My Soul to Save
Page 39
In the passenger seat of my own car, as a late-night mist still sprayed my windshield, I called up the memory of Emmas death, forcing myself to relive it one more time. I told myself I was doing a good thing. Trying to save the soul of a thirteen-year-old girl who had no idea what she was getting herself into, rather than simply exploring my own abilities.
It didnt help.
Summoning my own wail was still one of the most difficult things Id ever had to do, probably because I didnt really want to remember how Emma had looked when shed died. How her face had gone blank, her eyes staring up at the gym ceiling as if she could see straight through it and into the heavens. Though, she actually saw nothing at all.
That did it. The wail began deep in my chest, fighting to break free from my throat, but I held it back. Swallowed most of it, as Harmony had taught me. What came out was a soft, high-pitched keening, which buzzed in my ears and seemed to resonate in my fillings. And finally a thin gray haze formed over everything, in spite of the fact that there was very little light to filter through it. To reflect off of it.
Since I was just peeking into the Netherworld, rather than going there, my vision seemed to split as one reality layered itself over the other. It was a bit like watching a 3-D movie without the proper cardboard glasses. The images didnt quite line up.
And the Netherworldrather than being lit by what paltry moonlight shone in the human planewas illuminated by a ubiquitous white glow from above, similar to the way the lights of a city in the distance reflect off low-lying clouds in the dark. This light was indistinct and somehow cold, and seemed to blur the world before me, rather than to truly lighten it.
However that was par for the course, at least as far as I could tell. Id never been able to see very far in the Netherworld, which gave me the impression that if I took one step too many, Id fall into some huge, gaping pit, or step off the edge of the world. That thought, and the cool, hazy light, made me want to step very carefully. Or to close my eyes and shake my head until the Netherworld disappeared altogether.
But I resisted the urge to deny the Netherworld, though every survival instinct I had groaned within me. Id never find Regan and Addy in time if I didnt look in both worlds.
What do you see? Nash asked. Because he could hear my keening, he would have been able to see into the Netherworld with me, if hed wanted. But someone had to drive.
I couldnt answer himnot while I was holding back my wail. So I shrugged, and squinted into the distance, turning slowly in my seat. At first there was nothing but the usual gray fog, paler toward the sky, and the eerie impression of movement just outside my field of vision.
As Harmony had explained, human private residences didnt exist in the Netherworld, so when I peeked into it, Addys neighborhood was suddenly overlaid with a second, similar series ofgravel streets and walkways, which ended in nothing. And some darkly intuitive part of my mind insisted that the gravel was really crushed bone. Though, from what sort of creature I couldnt begin to imagine.
I wondered what Id see if I were actually in the Netherworld. What would the homes look like? Could I go in one? Would I want to?
Well? The urgency in Nashs voice reminded me of the ticking clock. I squinted into the fog again and this time made out a series of darker-than-normal shapes in the ever-present gray spliced into our world. Shapes that werent moving. Or at least, werent moving away.
I pointed to my right, and was surprised when my hand smashed into the glass of my own window. Though I still sat bodily in the human world, my senses were so intensely focused on that other world that Id become oblivious to my physical surroundings. The car didnt exist in the Netherworld, where I seemed to float over the road alone, in an invisible chair.
Weird.
Nash turned the wheel in the direction Id pointed, and vertigo washed over me as I moved along with a vehicle I could only see and feel on one plane. In one reality.
Double weird. Evidently I get carsick in the Nether-reality.
As we drew closer, the shapes became a little more distinct. Two tall forms, and one small. Small, like a little girl. A young teenager, maybe.
Crap. Regan had already crossed over.
A little more of my wail slipped out, and I was surprised all over again when the echo of my voice bounced around in the car, rather than rolling out to points unknown. Nash followed my finger, and I had to slap a hand over my mouth to keep from vomiting when the car tilted up suddenly, and he slammed my gearshift into Park. We were in a sharply sloping driveway, only feet from those three dark figures now.
The drivers side door opened, and cold air swirled around me. A moment later, my door opened, and Nash helped me out of the car by one arm. Icy mist settled on me, rendering me instantly damp and cold, and distantly I wished Id worn a jacket.
Nashs lips brushed my ear. Let it go His words slid over me like warm satin gliding over my skin. I felt myself relax, even as the largest of those gray figures turned to walk away. Were here now, so just let it go.
I let the wail fade, and the grayness melted from my vision, leaving me with a scratchy throat and haunting images lingering behind my eyes. And a crystal-clear view of a large brick house with a stone facade around a bright red front door, illuminated by a series of floodlights.
Parked on the street in front of the house was a plain black limousineif a limo can ever be considered plainwith the engine still running, the driver half asleep behind the wheel. That would have been a remarkable sight on my street, but in Addys neighborhood, it was probably commonplace.
It didnt help.
Summoning my own wail was still one of the most difficult things Id ever had to do, probably because I didnt really want to remember how Emma had looked when shed died. How her face had gone blank, her eyes staring up at the gym ceiling as if she could see straight through it and into the heavens. Though, she actually saw nothing at all.
That did it. The wail began deep in my chest, fighting to break free from my throat, but I held it back. Swallowed most of it, as Harmony had taught me. What came out was a soft, high-pitched keening, which buzzed in my ears and seemed to resonate in my fillings. And finally a thin gray haze formed over everything, in spite of the fact that there was very little light to filter through it. To reflect off of it.
Since I was just peeking into the Netherworld, rather than going there, my vision seemed to split as one reality layered itself over the other. It was a bit like watching a 3-D movie without the proper cardboard glasses. The images didnt quite line up.
And the Netherworldrather than being lit by what paltry moonlight shone in the human planewas illuminated by a ubiquitous white glow from above, similar to the way the lights of a city in the distance reflect off low-lying clouds in the dark. This light was indistinct and somehow cold, and seemed to blur the world before me, rather than to truly lighten it.
However that was par for the course, at least as far as I could tell. Id never been able to see very far in the Netherworld, which gave me the impression that if I took one step too many, Id fall into some huge, gaping pit, or step off the edge of the world. That thought, and the cool, hazy light, made me want to step very carefully. Or to close my eyes and shake my head until the Netherworld disappeared altogether.
But I resisted the urge to deny the Netherworld, though every survival instinct I had groaned within me. Id never find Regan and Addy in time if I didnt look in both worlds.
What do you see? Nash asked. Because he could hear my keening, he would have been able to see into the Netherworld with me, if hed wanted. But someone had to drive.
I couldnt answer himnot while I was holding back my wail. So I shrugged, and squinted into the distance, turning slowly in my seat. At first there was nothing but the usual gray fog, paler toward the sky, and the eerie impression of movement just outside my field of vision.
As Harmony had explained, human private residences didnt exist in the Netherworld, so when I peeked into it, Addys neighborhood was suddenly overlaid with a second, similar series ofgravel streets and walkways, which ended in nothing. And some darkly intuitive part of my mind insisted that the gravel was really crushed bone. Though, from what sort of creature I couldnt begin to imagine.
I wondered what Id see if I were actually in the Netherworld. What would the homes look like? Could I go in one? Would I want to?
Well? The urgency in Nashs voice reminded me of the ticking clock. I squinted into the fog again and this time made out a series of darker-than-normal shapes in the ever-present gray spliced into our world. Shapes that werent moving. Or at least, werent moving away.
I pointed to my right, and was surprised when my hand smashed into the glass of my own window. Though I still sat bodily in the human world, my senses were so intensely focused on that other world that Id become oblivious to my physical surroundings. The car didnt exist in the Netherworld, where I seemed to float over the road alone, in an invisible chair.
Weird.
Nash turned the wheel in the direction Id pointed, and vertigo washed over me as I moved along with a vehicle I could only see and feel on one plane. In one reality.
Double weird. Evidently I get carsick in the Nether-reality.
As we drew closer, the shapes became a little more distinct. Two tall forms, and one small. Small, like a little girl. A young teenager, maybe.
Crap. Regan had already crossed over.
A little more of my wail slipped out, and I was surprised all over again when the echo of my voice bounced around in the car, rather than rolling out to points unknown. Nash followed my finger, and I had to slap a hand over my mouth to keep from vomiting when the car tilted up suddenly, and he slammed my gearshift into Park. We were in a sharply sloping driveway, only feet from those three dark figures now.
The drivers side door opened, and cold air swirled around me. A moment later, my door opened, and Nash helped me out of the car by one arm. Icy mist settled on me, rendering me instantly damp and cold, and distantly I wished Id worn a jacket.
Nashs lips brushed my ear. Let it go His words slid over me like warm satin gliding over my skin. I felt myself relax, even as the largest of those gray figures turned to walk away. Were here now, so just let it go.
I let the wail fade, and the grayness melted from my vision, leaving me with a scratchy throat and haunting images lingering behind my eyes. And a crystal-clear view of a large brick house with a stone facade around a bright red front door, illuminated by a series of floodlights.
Parked on the street in front of the house was a plain black limousineif a limo can ever be considered plainwith the engine still running, the driver half asleep behind the wheel. That would have been a remarkable sight on my street, but in Addys neighborhood, it was probably commonplace.
