More Than Forever
Page 43
She laughs and nods.
"I'll do it right now, Luce," I warn.
She laughs harder. "We gotta be quick, they're all out there waiting. They're gonna know what we're doing."
I carry her to the bed and throw her down, then remove the rest of my clothes.
"I'm sure they already know what we're doing, babe."
She struggles to slip her dress off. I wait impatiently. When she's done, she lies on her back, her legs already spread.
I climb on top of her and enter her with ease. "You're getting loose," I joke.
"Maybe your dick's getting smaller."
We laugh. "We must be wasted," she adds.
"Speak for yourself, I can go all night with this shit."
"Cameron?"
I look down at her face, her eyelids heavy from the alcohol. "Yeah, babe?"
"I know I'm drunk, but thank you for never cheating on me. That Mikayla girl must be a mess. And Jake's good people for taking her in like that. I'm just glad I've never experienced that."
"Um..." I pause mid thrust. "You're welcome?"
"She's cute... Mikayla... if we ever have a threesome with another girl, I'd want her to look like that."
I start thrusting again. "Keep talking shit like that and I won't be able to take care of you, Luce."
Her hands run slowly down my back. "I'm your girl, Cameron. It's your job to take care of me. Always."
-LUCY-
Cam and I make everyone breakfast the next morning, everyone but Jake. He wanted to make sure that Mikayla got home safe.
We sit in the living room and eat, talking shit about the night before. Logan looks around the cabin. We've spent a few nights here the last year, drinking and being stupid. Out of all the things I'm thankful for about Cameron, his friends are one of them. When Claudia left, just after my mom passed away, I struggled with the idea of having no friends. But his friends took me in, made me part of the group. Now, I don't remember a time where they weren't part of my life. Even Logan, who I thought was a dick, has become one of my best friends. "What are you guys going to do when we get to UNC?" he asks.
"What do you mean?" Cam says.
"I mean you won't be rooming together. You guys basically lived with each other the last year or so. What happens there?"
Cam and I glance at each other quickly. We've spoken about it, but try not to think too much. We know we'll miss each other, but we also know that we'll do absolutely everything we can to spend every spare second together. "We'll make it work," Cam says, kissing my temple.
Logan's phone rings, breaking the tension. "Waddup?" he answers. Then his eyebrows bunch. "Yeah, bro. Hang on..." He places his phone on the coffee table and sets it to speakerphone. "Okay," Logan says.
"Umm..." Jake's deep voice comes through the speakers. He sighs heavily into the phone. "It's about Mikayla..."
*
I excuse myself and go to our room. I hear the others say goodbye and then the front door closing. I cover my head under the sheets and continue to cry.
The bed dips, cold air hits my back, and then Cameron's warm arms are around me. "Lucy?" he whispers, his voice hesitant.
I sit up and face him. He leans back against the headboard and pats his lap twice. I climb on him, knowing my face is a mess from all the uncontrolled tears.
"You're hurting?" he asks.
I nod.
"Talk to me."
I try to settle my sobs, my voice coming out strained when I say, "I think I should reach out to her. I think that I should be a friend. Maybe she doesn't have any left after what happened. I don't know. I just feel like I should do something."
My breaths are broken with each inhale. I cry hard and loud into his neck.
"I know, babe," he says. "It's because you care so much. You feel everything so intensely. You hate seeing devastation around people, and you want to be their rock. You've always been like that."
I pull back and look in his eyes as they scan mine.
"Even before your mom died you took care of your family. And when she passed, you took care of your brothers, your dad, everyone but yourself. You wanted to be the glue that held them together, but you're allowed to break, Lucy. If you want to be her friend, I'll support you, but you have to let her break."
I nod and cry again. I can't stop crying. "You're my rock," I tell him. I rub my eyes with the back of my hand. "I don't know how I would have gotten through any of it if you didn't show up every day. If you weren't there..."
"Shhh." He pulls me closer and rubs slow circles on my back, the way he always does when I'm upset. "Don't think about it."
"But I have to!" I lean back again so we're face to face, because we need to have this conversation. "I'm not being petty and insecure, Cameron. This is real life, this isn't a fairy tale where everything ends with a happily ever after. What if we go to college and things change? What if something or someone gets between us? What then?"
"Stop," he says, his eyes glazing. "I hate thinking about this."
"I know, but we need to."
"No we don't, Luce. I love you. You love me. That love's forever. Nothing else matters. I promise."
"You can't promise that. You can't predict the future. You can't tell me that we'll be forever when you don't know."
He lets his head fall back onto the headboard and looks up at the ceiling.
"I'm serious, Cam."
"I know, babe," he sighs, then straightens up and holds my head in his hands. Our eyes lock for the longest time. Like we're taking each other in for the first time, or the last. It could have been seconds. It could have been hours. Then he speaks, "I love you, Lucy. I'll always love you, even if you don't know it. So... even if forever isn't eternal, I promise to love you for our forever."
I try to sniff back my sobs, but it doesn't work. "And what happens if our forever is short? What if something happens?"
He kisses me softly, for so long, that I almost forget why I'm crying. He pulls away, but not enough that his lips leave mine. "Then I will love you, for our forever more."
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
COLLEGE – SOPHOMORE YEAR -CAMERON-
This girl has been looking at me strange since class started. I'd seen her before but we've never spoken. I see her get up from the corner of my eye and start walking toward me. She dresses differently than Lucy, not in a bad way. Just different.
The scraping of the chair next to me has me flinching, but I don't look up.
"Hey," she whispers.
"What's up?" I try to keep my tone even. Not unfriendly, but not friendly either. I don't want her getting the wrong idea.
"You're Cameron, right?"
I nod, my eyes staying fixed on the plan I'm working on.
"I'm Roxy."
"Cool."
She laughs quietly. "It's okay," she says, "I'm not trying to hit on you, if that's the reason you're being an asshole right now."
"I'll do it right now, Luce," I warn.
She laughs harder. "We gotta be quick, they're all out there waiting. They're gonna know what we're doing."
I carry her to the bed and throw her down, then remove the rest of my clothes.
"I'm sure they already know what we're doing, babe."
She struggles to slip her dress off. I wait impatiently. When she's done, she lies on her back, her legs already spread.
I climb on top of her and enter her with ease. "You're getting loose," I joke.
"Maybe your dick's getting smaller."
We laugh. "We must be wasted," she adds.
"Speak for yourself, I can go all night with this shit."
"Cameron?"
I look down at her face, her eyelids heavy from the alcohol. "Yeah, babe?"
"I know I'm drunk, but thank you for never cheating on me. That Mikayla girl must be a mess. And Jake's good people for taking her in like that. I'm just glad I've never experienced that."
"Um..." I pause mid thrust. "You're welcome?"
"She's cute... Mikayla... if we ever have a threesome with another girl, I'd want her to look like that."
I start thrusting again. "Keep talking shit like that and I won't be able to take care of you, Luce."
Her hands run slowly down my back. "I'm your girl, Cameron. It's your job to take care of me. Always."
-LUCY-
Cam and I make everyone breakfast the next morning, everyone but Jake. He wanted to make sure that Mikayla got home safe.
We sit in the living room and eat, talking shit about the night before. Logan looks around the cabin. We've spent a few nights here the last year, drinking and being stupid. Out of all the things I'm thankful for about Cameron, his friends are one of them. When Claudia left, just after my mom passed away, I struggled with the idea of having no friends. But his friends took me in, made me part of the group. Now, I don't remember a time where they weren't part of my life. Even Logan, who I thought was a dick, has become one of my best friends. "What are you guys going to do when we get to UNC?" he asks.
"What do you mean?" Cam says.
"I mean you won't be rooming together. You guys basically lived with each other the last year or so. What happens there?"
Cam and I glance at each other quickly. We've spoken about it, but try not to think too much. We know we'll miss each other, but we also know that we'll do absolutely everything we can to spend every spare second together. "We'll make it work," Cam says, kissing my temple.
Logan's phone rings, breaking the tension. "Waddup?" he answers. Then his eyebrows bunch. "Yeah, bro. Hang on..." He places his phone on the coffee table and sets it to speakerphone. "Okay," Logan says.
"Umm..." Jake's deep voice comes through the speakers. He sighs heavily into the phone. "It's about Mikayla..."
*
I excuse myself and go to our room. I hear the others say goodbye and then the front door closing. I cover my head under the sheets and continue to cry.
The bed dips, cold air hits my back, and then Cameron's warm arms are around me. "Lucy?" he whispers, his voice hesitant.
I sit up and face him. He leans back against the headboard and pats his lap twice. I climb on him, knowing my face is a mess from all the uncontrolled tears.
"You're hurting?" he asks.
I nod.
"Talk to me."
I try to settle my sobs, my voice coming out strained when I say, "I think I should reach out to her. I think that I should be a friend. Maybe she doesn't have any left after what happened. I don't know. I just feel like I should do something."
My breaths are broken with each inhale. I cry hard and loud into his neck.
"I know, babe," he says. "It's because you care so much. You feel everything so intensely. You hate seeing devastation around people, and you want to be their rock. You've always been like that."
I pull back and look in his eyes as they scan mine.
"Even before your mom died you took care of your family. And when she passed, you took care of your brothers, your dad, everyone but yourself. You wanted to be the glue that held them together, but you're allowed to break, Lucy. If you want to be her friend, I'll support you, but you have to let her break."
I nod and cry again. I can't stop crying. "You're my rock," I tell him. I rub my eyes with the back of my hand. "I don't know how I would have gotten through any of it if you didn't show up every day. If you weren't there..."
"Shhh." He pulls me closer and rubs slow circles on my back, the way he always does when I'm upset. "Don't think about it."
"But I have to!" I lean back again so we're face to face, because we need to have this conversation. "I'm not being petty and insecure, Cameron. This is real life, this isn't a fairy tale where everything ends with a happily ever after. What if we go to college and things change? What if something or someone gets between us? What then?"
"Stop," he says, his eyes glazing. "I hate thinking about this."
"I know, but we need to."
"No we don't, Luce. I love you. You love me. That love's forever. Nothing else matters. I promise."
"You can't promise that. You can't predict the future. You can't tell me that we'll be forever when you don't know."
He lets his head fall back onto the headboard and looks up at the ceiling.
"I'm serious, Cam."
"I know, babe," he sighs, then straightens up and holds my head in his hands. Our eyes lock for the longest time. Like we're taking each other in for the first time, or the last. It could have been seconds. It could have been hours. Then he speaks, "I love you, Lucy. I'll always love you, even if you don't know it. So... even if forever isn't eternal, I promise to love you for our forever."
I try to sniff back my sobs, but it doesn't work. "And what happens if our forever is short? What if something happens?"
He kisses me softly, for so long, that I almost forget why I'm crying. He pulls away, but not enough that his lips leave mine. "Then I will love you, for our forever more."
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
COLLEGE – SOPHOMORE YEAR -CAMERON-
This girl has been looking at me strange since class started. I'd seen her before but we've never spoken. I see her get up from the corner of my eye and start walking toward me. She dresses differently than Lucy, not in a bad way. Just different.
The scraping of the chair next to me has me flinching, but I don't look up.
"Hey," she whispers.
"What's up?" I try to keep my tone even. Not unfriendly, but not friendly either. I don't want her getting the wrong idea.
"You're Cameron, right?"
I nod, my eyes staying fixed on the plan I'm working on.
"I'm Roxy."
"Cool."
She laughs quietly. "It's okay," she says, "I'm not trying to hit on you, if that's the reason you're being an asshole right now."
