My Clarity
Page 38
Looking around, I rested my hands on my knees. My body was slumped over as I gasped for breath. I had no idea where I was. I had never ventured off this way before since it was not heading toward the campus. Looking around, I could hear music coming from one of the condos. I knew someone was having a party. I was just about to leave when I heard my name.
“Alex?”
I knew that voice. “Elijah?” He appeared out of the shadows.
“What are you doing here?” He dropped his cigarette and crushed it with his shoe. That action brought back the bad memories of my dad. Peering around him was Heather. For some reason, that really bothered me. My heart was playing tug a war with my feelings. Sometimes I wondered what it would be like if Elijah and I were going out and other times, I didn’t care.
“I…were you at the condo? I mean….” I started to say and lost my words.
“We got a text from Dean. They’re having the after party at his place. I thought you were with Liam.” When he strode toward me, I saw Heather throw up her hands. Without a word, she went back inside.
“I was, but we got into a fight.” I wanted to tell him that I had broken up with him, but decided not to. What was the point?
“What’s he mad about this time? Sorry.” Elijah slipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “It’s none of my business.”
“That’s okay. Enjoy your party. Looks like your date went back inside. She didn’t look too happy. I’m going back home now.”
“Hold on.” Elijah took out his cell and started texting. “I’ll walk you home.”
“No, it’s okay. Your friend is waiting for you.”
“You can stay if you like.”
“Thank you, but I’m tired. It’s been a long day.”
Elijah didn’t listen. He started to walk ahead of me. “Are you coming, or do I have to walk home alone?”
Shrugging my shoulders, I joined him.
“It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it?” he asked, peering up at the dark sky.
There weren’t many stars out and I wondered what he was talking about. “Might be better if there were more stars.”
“Now, that’s where you’re wrong. You’re looking for something you don’t see, what you wish you could see, instead of focusing on what you can see.”
I never looked at it that way. Elijah just opened my eyes. “You’re right. It is beautiful.”
Elijah halted beneath a streetlight and turned to me. “Sometimes you see the most beauty in the fewest things.” Unexpectedly, his finger came toward my face and lightly brushed the tip of my nose. “Kind of like the freckles on your nose.”
“What?” I shivered, unnerved by his words. “My freckles? Yuck. I don’t like them.”
“I think they’re cute. They’re very faint, so most people wouldn’t notice, but I’ve seen you up close many times.”
Elijah made me flush with warmth. “Thank you.” It was all I could say. Did Liam even know I had freckles on my nose?
“So, Freckles, tell me about your dad,” he said out of the blue, walking forward again.
“Did you just call me Freckles?” I giggled.
“I sure did. It’s your new nickname. We all have a nickname, except for you. I even call Lexy, Lexus, sometimes.”
I laughed lightly, dismissing what he had said, then got back to his question. “I’m not sure what to tell you or where to begin. You already know enough about him. How about you tell me about your brother?” As soon as I said the words, I regretted them. It was a slip of the tongue.
Elijah stopped and turned to me. “My brother? Who told you I had a brother?” He sounded upset.
Not wanting to point the finger at Lexy, I had to think fast. “I saw your photos that night when I slept in your bed.” I gulped when I said those words. It sounded so naughty and intimate.
Elijah started walking faster, leaving me behind and ignoring my question.
“Elijah, I’m sorry,” I said out loud, jogging, trying to catch up to him. Then…THUMP! I fell flat on my face. Thank God it was on the grass. My foot dipped into a hole.
“Alex, are you hurt?” Elijah reached for me, helping me dust off the new cut grass residue.
“I’m okay,” I mumbled, slapping off the areas he shouldn’t touch. Standing there, our eyes locked in place. I saw so much pain in them as he searched for words.
My body quivered when his hand reached for my face. He moved his hand tenderly, as if he was touching the most delicate, precious thing. He glided his thumb around my cheek. At first, I thought my face was full of grass, but I was wrong…very wrong.
It seemed like time had stopped as we stood there. Though we were engulfed in almost complete darkness, the streetlights gave enough light for me to see his glistening eyes. I couldn’t tell if they were tears or just the light that made his eyes twinkle like the stars.
“Alex,” Elijah whispered softly, continuing to caress my cheek tenderly. His lips parted to speak, but then he closed them. His eyes blinked slowly before drilling into mine. “My brother….” He paused. “He died from Leukemia. He was only thirteen years old. I couldn’t save him. I wasn’t a donor match. They couldn’t find one in time. I wish I could’ve saved him.” Every word he spoke, I felt his ache gripping my heart.
“Elijah,” I swallowed. I could see so much pain in those beautiful, somber eyes. As he continued, they glistened brighter. Now I was certain they were tears. “It’s not your fault. You shouldn’t blame yourself for something you had no control over. I know that if it were possible you would’ve switched places with him. You’re an amazing person. Your brother would be very proud of you right now.”
“Alex?”
I knew that voice. “Elijah?” He appeared out of the shadows.
“What are you doing here?” He dropped his cigarette and crushed it with his shoe. That action brought back the bad memories of my dad. Peering around him was Heather. For some reason, that really bothered me. My heart was playing tug a war with my feelings. Sometimes I wondered what it would be like if Elijah and I were going out and other times, I didn’t care.
“I…were you at the condo? I mean….” I started to say and lost my words.
“We got a text from Dean. They’re having the after party at his place. I thought you were with Liam.” When he strode toward me, I saw Heather throw up her hands. Without a word, she went back inside.
“I was, but we got into a fight.” I wanted to tell him that I had broken up with him, but decided not to. What was the point?
“What’s he mad about this time? Sorry.” Elijah slipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “It’s none of my business.”
“That’s okay. Enjoy your party. Looks like your date went back inside. She didn’t look too happy. I’m going back home now.”
“Hold on.” Elijah took out his cell and started texting. “I’ll walk you home.”
“No, it’s okay. Your friend is waiting for you.”
“You can stay if you like.”
“Thank you, but I’m tired. It’s been a long day.”
Elijah didn’t listen. He started to walk ahead of me. “Are you coming, or do I have to walk home alone?”
Shrugging my shoulders, I joined him.
“It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it?” he asked, peering up at the dark sky.
There weren’t many stars out and I wondered what he was talking about. “Might be better if there were more stars.”
“Now, that’s where you’re wrong. You’re looking for something you don’t see, what you wish you could see, instead of focusing on what you can see.”
I never looked at it that way. Elijah just opened my eyes. “You’re right. It is beautiful.”
Elijah halted beneath a streetlight and turned to me. “Sometimes you see the most beauty in the fewest things.” Unexpectedly, his finger came toward my face and lightly brushed the tip of my nose. “Kind of like the freckles on your nose.”
“What?” I shivered, unnerved by his words. “My freckles? Yuck. I don’t like them.”
“I think they’re cute. They’re very faint, so most people wouldn’t notice, but I’ve seen you up close many times.”
Elijah made me flush with warmth. “Thank you.” It was all I could say. Did Liam even know I had freckles on my nose?
“So, Freckles, tell me about your dad,” he said out of the blue, walking forward again.
“Did you just call me Freckles?” I giggled.
“I sure did. It’s your new nickname. We all have a nickname, except for you. I even call Lexy, Lexus, sometimes.”
I laughed lightly, dismissing what he had said, then got back to his question. “I’m not sure what to tell you or where to begin. You already know enough about him. How about you tell me about your brother?” As soon as I said the words, I regretted them. It was a slip of the tongue.
Elijah stopped and turned to me. “My brother? Who told you I had a brother?” He sounded upset.
Not wanting to point the finger at Lexy, I had to think fast. “I saw your photos that night when I slept in your bed.” I gulped when I said those words. It sounded so naughty and intimate.
Elijah started walking faster, leaving me behind and ignoring my question.
“Elijah, I’m sorry,” I said out loud, jogging, trying to catch up to him. Then…THUMP! I fell flat on my face. Thank God it was on the grass. My foot dipped into a hole.
“Alex, are you hurt?” Elijah reached for me, helping me dust off the new cut grass residue.
“I’m okay,” I mumbled, slapping off the areas he shouldn’t touch. Standing there, our eyes locked in place. I saw so much pain in them as he searched for words.
My body quivered when his hand reached for my face. He moved his hand tenderly, as if he was touching the most delicate, precious thing. He glided his thumb around my cheek. At first, I thought my face was full of grass, but I was wrong…very wrong.
It seemed like time had stopped as we stood there. Though we were engulfed in almost complete darkness, the streetlights gave enough light for me to see his glistening eyes. I couldn’t tell if they were tears or just the light that made his eyes twinkle like the stars.
“Alex,” Elijah whispered softly, continuing to caress my cheek tenderly. His lips parted to speak, but then he closed them. His eyes blinked slowly before drilling into mine. “My brother….” He paused. “He died from Leukemia. He was only thirteen years old. I couldn’t save him. I wasn’t a donor match. They couldn’t find one in time. I wish I could’ve saved him.” Every word he spoke, I felt his ache gripping my heart.
“Elijah,” I swallowed. I could see so much pain in those beautiful, somber eyes. As he continued, they glistened brighter. Now I was certain they were tears. “It’s not your fault. You shouldn’t blame yourself for something you had no control over. I know that if it were possible you would’ve switched places with him. You’re an amazing person. Your brother would be very proud of you right now.”
