Mine to Hold

Page 6

Her belly knotted, and her breathing turned shallow. Unless she wanted to fall into his arms and repeat her mistake all over again, she needed to pull away.
She stepped back, forcing nonchalance. “We’ve both moved on.”
Anger tightened Tyler’s face. “I’m not letting Seth out of my life again.”
Her first instinct was to argue. Where the hell had he been for the last two years? But that was unfair; she’d sent him away. And she had to put Seth first. “He’d benefit from a father figure. We can work together on visitation. I don’t need child support.”
Tyler grabbed her arm and dragged her closer. “Stubborn woman. Don’t doubt that we’re going to work this out. Every last detail.”
He meant that, and his adamancy surprised her. “Never took you for the fatherly type.”
“One look at his face changed everything for me, Del.”
She couldn’t argue that. The entire stretch of her pregnancy, she’d felt disassociated from the fact that a child was growing inside her and focused on how this would further affect her job, her body, her life. The moment she set eyes on Seth’s face, he’d become the most important priority, hands down. As far as she’d been concerned, everything else would work itself out.
“Fair enough.”
“When the timing is better, I want to hear about every moment I missed.”
A part of her tried to hate him for wanting to be so involved, as if he’d implied that she wasn’t a good enough parent all by herself. Another part of her was so damn touched that he cared about their child. She swallowed back tears. It had been a long time since she hadn’t felt alone. Allowing herself to feel at all close to Tyler was dangerous for her on so many levels . . . She stepped back.
“Of course.”
Suddenly, Seth, wailing his displeasure, toddled around the corner, dragging his bath towel. Del ran for him, trying to juggle her own towel and get a free hand to pick up her son. Tyler beat her to it, scooping him up against his broad chest and dusting a kiss on his ruddy cheek.
“Let’s get dressed for bed, Spidey.”
Seth patted Tyler’s face and smiled.
Del couldn’t help it; her heart melted. They looked so very much alike. Seeing the affection beginning to bring them together choked her up. She turned away.
“We got this,” Tyler insisted. “Go get yourself ready for bed. And take this with you.”
Reaching into his back pocket, he withdrew a big gray T-shirt that said LOUISIANA CAJUN COUNTRY, with a cartoon of a bearded man riding an alligator next to a tiny rowboat, holding a shotgun.
It was one of the ugliest things she’d ever seen. “To sleep in?
“Sure.” He slanted her a considering glance. “Unless you still sleep naked.”
“My sleeping attire is irrelevant. Thank you.” She plucked the shirt from his grasp, then turned away without another word.
Back in the bathroom, she shut and locked the door, blinking furiously and trying to bring her breathing back under control. But Tyler’s scent, all woodsy and male with something so vital, lingered on the shirt. He was like smelling pure testosterone. And she had no choice but to wear the damn thing. With her bag elsewhere, it was this or the towel.
With a dusting of hand lotion and finger combing her hair, she whipped the shirt over her head—and went weak-kneed. God, his smell enveloped her, was all over her—right under her nose, against her breasts, skimming down her abdomen to her thighs, brushing her pussy as she straightened and opened the bathroom door again. With every step, she felt that shirt against her skin, like he surrounded her.
No way could she sleep in this without going insane. Tyler had been potent the night he’d gotten deep inside her, and she’d reveled in his heady, masculine scent.
It was twenty times worse now because she knew exactly what she was missing.
Shoving the thought aside, she pushed out of the bathroom, made her way to the kitchen—and stopped short.
Tyler sat on a barstool with a beer in one hand, the other wrapped around Seth, now dressed in a fresh diaper and clean pajamas. He’d perched his son on his lap and was reading one of Seth’s favorites books about animals at a barnyard dance. Her baby boy was all smiles and turned to look up at Tyler with wonder, as if he recognized someone important and special.
Tears hit her eyes like a pickax. Damn, what was wrong with her tonight? She’d known that coming here and facing her past would be emotional. She’d had no idea what sort of reaction to expect from Tyler—but this was almost as sweet as her wildest dreams. On top of all the danger, adrenaline, and sleeplessness, Del felt her emotions crashing off a cliff.
Without missing a beat, Tyler finished the book and closed it, then handed Seth to her and hopped off the barstool.
“Give Mommy a hug,” he told the boy.
Seth threw his chubby little arms tightly around her neck and squeezed. Del came apart, clutching her little boy tightly against her as she tried to hold the sobs in.
Her little boy pressed a sloppy little kiss near her mouth before Tyler gently pulled Seth away and wrapped an arm around her waist, bringing her tight against his chest. He felt so solid and alive. His heart beat loud and strong under her ear. More of his forestlike scent surrounded her, and Del realized this was the first time she hadn’t been terrified since . . . that night.
“Let it out, angel. I’m here.”
She sobbed against him once, twice. God, how easy would it be to lean on him. And how unfair.
Stepping back with a shake of her head, she swiped away the scalding tears. “No. My problems. My cross to bear. I’d just be grateful if you’d take care of Seth for me. I’d die if anything happened to him.”
“He’s going to be fine. So are you. Deep breath.”
She drew in a shuddering breath, then let it out, already feeling better. But she’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss Tyler’s warm embrace.
“Okay, it’s all ready,” a booming voice called from the archway behind her.
Del gasped and spun around, pulling her T-shirt down. She was acutely aware of the fact that, since Tyler had swiped her bag, she’d had no panties and wasn’t wearing any now. The shirt covered her ass and then some, but . . .
Deke strolled in, looking like he was suppressing a grin. “Did I interrupt something?”
“Don’t sound so hopeful, pervert.” Tyler crossed the kitchen to the refrigerator and threw Deke a beer. “Any trouble?”
“Nope. Slick as butter.”
“Thanks, man.”
“No problem.”
What the hell were they talking about?
“Can you give us a second?” Tyler asked his buddy.
“Sure.” Deke twisted the top off his beer with a beefy fist, then tossed the cap in the garbage. “I’ll plop in front of the TV. There’s a basketball game with my name on it.”
“Thanks.”
With that, Deke whipped past them and into the family room. Tyler held Seth in the cradle of one arm, biceps bulging. Del tried not to notice as she swept past him and grabbed her duffel bag off the counter with one hand, holding her T-shirt down with the other.
Tyler suppressed a smile. “Come with me.”
With a sigh, Del followed. A part of her wanted nothing more than to get away from him. But she’d be gone soon enough. If he wanted to talk to her, she owed him that.
Pulling her comb out of the bag, she dragged it through her hair quickly, then stashed it as she followed him out of the room and down the hall. When they arrived at his guest room, she saw a playpen set up in the corner with a colorful blanket and one of Seth’s toys.
The sight stunned her. “You did this?”
“I called Deke. He brought it over and set it up since Caleb isn’t using it now. Kimber and Alyssa both sent over some foods their kids like, along with extra diapers. Kata and Tara are promising to go on a shopping spree tomorrow for Seth, so if he needs more clothes or toys, just make a list.”
“I don’t have any more money with me.”
Tyler’s jaw tightened. “Would you stop trying to do every goddamn thing on your own? He’s my son, too.”
She’d offended him, damn it. Del sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. “Sorry. Habit. What did you want to talk to me about?”
“You’re not going off alone. There’s no way I’m going to let you throw yourself into danger that’s over your head.”
“But—”
“No. You’re what, five feet five, maybe? And a hundred twenty pounds, dripping wet? But you’re going to single-handedly fight off a ruthlessly ambitious ADA trying to have you killed and the gangland assassin trained to do it? Are you listening to yourself?”
“I’m not going to fight them with my bare hands. I’m just going to dig up evidence and write a solid story that will expose Carlson for the creep he is. I need to do it fast. Word on the street is that he’s going to run for district attorney. If he does and wins, it’s not like he’s going to indict himself. We’ve already established that I might be the only person standing in his way. He isn’t going to let this go.”
Tyler kissed Seth’s head, then held the boy out for her to do the same. Del scooped him up and inhaled his familiar soapy, boyish smell, wondering if this would be the last time she held him. Her heart tripped, stopped—then started breaking at the thought.
Before she could change her mind, she maneuvered to the far side of the playpen and set Seth inside. Already, he rubbed his eyes. When he saw one of his favorite plush toys, shaped like a tow truck with a smiley face, he grabbed it, tucked it against his body, and closed his eyes with a sigh.
“We can’t talk in here without keeping him awake,” she whispered.
With a glance at Seth, Tyler nodded and held out his hand to her. Del glanced at her duffel. She really should wear underwear to any conversation she was going to have with Tyler. Then again, if he truly wanted her out of them, she’d already be naked and flat on her back in the middle of his bed. He was that good.
But now, he was merely speaking to her as a concerned friend, the mother of his son. That look he’d given her earlier . . . well, she’d cut him off. Since then, he’d respected her boundary. Mostly.
Silently, he led her down the hall, around the corner, and into his bedroom. He shut the door, and she stiffened.
“If Seth starts crying, I can’t hear him.”
“Then make this fast and agree that you can’t fight this battle alone. I won’t let you do it, Delaney.”
“Don’t make this harder than it already is. It’s not like I’m looking forward to leaving Seth, much less with a father he barely knows. But he and I have no future if I don’t go.”
Tyler advanced on her, growling with anger. “You may well wind up dead if you try to play the hero all by yourself. Like I asked before, what the fuck do you know about taking down a corrupt public official and evading a street killer?”
Delaney swallowed. God, he was big. She’d forgotten just how tall and solid and male he was. “I’m not going to run into the city with flashing lights and announce my presence with a bullhorn or try to single-handedly round up the bad guys with guns blazing. I just need to collect a little more proof, and as long as they don’t know I’m back in town, it shouldn’t be too dangerous. In the last week, I’ve learned how to lay low, disguise myself. Maybe I’ll hire a PI in L.A. to help me. I’ll think of something. I’m not stupid.”
Tyler stalked even closer. “Being too brave for the situation is. Goddamn it, I’m angry with you right now.”
“Because I’m leaving you with a kid you don’t know and aren’t prepared for? Forgive me, but I don’t have more appealing options. Even if he’s your son, do you think it was easy to come here and ask for your help?”
As soon as she said the words, she knew she was being unfair. Nothing he’d said or done since she’d arrived indicated he was less than thrilled with having Seth here. But the alternative, admitting that Tyler’s anger was wrapped up in concern for her, was too sweet to bear. A tiny part of her would love to lean on him and let him fix all her problems. She couldn’t do that to him.
“What? I’m happy Seth is here.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just . . . so tired. I haven’t slept in days.” And she was making a bad situation worse. That had to stop. No one liked a bitch.
“Damn straight. I wish to fuck you’d come here about . . . oh, twenty-three months ago. What I’m saying is that, even if you think you’re just fact-finding, it’s potentially dangerous. You’re not equipped for the kind of threat you’re going to be facing. You need to let Deke and Kimber or Luc and Alyssa keep Seth while I go with you to fight these fuckers.”
It was so tempting to give in and have his strong, comforting presence beside her. But she couldn’t accomplish her task if she was worried about Seth. Tyler might be a playboy, but he was also a protector. No way would he let anything happen to their son, and that would give her the reassurance and strength to do what she must.