrow. Look, Ivy doesn’t need you to manage her—that’s my job,” he says, and his words rock my body with a jealousy I’ve never felt before.
Once I can focus again, I look straight at him and say, “I manage the band and she’s in the band, dickface.”
Ivy moves to stand next to him and he tries to grab her hand. If that happens, I know I’ll lose all control. Thank f**k she pulls her hand away. But she’s still standing beside him.
“Listen. Let’s make this simple. I see it like this. Your whole band is Ivy. Keep your name for now, since there’s less than six weeks left on the tour. But you need to disappear. I’ll give you until after Bristow to arrange it. We don’t need you around causing trouble and chaos. This is our honeymoon after all,” he says, this time wrapping his arm around her waist.
I rip my gaze from him in time to see the tears escaping her eyes, but I can’t feel anything right now but hatred. I fight the urge to tell them both to f**k off. I glare at her as she frees her body of any contact with him. I don’t want to leave, but I have to. I can’t take it. I can’t take his grimy hands on her. I can’t even think about his hands on her. I inch a step toward him, ready to tear his wagging tongue right out of his mouth, but the ninja is up my ass within a nanosecond. Like I didn’t see that coming. I shrug my shoulders and push past them both. I’ve had enough of this. Turning around, I walk toward the door. When I reach it, I punch it hard, wishing it were his face. The pain pulses through me and it feels like such a relief.
CHAPTER 15
Mirrors
Ivy
My ravaged eyes stare back at me in the bathroom mirror of the ridiculously glamorous tour bus. With a built-in coffeemaker, plush sofas, an enormously large shower, and even a vanity in the bathroom—it really is over the top. Damon insists we remain here and not in a hotel even though we’re not traveling for a couple of days. I’m sure he’s afraid I won’t keep my end of the bargain if I spend too much time with the band, too much time with Xander. But what I don’t think he really gets is that it’s my overwhelming love for Xander that pushed me to make this decision—my primal instinct to protect him from getting hurt, not my need for money.
Holding the can of spray near my hair, I suddenly feel faint. The memory of his piercing dark eyes fades in and out and I know I should sit down and put my head between my knees. But I don’t want to appear weak. I take a deep breath, spray my hair, and let the breath go. I wish I were stronger than I am—to stand up to Damon, but I can’t. Instead I close my eyes, hating myself. Hating myself for knowing him, for marrying him, for hurting the only man who understands me . . . who loves me for me.
Grinning, maybe gloating, Damon watches me put my red lipstick on. “Let’s go,” he says, snapping his fingers. “You’re going to be late and I flew her all the way here just to interview you so we could put some hype behind these performances. Next week you’ll meet with Mara and I’ll make sure it’s a double blast—Sound Music and Sound Entertainment together will really garner some attention.”
I open my eyes and finish putting my makeup on, ignoring how his gaze rolls down my body. First down the front through my reflection in the mirror and then down my backside. He insisted I wear what he picked out—a push-up bra, a low-cut white cowl neck blouse that just skims the top of my br**sts, tight skinny jeans, red high-heeled sandals, and a huge matching flower in my hair. He wants to take publicity photos later, but I can’t help but feel like he’s getting off on playing dress-up and it revolts me. It reminds me of how my mother insisted on dressing me whenever I went on auditions. I like to wear sexy outfits, but only because I want to, not because someone else wants me to.
“Please don’t stare.” My voice pulses with hatred.
“Angel, I’ve always enjoyed the way you look. That will never change. You’re a beauty. But I’d like it if you’d watch the way you speak to me. I’ve treated you with respect and I’d like the same. In fact, I think I’ve been very understanding. I’ve let you have your own room and although I am your husband, I haven’t insisted that I share your bed, not even on our wedding night. I’m hoping our business transaction helps us find our way back to each other, but if it doesn’t in six months, you’ll be free of me.”
I’m saved from having to reply when his phone rings. “I’ll take this in the lounge. You have five minutes. And, Angel, you look exquisite.” He smiles before leaving, closing the bathroom door behind him.
I close my eyes again. He was never like this when we were together, was he? God, if he was, how did I never see it? And what must Xander think? He threw me yesterday. I thought I knew what to expect from him when he found out I’d married Damon. He’s an all-or-nothing, black-or-white kind of guy. I thought he’d walk away hating me, but he didn’t. Instead he searched me, for answers, for love, maybe even for hope. I didn’t expect that and he just broke my heart all over again—this time in a different way. He asked questions I hadn’t anticipated and the words stumbled out of my mouth, but not the right ones, not the ones that mattered—not the truth. That I couldn’t tell him. He has to leave me alone and I have to be the one to push him away. I can be strong for him—this I know without a doubt. He did it for me twelve years ago—I can do it for him now.
The pitch of Damon’s voice rising tears me out of my thoughts. “Angel. We have to go. Now!” he snaps. I put on my facade and walk out of the bathroom.
• • •
White linen tablecloths embroidered with gold threads dress the dining room of the downtown Marriott Hotel. Soft lighting sets the tone for intimate conversations and the distance between the tables lends itself to privacy. We’re escorted to a secluded table in the corner and served coffee right away. Sipping his coffee, Damon is explaining to me how to answer the interview questions in order to fast-track my career. That’s the bottom line; he needs money and for some reason he sees me as his golden ticket—although he didn’t quite put it that blatantly. He finessed the words—but I think it’s more. I wish Xander and I would have kept our reunion between ourselves, but we didn’t, so I’m doing what I have to to protect him.
Damon keeps talking and I easily distract myself from the monotony of our conversation by staring at the magnificence of the high ceiling. Its beautiful tinwork catches my eye and the molding is truly a work of art.
“Ivy, are you listening?” he asks.
“Yes,” I answer. “You want to get a single out right away to help launch me back on top of the charts.”
He pushes his cup away. “I’m hoping to have one of the songs selected by the end of the week. That should make you happy.”
I nod. I just let him go on thinking that I’m fine with our bargain—that trading Xander’s career for money is my motivation. My mother called him even after I sent her what she asked for. I guess it wasn’t enough, because she told him I was suffering from financial difficulty. From that conversation he got the perverse idea that I’m getting something out of our arrangement. As if the money ever mattered to me. I guess he really never knew me—all I wanted was to earn enough to help my sisters finish college.
A beautiful petite woman approaches us. She pulls her wavy blond hair back and fastens it with a clip she fishes out of her purse. Greeting us, she extends her hand and I scan her outfit. She’s wearing a pale gray suit, all buttoned up with a hint of black lace peeking from above the lapel of her jacket. Her high-heeled pumps scream “I’m a corporate bitch.” Right away I know she must be one of Damon’s “Yes, sir, whatever you say, sir” lackeys and I try not to roll my eyes.
“Ivy, this is Aerie Daniels. She manages Sound Music Magazine for me.”
“Aerie Daniels?” I question. “You’re the niece of Ian Daniels, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” She smiles. “I’m also a music journalist.”
“Oh, yes, of course. It’s just I’ve been following the movie reports on the progress of the planning of the No Led Zeppelin film. And I can’t wait for it to start filming and then for its release.”
“Ivy, Ms. Daniels is here to interview you, not the other way around.”
“Of course. I’m so sorry, Ms. Daniels.”
“Ivy, it’s fine,” she replies.
Damon’s phone rings. “Excuse me one moment, ladies.” He scoots his chair back quickly, nearly knocking it into the waiter. “Yes,” he answers, then pauses for a few seconds. “I’ll call you right back.” He hangs up. “Ladies, I have to return this call, but please carry on without me. Hopefully it won’t take very long. Johnny is right over at the next table if you need him.”
Damon bends to kiss my cheek and I feel the tip of his tongue on my skin. His mouth actually repulses me, but he doesn’t notice as he quickly leaves the restaurant. I absentmindedly wipe my face with my napkin and catch Aerie staring. The look on her face tells me she knows what I’m doing. Women pick up on stuff like that. I should have been more careful. But I watch her face as she stares at the doorway where Damon breezed out moments ago. The crease in her brows and the pucker of her lips tell me I might be wrong about her. The look on her face seems to perfectly match mine. It’s a look of distaste and disdain. Maybe she isn’t the savagely ambitious “Yes, sir” journalist I thought she was.
In the next moment it’s like a switch is flicked and she yanks her laptop from her oversized bag and turns it on. A grin dances across her face.
“What?” I ask.
“I’m just proud of myself. I wasn’t wrong,” she answers.
“What do you mean?”
She moves the bud vase and two votive candles from the center of the table and then turns her computer around so I can see what she’s looking at. It’s the picture of Xander and me in Niagara Falls and it’s flashing across a gossip magazine Web site. The caption reads, “Ivy Taylor moves on to a new love.” A huge smile that I can’t contain crosses my face as I remember my body snug against his muscles, his face so close to my ear that I could feel his warm breath, and the way his arm curved around my shoulder protectively when the woman jumped out in front of us and snapped the picture.
Aerie turns the screen back around and says, “I told Jagger I knew there was more to this picture. But he laughed it off.”
“Who’s Jagger?”
“Oh, sorry. Jagger is Xander’s cousin and my boyfriend. He’s also the lead in the movie about my uncle.” She has a sparkle in her eye that softens her demeanor when she says his name.
“You know Xander, then?” I ask, surprised.
She laughs. “Yes. Not well, but I know him. Not only am I dating his cousin, but his brother is married to my best friend.”
The waiter approaches. “Can I start you both with a drink?”
Aerie glances at me and I nod. “Absolutely.”
We both order a glass of wine and my comfort level continues to increase as she fills me in on her friendship with Dahlia Wilde. I ask how she’s doing during what must have been a hard time for all of them. I wish I could have been there for Xander. I also ask her questions about her boyfriend and the movie.
The waiter brings a basket of Brie with crackers and two goblets of Chablis.
“So am I wrong about the picture?” she asks.
