My Soul to Take
Page 71
But it wasnt going to blow over, and I couldnt be the only one who knew that.
Uncle Brendon stood and picked up his mug. His every movement spoke of exhaustion and dread. Im going to check on my wife. Val got the guest room ready for you this morning. If you need anything else, just ask Kaylee.
Thanks. When Uncle Brendons bedroom door closed, my father stood and faced Nash, obviously expecting him to stand too. Nash, I cant tell you how grateful I am for how youve helped my daughter.
Still stubbornly seated, Nash shook his head. I couldnt have done anything without her there to hold the soul.
I mean what you did for Kaylee. Brendon says your dose of truth probably saved her from a serious breakdown. He held his hand out, and Nash floundered for one awkward moment, then stood and accepted it.
Dad I started, but he shook his head.
I messed up, and Nash picked up the slack. He deserves to be thanked. He shook Nashs hand firmly, then let go and stepped back, clearing an obvious path to the front door.
I rolled my eyes at his less-than-subtle hint. I agree. But Nash is staying. He knows more about this than I do anyway. I slipped my hand into his and stood as close to him as I could get.
To my surprise, though he looked irritated, my father didnt argue. His gaze shifted from me to Nash, then back to me, and he simply nodded, evidently resigned. Fine. If you trust him, so do I. He backed slowly toward his chair and sat facing us. Then he inhaled deeply and met my steady gaze. I was ready to hear whatever he had to say.
But the real question was whether or not he was ready to say it.
I know this all should have come out years ago, he began. But the truth is that every time I decided it was time to tell you about your motherabout yourselfI couldnt do it. You look so much like her.
His voice cracked, and he glanced down, and when he looked at me again, his eyes were shiny with unshed tears.
You look so much like her that every time I see you, my heart jumps for joy, then breaks all over again. Maybe it would have been easier if Id kept you with me. If Id seen you every day and watched you develop into your own person. But as it is, I look at you and I see her, and its so damn hard
Nash squirmed, and I stared at my hands as my father looked around the living room, avoiding our eyes until he had himself under control. Then he sighed and swiped one arm across his eyes, blotting tears on a sweater too thick to be truly necessary in September.
Crap. He was actually crying. I didnt know how to deal with a crying father. I barely knew how to deal with a normal one.
Um, anyone else hungry? I didnt get anysupper.
I could eat, Nash said, and I was sure hed picked up on my need to break the tension.
Or maybe he was just hungry.
Is macaroni and cheese okay? I asked, already halfway out of the room by the time he nodded. Nash and my dad followed me through the dining room and into the kitchen, where I knelt to dig a bag of elbow pasta from the back of a bottom cabinet.
Id thought I was ready. That I could deal with whatever he had to say. But the truth was that I couldnt just sit there and watch my father cry. I needed something to keep my hands busy while my heart broke.
You can cook? My father eyed me in surprise as I pulled a pot from another cabinet, and a block of Velveeta from my uncles shelf in the fridge.
Its just pasta. Uncle Brendon taught me. Hed also taught me to hide the occasional bag of chocolate behind his stash of pork rinds, which Aunt Val would never touch, even to throw away in a frenzied junk food purge.
My father sat on one of the bar stools, still watching as I turned the burner on and sprinkled salt into the water. Nash settled on a stool two down from him and crossed his arms on the countertop.
So what do you want to know first? My dad met my gaze over the cheese I was unwrapping on a cutting board.
I shrugged and pulled a knife from a drawer on my left. I think I have a pretty good handle on the whole bean sidhe thing, thanks to Nash. My father cringed, and I might have felt guilty if hed ever made any attempt to explain things himself. But why did Aunt Val say I was living on borrowed time? What does that mean?
This time he flinched like Id slapped him. Hed obviously been expecting something elseprobably a technical question from the How to Be a Bean Sidhe handbook, my copy of which had probably gotten lost in the mail.
My father sighed and suddenly looked very tired. Thats a long story, Kaylee, and one Id rather tell in private.
No. I shook my head firmly and ripped open the bag of pasta. You flew halfway around the world because you owe me an explanation. Not to mention an apology. I want to hear it now.
My fathers brow rose in surprise, and more than a hint of irritation. Then he frowned. You sound just like your mother.
Yeah, well, I had to inherit a backbone from someone. Wouldnt she want you to tell me whatever it is you have to say?
He couldnt have looked more shocked if Id punched him. I honestly dont know. But youre right. Youre entitled to all the facts. He closed his eyes briefly, as if gathering his thoughts.
It all started the night you died.
Uncle Brendon stood and picked up his mug. His every movement spoke of exhaustion and dread. Im going to check on my wife. Val got the guest room ready for you this morning. If you need anything else, just ask Kaylee.
Thanks. When Uncle Brendons bedroom door closed, my father stood and faced Nash, obviously expecting him to stand too. Nash, I cant tell you how grateful I am for how youve helped my daughter.
Still stubbornly seated, Nash shook his head. I couldnt have done anything without her there to hold the soul.
I mean what you did for Kaylee. Brendon says your dose of truth probably saved her from a serious breakdown. He held his hand out, and Nash floundered for one awkward moment, then stood and accepted it.
Dad I started, but he shook his head.
I messed up, and Nash picked up the slack. He deserves to be thanked. He shook Nashs hand firmly, then let go and stepped back, clearing an obvious path to the front door.
I rolled my eyes at his less-than-subtle hint. I agree. But Nash is staying. He knows more about this than I do anyway. I slipped my hand into his and stood as close to him as I could get.
To my surprise, though he looked irritated, my father didnt argue. His gaze shifted from me to Nash, then back to me, and he simply nodded, evidently resigned. Fine. If you trust him, so do I. He backed slowly toward his chair and sat facing us. Then he inhaled deeply and met my steady gaze. I was ready to hear whatever he had to say.
But the real question was whether or not he was ready to say it.
I know this all should have come out years ago, he began. But the truth is that every time I decided it was time to tell you about your motherabout yourselfI couldnt do it. You look so much like her.
His voice cracked, and he glanced down, and when he looked at me again, his eyes were shiny with unshed tears.
You look so much like her that every time I see you, my heart jumps for joy, then breaks all over again. Maybe it would have been easier if Id kept you with me. If Id seen you every day and watched you develop into your own person. But as it is, I look at you and I see her, and its so damn hard
Nash squirmed, and I stared at my hands as my father looked around the living room, avoiding our eyes until he had himself under control. Then he sighed and swiped one arm across his eyes, blotting tears on a sweater too thick to be truly necessary in September.
Crap. He was actually crying. I didnt know how to deal with a crying father. I barely knew how to deal with a normal one.
Um, anyone else hungry? I didnt get anysupper.
I could eat, Nash said, and I was sure hed picked up on my need to break the tension.
Or maybe he was just hungry.
Is macaroni and cheese okay? I asked, already halfway out of the room by the time he nodded. Nash and my dad followed me through the dining room and into the kitchen, where I knelt to dig a bag of elbow pasta from the back of a bottom cabinet.
Id thought I was ready. That I could deal with whatever he had to say. But the truth was that I couldnt just sit there and watch my father cry. I needed something to keep my hands busy while my heart broke.
You can cook? My father eyed me in surprise as I pulled a pot from another cabinet, and a block of Velveeta from my uncles shelf in the fridge.
Its just pasta. Uncle Brendon taught me. Hed also taught me to hide the occasional bag of chocolate behind his stash of pork rinds, which Aunt Val would never touch, even to throw away in a frenzied junk food purge.
My father sat on one of the bar stools, still watching as I turned the burner on and sprinkled salt into the water. Nash settled on a stool two down from him and crossed his arms on the countertop.
So what do you want to know first? My dad met my gaze over the cheese I was unwrapping on a cutting board.
I shrugged and pulled a knife from a drawer on my left. I think I have a pretty good handle on the whole bean sidhe thing, thanks to Nash. My father cringed, and I might have felt guilty if hed ever made any attempt to explain things himself. But why did Aunt Val say I was living on borrowed time? What does that mean?
This time he flinched like Id slapped him. Hed obviously been expecting something elseprobably a technical question from the How to Be a Bean Sidhe handbook, my copy of which had probably gotten lost in the mail.
My father sighed and suddenly looked very tired. Thats a long story, Kaylee, and one Id rather tell in private.
No. I shook my head firmly and ripped open the bag of pasta. You flew halfway around the world because you owe me an explanation. Not to mention an apology. I want to hear it now.
My fathers brow rose in surprise, and more than a hint of irritation. Then he frowned. You sound just like your mother.
Yeah, well, I had to inherit a backbone from someone. Wouldnt she want you to tell me whatever it is you have to say?
He couldnt have looked more shocked if Id punched him. I honestly dont know. But youre right. Youre entitled to all the facts. He closed his eyes briefly, as if gathering his thoughts.
It all started the night you died.
