Moonlight on Nightingale Way
Page 46
“Perfect. And listen, we should meet up for coffee soon. I’ve heard a lot of great things about you.”
J. B. Carmichael wanted to meet up with me for coffee? “Uh… sure. That would be great.”
“Fantastic. I’ll call you.”
I got off the phone and slumped back in my computer chair.
I got that call because of Logan.
With a sigh I got up and walked into my sitting room, where a pile of Maia’s homework books sat on my coffee table, along with one of five fiction books she was juggling at the moment.
I had Maia in my life because of Logan.
“… I hate that I’ve hurt you. I do. I am sorry.”
The truth was I believed he was sorry.
I sighed and reached for my keys.
Logan MacLeod wasn’t fully responsible for breaking my heart. I’d had a hand in it too.
It was strange being in Fire when it was empty. The low-lit club owned by Joss’s husband had multiple levels, each decorated differently, and each one played a different genre of music. The main club floor was in the middle, where I knew Logan’s office was. When I’d buzzed at the door, the janitor had let me in.
Logan was waiting for me at the edge of the dance floor. He looked surprised but pleased to see me. I glanced over at the janitor and the staff member who was wheeling drinks into the bar. Logan noted my look. “Let’s go into my office.”
I followed him off the dance floor, up a few steps, and along the back wall to where a door was barely visible from the dance floor. He led me inside. There was a huge desk with a computer on it. The desk was covered in papers. Behind the desk were rows of filing cabinets. It was pretty bland, and there were no windows.
Logan needed someone to decorate his office.
“Is everything okay?” he said, bringing me back into the reality of the situation.
I stopped mentally redecorating and took a deep breath, ignoring the raging butterflies in my belly. “I wanted to apologize for the way I reacted last night.”
“Grace, you —”
“No, let me,” I insisted. “You’ve been perfectly clear from the moment we met about who you are. And you were also extremely clear about the fact that Maia comes first. And so she should. I’m glad you’re making her a priority. You’re right – she deserves it. And I get it. I really do. I get it more than most that you feel guilty every day about missing out on being her dad all these years. I understand why you want to focus all your energy on her, and I’m ashamed by how selfish I was last night. We were both in that room, both making that choice. It’s not all on you.”
Relief made him sag against his desk. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
I nodded.
“I still shouldn’t have done what I did.”
“As I said, we both made that mistake.”
His eyes flashed like he was annoyed by my word choice, but he lowered his eyes to the floor, hiding the reaction.
Silence fell between us, awkward and heavy.
“I better go, then,” I said, needing fresh air.
“Friends?” Logan said.
I nodded reluctantly and forced a grin. “Although you might not see as much of me for a while because I just took on a new client. Jocelyn Carmichael called me today. Looks like I’m going to be very busy.”
“Congratulations, Grace. You deserve it.”
“Thanks.”
We looked at each other, not quite knowing how to do this. In the end I gave him a pathetic little wave and turned to leave. I was just pulling the door open when I felt his hand on my shoulder. I stopped and turned to him and was immediately pulled into his arms.
He held me tight, tucking my head against his chest, and I let a moment of weakness overtake me. I sank into his hug, breathing him in.
A lump of tears formed in my throat, and I abruptly slipped out of his embrace and hurried from the office without meeting his eyes.
I took the hot mug of tea from Aidan, feeling exhausted.
My hope was that I was all cried out.
After leaving Logan I’d immediately gone to Aidan, hoping he wasn’t in training. I was in luck. He opened his door and I burst into tears.
Once I was inside he’d managed to get the story out of me through my sobbing. He was the first person to whom I admitted that I’d fallen in love with Logan MacLeod.
Now he sat down on the sofa next to me and gave me a reassuring smile. “It hurts now, Grace, but you’ll get over it. I promise you that.”
I gave him a doubtful look. “It doesn’t feel that way now. How can you be so sure?”
He took a deep, shuddering breath, seeming almost nervous. “Because once, a long time ago, I was in love with you.”
I almost spilled my cup of tea all over myself.
I stared at him in shock, probably doing a fair impression of a codfish.
“How?” I whispered, and then cleared my throat to be heard. “When? How? What?”
Aidan leaned over to pat my knee in comfort. “Years ago. All through university.”
Pain rippled through me when I remembered the drunken night we’d slept together. We were in our third year at university. I’d just been dumped and Aidan had commiserated with me. We’d gotten smashed on cheap wine and ended up having sex. We’d decided to pretend the whole thing hadn’t happened.
“Oh God,” I breathed, just thinking about how he must have felt. Like I felt right now! “I didn’t know,” I begged him to believe me. “I didn’t… I would never have had – I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
J. B. Carmichael wanted to meet up with me for coffee? “Uh… sure. That would be great.”
“Fantastic. I’ll call you.”
I got off the phone and slumped back in my computer chair.
I got that call because of Logan.
With a sigh I got up and walked into my sitting room, where a pile of Maia’s homework books sat on my coffee table, along with one of five fiction books she was juggling at the moment.
I had Maia in my life because of Logan.
“… I hate that I’ve hurt you. I do. I am sorry.”
The truth was I believed he was sorry.
I sighed and reached for my keys.
Logan MacLeod wasn’t fully responsible for breaking my heart. I’d had a hand in it too.
It was strange being in Fire when it was empty. The low-lit club owned by Joss’s husband had multiple levels, each decorated differently, and each one played a different genre of music. The main club floor was in the middle, where I knew Logan’s office was. When I’d buzzed at the door, the janitor had let me in.
Logan was waiting for me at the edge of the dance floor. He looked surprised but pleased to see me. I glanced over at the janitor and the staff member who was wheeling drinks into the bar. Logan noted my look. “Let’s go into my office.”
I followed him off the dance floor, up a few steps, and along the back wall to where a door was barely visible from the dance floor. He led me inside. There was a huge desk with a computer on it. The desk was covered in papers. Behind the desk were rows of filing cabinets. It was pretty bland, and there were no windows.
Logan needed someone to decorate his office.
“Is everything okay?” he said, bringing me back into the reality of the situation.
I stopped mentally redecorating and took a deep breath, ignoring the raging butterflies in my belly. “I wanted to apologize for the way I reacted last night.”
“Grace, you —”
“No, let me,” I insisted. “You’ve been perfectly clear from the moment we met about who you are. And you were also extremely clear about the fact that Maia comes first. And so she should. I’m glad you’re making her a priority. You’re right – she deserves it. And I get it. I really do. I get it more than most that you feel guilty every day about missing out on being her dad all these years. I understand why you want to focus all your energy on her, and I’m ashamed by how selfish I was last night. We were both in that room, both making that choice. It’s not all on you.”
Relief made him sag against his desk. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
I nodded.
“I still shouldn’t have done what I did.”
“As I said, we both made that mistake.”
His eyes flashed like he was annoyed by my word choice, but he lowered his eyes to the floor, hiding the reaction.
Silence fell between us, awkward and heavy.
“I better go, then,” I said, needing fresh air.
“Friends?” Logan said.
I nodded reluctantly and forced a grin. “Although you might not see as much of me for a while because I just took on a new client. Jocelyn Carmichael called me today. Looks like I’m going to be very busy.”
“Congratulations, Grace. You deserve it.”
“Thanks.”
We looked at each other, not quite knowing how to do this. In the end I gave him a pathetic little wave and turned to leave. I was just pulling the door open when I felt his hand on my shoulder. I stopped and turned to him and was immediately pulled into his arms.
He held me tight, tucking my head against his chest, and I let a moment of weakness overtake me. I sank into his hug, breathing him in.
A lump of tears formed in my throat, and I abruptly slipped out of his embrace and hurried from the office without meeting his eyes.
I took the hot mug of tea from Aidan, feeling exhausted.
My hope was that I was all cried out.
After leaving Logan I’d immediately gone to Aidan, hoping he wasn’t in training. I was in luck. He opened his door and I burst into tears.
Once I was inside he’d managed to get the story out of me through my sobbing. He was the first person to whom I admitted that I’d fallen in love with Logan MacLeod.
Now he sat down on the sofa next to me and gave me a reassuring smile. “It hurts now, Grace, but you’ll get over it. I promise you that.”
I gave him a doubtful look. “It doesn’t feel that way now. How can you be so sure?”
He took a deep, shuddering breath, seeming almost nervous. “Because once, a long time ago, I was in love with you.”
I almost spilled my cup of tea all over myself.
I stared at him in shock, probably doing a fair impression of a codfish.
“How?” I whispered, and then cleared my throat to be heard. “When? How? What?”
Aidan leaned over to pat my knee in comfort. “Years ago. All through university.”
Pain rippled through me when I remembered the drunken night we’d slept together. We were in our third year at university. I’d just been dumped and Aidan had commiserated with me. We’d gotten smashed on cheap wine and ended up having sex. We’d decided to pretend the whole thing hadn’t happened.
“Oh God,” I breathed, just thinking about how he must have felt. Like I felt right now! “I didn’t know,” I begged him to believe me. “I didn’t… I would never have had – I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
