More Than Want You
Page 51
Actually, I feel as if I’m figuring that out damn fast. “Yeah.”
“I’m only going to admit this once, and if you ever tell anyone, I will deny it until my dying day.” She pauses. I hear her swallow. “I love Griff. I will always love him. I think about your brother every single day. I see him every time I look at our son. I think you know that.”
“I do.”
“So how could you betray me like this? It’s one thing for Griff to troll bars and pick up tourists and bimbos. I can tell myself they don’t matter to him. But Keeley is different. You’re teaching her to be everything Griff could ever want and shoving her in his face. You’re giving him a woman to fixate on. You’re guaranteeing he never looks at me again. I thought we were family and that you would never hurt me.”
Something that feels a lot like shame liquefies my guts. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Maybe, but you didn’t tell me earlier because you knew the truth would cut me deep.”
She’s right, and if I refute her or attempt to soft-shoe this, Britta will know. And she will only distrust me more.
“I’m sorry.”
A stifled sob sounds over the line. I tense against her cry because it almost causes physical pain. “Maybe you are, deep down. But you’re also your father’s son, just like Griff. You’re all selfish bastards to the end.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I swear.” I don’t know what else to say. “I screwed myself up, if it’s any consolation. I’m really into Keeley, and the thought of her with anyone else…”
I can’t finish that sentence.
“How about with your own brother?”
I grip the phone and close my eyes. At her words, I’m both sick and want to commit murder. “She said she wouldn’t sleep with him.”
Unless she wanted to.
“Oh, grow up. You’ve seen your brother in action. He can be very charming… If you don’t want her to become another notch on his bedpost, then stop all this. Do the right thing for once, Maxon. Be the bigger man. Think about the people around you. Care about someone more than yourself.”
She’s right. I know that deep in my heart. There’s just one problem… “I’m not sure I know how to.”
And there goes my voice again, broken and coming from someplace deep in my gut.
“Figure it out because if you do this, if you go ahead with your plan to make her Griff’s latest lover—”
“Don’t say that,” I growl, teeth all but bared.
“Lover. His lover. Keeley would be Griff’s lover,” she spits the words at me. “Call it what it is. Now that you’ve started this ball rolling, you can’t run away from it. You groomed her to warm his bed and you didn’t give a damn who you upset in the process. He hurt you, so you wanted to beat him—and fuck everyone else. But if you continue with this, fair warning, Maxon. I quit.”
I groan aloud with the actual pain twisting my insides up. “Don’t.”
“You’re not leaving me many choices. I’ll never try to stop you from seeing Jamie. You’re his uncle, and he loves you. He was just asking for you this morning.” Her voice is clipped, as if she hates to admit that. “But you and I can’t work together if you’re going to intentionally do things to keep breaking my already broken heart.”
“Rob threatened to quit if I didn’t go through with my plan.”
“Then you have a choice to make. This is all on you.” She sniffles.
Why doesn’t she just take an ax to my chest? It would hurt less.
“You know what’s at stake.” I realize I’m wheedling and quit.
“Money. Your pride.”
“My career. My future.” As much as that’s inconvenient, those are indisputable facts. “I’m incredibly fond of you and I love Jamie, but—”
“Don’t rationalize this!” She finally starts yelling at me. “There will be other big-dollar properties. You will still have a career and a future without the Stowe listing. Your biggest problem is that you can’t stand to let your brother win. You have an insane need to be better than Griff at everything. You know I’m right. And he’s no different. You two are both egotistical, and I’m tired of trying to be the water always flowing around your immovable rock. If you want me to stay, you’re going to have to change direction for once.”
I’m digesting her speech. It’s raw. Starkly honest. She’s stripped me down to the ugliest place in my soul. I’d rather look away, but just like a train wreck, I can’t stop staring.
“Britta…”
“Don’t call me again unless it’s to tell me that you’re not going forward with this stupid scheme. And by the way, I know I need to accept that your brother and I are never getting back together. Makaio asked me to marry him yesterday afternoon. I’m going to say yes.”
Then she’s gone.
I scrub a hand down my face. Holy shit. Britta married to someone other than Griff. I guess it’s time. I mean, they’ve been apart for three years. I shouldn’t be shocked. Somehow, I am. My brother used to be the most protective, possessive boyfriend ever. I can’t imagine that he’ll take seeing Britta wearing another man’s ring well.
Then again, I never imagined he’d let her go at all.
I know I don’t want to, professionally speaking. She knows me well. We work together seamlessly. She fills in the blanks when I’m too busy or disorganized. She’s so knowledgeable. I would be lost around the office without her.
I look at the clock. It’s after ten now. I can’t sit here. I have to pace.
Thirty seconds later, I realize that wearing a path in the floor from one side of the condo to the other isn’t doing me a damn bit of good. I feel so fucking wound up and turned inside out. I need more space. I need air.
What I really need is Keeley.
I wrench open the door to the lanai and step outside. The sultry Hawaiian breeze immediately sweeps across my skin, ruffling my hair. I look out at the inky water shimmering under the golden moon hanging low and lazy. But there’s no peace. I seize the railing in a crushing grip, as if I can funnel everything I’m feeling out of my body through my hands.
Impossible.
Along the beach, I see the rocks where I stripped away Keeley’s reservations and clothes before I took her body. At the moment, I’d give anything to take that night back and start over. Get to know her just for her. Because she’s interesting. Unique. I sigh. Because it feels like she belongs with me. To me.
“I’m only going to admit this once, and if you ever tell anyone, I will deny it until my dying day.” She pauses. I hear her swallow. “I love Griff. I will always love him. I think about your brother every single day. I see him every time I look at our son. I think you know that.”
“I do.”
“So how could you betray me like this? It’s one thing for Griff to troll bars and pick up tourists and bimbos. I can tell myself they don’t matter to him. But Keeley is different. You’re teaching her to be everything Griff could ever want and shoving her in his face. You’re giving him a woman to fixate on. You’re guaranteeing he never looks at me again. I thought we were family and that you would never hurt me.”
Something that feels a lot like shame liquefies my guts. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Maybe, but you didn’t tell me earlier because you knew the truth would cut me deep.”
She’s right, and if I refute her or attempt to soft-shoe this, Britta will know. And she will only distrust me more.
“I’m sorry.”
A stifled sob sounds over the line. I tense against her cry because it almost causes physical pain. “Maybe you are, deep down. But you’re also your father’s son, just like Griff. You’re all selfish bastards to the end.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I swear.” I don’t know what else to say. “I screwed myself up, if it’s any consolation. I’m really into Keeley, and the thought of her with anyone else…”
I can’t finish that sentence.
“How about with your own brother?”
I grip the phone and close my eyes. At her words, I’m both sick and want to commit murder. “She said she wouldn’t sleep with him.”
Unless she wanted to.
“Oh, grow up. You’ve seen your brother in action. He can be very charming… If you don’t want her to become another notch on his bedpost, then stop all this. Do the right thing for once, Maxon. Be the bigger man. Think about the people around you. Care about someone more than yourself.”
She’s right. I know that deep in my heart. There’s just one problem… “I’m not sure I know how to.”
And there goes my voice again, broken and coming from someplace deep in my gut.
“Figure it out because if you do this, if you go ahead with your plan to make her Griff’s latest lover—”
“Don’t say that,” I growl, teeth all but bared.
“Lover. His lover. Keeley would be Griff’s lover,” she spits the words at me. “Call it what it is. Now that you’ve started this ball rolling, you can’t run away from it. You groomed her to warm his bed and you didn’t give a damn who you upset in the process. He hurt you, so you wanted to beat him—and fuck everyone else. But if you continue with this, fair warning, Maxon. I quit.”
I groan aloud with the actual pain twisting my insides up. “Don’t.”
“You’re not leaving me many choices. I’ll never try to stop you from seeing Jamie. You’re his uncle, and he loves you. He was just asking for you this morning.” Her voice is clipped, as if she hates to admit that. “But you and I can’t work together if you’re going to intentionally do things to keep breaking my already broken heart.”
“Rob threatened to quit if I didn’t go through with my plan.”
“Then you have a choice to make. This is all on you.” She sniffles.
Why doesn’t she just take an ax to my chest? It would hurt less.
“You know what’s at stake.” I realize I’m wheedling and quit.
“Money. Your pride.”
“My career. My future.” As much as that’s inconvenient, those are indisputable facts. “I’m incredibly fond of you and I love Jamie, but—”
“Don’t rationalize this!” She finally starts yelling at me. “There will be other big-dollar properties. You will still have a career and a future without the Stowe listing. Your biggest problem is that you can’t stand to let your brother win. You have an insane need to be better than Griff at everything. You know I’m right. And he’s no different. You two are both egotistical, and I’m tired of trying to be the water always flowing around your immovable rock. If you want me to stay, you’re going to have to change direction for once.”
I’m digesting her speech. It’s raw. Starkly honest. She’s stripped me down to the ugliest place in my soul. I’d rather look away, but just like a train wreck, I can’t stop staring.
“Britta…”
“Don’t call me again unless it’s to tell me that you’re not going forward with this stupid scheme. And by the way, I know I need to accept that your brother and I are never getting back together. Makaio asked me to marry him yesterday afternoon. I’m going to say yes.”
Then she’s gone.
I scrub a hand down my face. Holy shit. Britta married to someone other than Griff. I guess it’s time. I mean, they’ve been apart for three years. I shouldn’t be shocked. Somehow, I am. My brother used to be the most protective, possessive boyfriend ever. I can’t imagine that he’ll take seeing Britta wearing another man’s ring well.
Then again, I never imagined he’d let her go at all.
I know I don’t want to, professionally speaking. She knows me well. We work together seamlessly. She fills in the blanks when I’m too busy or disorganized. She’s so knowledgeable. I would be lost around the office without her.
I look at the clock. It’s after ten now. I can’t sit here. I have to pace.
Thirty seconds later, I realize that wearing a path in the floor from one side of the condo to the other isn’t doing me a damn bit of good. I feel so fucking wound up and turned inside out. I need more space. I need air.
What I really need is Keeley.
I wrench open the door to the lanai and step outside. The sultry Hawaiian breeze immediately sweeps across my skin, ruffling my hair. I look out at the inky water shimmering under the golden moon hanging low and lazy. But there’s no peace. I seize the railing in a crushing grip, as if I can funnel everything I’m feeling out of my body through my hands.
Impossible.
Along the beach, I see the rocks where I stripped away Keeley’s reservations and clothes before I took her body. At the moment, I’d give anything to take that night back and start over. Get to know her just for her. Because she’s interesting. Unique. I sigh. Because it feels like she belongs with me. To me.
