My Clarity
Page 34
“His father was a big time gambler. His parents got divorced a while back. His father stopped paying child support. It was difficult since his mom was a housewife and never held a job in her life. He started racing to help his family. It’s sad that he doesn’t know where his father is, but on the other hand, he doesn’t care. He says his father is dead to him anyway.”
“How long ago did his brother pass away?”
“Just a year ago.”
“A year ago?” My tone went up a notch as my stomach sank. I had just told him about my loss, yet he was in pain, too. Now I felt horrible. “How did his brother die?”
“Cancer,” she said quickly and changed the subject. “We’re here. Make sure to stay close to me. If I lose you, I’m in big trouble.”
“Lexy.” I placed my hand on her shoulder before she could get out of the car. “I appreciate you telling me about Elijah. I won’t let on that I know.”
“Thanks,” she said. “We tried to be there for him, you know. People grieve in different ways. Elijah is genuinely a great guy. I think he blames himself for not being able to save his brother and his mother. We’re just glad he came back to school and is doing his best to get that college degree and start living again.”
“One more thing.” I reached for her again. “You don’t have to feel like you have to watch over me.”
“We all watch out for each other, Alex, but it’s not because of the reasons you think.”
“Then why?”
“First of all, you’re my friend and you had no idea about the races. Second, Elijah asked me to. You’re not to be out of my sight. Now that Nolan showed an interest in you, he doesn’t want you hanging out with that crowd.”
“I don’t plan on it.”
“It doesn’t matter. Nolan will go after what he wants, just like Elijah.”
I could understand what Lexy was talking about. Nolan could be aggressive if he wanted to be. Lexy got out of the car and I followed, adjusting my scarf.
“So what’s going on with Liam?” she asked out of the blue.
“I don’t know. He’s changed or maybe I’ve changed. He was good to me at the beginning, but I think this long distance relationship isn’t helping. Sometimes I think I should break it off. I don’t feel the same about him as I did back then. He’s always mad at me or maybe I’m mad at him. I don’t know how I feel anymore.”
“Long distance relationships can do that to you, but if you don’t love him, then cut him off. Why waste your time and energy?”
“I know. It’s just that I’m not sure. It’s easier to see what happens than doing something about it. Once we’re broken, I know there’s no going back. It’s hard to let go.”
“I understand,” she sighed. “It was difficult for me to break it off with Jimmy.”
It was my turned to ask questions. “Did Heather and Elijah break up?”
“Who knows? They’re on and off. They’ve never really been officially together. Elijah won’t commit because he swore off relationships after the last disaster.”
“Last disaster?” I asked, hoping to hear more.
Lexy stopped and held a serious look. “Don’t tell him I told you about her. She was a manipulative, selfish, gold digger, and a slut.”
“A slut? Really?”
“I have no proof, but I’m pretty sure Nolan paid her to get any information on Elijah. Who knows what else she did with him.”
“Is that why Nolan and Elijah don’t get along?”
“Partially. They’ve always been the top two racers and they both have massive egos they can’t control.”
I laughed and changed the subject as we proceeded ahead. “Is Heather going to be there?”
“It depends on her mood. She’s probably upset she’s not the starter girl, so knowing her, she won’t be there.”
Our conversation stopped after that. Hugging my jacket closer to my body, we walked the rest of the way in silence. It was dark as we trudged across grass, then gravel. I didn’t see many cars, but I knew people parked farther away, so as not to draw any attention. After entering a private door, my question about how many people would be attending was answered.
It was more crowded than last time. Shoulder to shoulder, we bumped into people walking in. People betting, music blasting, and alcohol was everywhere. My body tingled with exhilaration and I couldn’t fight the butterflies dancing in my stomach. Looking around, though I wasn’t positive, it looked like an abandoned racehorse track. As I looked further up, I saw rows and rows of stadium seats. This felt like the real thing and not something illegal. I couldn’t help feeling both nervous and excited for Elijah.
“Come on. Elijah told me you’re the starter girl today.” Her words were lost to the crowd as she pulled me along. We had just passed in front of the loud speakers.
Did I hear her right? “Elijah didn’t want me to be the starter girl,” I hollered at Lexy. It was getting hard to hear as I dragged my feet through the dirt, trying to keep up with her.
“He told me to bring you to the starting position.”
“He did?” I mumbled under my breath. Suddenly, I was jolted by the same rush and joy that illuminated from the jovial crowd.
Two cars were approaching, indicating it was about to start. I recognized the silver car from the last race so the black one had to be Elijah’s. Feeling every fiber of my being tense with nervousness, my heart drummed with the roaring sound from the racecars.
“How long ago did his brother pass away?”
“Just a year ago.”
“A year ago?” My tone went up a notch as my stomach sank. I had just told him about my loss, yet he was in pain, too. Now I felt horrible. “How did his brother die?”
“Cancer,” she said quickly and changed the subject. “We’re here. Make sure to stay close to me. If I lose you, I’m in big trouble.”
“Lexy.” I placed my hand on her shoulder before she could get out of the car. “I appreciate you telling me about Elijah. I won’t let on that I know.”
“Thanks,” she said. “We tried to be there for him, you know. People grieve in different ways. Elijah is genuinely a great guy. I think he blames himself for not being able to save his brother and his mother. We’re just glad he came back to school and is doing his best to get that college degree and start living again.”
“One more thing.” I reached for her again. “You don’t have to feel like you have to watch over me.”
“We all watch out for each other, Alex, but it’s not because of the reasons you think.”
“Then why?”
“First of all, you’re my friend and you had no idea about the races. Second, Elijah asked me to. You’re not to be out of my sight. Now that Nolan showed an interest in you, he doesn’t want you hanging out with that crowd.”
“I don’t plan on it.”
“It doesn’t matter. Nolan will go after what he wants, just like Elijah.”
I could understand what Lexy was talking about. Nolan could be aggressive if he wanted to be. Lexy got out of the car and I followed, adjusting my scarf.
“So what’s going on with Liam?” she asked out of the blue.
“I don’t know. He’s changed or maybe I’ve changed. He was good to me at the beginning, but I think this long distance relationship isn’t helping. Sometimes I think I should break it off. I don’t feel the same about him as I did back then. He’s always mad at me or maybe I’m mad at him. I don’t know how I feel anymore.”
“Long distance relationships can do that to you, but if you don’t love him, then cut him off. Why waste your time and energy?”
“I know. It’s just that I’m not sure. It’s easier to see what happens than doing something about it. Once we’re broken, I know there’s no going back. It’s hard to let go.”
“I understand,” she sighed. “It was difficult for me to break it off with Jimmy.”
It was my turned to ask questions. “Did Heather and Elijah break up?”
“Who knows? They’re on and off. They’ve never really been officially together. Elijah won’t commit because he swore off relationships after the last disaster.”
“Last disaster?” I asked, hoping to hear more.
Lexy stopped and held a serious look. “Don’t tell him I told you about her. She was a manipulative, selfish, gold digger, and a slut.”
“A slut? Really?”
“I have no proof, but I’m pretty sure Nolan paid her to get any information on Elijah. Who knows what else she did with him.”
“Is that why Nolan and Elijah don’t get along?”
“Partially. They’ve always been the top two racers and they both have massive egos they can’t control.”
I laughed and changed the subject as we proceeded ahead. “Is Heather going to be there?”
“It depends on her mood. She’s probably upset she’s not the starter girl, so knowing her, she won’t be there.”
Our conversation stopped after that. Hugging my jacket closer to my body, we walked the rest of the way in silence. It was dark as we trudged across grass, then gravel. I didn’t see many cars, but I knew people parked farther away, so as not to draw any attention. After entering a private door, my question about how many people would be attending was answered.
It was more crowded than last time. Shoulder to shoulder, we bumped into people walking in. People betting, music blasting, and alcohol was everywhere. My body tingled with exhilaration and I couldn’t fight the butterflies dancing in my stomach. Looking around, though I wasn’t positive, it looked like an abandoned racehorse track. As I looked further up, I saw rows and rows of stadium seats. This felt like the real thing and not something illegal. I couldn’t help feeling both nervous and excited for Elijah.
“Come on. Elijah told me you’re the starter girl today.” Her words were lost to the crowd as she pulled me along. We had just passed in front of the loud speakers.
Did I hear her right? “Elijah didn’t want me to be the starter girl,” I hollered at Lexy. It was getting hard to hear as I dragged my feet through the dirt, trying to keep up with her.
“He told me to bring you to the starting position.”
“He did?” I mumbled under my breath. Suddenly, I was jolted by the same rush and joy that illuminated from the jovial crowd.
Two cars were approaching, indicating it was about to start. I recognized the silver car from the last race so the black one had to be Elijah’s. Feeling every fiber of my being tense with nervousness, my heart drummed with the roaring sound from the racecars.
