Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
Page 19
It was like someone had hit “reset” on the whole town. I kept noticing things I’d seen the day before: the same wagon rushing wildly down the path, its back wheel fishtailing in the gravel; the same women lining up outside the well; a man tarring the bottom of a rowboat, no further along in his task than he’d been twenty-four hours ago. I almost expected to see my doppelgänger sprinting across town pursued by a mob, but I guess things didn’t work that way.
“You guys must know a lot about what goes on around here,” I said. “Like yesterday, with the planes and that cart.”
“It’s Millard who knows everything,” said Hugh.
“It’s true,” said Millard. “In fact, I am in the midst of compiling the world’s first complete account of one day in the life of a town, as experienced by everyone in it. Every action, every conversation, every sound made by each of the one hundred fifty-nine human and three hundred thirty-two animal residents of Cairnholm, minute by minute, sunup to sundown.”
“That’s incredible,” I said.
“I can’t help but agree,” he replied. “In just twenty-seven years I’ve already observed half the animals and nearly all the humans.”
My mouth fell open. “Twenty-seven years?”
“He spent three years on pigs alone!” Hugh said. “That’s all day every day for three years taking notes on pigs! Can you imagine? ‘This one dropped a load of arse biscuits!’ ‘That one said oink-oink and then went to sleep in its own filth!’ ”
“Notes are absolutely essential to the process,” Millard explained patiently. “But I can understand your jealousy, Hugh. It promises to be a work unprecedented in the history of academic scholarship.”
“Oh, don’t cock your nose,” Emma said. “It’ll also be unprecedented in the history of dull things. It’ll be the dullest thing ever written!”
Rather than responding, Millard began pointing things out just before they happened. “Mrs. Higgins is about to have a coughing fit,” he’d say, and then a woman in the street would cough and hack until she was red in the face, or “Presently, a fisherman will lament the difficulty of plying his trade during wartime,” and then a man leaning on a cart filled with nets would turn to another man and say, “There’s so many damned U-boats in the water now it ain’t even safe for a bloke to go tickle his own lines!”
I was duly impressed, and told him so. “I’m glad someone appreciates my work,” he replied.
We walked along the bustling harbor until the docks ran out and then followed the rocky shore toward the headlands to a sandy cove. We boys stripped down to our underwear (all except Horace, who would remove only his shoes and tie) while the girls disappeared to change into modest, old-school bathing suits. Then we all swam. Bronwyn and Emma raced each other while the rest of us paddled around; once we’d exhausted ourselves, we climbed onto the sand and napped. When the sun was too hot we fell back into the water, and when the chilly sea made us shiver we crawled out again, and so it went until our shadows began to lengthen across the cove.
We got to talking. They had a million questions for me, and, far away from Miss Peregrine, I could answer them frankly. What was my world like? What did people eat, drink, wear? When would sickness and death be overcome by science? They lived in splendor but were starving for new faces and new stories. I told them whatever I could, racking my brain for nuggets of twentieth-century history from Mrs. Johnston’s class—the moon landing! the Berlin Wall! Vietnam!—but they were hardly comprehensive.
It was my time’s technology and standard of living that amazed them most. Our houses were air-conditioned. They’d heard of televisions but had never seen one and were shocked to learn that my family had a talking-picture box in almost every room. Air travel was as common and affordable to us as train travel was to them. Our army fought with remote-controlled drones. We carried telephone-computers that fit in our pockets, and even though mine didn’t work here (nothing electronic seemed to), I pulled it out just to show them its sleek, mirrored enclosure.
It was edging toward sunset when we finally started back. Emma stuck to me like glue, the back of her hand brushing mine as we walked. Passing an apple tree on the outskirts of town, she stopped to pick one, but even on tiptoes the lowest fruit was out of reach, so I did what any gentleman would do and gave her a boost, wrapping my arms around her waist and trying not to groan as I lifted, her white arm outstretched, wet hair glinting in the sun. When I let her down she gave me a little kiss on the cheek and handed me the apple.
“Here,” she said, “you earned it.”
“The apple or the kiss?”
She laughed and ran off to catch up with the others. I didn’t know what to call it, what was happening between us, but I liked it. It felt silly and fragile and good. I put the apple in my pocket and ran after her.
When we came to the bog and I said I had to go home, she pretended to pout. “At least let me escort you,” she said, so we waved goodbye to the others and crossed over to the cairn, me doing my best to memorize the placement of her feet as we went.
When we got there I said, “Come with me to the other side a minute.”
“I shouldn’t. I’ve got to get back or the Bird will suspect us.”
“Suspect us of what?”
She smiled coyly. “Of … something.”
“Something.”
“She’s always on the lookout for something,” she said, laughing.
I changed tactics. “Then why don’t you come see me tomorrow instead?”
“See you? Over there?”
“Why not? Miss Peregrine won’t be around to watch us. You could even meet my dad. We won’t tell him who you are, obviously. And then maybe he’ll ease up a little about where I’m going and what I’m doing all the time. Me hanging out with a hot girl? That’s like his fondest dad-dream wish.”
I thought she might smile at the hot girl thing, but instead she turned serious. “The Bird only allows us to go over for a few minutes at a time, just to keep the loop open, you know.”
“So tell her that’s what you’re doing!”
She sighed. “I want to. I do. But it’s a bad idea.”
“She’s got you on a pretty short leash.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said with a scowl. “And thanks for comparing me to a dog. That was brilliant.”
I wondered how we’d gone from flirting to fighting so quickly. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“It’s not that I wouldn’t like to,” she said. “I just can’t.”
“Okay, I’ll make you a deal. Forget coming for the whole day. Just come over for a minute, right now.”
“One minute? What can we do in one minute?”
I grinned. “You’d be surprised.”
“Tell me!” she said, pushing me.
“Take your picture.”
Her smile disappeared. “I’m not exactly at my most fetching,” she said doubtfully.
“No, you’re great. Really.”
“Just one minute? Promise?”
I let her go into the cairn first. When we came out again the world was misty and cold, though thankfully the rain had stopped. I pulled out my phone and was happy to see that my theory was right. On this side of the loop, electronic things worked fine.
“Where’s your camera?” she said, shivering. “Let’s get this over with!”
I held up the phone and took her picture. She just shook her head, as if nothing about my bizarre world could surprise her anymore. Then she dodged away, and I had to chase her around the cairn, both of us laughing, Emma ducking out of view only to pop up again and vamp for the camera. A minute later I’d taken so many pictures that my phone had nearly run out of memory.
Emma ran to the mouth of the cairn and blew me an air-kiss. “See you tomorrow, future boy!”
I lifted my hand to wave goodbye, and she ducked into the stone tunnel.
* * *
I skipped back to town freezing and wet and grinning like an idiot. I was still blocks away from the pub when I heard a strange sound rising above the hum of generators—someone calling my name. Following the voice, I found my father standing in the street in a soggy sweater, breath pluming before him like muffler exhaust on a cold morning.
“Jacob! I’ve been looking for you!”
“You said be back by dinner, so here I am!”
“Forget dinner. Come with me.”
My father never skipped dinner. Something was most definitely amiss.
“What’s going on?”
“I’ll explain on the way,” he said, marching me toward the pub. Then he got a good look at me. “You’re all wet!” he exclaimed. “For God’s sake, did you lose your other jacket, too?”
“I, uh …”
“And why is your face red? You look sunburned.”
Crap. A whole afternoon at the beach without sunblock. “I’m all hot from running,” I said, though the skin on my arms was pimpled from cold. “What’s happening? Did someone die, or what?”
“No, no, no,” he said. “Well, sort of. Some sheep.”
“What’s that got to do with us?”
“They think it was kids who did it. Like a vandalism thing.”
“They who? The sheep police?”
“The farmers,” he said. “They’ve interrogated everyone under the age of twenty. Naturally, they’re pretty interested in where you’ve been all day.”
My stomach sank. I didn’t exactly have a watertight cover story, and I raced to think of one as we approached the Priest Hole.
Outside the pub, a small crowd was gathered around a quorum of very pissed-off-looking sheep farmers. One wore muddy coveralls and leaned threateningly on a pitchfork. Another had Worm by the collar. Worm was dressed in neon track pants and a shirt that read I LOVE IT WHEN THEY CALL ME BIG POPPA. He’d been crying, snot bubbling on his upper lip.
A third farmer, rail-thin and wearing a knit cap, pointed at me as we approached. “Here he is!” he called out. “Where you been off to, son?”
Dad patted me on the back. “Tell them,” he said confidently.
I tried to sound like I had nothing to hide. “I was exploring the other side of the island. The big house.”
Knit Cap looked confused. “Which big house?”
“That wonky old heap in the forest,” said Pitchfork. “Only a certified idiot would set foot in there. Place is witched, and a deathtrap to boot.”
Knit Cap squinted at me. “In the big house with who?”
“Nobody,” I said, and saw Dad give me a funny look.
“Bollocks! I think you was with this one,” said the man holding Worm.
“I never killed any sheep!” cried Worm.
“Shaddap!” the man roared.
“Jake?” said my dad. “What about your friends?”
“Ahh, crap, Dad.”
Knit Cap turned and spat. “Why you little liar. I oughta belt you right here in fronta God and everybody.”
“You stay away from him,” my father said, doing his best Stern Dad voice. Knit Cap swore and took a step toward him, and he and my dad squared off. Before either could throw a punch, a familiar voice said, “Hang on, Dennis, we’ll get this sorted,” and Martin stepped out of the crowd to wedge himself between them. “Just start by telling us whatever your boy told you,” he said to my father.
Dad glared at me. “He said he was going to see friends on the other side.”
“What friends?” Pitchfork demanded.
I could see this was only going to get uglier unless I did something drastic. Obviously, I couldn’t tell them about the children—not that they’d believe me anyway—so instead I took a calculated risk.
“It wasn’t anybody,” I said, dropping my eyes in feigned shame. “They’re imaginary.”
“What’d he say?”
“He said his friends were imaginary,” my dad repeated, sounding worried.
The farmers exchanged baffled glances.
“See?” Worm said, a flicker of hope on his face. “Kid’s a bloody psycho! It had to be him!”
“I never touched them,” I said, though no one was really listening.
“It weren’t the American,” said the farmer who had Worm. He gave Worm’s shirt a wrench. “This one here, he’s got a history. Few years back I watched him kick a lamb down a cliffside. Wouldn’t of believed it if I hadn’t seen it wi’ me own eyes. After he done it I asked him why. To see if it could fly, he says. He’s a sickie, all right.”
People muttered in disgust. Worm looked uncomfortable but didn’t dispute the story.
“Where’s his fishmongerin’ mate?” said Pitchfork. “If this one was in on it, you can bet the other one was, too.” Someone said they’d seen Dylan by the harbor, and a posse was dispatched to collect him.
“What about a wolf—or a wild dog?” my dad said. “My father was killed by dogs.”
“Only dogs on Cairnholm are sheepdogs,” replied Knit Cap. “And it ain’t exactly in a sheepdog’s nature to go about killin’ sheep.”
I wished my father would give it up and leave while the leaving was good, but he was on the case like Perry Mason. “Just how many sheep are we talking about?” he asked.
“Five,” replied the fourth farmer, a short, sour-faced man who hadn’t spoken until then. “All mine. Killed right in their pen. Poor devils never even had a chance to run.”
“You guys must know a lot about what goes on around here,” I said. “Like yesterday, with the planes and that cart.”
“It’s Millard who knows everything,” said Hugh.
“It’s true,” said Millard. “In fact, I am in the midst of compiling the world’s first complete account of one day in the life of a town, as experienced by everyone in it. Every action, every conversation, every sound made by each of the one hundred fifty-nine human and three hundred thirty-two animal residents of Cairnholm, minute by minute, sunup to sundown.”
“That’s incredible,” I said.
“I can’t help but agree,” he replied. “In just twenty-seven years I’ve already observed half the animals and nearly all the humans.”
My mouth fell open. “Twenty-seven years?”
“He spent three years on pigs alone!” Hugh said. “That’s all day every day for three years taking notes on pigs! Can you imagine? ‘This one dropped a load of arse biscuits!’ ‘That one said oink-oink and then went to sleep in its own filth!’ ”
“Notes are absolutely essential to the process,” Millard explained patiently. “But I can understand your jealousy, Hugh. It promises to be a work unprecedented in the history of academic scholarship.”
“Oh, don’t cock your nose,” Emma said. “It’ll also be unprecedented in the history of dull things. It’ll be the dullest thing ever written!”
Rather than responding, Millard began pointing things out just before they happened. “Mrs. Higgins is about to have a coughing fit,” he’d say, and then a woman in the street would cough and hack until she was red in the face, or “Presently, a fisherman will lament the difficulty of plying his trade during wartime,” and then a man leaning on a cart filled with nets would turn to another man and say, “There’s so many damned U-boats in the water now it ain’t even safe for a bloke to go tickle his own lines!”
I was duly impressed, and told him so. “I’m glad someone appreciates my work,” he replied.
We walked along the bustling harbor until the docks ran out and then followed the rocky shore toward the headlands to a sandy cove. We boys stripped down to our underwear (all except Horace, who would remove only his shoes and tie) while the girls disappeared to change into modest, old-school bathing suits. Then we all swam. Bronwyn and Emma raced each other while the rest of us paddled around; once we’d exhausted ourselves, we climbed onto the sand and napped. When the sun was too hot we fell back into the water, and when the chilly sea made us shiver we crawled out again, and so it went until our shadows began to lengthen across the cove.
We got to talking. They had a million questions for me, and, far away from Miss Peregrine, I could answer them frankly. What was my world like? What did people eat, drink, wear? When would sickness and death be overcome by science? They lived in splendor but were starving for new faces and new stories. I told them whatever I could, racking my brain for nuggets of twentieth-century history from Mrs. Johnston’s class—the moon landing! the Berlin Wall! Vietnam!—but they were hardly comprehensive.
It was my time’s technology and standard of living that amazed them most. Our houses were air-conditioned. They’d heard of televisions but had never seen one and were shocked to learn that my family had a talking-picture box in almost every room. Air travel was as common and affordable to us as train travel was to them. Our army fought with remote-controlled drones. We carried telephone-computers that fit in our pockets, and even though mine didn’t work here (nothing electronic seemed to), I pulled it out just to show them its sleek, mirrored enclosure.
It was edging toward sunset when we finally started back. Emma stuck to me like glue, the back of her hand brushing mine as we walked. Passing an apple tree on the outskirts of town, she stopped to pick one, but even on tiptoes the lowest fruit was out of reach, so I did what any gentleman would do and gave her a boost, wrapping my arms around her waist and trying not to groan as I lifted, her white arm outstretched, wet hair glinting in the sun. When I let her down she gave me a little kiss on the cheek and handed me the apple.
“Here,” she said, “you earned it.”
“The apple or the kiss?”
She laughed and ran off to catch up with the others. I didn’t know what to call it, what was happening between us, but I liked it. It felt silly and fragile and good. I put the apple in my pocket and ran after her.
When we came to the bog and I said I had to go home, she pretended to pout. “At least let me escort you,” she said, so we waved goodbye to the others and crossed over to the cairn, me doing my best to memorize the placement of her feet as we went.
When we got there I said, “Come with me to the other side a minute.”
“I shouldn’t. I’ve got to get back or the Bird will suspect us.”
“Suspect us of what?”
She smiled coyly. “Of … something.”
“Something.”
“She’s always on the lookout for something,” she said, laughing.
I changed tactics. “Then why don’t you come see me tomorrow instead?”
“See you? Over there?”
“Why not? Miss Peregrine won’t be around to watch us. You could even meet my dad. We won’t tell him who you are, obviously. And then maybe he’ll ease up a little about where I’m going and what I’m doing all the time. Me hanging out with a hot girl? That’s like his fondest dad-dream wish.”
I thought she might smile at the hot girl thing, but instead she turned serious. “The Bird only allows us to go over for a few minutes at a time, just to keep the loop open, you know.”
“So tell her that’s what you’re doing!”
She sighed. “I want to. I do. But it’s a bad idea.”
“She’s got you on a pretty short leash.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said with a scowl. “And thanks for comparing me to a dog. That was brilliant.”
I wondered how we’d gone from flirting to fighting so quickly. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“It’s not that I wouldn’t like to,” she said. “I just can’t.”
“Okay, I’ll make you a deal. Forget coming for the whole day. Just come over for a minute, right now.”
“One minute? What can we do in one minute?”
I grinned. “You’d be surprised.”
“Tell me!” she said, pushing me.
“Take your picture.”
Her smile disappeared. “I’m not exactly at my most fetching,” she said doubtfully.
“No, you’re great. Really.”
“Just one minute? Promise?”
I let her go into the cairn first. When we came out again the world was misty and cold, though thankfully the rain had stopped. I pulled out my phone and was happy to see that my theory was right. On this side of the loop, electronic things worked fine.
“Where’s your camera?” she said, shivering. “Let’s get this over with!”
I held up the phone and took her picture. She just shook her head, as if nothing about my bizarre world could surprise her anymore. Then she dodged away, and I had to chase her around the cairn, both of us laughing, Emma ducking out of view only to pop up again and vamp for the camera. A minute later I’d taken so many pictures that my phone had nearly run out of memory.
Emma ran to the mouth of the cairn and blew me an air-kiss. “See you tomorrow, future boy!”
I lifted my hand to wave goodbye, and she ducked into the stone tunnel.
* * *
I skipped back to town freezing and wet and grinning like an idiot. I was still blocks away from the pub when I heard a strange sound rising above the hum of generators—someone calling my name. Following the voice, I found my father standing in the street in a soggy sweater, breath pluming before him like muffler exhaust on a cold morning.
“Jacob! I’ve been looking for you!”
“You said be back by dinner, so here I am!”
“Forget dinner. Come with me.”
My father never skipped dinner. Something was most definitely amiss.
“What’s going on?”
“I’ll explain on the way,” he said, marching me toward the pub. Then he got a good look at me. “You’re all wet!” he exclaimed. “For God’s sake, did you lose your other jacket, too?”
“I, uh …”
“And why is your face red? You look sunburned.”
Crap. A whole afternoon at the beach without sunblock. “I’m all hot from running,” I said, though the skin on my arms was pimpled from cold. “What’s happening? Did someone die, or what?”
“No, no, no,” he said. “Well, sort of. Some sheep.”
“What’s that got to do with us?”
“They think it was kids who did it. Like a vandalism thing.”
“They who? The sheep police?”
“The farmers,” he said. “They’ve interrogated everyone under the age of twenty. Naturally, they’re pretty interested in where you’ve been all day.”
My stomach sank. I didn’t exactly have a watertight cover story, and I raced to think of one as we approached the Priest Hole.
Outside the pub, a small crowd was gathered around a quorum of very pissed-off-looking sheep farmers. One wore muddy coveralls and leaned threateningly on a pitchfork. Another had Worm by the collar. Worm was dressed in neon track pants and a shirt that read I LOVE IT WHEN THEY CALL ME BIG POPPA. He’d been crying, snot bubbling on his upper lip.
A third farmer, rail-thin and wearing a knit cap, pointed at me as we approached. “Here he is!” he called out. “Where you been off to, son?”
Dad patted me on the back. “Tell them,” he said confidently.
I tried to sound like I had nothing to hide. “I was exploring the other side of the island. The big house.”
Knit Cap looked confused. “Which big house?”
“That wonky old heap in the forest,” said Pitchfork. “Only a certified idiot would set foot in there. Place is witched, and a deathtrap to boot.”
Knit Cap squinted at me. “In the big house with who?”
“Nobody,” I said, and saw Dad give me a funny look.
“Bollocks! I think you was with this one,” said the man holding Worm.
“I never killed any sheep!” cried Worm.
“Shaddap!” the man roared.
“Jake?” said my dad. “What about your friends?”
“Ahh, crap, Dad.”
Knit Cap turned and spat. “Why you little liar. I oughta belt you right here in fronta God and everybody.”
“You stay away from him,” my father said, doing his best Stern Dad voice. Knit Cap swore and took a step toward him, and he and my dad squared off. Before either could throw a punch, a familiar voice said, “Hang on, Dennis, we’ll get this sorted,” and Martin stepped out of the crowd to wedge himself between them. “Just start by telling us whatever your boy told you,” he said to my father.
Dad glared at me. “He said he was going to see friends on the other side.”
“What friends?” Pitchfork demanded.
I could see this was only going to get uglier unless I did something drastic. Obviously, I couldn’t tell them about the children—not that they’d believe me anyway—so instead I took a calculated risk.
“It wasn’t anybody,” I said, dropping my eyes in feigned shame. “They’re imaginary.”
“What’d he say?”
“He said his friends were imaginary,” my dad repeated, sounding worried.
The farmers exchanged baffled glances.
“See?” Worm said, a flicker of hope on his face. “Kid’s a bloody psycho! It had to be him!”
“I never touched them,” I said, though no one was really listening.
“It weren’t the American,” said the farmer who had Worm. He gave Worm’s shirt a wrench. “This one here, he’s got a history. Few years back I watched him kick a lamb down a cliffside. Wouldn’t of believed it if I hadn’t seen it wi’ me own eyes. After he done it I asked him why. To see if it could fly, he says. He’s a sickie, all right.”
People muttered in disgust. Worm looked uncomfortable but didn’t dispute the story.
“Where’s his fishmongerin’ mate?” said Pitchfork. “If this one was in on it, you can bet the other one was, too.” Someone said they’d seen Dylan by the harbor, and a posse was dispatched to collect him.
“What about a wolf—or a wild dog?” my dad said. “My father was killed by dogs.”
“Only dogs on Cairnholm are sheepdogs,” replied Knit Cap. “And it ain’t exactly in a sheepdog’s nature to go about killin’ sheep.”
I wished my father would give it up and leave while the leaving was good, but he was on the case like Perry Mason. “Just how many sheep are we talking about?” he asked.
“Five,” replied the fourth farmer, a short, sour-faced man who hadn’t spoken until then. “All mine. Killed right in their pen. Poor devils never even had a chance to run.”
