Midnight Reckoning

Page 45

She had mourned enough. And Lyra found a piece of her that thrilled, just a little, with the knowledge that in this new life of hers, she could count on someone to stand beside her.
Whatever there was to face beyond the smoking ruins of her old life, she would not be facing it alone.
She finally knew what she wanted. And since she did everything the hard way, she’d had to go through hell to figure out that the right thing had been staring her in the face—or brooding in her basement—for weeks. He was the only one who’d ever accepted her just the way she was, who’d supported her dreams without questioning her ability to achieve them. And in return, she’d pushed at him and run from him and pretended that she would have been able to let him go. He’d been endlessly patient. She’d been a fool. But Lyra was going to have all the time in the world to make it up to him. So she would give Jaden the only gift she had, the only one she could give.
To get moving, and begin again. With him.
Jaden awakened to an empty room and the faint sound of laughter. There was something familiar and wonderful about it, and he let himself drift for a moment, listening as he stretched languidly, allowing himself the time to wake up fully.
Then he realized why he recognized the sound.
Lyra.
He was on his feet in an instant, slamming out of the room and rushing into the hallway. It was empty, but the sound of voices was clearer. Lyra was downstairs, engaged in what sounded like animated conversation with Lily. The relief surged through him, threatening to take him to his knees. He’d begun to think the Lyra he’d known was gone, replaced by a shell that would never do more than drift from place to place.
He should have known she’d be stronger than that. But what she’d been through wasn’t something most would ever have to experience, and something even the strongest people would have a hard time dealing with. He had managed to keep his family, after a fashion, once he’d been turned. Losing them had been hard, one of the hardest things in his long life, but he’d known they cared up until the end.
Lyra would get to live with the knowledge of her rejection. But he swore he would be there to help her deal with it, whether she wanted him or not. Her mark meant something to him, even if it was never more than an unfortunate reminder to her. The strange irony was that she wore the mark, but he was the one who felt the bond most deeply.
Jaden rushed down the stairs, taking them two at a time, before leaping the last few and heading into the parlor, which Lily had recently redone to her taste and often spent time in. The sight that greeted him as he hit the doorway stopped him in his tracks.
Lily and Lyra both turned to look at him, but all he could see was his woman. Lyra reclined comfortably on a leather couch, her legs loosely crossed. She wore the jeans she’d arrived in, long since cleaned, and a light-colored button-down shirt he didn’t recognize. Her feet were bare; her hair fell in loose coils over her shoulders. Though she still looked a bit too thin, a bit too pale, like she had just recovered from a long illness, the blush of health had returned to her cheeks. The look in her eyes, luminous in the candlelight that Lily often preferred here, was pure pleasure. Her smile, however, was unsure.
“You slept in,” she said.
He shoved his hair back from his face, flustered by his overwhelming desire to rush in, gather her in his arms, and cover her in kisses. Somehow, he doubted she was ready for that.
“I—yeah, I guess I did. Now I wish I hadn’t,” he said, and finally managed to walk in. He looked to Lily, who looked like a cat who’d caught the canary.
“Lyra and I were just discussing some of her options. She thinks she might like to stay on, if I can find her something to do.”
He looked at Lyra, who nodded. “As long as you’ll have me.”
Jaden wasn’t sure whether she meant the Lilim, or him personally. But from the way she shifted nervously and nibbled her lip, he thought—he hoped—it was both. Lily stood, an empty mug in her hand, and Jaden saw she was still in a rumpled pair of oversized pajamas.
“I think you two probably want to talk,” she said. “I’m going to go get some more coffee.” Then she grinned at Lyra. “I’m actually kind of glad that vampirism didn’t kill my coffee addiction. We’ll talk more later, okay? But I’m glad you’re back. And trust me, I’ll be glad to have you here. We all will.”
“Thank you. For everything,” Lyra said, and Jaden could hear the emotion in her voice as Lily glided past him, sliding him a knowing look on her way by. He didn’t miss the fact that she shut the door behind her.
Lyra stood the moment the door was closed, and Jaden took a cautious step toward her. One. Two. But she showed no sign of bolting.
“I have a couple of things I want to say,” she said. “So hear me out, okay?”
He nodded. “All right. But after that, you’re going to let me say my piece too.”
“That’s fair,” she said, though she looked like she might be dreading that part. He wasn’t sure why, but he hoped she would be pleasantly surprised.
“First, I have to thank you,” she said. “You’ve been taking care of me when I couldn’t take care of myself. Nobody’s ever done that for me. Not that I can remember, anyway. I was always supposed to be self-sufficient, and strong, and—”
“You’re all of that,” Jaden said. “What happened to you—”
“Nope, not finished,” she said, holding up her hand. “I didn’t know how to lean on someone. You didn’t give me a choice, and I’m so glad you didn’t, because alone, I don’t know what I would have done. I don’t know how I would be right now. Or if I would be right now. You gave me something to wake up for, and you kept pushing at me to do it. That means more than I can say.”
“You’re welcome,” Jaden said, taking a step closer. Her words were a balm to him, healing wounds he hadn’t even realized were there.
“Second, the fact that I’m bonded to you.”
“It’s not your fault,” Jaden rushed out. He’d done a lot of thinking, and he had no interest in pushing her about it. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t keep trying to win her over, but as far as he was concerned, the bonding thing would not be an issue until she wanted it to be.
Lyra glowered at him. “You’re seriously ruining my planned speech, Jaden. Give it a rest for a minute, will you?”
So happy to hear the snap in her voice, he fell silent.
She took a deep breath, and then plunged ahead. “I want to honor it. And… I know how to seal it. If you want that.”
He stopped, taken completely by surprise. “You… how…”
She dropped her eyes. “The day after everything happened between us, I went digging in the histories the pack keeps. There was something there.” She paused, then recited:
When werewolf’s bite the vampire takes
The wolf will bear the mark that mates
And vampire’s kiss will seal their fate
To bind, stop time,
Both day and night are thine
Eternally entwined.
She raised her eyes again to meet his, and he was arrested by all he saw there.
“I want to be with you,” she said. “If what I read is right, it’s possible. I won’t age, I guess, and you… I’m not sure what will happen to you, except that you’ll be saddled with me.” She gave a short laugh. “The one example of this I know about didn’t really last long enough for them to record all of the pros and cons. So we’re an experiment. I don’t know what I’ve got to give… but whatever there is, it’s yours. If you want it.”
He could barely speak, could barely breathe. She stood, waiting, but he was afraid that if he reached for what he wanted so desperately, she would vanish. Just like everything else he’d ever truly wanted. But when he took another step toward her, closing the distance between them, she remained very real.
“Are you sure?” he asked hoarsely. “It’s fast, Lyra. I don’t want this to be because you feel obligated, or afraid. I want you to be sure. I’ve got time.”
She reached out and took his hands, the warmth of her being flowing through her hands and making him feel sun kissed. He looked for any sign of indecision on her face, but there was none. Only acceptance. And if not love, a promise that there could be, in time.
“I realized a little while ago that even if things had come off just the way I thought I wanted, I wouldn’t have been happy. The thought of you walking away doesn’t work for me, Jaden. I would have gone after you, or tried to keep you around, have it both ways. This was always going to happen. Because I need you more than I need anything else. I would have liked to figure it out in a less earth-shattering way, but… well, that probably wasn’t going to happen, either. I can be kind of hard-headed about some things. You may have noticed.”
It was hard to think, much less speak, when he was finally hearing the words he’d never thought to hear. Not from anyone, but especially not from Lyra. But he couldn’t quite let himself believe that for the first time, he was getting exactly what, and whom, he wanted. Needed.
Loved.
His voice sounded hoarse and strange to his own ears. “But if your father comes for you? What if the pack changes their mind?”
“They won’t,” Lyra said, her eyes hardening. “But even if they did, it wouldn’t change how I feel about this. I put my life on hold for too long thinking I could change the way things were. And they cast me out for something that’s really no one’s business but mine. I’m ready to live my own life, wherever that takes me. Us.”
“And… how do you feel about… us?” he asked softly. There were three words he longed for. He had given them to her. And he hoped, in time, she would return them. When she spoke, they weren’t the three words he’d wanted, but they were ones he would certainly accept in their stead for now.
If she was serious, they would have plenty of time.