My Clarity
Page 71
Our broken roads led us into each other’s arms, but now it’s time to let go. You’ll always be in my heart wherever I may be, but I’ll never forget your smile. I’ll never forget cookies and milk. I’ll never forget our love for Grease. I’ll never forget how beautiful your voice is. I’ll never forget you. You are my sunshine and I’m your moon and for too short a time, we were perfect and complete.
Seth has all my bank account information. I’m leaving everything to you. He will know what to do.
And before I forget.
Remember when you asked me if I’d ever loved a woman after I sang the song, “To Love A Woman” by E.C., and I said no? The truth is, I hadn’t until I fell in love with you. So, now you know my answer is yes. The song was written by me, E.C.—Elijah Cooper. ‘A Woman’ is you-Alexandria Weis. Yes. I wrote the song for you. The actual title is, “To Love Alexandria Weis.”
P.S.
If I’m perfectly fine and you’re reading this letter, shame on you. That means you had your hands inside my pockets or you accidently found it by seducing me and wearing my pride and joy. How I wish this could be true.
All of me loves all of you, forever and ever.
-Elijah
Tears poured down my face. My aching breaths came out as tiny gasps, causing me to hyperventilate. The little tremors inside me quickly became an earthquake. I was panicking. I was desperate. I needed Elijah to wake up. Reading this beautiful letter brought me to another level of grief and despair, and I was freaking the hell out. Suddenly, the little hope I was holding on to faded.
I didn’t know I had dropped to the floor until Lexy started to lift me up. Feeling like my heart had been ripped out, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around my chest to keep from breaking apart. “Elijah,” I managed to say, gasping for air. With a trembling hand, I showed Lexy the letter. She didn’t read it. She folded it, shoved it into the pocket of the leather jacket and embraced me.
“I need to tell him—” I started to heave. No air. I needed air. Oh God. I couldn’t breathe. “We had a fight. He needs to hear it again,” I cried. “I didn’t say—” I made another aching noise.
“It’s okay, Alex.” Lexy rubbed my back, trying to comfort me, but nothing, absolutely nothing could ease the pain I was feeling right now. “Shhh…it’s okay. He already knows you love him.”
As I held onto to her tightly, my body shook and gut-wrenching sounds escaped from my mouth. It hurt so bad. I couldn’t feel anything else but the pain that controlled me. It sucked me into an endless hole, falling and never stopping. Everything I did took so much effort. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe, and I had lost all control.
Lexy stroked my hair as she continued to comfort me. “He loves you so much, Alex. He’s fighting with everything he has to come back to you. I know Elijah, and he never breaks his promises.”
Unable to say a word, I nodded after I took a moment to calm down.
Seeing Seth walk in, I released Lexy and wiped my tears.
“You should get something to eat,” Seth said. “Why don’t you and Lexy get something to drink at least? There is a cafeteria on the first floor.”
“Come with me, Alex,” Lexy suggested, wiping away her own tears. “Elijah’s other friends are here to see him. Let’s take a walk, so we can give them some time with him.”
I nodded in agreement, but I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to leave Elijah. Seth placed his hand on my shoulder. “I forgot to tell you, Jimmy is on his way. He should be here tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I nodded and headed out with Lexy. I don’t know why, but knowing Jimmy was on his way gave me comfort and hope.
I knew I was dreaming and I didn’t want to wake up. Elijah and I were in his bed, laughing and talking. He was telling me how much he loved me, while he held me in his arms. My dad appeared, standing by the window, smiling. I sat up thinking he was going to be upset seeing his daughter in bed with a guy she wasn’t married to, but he just stood there without saying a word.
“Alex,” I heard a voice say.
Lifting my head off the hospital bed mattress, I fluttered my eyes to clear my vision and rubbed my shoulders to ease the ache from the position I was in. I had scooted the chair as close as possible to the bed, so I could hold onto Elijah’s hand.
“Alex.” I felt someone’s hand on my back.
“Jimmy?” I stood and practically jumped on him. “You’re here.” The tears poured out again. Jimmy held me tightly for a long time until I was ready to let go. With the same blondish short haircut, he looked the same. Though he was still lean, he had more muscle than the last time I had seen him. He wore a black sweater and a pair of jeans. His blues eyes shined with concern as he stared back at me, as if he couldn’t believe why he was here.
“When did you get here? What time is it?” I asked.
“It’s noon. I came here first thing. The gang is outside in the waiting room. They’ve been here all night.”
I turned to Elijah with a look of admiration. “He’s had a lot of visitors, not just from friends, but from the hospital staff. I think he gets special treatment from the nurses because they know him. They’re letting things slip by that are against regulations. I wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with him if it wasn’t for the nurses pretending they don’t see me.”
“He’s a great guy. He spent a lot of time at this hospital for various reasons.”
Seth has all my bank account information. I’m leaving everything to you. He will know what to do.
And before I forget.
Remember when you asked me if I’d ever loved a woman after I sang the song, “To Love A Woman” by E.C., and I said no? The truth is, I hadn’t until I fell in love with you. So, now you know my answer is yes. The song was written by me, E.C.—Elijah Cooper. ‘A Woman’ is you-Alexandria Weis. Yes. I wrote the song for you. The actual title is, “To Love Alexandria Weis.”
P.S.
If I’m perfectly fine and you’re reading this letter, shame on you. That means you had your hands inside my pockets or you accidently found it by seducing me and wearing my pride and joy. How I wish this could be true.
All of me loves all of you, forever and ever.
-Elijah
Tears poured down my face. My aching breaths came out as tiny gasps, causing me to hyperventilate. The little tremors inside me quickly became an earthquake. I was panicking. I was desperate. I needed Elijah to wake up. Reading this beautiful letter brought me to another level of grief and despair, and I was freaking the hell out. Suddenly, the little hope I was holding on to faded.
I didn’t know I had dropped to the floor until Lexy started to lift me up. Feeling like my heart had been ripped out, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around my chest to keep from breaking apart. “Elijah,” I managed to say, gasping for air. With a trembling hand, I showed Lexy the letter. She didn’t read it. She folded it, shoved it into the pocket of the leather jacket and embraced me.
“I need to tell him—” I started to heave. No air. I needed air. Oh God. I couldn’t breathe. “We had a fight. He needs to hear it again,” I cried. “I didn’t say—” I made another aching noise.
“It’s okay, Alex.” Lexy rubbed my back, trying to comfort me, but nothing, absolutely nothing could ease the pain I was feeling right now. “Shhh…it’s okay. He already knows you love him.”
As I held onto to her tightly, my body shook and gut-wrenching sounds escaped from my mouth. It hurt so bad. I couldn’t feel anything else but the pain that controlled me. It sucked me into an endless hole, falling and never stopping. Everything I did took so much effort. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe, and I had lost all control.
Lexy stroked my hair as she continued to comfort me. “He loves you so much, Alex. He’s fighting with everything he has to come back to you. I know Elijah, and he never breaks his promises.”
Unable to say a word, I nodded after I took a moment to calm down.
Seeing Seth walk in, I released Lexy and wiped my tears.
“You should get something to eat,” Seth said. “Why don’t you and Lexy get something to drink at least? There is a cafeteria on the first floor.”
“Come with me, Alex,” Lexy suggested, wiping away her own tears. “Elijah’s other friends are here to see him. Let’s take a walk, so we can give them some time with him.”
I nodded in agreement, but I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to leave Elijah. Seth placed his hand on my shoulder. “I forgot to tell you, Jimmy is on his way. He should be here tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I nodded and headed out with Lexy. I don’t know why, but knowing Jimmy was on his way gave me comfort and hope.
I knew I was dreaming and I didn’t want to wake up. Elijah and I were in his bed, laughing and talking. He was telling me how much he loved me, while he held me in his arms. My dad appeared, standing by the window, smiling. I sat up thinking he was going to be upset seeing his daughter in bed with a guy she wasn’t married to, but he just stood there without saying a word.
“Alex,” I heard a voice say.
Lifting my head off the hospital bed mattress, I fluttered my eyes to clear my vision and rubbed my shoulders to ease the ache from the position I was in. I had scooted the chair as close as possible to the bed, so I could hold onto Elijah’s hand.
“Alex.” I felt someone’s hand on my back.
“Jimmy?” I stood and practically jumped on him. “You’re here.” The tears poured out again. Jimmy held me tightly for a long time until I was ready to let go. With the same blondish short haircut, he looked the same. Though he was still lean, he had more muscle than the last time I had seen him. He wore a black sweater and a pair of jeans. His blues eyes shined with concern as he stared back at me, as if he couldn’t believe why he was here.
“When did you get here? What time is it?” I asked.
“It’s noon. I came here first thing. The gang is outside in the waiting room. They’ve been here all night.”
I turned to Elijah with a look of admiration. “He’s had a lot of visitors, not just from friends, but from the hospital staff. I think he gets special treatment from the nurses because they know him. They’re letting things slip by that are against regulations. I wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with him if it wasn’t for the nurses pretending they don’t see me.”
“He’s a great guy. He spent a lot of time at this hospital for various reasons.”
