My Clarity
Page 30
“Everything okay?” Elijah asked as I walked out of my room. He was flipping through the channels. Sitting lazily on the sofa, his legs were spread out with one hand on the armrest while the other hand held the remote control.
“He’s just mad, but he’ll get over it.” I sat on the sofa across from him after I threw away the stick in the trashcan.
“It seems like he’s mad all the time.”
“He’s just frustrated with the situation. I live three hours away from him and I don’t have a car, but I’m very close to having one.”
“What do you mean?”
I could have sworn I had mentioned it to him before. Maybe he forgot. “I’ve been saving my money for a down payment.”
Elijah turned his attention away from the television, shifting his body toward me. “You surprise me all the time.” Then he started to flip through channels again.
“Thanks,” I smiled, hoping what he said was a good thing. “Oh, stop. That’s my favorite movie.” I pointed at the television screen.
“Grease?” he chuckled lightly. Twisting his head to me, his eyes twinkled like he wanted to share a dirty secret. “Don’t tell anyone, but I like it too,” he winked, biting his bottom lip, possibly thinking what I would say next. “I had a major crush on Olivia Newton-John.”
Oh God! That wink made my stomach flutter.
“What’s your favorite song?” he continued.
“I guess I’d have to say, ‘You’re The One That I Want.’ I had a major crush on John Travolta. My dad and I used to sing that together. Actually, I made him,” I said somberly. “I know it sounds strange, but my dad and I were very close. Most daughters are closer to their moms, but it was the other way for me.”
Elijah nodded, giving me his complete attention. His eyes said he was yearning to know more.
“We used to sing a lot together. My dad had a great voice,” I continued as my lips quivered. I purposely took a few deep breaths to hold myself together. There was no way I was going to break down in front of him again. “He would let me bring some of my friends. My best friend back home, Emma, would come with us a lot. Those were the good old days,” I smiled. “You know, that night at Campus Karaoke was the first time I sang in public since his funeral. It was difficult for me before, but I think I’m slowly starting to let him go.”
“Alex, it’s only been a few months. It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to cry. Some people take years to grieve for their loved ones, but you’re so strong. I would have never known. Is that the reason why you ran out the door that night?”
“Yes, but it got worse when I heard the song my dad used to sing to me when I was little, ‘You are my sunshine.’”
“Oh, shit! I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”
“It was one of the songs our fraternity big brothers made us sing to the sorority pledges. But you know what? The more you hear it and get used to it, it will make it easier.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. And you know what else?” He slightly leaned toward me, as if what he was about to say was something important, something he really wanted to stress, and I could see the sincerity flashing in his eyes. “Your dad is smiling at you right now. And he’s proud of you for being so strong.”
“You really think so?” I questioned, but I only said that to distract him. It was more of a rhetorical question. “Thanks.” My eyes started to blur with tears. The truth was, besides Emma, Elijah was the only one who seemed to truly understand how I felt. He didn’t tell me to stop thinking about my father like Liam did. Elijah’s words gave me comfort, and I didn’t feel so alone.
After having this conversation, I felt like our friendship grew to another level. I’d judged him because he smoked, his tattoos, being standoffish toward me when we first met, and other things, but what I missed in the beginning was his genuine heart. He wasn’t the bad boy other girls made him out to be, and if he was…well…he was a bad boy with a beautiful heart, and that alone made him more attractive.
“What’s your favorite part of the movie?” His question helped stop the tears from falling.
I quickly dabbed a drop that was about to fall. “I like everything about the movie. I think it was so cute at the end how they tried to change their appearance for each other. You know how Sandy dressed all hot and sexy and Danny dressed all preppy? And how could you not love the ending? How they drove off into the sunset together. That was sweet.”
Elijah nodded in understanding with a grin, and then changed the subject. “Since Liam left, I invited Lexy and Seth to come over. You don’t mind do you?”
“Nope, I don’t mind at all.”
“I hope you like to watch scary movies. We’re going to watch “The Ring.”
I gulped in fright. “Um…Sure.”
Lexy and I made the popcorn while the boys set up the movie. It had been a while since I’d seen a scary movie. I have nightmares when I watch them, but I figured I’d be ok with my friends there. How wrong I was!
Lexy sat next to Seth, which meant I had no choice but to sit next to Elijah. I could tell they were enjoying the movie, but while I, on the other hand held onto the sofa pillow and bit my lower lip.
Occasionally, when I would cover my eyes with my hands, Elijah would chuckle and nudge me to watch. Sometimes his knee would touch mine by accident, but he would quickly shift away. One time, his arms went around my shoulder as if we were a couple, but he apologized and folded his arms in front of him again. I knew his actions were not intentional, but I didn’t mind his soft touches. In a way, the physical contact gave me comfort through this dreadful scary movie.
“He’s just mad, but he’ll get over it.” I sat on the sofa across from him after I threw away the stick in the trashcan.
“It seems like he’s mad all the time.”
“He’s just frustrated with the situation. I live three hours away from him and I don’t have a car, but I’m very close to having one.”
“What do you mean?”
I could have sworn I had mentioned it to him before. Maybe he forgot. “I’ve been saving my money for a down payment.”
Elijah turned his attention away from the television, shifting his body toward me. “You surprise me all the time.” Then he started to flip through channels again.
“Thanks,” I smiled, hoping what he said was a good thing. “Oh, stop. That’s my favorite movie.” I pointed at the television screen.
“Grease?” he chuckled lightly. Twisting his head to me, his eyes twinkled like he wanted to share a dirty secret. “Don’t tell anyone, but I like it too,” he winked, biting his bottom lip, possibly thinking what I would say next. “I had a major crush on Olivia Newton-John.”
Oh God! That wink made my stomach flutter.
“What’s your favorite song?” he continued.
“I guess I’d have to say, ‘You’re The One That I Want.’ I had a major crush on John Travolta. My dad and I used to sing that together. Actually, I made him,” I said somberly. “I know it sounds strange, but my dad and I were very close. Most daughters are closer to their moms, but it was the other way for me.”
Elijah nodded, giving me his complete attention. His eyes said he was yearning to know more.
“We used to sing a lot together. My dad had a great voice,” I continued as my lips quivered. I purposely took a few deep breaths to hold myself together. There was no way I was going to break down in front of him again. “He would let me bring some of my friends. My best friend back home, Emma, would come with us a lot. Those were the good old days,” I smiled. “You know, that night at Campus Karaoke was the first time I sang in public since his funeral. It was difficult for me before, but I think I’m slowly starting to let him go.”
“Alex, it’s only been a few months. It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to cry. Some people take years to grieve for their loved ones, but you’re so strong. I would have never known. Is that the reason why you ran out the door that night?”
“Yes, but it got worse when I heard the song my dad used to sing to me when I was little, ‘You are my sunshine.’”
“Oh, shit! I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”
“It was one of the songs our fraternity big brothers made us sing to the sorority pledges. But you know what? The more you hear it and get used to it, it will make it easier.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. And you know what else?” He slightly leaned toward me, as if what he was about to say was something important, something he really wanted to stress, and I could see the sincerity flashing in his eyes. “Your dad is smiling at you right now. And he’s proud of you for being so strong.”
“You really think so?” I questioned, but I only said that to distract him. It was more of a rhetorical question. “Thanks.” My eyes started to blur with tears. The truth was, besides Emma, Elijah was the only one who seemed to truly understand how I felt. He didn’t tell me to stop thinking about my father like Liam did. Elijah’s words gave me comfort, and I didn’t feel so alone.
After having this conversation, I felt like our friendship grew to another level. I’d judged him because he smoked, his tattoos, being standoffish toward me when we first met, and other things, but what I missed in the beginning was his genuine heart. He wasn’t the bad boy other girls made him out to be, and if he was…well…he was a bad boy with a beautiful heart, and that alone made him more attractive.
“What’s your favorite part of the movie?” His question helped stop the tears from falling.
I quickly dabbed a drop that was about to fall. “I like everything about the movie. I think it was so cute at the end how they tried to change their appearance for each other. You know how Sandy dressed all hot and sexy and Danny dressed all preppy? And how could you not love the ending? How they drove off into the sunset together. That was sweet.”
Elijah nodded in understanding with a grin, and then changed the subject. “Since Liam left, I invited Lexy and Seth to come over. You don’t mind do you?”
“Nope, I don’t mind at all.”
“I hope you like to watch scary movies. We’re going to watch “The Ring.”
I gulped in fright. “Um…Sure.”
Lexy and I made the popcorn while the boys set up the movie. It had been a while since I’d seen a scary movie. I have nightmares when I watch them, but I figured I’d be ok with my friends there. How wrong I was!
Lexy sat next to Seth, which meant I had no choice but to sit next to Elijah. I could tell they were enjoying the movie, but while I, on the other hand held onto the sofa pillow and bit my lower lip.
Occasionally, when I would cover my eyes with my hands, Elijah would chuckle and nudge me to watch. Sometimes his knee would touch mine by accident, but he would quickly shift away. One time, his arms went around my shoulder as if we were a couple, but he apologized and folded his arms in front of him again. I knew his actions were not intentional, but I didn’t mind his soft touches. In a way, the physical contact gave me comfort through this dreadful scary movie.
