My Soul to Take
Page 11
It took me a moment to understand that none of that was directed at me. That he wasnt angry and embarrassed to be seen out with the school psycho. Probably because no one else knew. No one but Sophie, and her parents had threatened her with social ostracismtotal house arrestif she ever let the family secret out of the proverbial bag.
How long? Nash asked, his gaze boring into mine so deeply I wondered if he could see right through my eyes and into my brain.
I sighed and picked at the label on a small bottle of sugar-free syrup. After a week, I said all the right things, and my uncle took me out against doctors orders. They told the school I had the flu. I was a sophomore then, and nearly a year away from meeting Nash, when Emma started dating a series of his teammates.
Nash closed his eyes and exhaled heavily. That never should have happened. Youre not crazy. Last night proves that.
I nodded, numb. If Id misread him, Id never be able to walk tall in my own school again. But I couldnt even work up any irritation over that possibility at the moment. Not with my secrets exposed, my heart laid open and latent terror lurking in the drug-hazy memories Id hoped to bury.
You have to tell them again, and
No.
But he continued, as if Id never spoken. if they dont believe you, call your dad.
No, Nash.
Before he could argue again, a smooth, pale arm appeared across my field of vision, and the waitress set a plate on the table in front of me, and one in front of him. I hadnt even heard her approach that time, and based on Nashs wide eyes, he hadnt either.
Okay, you kids dig in. And let me know if I can get you somethin else, kay?
We both nodded as she walked off. But I could only cut my pancakes into neat triangles and push them around in the syrup. I had no appetite. Even Nash only picked at his food.
Finally, he put his fork down and cleared his throat until I looked up. Im not going to talk you into this, am I?
I shook my head. He frowned, then sighed and worked up a small smile. How do you feel about geese?
AFTER A BREAKFAST I didnt eat, and Nash didnt enjoy, we stopped at a sandwich shop, where he bought a bag of day-old bread. Then we headed to White Rock Lake to feed a honking, pecking flock of geese, a couple of which were gutsy little demons. One snatched a piece of bread right out of my hand, nearly taking my finger with it, and another nipped Nashs shoe when he didnt pull food from the bag fast enough.
When the bread was gone, we escaped from the geesebarelyfor a walk around the lake. The wind whipped my hair into knots and I tripped over a loose board in the pier, but when Nash took my hand, I let him keep it, and the silence betweenus was comfortable. How could it not be, when hed now seen every shadow in my soul and every corner in my mind, and hadnt once called me crazyor tried to feel me up.
And why not? I wondered, sneaking a glimpse at his profile as he squinted at the sun across the lake. Was I not pretty enough?
No, I didnt want to be the latest on his rumored list of conquests, but I wouldnt mind knowing I was worthy.
Nash smiled when he noticed me watching him. His eyes were more green than brown in the sunlight, and they seemed to be churning softly, probably reflecting the motion of the water. Kaylee, can I ask you something personal?
Like death and mental illness werent personal?
Only if I get to ask you something.
He seemed to consider that for a moment, then grinned, flashing a single deep dimple, and squeezed my hand as we walked. You first.
Did you sleep with Laura Bell?
Nash pulled me to an abrupt halt and arched both brows dramatically over long, beautiful boy-lashes. Thats not fair. I didnt ask you who youve been with.
I shrugged, enjoying his discomfort. Ask away. I wouldnt even need any fingers to tick off my list.
He scowled; he obviously had another question in mind. If I say yes, are you going to get mad?
I shrugged. Its none of my business.
Then why do you care?
Grrr Okay, new question. I tugged him into step again, working up the nerve to ask something I wasnt sure I really wanted the answer to. But I had to know, before things went any further. What are you doing here? I held our joined hands up for emphasis. Whats in this for you?
Your trust, hopefully.
My head spun just a little bit at that, and I stifled a dazed grin. Thats it? I blinked up at him as we stepped onto the pier. Even if that was true, that couldnt be all of it. I donned a mock frown. You sure youre not trying to get laid?
His grin that time was real as he pulled me close and pressed me gently against the old wooden railing, his lips inches from my nose. You offering?
My heart raced and I let my hands linger on his back, tracing the hard planes through his long-sleeved tee. Feeling him pressed against me. Smelling him up close. Considering, just for a single, pulse-tripping moment
Then I landed back on earth with a fantasy-shattering thud.
The last thing I needed was to be listed among Nash Hudsons past castoffs. But before I could figure out how to say that without pissing him off or sounding like a total prude, his eyes flashed with amusement and he leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose.
How long? Nash asked, his gaze boring into mine so deeply I wondered if he could see right through my eyes and into my brain.
I sighed and picked at the label on a small bottle of sugar-free syrup. After a week, I said all the right things, and my uncle took me out against doctors orders. They told the school I had the flu. I was a sophomore then, and nearly a year away from meeting Nash, when Emma started dating a series of his teammates.
Nash closed his eyes and exhaled heavily. That never should have happened. Youre not crazy. Last night proves that.
I nodded, numb. If Id misread him, Id never be able to walk tall in my own school again. But I couldnt even work up any irritation over that possibility at the moment. Not with my secrets exposed, my heart laid open and latent terror lurking in the drug-hazy memories Id hoped to bury.
You have to tell them again, and
No.
But he continued, as if Id never spoken. if they dont believe you, call your dad.
No, Nash.
Before he could argue again, a smooth, pale arm appeared across my field of vision, and the waitress set a plate on the table in front of me, and one in front of him. I hadnt even heard her approach that time, and based on Nashs wide eyes, he hadnt either.
Okay, you kids dig in. And let me know if I can get you somethin else, kay?
We both nodded as she walked off. But I could only cut my pancakes into neat triangles and push them around in the syrup. I had no appetite. Even Nash only picked at his food.
Finally, he put his fork down and cleared his throat until I looked up. Im not going to talk you into this, am I?
I shook my head. He frowned, then sighed and worked up a small smile. How do you feel about geese?
AFTER A BREAKFAST I didnt eat, and Nash didnt enjoy, we stopped at a sandwich shop, where he bought a bag of day-old bread. Then we headed to White Rock Lake to feed a honking, pecking flock of geese, a couple of which were gutsy little demons. One snatched a piece of bread right out of my hand, nearly taking my finger with it, and another nipped Nashs shoe when he didnt pull food from the bag fast enough.
When the bread was gone, we escaped from the geesebarelyfor a walk around the lake. The wind whipped my hair into knots and I tripped over a loose board in the pier, but when Nash took my hand, I let him keep it, and the silence betweenus was comfortable. How could it not be, when hed now seen every shadow in my soul and every corner in my mind, and hadnt once called me crazyor tried to feel me up.
And why not? I wondered, sneaking a glimpse at his profile as he squinted at the sun across the lake. Was I not pretty enough?
No, I didnt want to be the latest on his rumored list of conquests, but I wouldnt mind knowing I was worthy.
Nash smiled when he noticed me watching him. His eyes were more green than brown in the sunlight, and they seemed to be churning softly, probably reflecting the motion of the water. Kaylee, can I ask you something personal?
Like death and mental illness werent personal?
Only if I get to ask you something.
He seemed to consider that for a moment, then grinned, flashing a single deep dimple, and squeezed my hand as we walked. You first.
Did you sleep with Laura Bell?
Nash pulled me to an abrupt halt and arched both brows dramatically over long, beautiful boy-lashes. Thats not fair. I didnt ask you who youve been with.
I shrugged, enjoying his discomfort. Ask away. I wouldnt even need any fingers to tick off my list.
He scowled; he obviously had another question in mind. If I say yes, are you going to get mad?
I shrugged. Its none of my business.
Then why do you care?
Grrr Okay, new question. I tugged him into step again, working up the nerve to ask something I wasnt sure I really wanted the answer to. But I had to know, before things went any further. What are you doing here? I held our joined hands up for emphasis. Whats in this for you?
Your trust, hopefully.
My head spun just a little bit at that, and I stifled a dazed grin. Thats it? I blinked up at him as we stepped onto the pier. Even if that was true, that couldnt be all of it. I donned a mock frown. You sure youre not trying to get laid?
His grin that time was real as he pulled me close and pressed me gently against the old wooden railing, his lips inches from my nose. You offering?
My heart raced and I let my hands linger on his back, tracing the hard planes through his long-sleeved tee. Feeling him pressed against me. Smelling him up close. Considering, just for a single, pulse-tripping moment
Then I landed back on earth with a fantasy-shattering thud.
The last thing I needed was to be listed among Nash Hudsons past castoffs. But before I could figure out how to say that without pissing him off or sounding like a total prude, his eyes flashed with amusement and he leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose.
