My Soul to Keep
Page 61
People were starting to openly stare, so I looked at the table and counted to ten to get my temper back under control. When I looked up, Tod was wiping both hands over his face, the muscles in his arms bunched with tension.
I hope its worth it, whatever hes giving you, I spat as softly as I could. I hope its worth the three lives youve ruined. Four, if you counted Emmas, and five if you counted mine, because there was no guarantee Id walk away from the Netherworld alive this time. Or at all.
Tod flinched, but didnt break eye contact. Its Addison, he said, his voice so low and heavy I wasnt sure Id heard it at all. I traded my service as a courier for an hour a day with Addy.
Huh?
Tod, Addisons dead.
He nodded slowly. Her body is. But her soul is alive and not so well in the Netherworld, and the only way I can help her is to give her an hour a day free from torture and humiliation. To keep her sane. It seemed like the least I could do, considering I failed to get her soul back before she died. Tods jaw tightened, and he held my gaze, steadily. Unashamed. Yet I saw the flicker of pain and determination in his eyes.
I felt my heart splinter and thought for a moment that I could actually hear the cracks. How was I supposed to stay mad at him now? Tod had been ruining lives with his own postmodern, interdimensional version of chivalry.
Will all the real men please stand up?
I swear I didnt know what I was carrying.
I wanted to ask if that would have mattered. If hed known what he was really agreeing to, would he have considered five ruined livesand potentially countless moreworth an hour of comfort a day for Addison? But I didnt ask, because I already knew that where Addy was concerned, Tod had no limits. Hed been willing to let me die in the Netherworld to save her soul. There was nothing he wouldnt do for her. To be with her.
Even beyond the grave.
I sighed and rubbed both hands over my face. Okay, so how does this work? You blink into the Netherworld and he lets you see Addison for an hour, then hands you a balloon bouquet on your way out?
Tods brows rose in bitter amusement. Do I look like a party clown? Its just a canvas duffel bag with a padlock through the zipper. I could have broken it, or cut the bag open, but honestly, considering what Addy and I have to lose, it didnt seem smart to stick my nose into Netherworld business.
I hate to tell you this, Tod, but youre already up to your eyebrows in it. And thanks to you and Nash, so are Doug, and Scott, and Emma, and me. Not to mention whoever else Doug might have introduced to frost. I couldnt help marveling at the irony of both Hudson brothers playing separate,secret parts in whatever Avari was up to.
He leaned back in his chair and exhaled heavily. Avaris going to be pissed when he finds out Im out of the drug-trafficking business, and hell probably take it out on Addison. But the more immediate problem is Nash. If we dont get him out before I refuse the next shipment, well probably never have another shot.
Alec says our best chance is tomorrow night. Theyre having some kind of big party And I couldnt help wondering what there was to celebrate in the Netherworld.
The reaper nodded, pale curls bobbing. Yeah, Ive seen them setting up for it. Creepy.
and he thinks he can get to Nash during the commotion. Hes gonna call me back in about half an hour I glanced at my watch make that twenty minutes, to make plans. I stood, and Tod stood with me, and we headed for the hall by unspoken agreement.
There are no cell phone towers in the Netherworld, he whispered. Hows Alec going to call you?
I swallowed the horror and disgust my answer brought with it as I pushed open the double doors. Through Emma.
Confusion narrowed Tods eyes, then sudden comprehension flowed in, chased by a wave of obvious repulsion. Hes using her as an intermediary? Thats what you meant by possession? he hissed, without bothering to check the cold, sterile hall for humans.
I nodded. Its awful. She still looks like herself, but she sounds like someone else, and she doesnt move, or sit, or laugh like Emma. Shes being worn. Its creepy.
Yeah. Tods scowl deepened as he walked, and I rushed to keep up with him. Ive only seen the show once, but it was one of the ugliest things Ive ever seen. Which surely meant something coming from a reaper. And its hard on the host, because he subconsciously fights the invasion. It can leave you exhausted for days afterward.
Tell me about it. No wonder I was so tired all the time. In addition to giving up sleep to avoid waking up in the Netherworld, Id had my body invaded by an uninvited visitor twice in the past week.
Tod stopped abruptly and his gaze narrowed on me. What does that mean?
I sighed and cradled my bandaged arm. Avaris been using me to communicate with Nash. I didnt realize it until I saw it happen to Emma, but Im sure thats whats been happening. I shuddered at the sudden clear understanding that Id been used, both physically and emotionally. That Avari had been in my body, without my knowledge or permission. Could there be a more horrifying, revolting violation?
I hope its worth it, whatever hes giving you, I spat as softly as I could. I hope its worth the three lives youve ruined. Four, if you counted Emmas, and five if you counted mine, because there was no guarantee Id walk away from the Netherworld alive this time. Or at all.
Tod flinched, but didnt break eye contact. Its Addison, he said, his voice so low and heavy I wasnt sure Id heard it at all. I traded my service as a courier for an hour a day with Addy.
Huh?
Tod, Addisons dead.
He nodded slowly. Her body is. But her soul is alive and not so well in the Netherworld, and the only way I can help her is to give her an hour a day free from torture and humiliation. To keep her sane. It seemed like the least I could do, considering I failed to get her soul back before she died. Tods jaw tightened, and he held my gaze, steadily. Unashamed. Yet I saw the flicker of pain and determination in his eyes.
I felt my heart splinter and thought for a moment that I could actually hear the cracks. How was I supposed to stay mad at him now? Tod had been ruining lives with his own postmodern, interdimensional version of chivalry.
Will all the real men please stand up?
I swear I didnt know what I was carrying.
I wanted to ask if that would have mattered. If hed known what he was really agreeing to, would he have considered five ruined livesand potentially countless moreworth an hour of comfort a day for Addison? But I didnt ask, because I already knew that where Addy was concerned, Tod had no limits. Hed been willing to let me die in the Netherworld to save her soul. There was nothing he wouldnt do for her. To be with her.
Even beyond the grave.
I sighed and rubbed both hands over my face. Okay, so how does this work? You blink into the Netherworld and he lets you see Addison for an hour, then hands you a balloon bouquet on your way out?
Tods brows rose in bitter amusement. Do I look like a party clown? Its just a canvas duffel bag with a padlock through the zipper. I could have broken it, or cut the bag open, but honestly, considering what Addy and I have to lose, it didnt seem smart to stick my nose into Netherworld business.
I hate to tell you this, Tod, but youre already up to your eyebrows in it. And thanks to you and Nash, so are Doug, and Scott, and Emma, and me. Not to mention whoever else Doug might have introduced to frost. I couldnt help marveling at the irony of both Hudson brothers playing separate,secret parts in whatever Avari was up to.
He leaned back in his chair and exhaled heavily. Avaris going to be pissed when he finds out Im out of the drug-trafficking business, and hell probably take it out on Addison. But the more immediate problem is Nash. If we dont get him out before I refuse the next shipment, well probably never have another shot.
Alec says our best chance is tomorrow night. Theyre having some kind of big party And I couldnt help wondering what there was to celebrate in the Netherworld.
The reaper nodded, pale curls bobbing. Yeah, Ive seen them setting up for it. Creepy.
and he thinks he can get to Nash during the commotion. Hes gonna call me back in about half an hour I glanced at my watch make that twenty minutes, to make plans. I stood, and Tod stood with me, and we headed for the hall by unspoken agreement.
There are no cell phone towers in the Netherworld, he whispered. Hows Alec going to call you?
I swallowed the horror and disgust my answer brought with it as I pushed open the double doors. Through Emma.
Confusion narrowed Tods eyes, then sudden comprehension flowed in, chased by a wave of obvious repulsion. Hes using her as an intermediary? Thats what you meant by possession? he hissed, without bothering to check the cold, sterile hall for humans.
I nodded. Its awful. She still looks like herself, but she sounds like someone else, and she doesnt move, or sit, or laugh like Emma. Shes being worn. Its creepy.
Yeah. Tods scowl deepened as he walked, and I rushed to keep up with him. Ive only seen the show once, but it was one of the ugliest things Ive ever seen. Which surely meant something coming from a reaper. And its hard on the host, because he subconsciously fights the invasion. It can leave you exhausted for days afterward.
Tell me about it. No wonder I was so tired all the time. In addition to giving up sleep to avoid waking up in the Netherworld, Id had my body invaded by an uninvited visitor twice in the past week.
Tod stopped abruptly and his gaze narrowed on me. What does that mean?
I sighed and cradled my bandaged arm. Avaris been using me to communicate with Nash. I didnt realize it until I saw it happen to Emma, but Im sure thats whats been happening. I shuddered at the sudden clear understanding that Id been used, both physically and emotionally. That Avari had been in my body, without my knowledge or permission. Could there be a more horrifying, revolting violation?
