Messenger of Fear
Page 38
Just that. He didn’t yell it or speak any incantation. And Daniel was there.
Daniel glanced at Oriax and said, “I imagine you’ve done your damage, Oriax.”
“Mmm,” she answered. “Well, I sense that I am not wanted here.” She winked at me and disappeared.
Daniel didn’t seem to need any explanation, and Messenger didn’t offer one. He knelt beside me, in front of Derek, and laid his hand on Derek’s head. This time Derek did not flinch. I don’t believe that Derek felt Daniel’s touch, or that he felt or saw or heard anything at all anymore.
Tears were running freely down my face, and I felt so very sick and so utterly weary. But slowly I became aware that Daniel was looking at me.
“It was awful,” I muttered.
Daniel nodded.
“He is a monster,” I said, pointing a finger at Messenger. “He’s a wicked, sick, sadistic monster.”
Daniel waited to see if I was done, but I had no more words, just tears and sadness.
“Do you imagine that he enjoyed it?” Daniel asked me. “Do you still not understand that what the Messenger of Fear does, he is bound to do? He’s not a monster, he’s a servant. And a penitent. Like you.”
That word penetrated. Penitent.
“This Messenger’s punishment,” Daniel said. “As it is yours. Each horror that he sees is a scar on his soul, a whip on his flesh. As it will be to you when you are the Messenger.”
“Just a kid,” I said, speaking about Derek but, I suppose, about myself, too. And even Messenger.
“Charles, too, was just a kid, and now he lies dead. And in a few weeks Manolo will be dead after hanging himself to escape the misery of his new life. Two dead, because of Derek.”
I didn’t want to argue with Daniel. I didn’t have the strength.
“This isn’t fair, this isn’t justice,” I said. “People do bad things all the time. They get away with bad things all the time. Why this one person? Why did we subject Liam and Emma to the test and risk this? Who knows what fears they may have had? And why Kayla, no matter how bad she may be? What horrors are you going to inflict on her?”
Daniel glanced at Messenger and might have been almost irritated. Maybe that Messenger had not explained these things to me. But then he nodded to himself, accepting it. He said, “Mara, we right the balance. Do we always right the balance? No. So we focus on . . .” He stopped, frowned thoughtfully, and said, “On what do you think we focus? Why are we dealing with these three cases? As you say, there are thousands of awful deeds every day. Why these three?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
“First,” Daniel said, “they are young, and might do terrible things again and again if uncorrected. But I will tell you that had Liam and Emma merely run into a dog, the Messengers would not be involved.”
“So, why?” I asked. I was not in the mood for twenty questions. My heart was a pain in my chest. My mind was unfocused, overwhelmed by the horror I had witnessed. They both waited then, like teachers waiting to see whether a dull student had grasped the lesson.
“Can’t you just tell me? Can’t either of you just explain?” I asked wearily. When they didn’t reply, I groaned and dug deeper. “I don’t . . . Unless it’s that they each knew. That they had already seen what happened when they . . .” I felt my brow crease with concentration, felt as well the excitement of groping toward understanding. “It’s that they knew. They each had a chance to stop. They didn’t blunder into it, they didn’t accidentally do something terrible, they knew. Is that it? Liam and Emma could have saved the dog but didn’t. Derek and Charles had already been sent to detention and counseling. They knew what they were doing was wrong. And Kayla knew as well. She knew Samantha was struggling just to hold on. She knew what she was doing.” I looked pleadingly at them. “Is that it?”
Messenger and Daniel exchanged a significant look. Daniel’s had a nearly but not quite undetectable air of “Told you so” about it.
Messenger said, “The balance of this world is not upset by accident. It is not upset by those who blunder accidentally into wrong. Evil comes when those who know better, who have seen the pain they cause, nevertheless cause more pain. The drunk driver who has already had near misses and knows that sooner or later he will take a life. The thug who has already seen a victim’s blood and goes searching for more. The liar who has already destroyed a life and feels empowered by that ability to destroy. Those are the people who must be confronted. It will become a hunger for them, a need to cause and witness pain. Having done it once and escaped punishment, they will be drawn to it again. Each case had a chance to correct course, to learn and to atone and to move on. When they don’t . . .”
“They may be visited by a Messenger,” Daniel concluded. Then, lesson time clearly over, he turned his attention back to Derek. “Some learn. Some are destroyed.”
“You burned him alive,” I said. “Do you think anything that you’re saying justifies that?”
Daniel showed no reaction. But Messenger’s pale face colored and he looked away.
“I will take him to the Shoals,” Daniel said. “His mind is gone. The fear has broken him. But the day may come when he will find some peace.”
Messenger nodded, stiff, avoiding my accusatory gaze.
“She needs rest,” Daniel said, meaning me. “No more now, Messenger. And you as well, I think. Don’t keep searching for her. Rest.”
Daniel glanced at Oriax and said, “I imagine you’ve done your damage, Oriax.”
“Mmm,” she answered. “Well, I sense that I am not wanted here.” She winked at me and disappeared.
Daniel didn’t seem to need any explanation, and Messenger didn’t offer one. He knelt beside me, in front of Derek, and laid his hand on Derek’s head. This time Derek did not flinch. I don’t believe that Derek felt Daniel’s touch, or that he felt or saw or heard anything at all anymore.
Tears were running freely down my face, and I felt so very sick and so utterly weary. But slowly I became aware that Daniel was looking at me.
“It was awful,” I muttered.
Daniel nodded.
“He is a monster,” I said, pointing a finger at Messenger. “He’s a wicked, sick, sadistic monster.”
Daniel waited to see if I was done, but I had no more words, just tears and sadness.
“Do you imagine that he enjoyed it?” Daniel asked me. “Do you still not understand that what the Messenger of Fear does, he is bound to do? He’s not a monster, he’s a servant. And a penitent. Like you.”
That word penetrated. Penitent.
“This Messenger’s punishment,” Daniel said. “As it is yours. Each horror that he sees is a scar on his soul, a whip on his flesh. As it will be to you when you are the Messenger.”
“Just a kid,” I said, speaking about Derek but, I suppose, about myself, too. And even Messenger.
“Charles, too, was just a kid, and now he lies dead. And in a few weeks Manolo will be dead after hanging himself to escape the misery of his new life. Two dead, because of Derek.”
I didn’t want to argue with Daniel. I didn’t have the strength.
“This isn’t fair, this isn’t justice,” I said. “People do bad things all the time. They get away with bad things all the time. Why this one person? Why did we subject Liam and Emma to the test and risk this? Who knows what fears they may have had? And why Kayla, no matter how bad she may be? What horrors are you going to inflict on her?”
Daniel glanced at Messenger and might have been almost irritated. Maybe that Messenger had not explained these things to me. But then he nodded to himself, accepting it. He said, “Mara, we right the balance. Do we always right the balance? No. So we focus on . . .” He stopped, frowned thoughtfully, and said, “On what do you think we focus? Why are we dealing with these three cases? As you say, there are thousands of awful deeds every day. Why these three?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
“First,” Daniel said, “they are young, and might do terrible things again and again if uncorrected. But I will tell you that had Liam and Emma merely run into a dog, the Messengers would not be involved.”
“So, why?” I asked. I was not in the mood for twenty questions. My heart was a pain in my chest. My mind was unfocused, overwhelmed by the horror I had witnessed. They both waited then, like teachers waiting to see whether a dull student had grasped the lesson.
“Can’t you just tell me? Can’t either of you just explain?” I asked wearily. When they didn’t reply, I groaned and dug deeper. “I don’t . . . Unless it’s that they each knew. That they had already seen what happened when they . . .” I felt my brow crease with concentration, felt as well the excitement of groping toward understanding. “It’s that they knew. They each had a chance to stop. They didn’t blunder into it, they didn’t accidentally do something terrible, they knew. Is that it? Liam and Emma could have saved the dog but didn’t. Derek and Charles had already been sent to detention and counseling. They knew what they were doing was wrong. And Kayla knew as well. She knew Samantha was struggling just to hold on. She knew what she was doing.” I looked pleadingly at them. “Is that it?”
Messenger and Daniel exchanged a significant look. Daniel’s had a nearly but not quite undetectable air of “Told you so” about it.
Messenger said, “The balance of this world is not upset by accident. It is not upset by those who blunder accidentally into wrong. Evil comes when those who know better, who have seen the pain they cause, nevertheless cause more pain. The drunk driver who has already had near misses and knows that sooner or later he will take a life. The thug who has already seen a victim’s blood and goes searching for more. The liar who has already destroyed a life and feels empowered by that ability to destroy. Those are the people who must be confronted. It will become a hunger for them, a need to cause and witness pain. Having done it once and escaped punishment, they will be drawn to it again. Each case had a chance to correct course, to learn and to atone and to move on. When they don’t . . .”
“They may be visited by a Messenger,” Daniel concluded. Then, lesson time clearly over, he turned his attention back to Derek. “Some learn. Some are destroyed.”
“You burned him alive,” I said. “Do you think anything that you’re saying justifies that?”
Daniel showed no reaction. But Messenger’s pale face colored and he looked away.
“I will take him to the Shoals,” Daniel said. “His mind is gone. The fear has broken him. But the day may come when he will find some peace.”
Messenger nodded, stiff, avoiding my accusatory gaze.
“She needs rest,” Daniel said, meaning me. “No more now, Messenger. And you as well, I think. Don’t keep searching for her. Rest.”
