More Than Forever
Page 22
"So?" I ask again.
Her eyes narrow. "Why a bus like this though? I mean, why not just get a normal car?"
"I don't know." I shrug. "I figure I'm a few months older than you, so I've got a few months of driving you and your brothers around."
Her eyes widen. "What?" she almost yells. Then tears instantly well in her eyes.
I step closer and make her look up at me, just to be sure that I wasn't imagining it. "Why are you crying? What happened?"
"You can't buy a bus to drive me and my brothers around, Cam. That's just stupid."
"What?" I cross my arms over my chest. "Who says I can't?"
"Me!" She points to herself. "You're fifteen years-old, Cameron. You don't need to do this. You don't need to take care of me, or my brothers. They're not your responsibility!"
"Lucy, I've already bought it, and you need to calm down. It's not like-"
"No, I will not calm down." Great, now she's pissed. "You can't choose a car based on me or my life."
"Why?" I yell. And now I'm pissed.
She takes a deep breath, her fists balled at her sides. "Fine, Cameron," she snaps through clenched teeth. "I'm breaking up with you!"
My heart drops. What? "What?" I say out loud.
She turns in her spot and starts walking away. I chase after her, pulling on her arm to stop her.
She turns to me, her eyes narrowed.
"You can't break up with me, Luce. Come on." My voice breaks. I'm on the edge of crying. I'm a pussy. I admit it. But she's threatening to walk and I can't let it happen. She's my world.
She must realize what she's done because her glare turns to sympathy and her mouth turns to a frown. "I'm sorry," she says, wrapping her arms around my waist and looking up at me. "I didn't mean that."
I hold her head close to my chest, waiting for the beating of my heart to settle.
"Okay," she agrees, "I'll let you buy it on one condition."
I pull back and laugh a little. Fine, I'll entertain her. Raising my eyebrows, I say, "What? What's your condition?"
Getting out of my hold, she walks back to the bus. She sticks her head inside and looks around before turning to me. "The day you get your license..." She takes two steps to cover the distance between us. "You pick me up and take me somewhere secluded, and we make out in the back. For hours."
My eyes go huge and I slowly nod. "That can be arranged."
She smiles. "And I'm talking full on making out, Cameron. I mean, I want you shirtless and horizontal." I try not to look down at my shorts; positive I'm sporting a semi. She continues, "And I want to be shirtless and you better be touching boob."
I choke on air.
She giggles, and then crosses her arms over her breasts. "Deal?"
I think I agree, but I can't be sure, because now all I can think about is boob. I place my hands on her waist and gently push her until she's against the bus.
And then I kiss her.
Her hands go to my hair, tugging a little, and bringing me closer to her.
And we kiss.
When she finally loosens her hold, I pull back.
She kisses me once, and then sighs. "You really bought this bus, huh?"
I nod.
"So that you can help me out with my brothers?"
I nod again. "Of course, Luce, you're my girl. It's my job to take care of you."
Her eyes glaze over with tears again.
I wanted to kick myself for making her cry. But before I can say anything, she wraps her arm around my neck and brings me down for another quick kiss. She pulls away and says, "I really like you, Cameron."
I grin. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," she says dreamily.
And then my heart begins to race.
My palms begin to sweat.
And all I can hear is the blood pumping in my ears.
"Good," I respond, and then inhale a huge breath. "Because I'm kind of in love with you, Lucy."
Her eyes bug out. Her jaw drops to the floor. "What?" she breathes out.
I lift my chin and fake a confidence that doesn't exist. "You heard me."
Silence.
It's the longest three seconds of my life.
Then finally, "Cameron, I love you so much."
And then she kisses me.
Five weeks, three days and eight hours later, I touch boob.
***
"I've been thinking," she says, snapping her bra back on. I've parked the bus near her dock on her lake. It seems fitting—considering it's become our spot.
I crack a few windows in the bus, and then sit back down next to her. She lays her head on my lap and looks up at me. And I can't help but smile. "What have you been thinking?"
She lifts her head to kiss my bare chest and then starts tracing hearts over it. "I think I want to wait. For sex, I mean. I was thinking about what you said, you know... after Penisgate."
I laugh. "Penisgate?"
"Yeah, you know... all scandalous things end in 'gate'."
I suppress my smile. "Yeah."
"Okay, so after Penisgate... I got to thinking... and I think you're right—about being ready... emotionally. I don't think I am yet."
"Okay, so we wait." I shrug.
"If that's okay?"
I roll my eyes. "Of course it's okay, Luce. I'd never make you do something you weren't ready for. You know that."
"I know," she says, kissing my chest again. "The thing is I don't want to promise you a time or date or anything, because I can't tell, and I don't want you—"
"Stop," I cut her off. "You don't need to promise anything. When it happens, it happens." And as the words leave my lips there isn't an ounce of doubt in my mind that I'd wait forever for her.
"What?" She must see that my head’s somewhere else because she asks, "What are you thinking?"
My mind's racing with so many thoughts, so many emotions—that I struggle to find the words. I struggle to speak. "It's dumb."
She reaches up and runs a finger across my jaw. "Tell me anyway."
I lift my knees, causing her head to rise. I kiss her softly, knowing that our lips are raw from making out for so long. "Luce..." I blow out a breath and ignore the ache in my chest. I don't know what it is, or why it's there. "Sometimes I think that this—you and me—this could be as good as it gets for the rest of my life and that would be perfect. I feel like I've loved you for eternity, and it's not even close to long enough. Even now, when it's summer and there's no school and we can spend every second of every day together it doesn't seem like enough. Do you think it's normal? To feel that? To be sixteen and feel like your life begins and ends with one person?"
She shakes her head slowly. "It's not dumb," she says. "And I don't know what's normal. I know that I love you, and I know that I feel sorry for all the people that never get to experience the kind of love we have. Even if it's short lived."
My brows bunch. "You think ours will be short lived?"
Her eyes narrow. "Why a bus like this though? I mean, why not just get a normal car?"
"I don't know." I shrug. "I figure I'm a few months older than you, so I've got a few months of driving you and your brothers around."
Her eyes widen. "What?" she almost yells. Then tears instantly well in her eyes.
I step closer and make her look up at me, just to be sure that I wasn't imagining it. "Why are you crying? What happened?"
"You can't buy a bus to drive me and my brothers around, Cam. That's just stupid."
"What?" I cross my arms over my chest. "Who says I can't?"
"Me!" She points to herself. "You're fifteen years-old, Cameron. You don't need to do this. You don't need to take care of me, or my brothers. They're not your responsibility!"
"Lucy, I've already bought it, and you need to calm down. It's not like-"
"No, I will not calm down." Great, now she's pissed. "You can't choose a car based on me or my life."
"Why?" I yell. And now I'm pissed.
She takes a deep breath, her fists balled at her sides. "Fine, Cameron," she snaps through clenched teeth. "I'm breaking up with you!"
My heart drops. What? "What?" I say out loud.
She turns in her spot and starts walking away. I chase after her, pulling on her arm to stop her.
She turns to me, her eyes narrowed.
"You can't break up with me, Luce. Come on." My voice breaks. I'm on the edge of crying. I'm a pussy. I admit it. But she's threatening to walk and I can't let it happen. She's my world.
She must realize what she's done because her glare turns to sympathy and her mouth turns to a frown. "I'm sorry," she says, wrapping her arms around my waist and looking up at me. "I didn't mean that."
I hold her head close to my chest, waiting for the beating of my heart to settle.
"Okay," she agrees, "I'll let you buy it on one condition."
I pull back and laugh a little. Fine, I'll entertain her. Raising my eyebrows, I say, "What? What's your condition?"
Getting out of my hold, she walks back to the bus. She sticks her head inside and looks around before turning to me. "The day you get your license..." She takes two steps to cover the distance between us. "You pick me up and take me somewhere secluded, and we make out in the back. For hours."
My eyes go huge and I slowly nod. "That can be arranged."
She smiles. "And I'm talking full on making out, Cameron. I mean, I want you shirtless and horizontal." I try not to look down at my shorts; positive I'm sporting a semi. She continues, "And I want to be shirtless and you better be touching boob."
I choke on air.
She giggles, and then crosses her arms over her breasts. "Deal?"
I think I agree, but I can't be sure, because now all I can think about is boob. I place my hands on her waist and gently push her until she's against the bus.
And then I kiss her.
Her hands go to my hair, tugging a little, and bringing me closer to her.
And we kiss.
When she finally loosens her hold, I pull back.
She kisses me once, and then sighs. "You really bought this bus, huh?"
I nod.
"So that you can help me out with my brothers?"
I nod again. "Of course, Luce, you're my girl. It's my job to take care of you."
Her eyes glaze over with tears again.
I wanted to kick myself for making her cry. But before I can say anything, she wraps her arm around my neck and brings me down for another quick kiss. She pulls away and says, "I really like you, Cameron."
I grin. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," she says dreamily.
And then my heart begins to race.
My palms begin to sweat.
And all I can hear is the blood pumping in my ears.
"Good," I respond, and then inhale a huge breath. "Because I'm kind of in love with you, Lucy."
Her eyes bug out. Her jaw drops to the floor. "What?" she breathes out.
I lift my chin and fake a confidence that doesn't exist. "You heard me."
Silence.
It's the longest three seconds of my life.
Then finally, "Cameron, I love you so much."
And then she kisses me.
Five weeks, three days and eight hours later, I touch boob.
***
"I've been thinking," she says, snapping her bra back on. I've parked the bus near her dock on her lake. It seems fitting—considering it's become our spot.
I crack a few windows in the bus, and then sit back down next to her. She lays her head on my lap and looks up at me. And I can't help but smile. "What have you been thinking?"
She lifts her head to kiss my bare chest and then starts tracing hearts over it. "I think I want to wait. For sex, I mean. I was thinking about what you said, you know... after Penisgate."
I laugh. "Penisgate?"
"Yeah, you know... all scandalous things end in 'gate'."
I suppress my smile. "Yeah."
"Okay, so after Penisgate... I got to thinking... and I think you're right—about being ready... emotionally. I don't think I am yet."
"Okay, so we wait." I shrug.
"If that's okay?"
I roll my eyes. "Of course it's okay, Luce. I'd never make you do something you weren't ready for. You know that."
"I know," she says, kissing my chest again. "The thing is I don't want to promise you a time or date or anything, because I can't tell, and I don't want you—"
"Stop," I cut her off. "You don't need to promise anything. When it happens, it happens." And as the words leave my lips there isn't an ounce of doubt in my mind that I'd wait forever for her.
"What?" She must see that my head’s somewhere else because she asks, "What are you thinking?"
My mind's racing with so many thoughts, so many emotions—that I struggle to find the words. I struggle to speak. "It's dumb."
She reaches up and runs a finger across my jaw. "Tell me anyway."
I lift my knees, causing her head to rise. I kiss her softly, knowing that our lips are raw from making out for so long. "Luce..." I blow out a breath and ignore the ache in my chest. I don't know what it is, or why it's there. "Sometimes I think that this—you and me—this could be as good as it gets for the rest of my life and that would be perfect. I feel like I've loved you for eternity, and it's not even close to long enough. Even now, when it's summer and there's no school and we can spend every second of every day together it doesn't seem like enough. Do you think it's normal? To feel that? To be sixteen and feel like your life begins and ends with one person?"
She shakes her head slowly. "It's not dumb," she says. "And I don't know what's normal. I know that I love you, and I know that I feel sorry for all the people that never get to experience the kind of love we have. Even if it's short lived."
My brows bunch. "You think ours will be short lived?"
