More Than Her

Page 65

 
 Logan
 
 "She's ready for you." Micky came out a while later, wiping tears from her face. She walked straight into Jake's waiting arms. He hadn't said a word since we got here. Not about Megan anyway.
 I kissed Amanda and walked into the building, palms sweaty, heart racing, blood pumping. I didn't know what to expect when I went in, but she just sat at the table, looking calm and ready.
 "Hey." Her smile was genuine this time. She looked at the nurse, and then to me. "I'm sorry about my outburst earlier. It's a lot for me to take on. I mean, you being here is enough—but Mikayla—it just—it was too much."
 I nodded and took a seat opposite her. "She wanted to be here," I said.
 "Yeah." She blinked tightly a few times. "She told me."
 Then it was silent for a few moments until she finally sighed, "So..."
 "So..." I repeated.
 "Lucky we never slept together."
 I choked on air.
 She laughed.
 Then it was silent again.
 "He talked about you."
 My eyes darted to hers, surprised. "Who?"
 "Our dad," she answered.
 "Not my dad."
 She rolled her eyes. "I get it," she nodded, and then continued, "When I was younger, like really young, maybe up until I was six or something...he used to talk about you."
 I laughed once. I didn't even know what to say. "He wasn't specific or anything, he just said that you existed. I knew your name. That was it. And then he stopped coming around. I wasn't sure why, but he was gone a few years. Anyway, my councilor at my old rehab sad I should try to find you—maybe it might help motivate me to get better." She paused to take a breath.
 I leaned my elbows on the cold metal table and waited. What ever the fuck she was saying, there had to be a point to it all.
 "Anyway, I think it must have been around the same time you got adopted out or something—when he stopped coming around."
 "Maybe," I shrugged.
 "Did he hurt you, Logan?" Her voice was still harsh, but underneath it, was a layer of sympathy.
 "Why?" I asked her. "Did he hurt you?"
 "No." She shook her head. "My mom, though. I saw it a few times. But not me—not when I was a kid at least."
 "What does that mean?"
 "What?"
 "Not when you were a kid. Has he hurt you recently?" My eyebrows drew in.
 Her eyes welled with tears but she looked down to the floor. "He's just not good people, Logan. You need to stay away."
 "No shit. What the fuck did he do to you?" My jaw clenched and my fists tightened. She reached over to cover them but I pulled away. It was too soon for her to be touching or comforting me. I didn't need that shit. And even though I had to feel something for her—I wasn't ready to feel that.
 She sighed, and leant forward. "Micky told me that you know...about my life in LA...she said that word got around and Amanda told you?"
 I nodded.
 "Also, Amanda Marquez?" She said her name like a question.
 "Don't say her name again," I warned.
 "Okay. Touchy asshole. No problem." Her hands went up in surrender. "So our Dad—"
 "Your dad," I cut in.
 "Fine, my dad—he went to LA, apparently to check up on me. But he was more excited to find out that my boyfriend was dealing drugs and that he could score off him. One thing led to another—it started with weed, then ecstasy, meth and then cocaine. It was like the most fucked up form of family reunion possible. For five months straight it was just..." her words trailed off. Then a single tear fell, "And then we had to pay for it all, and I mean—how could we? So my boyfriend decided to pay with me."
 "And your dad let it happen?" I yelled. I couldn't help it. The nurse sat up straighter, "I'm sorry," I told her, and then repeated the question, quieter this time.
 "Like I said, he's not good people."
 My head fell back. I eyed the ceiling wondering how the fuck people get so unbelievably bad.
 "Now they run some sort of drug ring," she continued. "Pauly from LA, Dad from here."
 I shook my head.
 "And me?" she said, her eyes falling to the bruises on her arm. "I have the same nightmare every night. Except it's not a nightmare. It's almost like a dream. It's too good that it hurts when I wake up. I dream every night of them. Of Mikayla's family. I can still hear Emily's laugh. And I shouldn't be allowed to. I shouldn't be able to feel the joy that that one sound can bring. I shouldn't be able to close my eyes and see them. I don't deserve to."
 
 ***
 
 "Watch it, asshole," some dick in front of me said. Valid. I'd just walked out the visiting room doors when and wasn't looking where I was going, I would have run into him if he didn't say anything.
 "Sorry, man."
 "Yeah." He tried to square his shoulders, "You better be."
 I took him in. He had the same lifelessness that Megan had. His hair was thin, almost like it was going to fall off at any time. He had those same fucked up blood spots on his face. You could tell he made an effort to dress up, his suit hung off his body and was sizes too big. He had flowers in his hand that were clearly picked from the bushes just outside. I don't know how old he was. He could've been forty—or he could've been twenty.
 "Chill out," I said calmly, opening the door for him. I watched as he walked in and started for Megan's table. She looked up at him. She didn't flinch. She didn't gasp. Her breathing didn't even hitch. But I saw it in her eyes. She was scared. Scared of monsters.
 
 Logan: I need your help
 Dad: Anything.
 
 ***
 
 "I wonder what fucked up things Dylan and Cam are going to do to your car," Jake said through a laugh. He turned his head to glance at me from the drivers seat.
 "I know. Those assholes. We should do something to D's."
 We were driving back home. Amanda had fallen asleep in the back seat with me, but she was starting to stir.
 "Like what?" Micky asked.
 Amanda sat up. "What are we talking about?" Her voice was scratchy from sleep.
 "Fucking with Dylan's car," I replied.
 She turned her head to face me, her eyes squinting, trying to focus. She bit her lip, looking me up and down.
 "What's with you?" I laughed out.
 She leaned into me and rested her hand on my dick, rubbing it softly. "I'm so fucking horny right now," she whispered.
 My dick twitched.
 She kissed my neck, and then bit my earlobe. "I can't wait to get you home and fuck you."
 I groaned. My dick got harder.
 I pulled her into me and kissed her. Hard.