My Clarity
Page 25
Shit! I wanted a cigarette, but after what she just said, how could I smoke in front of her? It would be a reminder of her father’s death. To make it worse, she told us that it had been only three months. It was no wonder she was crying like that, even in her sleep. He apparently appeared in her dreams. I knew that pain all too well. I’ve been there, felt it, and done that.
“I know it’s difficult when things don’t work out,” Lexy said. “I’m not trying to be negative or insensitive by saying that it won’t, but there are lots of available guys at our school who would love to take you out,” Lexy winked.
“Thanks, Lexy. I have to say….” Alex chocked backed her tears. “It’s been really difficult since my dad passed away. I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the day without crying so much. I was really nervous about coming here when I didn’t know anyone, but you guys have been really good to me. You make me feel like I’m part of a family. So, thank you for that. It makes the days bearable.” Her last sentence came out fast as she excused herself to make some phone calls, but I knew she went to the bathroom to wipe her tears.
The room was quiet after she left. Feeling my heart dive into that same place she felt, I grabbed another bottle of beer out of the fridge.
“You okay there, Elijah?” Seth asked, knowing why I had to get up. Seth knew about my past and he had always been sensitive about my feelings. He was such a great friend—Lexy and Jimmy, too. I don’t know what I would’ve done without them.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I sighed. I meant it this time. Somehow, I was able to push my pain aside. Alex’s wound was raw and fresh. It had been only three months, and yet she was so strong. She was brave to take off on her own like that. I admired her even more after today. Now I understood her a little bit more.
After I asked Lexy to check up on Alex, Seth and I headed to our destination.
Chapter 14
Alexandria
“You ready to go, Alex?” Lexy asked.
“You sure I need a sweater?” I asked without answering.
“The nights are getting colder. Bring one just in case.”
Lexy had come into my room after I excused myself. I’d left my door slightly ajar, thinking I would head back out after I looked at myself in the mirror to make sure I was presentable. But when I started reading a text from Emma letting me know how much she missed me, I ended up texting her back.
Emma would occasionally go singing with my dad and me. She let me know that she heard a song that reminded her about the time the three of us sang together; it had me in tears.
After I explained to Lexy, she held me until I stopped crying. I told myself many times that I had to stop crying in front of others. I didn’t want their sympathy. They all had their own problems. I didn’t want to add mine to theirs.
“I’m ready,” I said, standing in front of her in the kitchen. She told me to get ready while she did the dishes. “Where are Seth and Elijah?”
“They’re already at the race. We had better hurry. It’s not a big deal, but it’s a little exciting since it’s illegal.”
“What?” I questioned as my tone went up a notch.
“Don’t worry. I’ve been there many times.” Lexy tugged my arm, shutting the door behind us. “Just don’t leave my sight and stay close to me.”
On the way there, Lexy explained to me that street racing was illegal, which I knew. So why on earth would anyone go? I soon found out. Following her steps as quickly as I could, I saw how many people were there this late at night.
She was right when she told me how thrilling it was. Excitement filled the air seeing such a grand event, especially since this was all new to me. As I walked down the hill and glanced around, I buttoned my cardigan after I got caught in the sudden brisk breeze. Looking up at the dark sky, not a single star graced us tonight, giving me an eerie feeling. I was almost positive this feeling was because it was against the law and a part of me was worried about being here.
In front of me was a massive empty field. It was nothing but dirt and dead grass, but there were massive circular, florescent markings. I guessed that was where the race would take place. Watching the spectators walking with their warm drinks made me wish I had one, too. Shivering, I cuddled closer to Lexy.
Looking over my shoulder to see where the commotion was coming from, I saw several guys behind a table taking bets from a line of people. Some people were huddled together drinking beer, and others were snacking while lounging on a picnic blanket, conversing with friends around them. I recognized a few of them from my class.
I observed several other people as we continued to walk through the crowds. Though they had jackets on, their tattoos stuck out, clearly visible on their necks and their faces. I saw guys with pierced ears, eyebrows, lips, and even a nose or two. They didn’t look friendly at all. Maybe they just didn’t like me staring. Was I that obvious?
“Oh, good. We’ve made it just in time,” Lexy said breathlessly as we finally reached the bottom of the hill. “Do you see Seth or Elijah?” She glanced around. I tried to as well, but there were so many people that it was nearly impossible to spot them, not to mention the darkness that complicated matters more.
Just when I wondered how long we had to wait, I heard the engines revving. One black and one silver car, neither looking like typical racecars, were at the starting line. They were just plain solid colors. What was I expecting? This wasn’t the Indie 500.
“I know it’s difficult when things don’t work out,” Lexy said. “I’m not trying to be negative or insensitive by saying that it won’t, but there are lots of available guys at our school who would love to take you out,” Lexy winked.
“Thanks, Lexy. I have to say….” Alex chocked backed her tears. “It’s been really difficult since my dad passed away. I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the day without crying so much. I was really nervous about coming here when I didn’t know anyone, but you guys have been really good to me. You make me feel like I’m part of a family. So, thank you for that. It makes the days bearable.” Her last sentence came out fast as she excused herself to make some phone calls, but I knew she went to the bathroom to wipe her tears.
The room was quiet after she left. Feeling my heart dive into that same place she felt, I grabbed another bottle of beer out of the fridge.
“You okay there, Elijah?” Seth asked, knowing why I had to get up. Seth knew about my past and he had always been sensitive about my feelings. He was such a great friend—Lexy and Jimmy, too. I don’t know what I would’ve done without them.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I sighed. I meant it this time. Somehow, I was able to push my pain aside. Alex’s wound was raw and fresh. It had been only three months, and yet she was so strong. She was brave to take off on her own like that. I admired her even more after today. Now I understood her a little bit more.
After I asked Lexy to check up on Alex, Seth and I headed to our destination.
Chapter 14
Alexandria
“You ready to go, Alex?” Lexy asked.
“You sure I need a sweater?” I asked without answering.
“The nights are getting colder. Bring one just in case.”
Lexy had come into my room after I excused myself. I’d left my door slightly ajar, thinking I would head back out after I looked at myself in the mirror to make sure I was presentable. But when I started reading a text from Emma letting me know how much she missed me, I ended up texting her back.
Emma would occasionally go singing with my dad and me. She let me know that she heard a song that reminded her about the time the three of us sang together; it had me in tears.
After I explained to Lexy, she held me until I stopped crying. I told myself many times that I had to stop crying in front of others. I didn’t want their sympathy. They all had their own problems. I didn’t want to add mine to theirs.
“I’m ready,” I said, standing in front of her in the kitchen. She told me to get ready while she did the dishes. “Where are Seth and Elijah?”
“They’re already at the race. We had better hurry. It’s not a big deal, but it’s a little exciting since it’s illegal.”
“What?” I questioned as my tone went up a notch.
“Don’t worry. I’ve been there many times.” Lexy tugged my arm, shutting the door behind us. “Just don’t leave my sight and stay close to me.”
On the way there, Lexy explained to me that street racing was illegal, which I knew. So why on earth would anyone go? I soon found out. Following her steps as quickly as I could, I saw how many people were there this late at night.
She was right when she told me how thrilling it was. Excitement filled the air seeing such a grand event, especially since this was all new to me. As I walked down the hill and glanced around, I buttoned my cardigan after I got caught in the sudden brisk breeze. Looking up at the dark sky, not a single star graced us tonight, giving me an eerie feeling. I was almost positive this feeling was because it was against the law and a part of me was worried about being here.
In front of me was a massive empty field. It was nothing but dirt and dead grass, but there were massive circular, florescent markings. I guessed that was where the race would take place. Watching the spectators walking with their warm drinks made me wish I had one, too. Shivering, I cuddled closer to Lexy.
Looking over my shoulder to see where the commotion was coming from, I saw several guys behind a table taking bets from a line of people. Some people were huddled together drinking beer, and others were snacking while lounging on a picnic blanket, conversing with friends around them. I recognized a few of them from my class.
I observed several other people as we continued to walk through the crowds. Though they had jackets on, their tattoos stuck out, clearly visible on their necks and their faces. I saw guys with pierced ears, eyebrows, lips, and even a nose or two. They didn’t look friendly at all. Maybe they just didn’t like me staring. Was I that obvious?
“Oh, good. We’ve made it just in time,” Lexy said breathlessly as we finally reached the bottom of the hill. “Do you see Seth or Elijah?” She glanced around. I tried to as well, but there were so many people that it was nearly impossible to spot them, not to mention the darkness that complicated matters more.
Just when I wondered how long we had to wait, I heard the engines revving. One black and one silver car, neither looking like typical racecars, were at the starting line. They were just plain solid colors. What was I expecting? This wasn’t the Indie 500.
