My Soul to Take
Page 23
Did you see it? she asked, full lower lip quivering, and for once absent of lip gloss. She must have wiped it all off, along with the tears and most of her makeup. She looked almostnormal. And I couldnt help the pang of sympathy her misery drew from me, in spite of the bitch-itude she radiated every other day of my life. For now, she was just scared, confused, and hurting, looking for a compassionate ear.
Just like me.
And it kind of stung that I couldnt totally let my guard down with her, because I had no doubt that once her grief had passed, Sophie would go all Mean Girls on me again, and use against me whatever Id shown her. See what? I sighed, adjusting the rearview mirror so I could watch her indirectly.
My cousin rolled her eyes, and for a moment her usual intolerance peeked through the fresh layer of raw sorrow. Meredith. Did you see what happened?
I turned the key in the ignition, and my little Sunfire hummed to life, the steering wheel vibrating beneath my hands. No. I felt no great loss over having missed the show; the preview was quite enough to deal with.
It was horrible. She stared straight out the windshield as I buckled my seat belt and pulled the car from the parking lot, but she obviously saw nothing. We were dancing, just showing off for Scott and the guys. Wed made it through all the hard parts, including that step where Laura usually skips a beat in practice.
I had no idea what step she was talking about, but I let her ramble on, because it seemed to make her feel better without putting me on the figurative chopping block.
and were nearly done. Then Meredith justcollapsed. She crumpled up like a doll and fell flat on the ground.
My hands clenched the steering wheel, and I had to force them loose to flick on my blinker. I turned right at the stop-light, exhaling only once the schooland thus the source of my latest premonitionwas out of sight. And still Sophie prattled on, airing her grief in the name of therapy, completely oblivious to my discomfort.
I thought shed passed out. She doesnt eat enough to keep a hamster alive, you know.
I hadnt known, of course. I didnt typically concern myself with the eating habits of the varsity dance squad. But if Merediths appetite was anything like my cousinsor my aunts, for that matterSophies assumption was perfectly plausible.
But then we realized she wasnt moving. She wasnt even breathing. Sophie paused for a moment, and I treasured the silence like that first gulp of air after a deep dive. I didnt want to hear any more about the death Id been unable to prevent. I felt guilty enough already. But she wasnt done. Peyton thinks she had a heart attack. Mrs. Rushing told us in health lastyear that if you work your body too hard and dont fuel it up right, your heart will eventually stop working. Just like that. She snapped her fingers, and the glitter in her nail polish flashed in the bright sunlight. Do you think thats what happened?
It took me a moment to realize her question wasnt rhetorical. She was actually asking my opinion about something, and there was no sarcasm involved.
I dont know. I glanced in the rearview mirror as I turned onto our street, and wasnt surprised to see Aunt Vals car on the road behind us. Maybe. But that was an outright lie. Meredith Cole was the third teenage girl to drop dead with no warning in the past three days, and while I wasnt about to voice my suspicions out loudat least not yetI could no longer tell myself the deaths werent connected.
Nashs coincidence theory had hit an iceberg and was sinking fast.
I parked in the driveway, and Aunt Val drove past us into her spot in the garage. Sophie was out of the car before Id even turned the engine off, and the minute she saw her mother, she burst into tears again, as if her inner floodgates couldnt withstand the assault of sympathetic eyes and a shoulder to cry on.
Aunt Val ushered her sobbing daughter through the garage and into the kitchen, then guided her gently to a stool at the bar. I came behind them both, carrying Sophies purse, and punched the button to close the garage bay door. Inside, I dropped my cousins handbag on the counter while Sophie sniffed, and blubbered, and hiccupped, spitting out half-coherent details as she wiped first her cheeks, then her already reddened nose with a tissue from the box on the counter.
But Aunt Val didnt seem very interested in the specifics, which shed probably already heard from the dance-team sponsor. While I sat at the table with a can of Coke and a wish for silence, she bustled around the kitchen making hot tea and wiping down countertops, and only once shed run out of things to do did she settle onto the stool next to her daughter. Aunt Val made Sophie drink her tea slowly, until the sobs slowed and the hiccupping stopped. But even then Sophie wouldnt stop talking.
Merediths death was the first spear of tragedy to pierce my cousins fairy tale of a world, and she had no idea how to deal with it. When she was still sobbing and dripping snot into her lukewarm tea twenty minutes later, Aunt Val disappeared into the bathroom. She came back carrying a small brown pill bottle I recognized immediately: leftover zombie pills from my last visit with Dr. Nelson, from the mental-health unit.
I twisted in my chair and arched my brows at my aunt, but she only smiled half regretfully, then shrugged. It will calm her down and help her sleep. She needs to rest.
Just like me.
And it kind of stung that I couldnt totally let my guard down with her, because I had no doubt that once her grief had passed, Sophie would go all Mean Girls on me again, and use against me whatever Id shown her. See what? I sighed, adjusting the rearview mirror so I could watch her indirectly.
My cousin rolled her eyes, and for a moment her usual intolerance peeked through the fresh layer of raw sorrow. Meredith. Did you see what happened?
I turned the key in the ignition, and my little Sunfire hummed to life, the steering wheel vibrating beneath my hands. No. I felt no great loss over having missed the show; the preview was quite enough to deal with.
It was horrible. She stared straight out the windshield as I buckled my seat belt and pulled the car from the parking lot, but she obviously saw nothing. We were dancing, just showing off for Scott and the guys. Wed made it through all the hard parts, including that step where Laura usually skips a beat in practice.
I had no idea what step she was talking about, but I let her ramble on, because it seemed to make her feel better without putting me on the figurative chopping block.
and were nearly done. Then Meredith justcollapsed. She crumpled up like a doll and fell flat on the ground.
My hands clenched the steering wheel, and I had to force them loose to flick on my blinker. I turned right at the stop-light, exhaling only once the schooland thus the source of my latest premonitionwas out of sight. And still Sophie prattled on, airing her grief in the name of therapy, completely oblivious to my discomfort.
I thought shed passed out. She doesnt eat enough to keep a hamster alive, you know.
I hadnt known, of course. I didnt typically concern myself with the eating habits of the varsity dance squad. But if Merediths appetite was anything like my cousinsor my aunts, for that matterSophies assumption was perfectly plausible.
But then we realized she wasnt moving. She wasnt even breathing. Sophie paused for a moment, and I treasured the silence like that first gulp of air after a deep dive. I didnt want to hear any more about the death Id been unable to prevent. I felt guilty enough already. But she wasnt done. Peyton thinks she had a heart attack. Mrs. Rushing told us in health lastyear that if you work your body too hard and dont fuel it up right, your heart will eventually stop working. Just like that. She snapped her fingers, and the glitter in her nail polish flashed in the bright sunlight. Do you think thats what happened?
It took me a moment to realize her question wasnt rhetorical. She was actually asking my opinion about something, and there was no sarcasm involved.
I dont know. I glanced in the rearview mirror as I turned onto our street, and wasnt surprised to see Aunt Vals car on the road behind us. Maybe. But that was an outright lie. Meredith Cole was the third teenage girl to drop dead with no warning in the past three days, and while I wasnt about to voice my suspicions out loudat least not yetI could no longer tell myself the deaths werent connected.
Nashs coincidence theory had hit an iceberg and was sinking fast.
I parked in the driveway, and Aunt Val drove past us into her spot in the garage. Sophie was out of the car before Id even turned the engine off, and the minute she saw her mother, she burst into tears again, as if her inner floodgates couldnt withstand the assault of sympathetic eyes and a shoulder to cry on.
Aunt Val ushered her sobbing daughter through the garage and into the kitchen, then guided her gently to a stool at the bar. I came behind them both, carrying Sophies purse, and punched the button to close the garage bay door. Inside, I dropped my cousins handbag on the counter while Sophie sniffed, and blubbered, and hiccupped, spitting out half-coherent details as she wiped first her cheeks, then her already reddened nose with a tissue from the box on the counter.
But Aunt Val didnt seem very interested in the specifics, which shed probably already heard from the dance-team sponsor. While I sat at the table with a can of Coke and a wish for silence, she bustled around the kitchen making hot tea and wiping down countertops, and only once shed run out of things to do did she settle onto the stool next to her daughter. Aunt Val made Sophie drink her tea slowly, until the sobs slowed and the hiccupping stopped. But even then Sophie wouldnt stop talking.
Merediths death was the first spear of tragedy to pierce my cousins fairy tale of a world, and she had no idea how to deal with it. When she was still sobbing and dripping snot into her lukewarm tea twenty minutes later, Aunt Val disappeared into the bathroom. She came back carrying a small brown pill bottle I recognized immediately: leftover zombie pills from my last visit with Dr. Nelson, from the mental-health unit.
I twisted in my chair and arched my brows at my aunt, but she only smiled half regretfully, then shrugged. It will calm her down and help her sleep. She needs to rest.
